So Let's Talk About Sex....

[Larsirius]

I guess I find myself somewhere in between, as I don't particularly approve of anyone having a tremendous amount of partners, but I'm not a supporter of all-romantic sex either. I myself have had a few fuck friends, whom I've stuck with for as long as a year at the time, but no romantic feelings where involved, and it worked great for me. Everyone has a different perspective on sex, what they enjoy, and what they want out of it.

 

[Outright Villainy]

All my relationships are open - I myself am polyamorous, but I'm not especially interested in sex. This is a big reason why my relationshops are open. I understand I'm not very good at fulfilling a partners sexual needs, but I still want them to be happy, so if they can find someone who can, they can go for it.

I'm not bothered by others sexual appetites, however I am bothered when they don't practice safe sex. It should be taken as a given.

That's a very mature attitude to polyamourism. I always assumed most people were for it for some selfish gain. ("Moar sex for me!")

I can honestly say I wouldn't be as selfless as you though.
I can get insanely jealous over even tiny things, and that'd drive me right over the edge. I wouldn't even want it for myself, because I don't think anything so trivial is worth risking my relationship; I wouldn't even want a threesome in case my girlfriend felt bad after. Human emotions are a fickle business.

To people in general: Different strokes for different folks. It doesn't bother me at all if other people have lots of casual sex.

 

[DannibalG36]

Religion plays a big part on my view of sex, which is that sex before marriage is a sin. Not a mortal sin, but a sin still.

However, I don't care a whit if other people have casual sex, talk about sex, or make jokes about sex. Life has inured me to anything shocking and sex-related. Heterosexual sex, that is. My feelings on homosexual sex cannot be expressed here, what with the BANHAMMER hanging over me like Damocles' sword.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

I'm more of a romantic and although I do have a bit of a perve when I see an attractive person, I don't think I could ever just have sex for the sake of having sex, I need a spark to be there an emotional attachment. And some people just like to have some fun, to each there own.

Sex is about procreation anyway, that's why it exists...to make babies. We're such a self involved and narcissistic species that we make it about us.

Gah damn it, I knew I was doing it wrong.

I don't stuff my ears with cotton wool before I play the piano...

That's my feeling. As I said, I have no real sex drive to start with, and using condoms sucks hard.

Argh! I hate this attitude that "condoms suck" no wonder why STI's and underage pregnancies are so high. I think some people really need to be educated in safe sex and STI's

I use 'em(other than when I had a steady girlfriend and we had other methods in place)...just don't like 'em.

Great invention, but they do numb you to the experience.

 

[Something Amyss]

Open relationships can work as long as everyone involved can handle it. In my experience, everyone involved can handle it. There's a Benjamin Franklin saying that goes "Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead." While there are a few good secret keepers, the point is sound: The more people involved, the harder it is to keep the secret. It translates well into sexual relationships. The more people involved, the harder it is to keep everyone happy (and not in the pleasure sense).

I'm okay with sleeping around until it gets to the point of cheating. Cheating hurts the people involved. I'm not automatically for it, but I'm sexually permissive in that I don't condemn things just because I don't personally enjoy them.

I don't believe in anything like saving yourself for marriage, the concept of virginal purity, or the need for it to be with your true love. We added these social stigmas to make something pleasurable verbotten. Still, sex is better with someone you're actually intimate with, so....

 

[MirrorSweep]

Sex without emotional attachment seems pointless.

But, just an opinion.

 

[DeepComet5581]

Or more specifically, your feelings towards casual sex and romantic sex.

Just something I'm curious to find out, how does the Escapist feel about open relationships, casual sex or people who sleep around a lot?

This is something I've been wondering about for some time now but never really got around to asking it. I was talking with a certain user here who shall not be named, who is in full support for casual sex and open relationships. Now, I think I've made my stance on the subject clear by now, but for those of you who don't know, I am the type of person who wants to wait for someone I love until I have sex so needless to say, I don't agree in the least with those types of people who go round having sex with as many people as possible.

Note that I'm in no way saying my way of thinking is better, it just works best for me. I personally don't see the point in going around fucking everyone you possibly can when you have your hands to give you the same satisfaction. For example, I know a girl who is 19 and has had sex with 29 men. And she lost her virginity at 17.

Now I may be a prude or I may be close minded with an old fashioned way of thinking but am I the only one who is bothered when you hear about people like this?

And she's not the worst I know. Some are in the triple digits and they're not even 30. Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds. Personally, I don't see the point of that. Thinking about things like that makes me very uncomfortable and I know that's just me but I can't be the only one.

I'm all for sexual freedom, but when it gets to that point, it becomes a little much.

So, Escapist, what do you think about all this?

For those of you wondering, I am 16, a virgin and an atheist, so my opinions on sex are not affected by religious influence.

This doesn't bother me in the slightest. I know 2 people who lost their virginity at 14, one of whom got pregnant.

Being able to exercise ones sexual freedom at a young age means you get it out of your system and are unlikely to do stupid things when you're older. I will admit, having sex with 100+ people by 19 is waaaay too much but hey, some people have insatiable appetites.

I personally am, as you put it, an old prude. I prefer to pursue a relationship before going any further (With little success).

 

[SimuLord]

Meh, I've slept with... a few people.

Not many. But I'm already tired of random sex. Seriously. It was fun and all, but explaining stuff to new people, making sure they're not an STD infested whore, etc. etc., then ending up with some mediocre sex because we don't really know each other or our likes and dislikes wasn't really that good.

Meanwhