So I'm seriously considering suicide.

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Hero in a half shell

It's not easy being green
Dec 30, 2009
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buddee1 said:
I'm 17 years old. And I understand that these problems may seem insignificant to you but to me they control my life. The things that I care about have abandoned me and it seems like I can not rely on anything.
You need to talk to someone. Somebody physical who you trust, do not make any attempts at suicide after only asking strangers over the internet. Talk to someone.

Life will not turn out the way you plan it. To Quote Alex Trevelyn "Half of everything is luck James" But remember that you live in a first world country with a welfare state, and have a devoted family (even if they don't seem like it) and an education, you have a rich enough background to afford a computer and internet (putting you in the top 99% richest people alive on the planet) and I'm guessing you aren't disabled or mentally impaired. If you knuckle down and work hard then there is very little that can stand in the way of you succeeding in life! You have a strong, safe framework behind your life propping you up from failure, and the only way you can be brought down from it is if you jump. Your life will not fall into pieces, and you shouldn't murder yourself on the blind chance that it might.

Yes, all you may be able to see at the moment is your problems. The issues that are stressing and pressuring you, but think forward in time. What will those problems mean to you in a months time? a year? a decade? Your life has so much potential and it will get better. Our problems have a way of working themselves out. You will find more great friends, you will meet plenty of potential girlfriends, you will get better jobs, and a proper career, more freedom, more independence, you will grow smarter, wiser, less affected by stress, and your social circle will become much closer, nicer and more genuine. Your life will be so much better in a few years time, and it will keep getting better if you work at it. Don't do something stupid that will permanently mess all that up.

Some final words of advice, if you do decide to go ahead with suicide. Choose to die through starvation. Because death is permanent, you can't undo that choice, so you will have enough time to make sure it is truly what you want, and you will be able to see just how it will affect the ones who love you.
Oh, and again, most importantly I say talk about it to someone you know!
 

UnderGlass

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Jan 12, 2012
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If I might flip your comment around I would suggest that by posting this plea for advice that you're also considering living. Hold on to that. Hold tight to the memories, experiences and people that matter, even if they are not necessarily bringing you happiness right now. There are things in your life that you still want to stick around for.

As others have said, first things first: you need to do something about that depression. Things won't get any easier carrying that anchor around your neck. Believe me, as a long-time sufferer of depression, it feeds on misfortune and amplifies your disconnection with life. Depression is not a sign of weakness but it is a handicap, if you can see the difference. It needs to be treated like an external force the same as any disease and you do neither yourself nor your loved ones any favors by alowing it to control your viewpoint.

After you have addressed that essential problem, then the old cliche that life is always changing and things simply don't stay bad forever actually starts to make sense. Trust me :)
 

Blobpie

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May 20, 2009
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But if you die, the world loses you.
We lose:
A person that is like no other,
No one will be like you,
We will lose all you are and all of your potential (which is a great deal)
We will lose your experiences, as well as the experiences you will have
If you die now, you will never know what tomorrow brings.
It may be hard now but you need to hold on, just a little longer.

Remember life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.
 

Dtox333

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Dec 7, 2011
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As some others have suggested, and this is seriously not to advertise it, try My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I can't tell you how many people have testified how it has alleviated their depression, my own included, others have even stated how it pulled them away from suicide.

It's happy, colorful, and entertaining, and bronies are very supportive and comforting of their own members.

I'm serious about this, it wrecks me to hear people say they have thoughts of suicide, and the show is possibly the most accessible of stress relievers.

Just do what you need to do, see a doctor, a therapist, take anti depressants, anything.
 
Jan 27, 2011
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buddee1 said:
I'm 17 years old. And I understand that these problems may seem insignificant to you but to me they control my life. The things that I care about have abandoned me and it seems like I can not rely on anything.
Well, there's one thing you CAN rely on at all times.

Yourself.

It might not feel like it, and at time you may feel worthless (Hell, I think that about myself all the time), but no matter what happens, you will always have yourself.

As long as you can keep picking yourself up, things WILL get better. Yes, life is shitting on you at the moment. But this is one small segment of your life, there's over 70-80 years for things to get way better. If you can overcome this hurdle, then it will make you that much stronger.

I'll close with this: When I look at your posts, I DO NOT see a whiny emo kid. I see a kid who has been hurt quite badly, but even so remains intelligent and aware of himself. I don't see someone who wants to die. I see someone who can overcome this shit. If you feel your world is screwing you, turn around and screw your world.
 

quiet_samurai

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buddee1 said:
So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now. Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing. My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope. I'm sure that someone on here has been in a worse situation then this, so I'm asking this from anyone. How do you deal with this?

Man up, realize that life gets hard, sometimes almost seeming hopeless. Just because it isn't all sparkly and perfect now doesn't mean it won't get better later. Considering checking out early basically because of some social issues is pretty lame. People are assholes sometimes, especially those closest to you, deal with it. I might sound harsh, but that is the reality of it.

Christ, I recently lost my job due to some coorperate bullshit, my savings will be tapped in a couple of months, I'm two months behind on car payments, barely make rent.... and on top of that went on house arrest for thirty days and am still facng future legal problems and possibly a short jail sentance for some bullshit thing that happend almost a year ago.

But am I wallowing in misery? Fuck no. It's life, and all my problems like yours are fixable. Just ask yourself... in one or two years time will any of this matter? No... not if you do something about it. Letting it fester won't make it better, and it certainly won't get better if you kill yourself.
 

peruvianskys

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Jun 8, 2011
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buddee1 said:
So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now. Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing. My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope. I'm sure that someone on here has been in a worse situation then this, so I'm asking this from anyone. How do you deal with this?
As someone who has attempted suicide more than once, I can really recommend against it. Track down a counselor or a trusted confidant, discussing it with a doctor, attempt to get on some anti-depressants for a while until things stabilize. Overall just be honest about your feelings and confront them; this is a great first step towards doing that. Even intense emotions lose their power over you when you acknowledge them openly and take steps to change them!
 

Mazza35

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Jan 20, 2011
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Okay, here is one of things said to me by a very inspiration person in my life. (This was a school lecture, high school :p)
'Sometimes, life is shit. Absolutely butt-fuckingly horrible. But, that's life. Life is shit, and life is good. Without being sad we couldn't happy, and vice versa. Because, soon or later, life will be good, and by good I mena HOLY SHIT TITTIES IT FEELS LIKE RAINBOWS HITTING ME IN THE CROTCH good.
So, we have to push through all the shit in this world, to get the rainbows.'

This is one of the main things that got me through life. Also Rise Against. Epic band of rainbow winning IMO.

Also a quote from M.L.K:
'You must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.'
 

HardkorSB

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Mar 18, 2010
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buddee1 said:
Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing.
Not EVERYTHING.
You're still healthy, you have a home to live in, clothes to put on, food to eat, your parents are still together. Damn, you've probably never had to work a day in your life.

buddee1 said:
My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope.
So when problems appear, you want to end your life? A life without sorrow is an incomplete life.
If I was going to kill myself when my life got troublesome, I would die at the age of 4, when I got beat up until I was bleeding for the first time. Or at the age of 10, when my grandfather died. Or somewhere between the age 11-14, when half the kids in my school were picking on me and beating me up kind of like that Asian kid from the clip on youtube, and when the teachers were doing the same thing, only on an emotional level. Or at the age of 18, when the girl I wanted to spend my life with went to live abroad and I never saw her again. And so on.
But I didn't, and with each day, I became stronger. Failure means nothing to me. I'm like a sayian - after each defeat, I come back more powerful. I know more than the people around me, I can do more than the people around me, I can take more than the people around me.
You won't learn anything if there's only success in your life.

Success gives you confidence.
Failure gives you knowledge and skills.
Too much confidence makes you blind.
There is no such thing as too much knowledge and skills.

Did that help?
 

smithy_2045

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Jan 30, 2008
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Do not ask an internet forum for help, see a qualified professional. They are specifically trained to help you deal with this shit, and I know from personal experience that it makes a world of difference.
 

buddee1

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Jan 11, 2009
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HardkorSB said:
buddee1 said:
Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing.
Not EVERYTHING.
You're still healthy, you have a home to live in, clothes to put on, food to eat, your parents are still together. Damn, you've probably never had to work a day in your life.

buddee1 said:
My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope.
So when problems appear, you want to end your life? A life without sorrow is an incomplete life.
If I was going to kill myself when my life got troublesome, I would die at the age of 4, when I got beat up until I was bleeding for the first time. Or at the age of 10, when my grandfather died. Or somewhere between the age 11-14, when half the kids in my school were picking on me and beating me up kind of like that Asian kid from the clip on youtube, and when the teachers were doing the same thing, only on an emotional level. Or at the age of 18, when the girl I wanted to spend my life with went to live abroad and I never saw her again. And so on.
But I didn't, and with each day, I became stronger. Failure means nothing to me. I'm like a sayian - after each defeat, I come back more powerful. I know more than the people around me, I can do more than the people around me, I can take more than the people around me.
You won't learn anything if there's only success in your life.

Success gives you confidence.
Failure gives you knowledge and skills.
Too much confidence makes you blind.
There is no such thing as too much knowledge and skills.

Did that help?
Not exactly. Its almost rude how you generalize me. My parents have been divorced since I was 7 ( for which my brother blames me and reminds me of that every chance he gets), Even though my parents have joint custody I rarely see either of them, when I do see them they usually comment on how I spend too much time in my room or how my brother does things better then I do.
The things that are effecting me, to me at least, are not small things. People who I depend on and have an emotional connection with abandoned me. People who are literally suppose to help me through anything shrug me aside.
That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends. When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.
 

Reggie Rock

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Jan 12, 2012
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I'm not going to advocate suicide man. But if you truly think you should commit suicide, then by all means that is YOUR decision. You might be hurting your family/friends or you might not, but in the end this is a decision that you have to make.

I don't know you and i don't know what exactly makes you want to, but if you decide you don'twant to live anymore then no one has the right to stop you from deciding what you do with your life.
 

KeyMaster45

Gone Gonzo
Jun 16, 2008
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I'm bad with words of wisdom, but I think this adequately says what I'd like to get across.


In case it wasn't obvious, always look on the bright side of life. :D
 

lacktheknack

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Jan 19, 2009
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buddee1 said:
That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends. When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.
And that's just the thing... You're not strong now.

But emotional strength is like physical strength, almost identical, in fact. To become physically stronger, you have to literally break your muscles and let them heal, and they'll be stronger and more toned than they were before. The same goes for emotional strength.

For instance, when I began my gym membership for a year, I could ab-curl ~120 pounds. By the end of the year, I could do 220 pounds. It was quite uncomfortable and exhausting, but I regret nothing and have a stronger core.

Similarly, I was homeschooled with few friends and no enemies for the first six grades. When I was dropped into Jr. High in grade seven, I was emotionally fragile as you could imagine. Suicidal tendencies and fury followed. However, by grade nine, the worst insults did very little to me. It was a painful two years, but I'm glad they happened.

Admittedly, this sounds like dropping someone who's never been to a gym on the leg press and saying "Do thirty reps with 300 pounds", which is a pretty cruel thing to do, but it's possible to do. And if they manage, they'll be stronger at the other end.

Also, call the suicide hotline and see a therapist. It's not like you have anything to lose.
 

Ekit

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Oct 19, 2009
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Think about all the awesome things in the world though... Like dinosaurs.

Speeking as someone who has failed two suicide attempts, trust me, it gets better. Seriously, it does.

I don't want to depress you more, but this is the only life you are going to get, it would be foolish to end it after only 17 years. The world is a cool place if you know where to look.
 

Zen Toombs

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Nov 7, 2011
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buddee1 said:
There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said several times already, so I'll just lend my voice. Stick with this[sup]1[/sup]. It'll be alright. ^_^

[sup]1[/sup]: And by this, I mean life & related shenanigans.
 

Estocavio

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Aug 5, 2009
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buddee1 said:
HardkorSB said:
buddee1 said:
Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing.
Not EVERYTHING.
You're still healthy, you have a home to live in, clothes to put on, food to eat, your parents are still together. Damn, you've probably never had to work a day in your life.

buddee1 said:
My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope.
So when problems appear, you want to end your life? A life without sorrow is an incomplete life.
If I was going to kill myself when my life got troublesome, I would die at the age of 4, when I got beat up until I was bleeding for the first time. Or at the age of 10, when my grandfather died. Or somewhere between the age 11-14, when half the kids in my school were picking on me and beating me up kind of like that Asian kid from the clip on youtube, and when the teachers were doing the same thing, only on an emotional level. Or at the age of 18, when the girl I wanted to spend my life with went to live abroad and I never saw her again. And so on.
But I didn't, and with each day, I became stronger. Failure means nothing to me. I'm like a sayian - after each defeat, I come back more powerful. I know more than the people around me, I can do more than the people around me, I can take more than the people around me.
You won't learn anything if there's only success in your life.

Success gives you confidence.
Failure gives you knowledge and skills.
Too much confidence makes you blind.
There is no such thing as too much knowledge and skills.

Did that help?
Not exactly. Its almost rude how you generalize me. My parents have been divorced since I was 7 ( for which my brother blames me and reminds me of that every chance he gets), Even though my parents have joint custody I rarely see either of them, when I do see them they usually comment on how I spend too much time in my room or how my brother does things better then I do.
The things that are effecting me, to me at least, are not small things. People who I depend on and have an emotional connection with abandoned me. People who are literally suppose to help me through anything shrug me aside.
That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends. When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.
There are People in far worse situations, My Good Man. Think of it this way: In Third World Countries, Children without any living family starve and dehydrate, but damn do they try to survive. And most of them do.
 

JesterRaiin

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Apr 14, 2009
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buddee1 said:
So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now.
No, it's really not that good place for such talk.

First of all, a little salt on your wound, but believe me, you deserve it.
For a moment stop worrying about your issues only and think about such scenario :
- you come here and express your readiness to commit suicide
- people try to advice you, even without knowing you, because, hey, you're one of us, right ?
- then you disappear - maybe because you need to take a little vacation from everything, maybe because you don't feel like talking, and maybe because you tried to really hang yourself or something

Now the questions :
What do you think, how will that affect at least some of your fellow Escapists ?
Don't you think that some will say "oh man, i could do something more, i could try to give better advice, and now he is probably dead because i wasn't that good talker" ?
Was that really that necessary to put that kind of responsibility upon us ?
Couldn't you just go with "i feel like sh*t, a little help please" ?

The reality is just like that - we think about ourselves too much when we should think about other people.
And from time to time we think about people while we should mind our own business.

That brings us to the second part of what i wanted to say...

- It hurts, but you'll survive. It will change. Nobody said that leveling was an easy task. You gained additional experience, now it's time to organize it and advance.

- Life is about possibilities, about new sub-quests and adventures. Death is about nothingness. It's not that you'll play some other game. It's switching computer off. Permanently, for the rest of eternity.

- Yes, some of us were in worse situations. You wouldn't believe how difficult some of them were. How we dealt with that ? By not giving up, not thinking how shi*y our situation is, by having patience and faith in tomorrow.

Give yourself a little time man.
Forget how things look like now.
There will be change. :)
 

Elvis Starburst

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Aug 9, 2011
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buddee1 said:
Not exactly. Its almost rude how you generalize me. My parents have been divorced since I was 7 ( for which my brother blames me and reminds me of that every chance he gets), Even though my parents have joint custody I rarely see either of them, when I do see them they usually comment on how I spend too much time in my room or how my brother does things better then I do.
The things that are effecting me, to me at least, are not small things. People who I depend on and have an emotional connection with abandoned me. People who are literally suppose to help me through anything shrug me aside.
That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends. When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.
Ok, I'm gonna step in and give it my best shot at 12:15 in the morning, cause I can XD

There should never be any reason for suicide. There are always reasons for sadness, hate, anger, disappointment, and all else. But when you feel it's too much that you just need to commit suicide, then you've admitted defeat to life. Life is there to challenge you, test you, let you see just what you're made of. And if you just give up and kill yourself, you're saying to the entire world "you all mean nothing to me. Life wins, and I give up". But if you really did commit suicide, what about those who you will be leaving behind? What about the potential things in life that could make you feel amazing?

I'll admit, I've felt like stuff was just so shitty I shouldn't care anymore, even when me and my gf broke up, and it was my own stupid fault. I still hurt and regret over it, but it doesn't matter, it's over and done. There's no reason to feel sad about it anymore. I kept going, and everything started getting good again. In fact, my life has never been better. I have a well-paying job, saving to move out and go to college, I have all the friends I could need, and that's not many at all, but it's enough for me... and things are just overall good for me. This is the life I've been given with patience, and putting some effort into making it so.

I never gave up, and look where it has gotten me. Look at where it has gotten the rest of the world. You think half of these people who live happy lives did it by just giving up? Just when things were down and sad? No way man. These people who live great lives kept going, even when times were tough, and their life has become something great.

My point is, don't just give up on all of this. There's no point in giving up. You're young enough, and so am I. I am looking towards the future, so don't let the past, or present hold you down. You let it bring you down and hold you back, you are giving up the possibly amazing future life can hold for you. So cmon, let's see you try man.

Go out there, into the world, with a changed outlook. Confront your parents if you really are having issues. If they care for you, they'll listen and hopefully understand. Your brother? That's just what brothers do, but just ask for him to take it easy, maybe not be so harsh towards you. Friends? Ask them why they've turned their backs on you. If they won't come back, go make some more. It's not the toughest thing in the world. I lack friends, but by working at my job, I've made a good handful of them.

Just be strong, keep fighting this, and don't let it hold you back. There's no benefit to letting these things hold you down from your future. Alright? :3
 

tobi the good boy

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Whenever I feel down, I turn into a solipsist. Considering yourself the centre of the universe is a rather nice way to get a confidence boost and do something about your life. The world ultimately is a wonderful place and it is the hardships that help us really appreciate the wonderful things that can happen to you, but you have to accept good things as they come your way which is a bit of a ***** if you're depressed because you've got your head in a rut. But they do happpen, be more positive and the world will become yours.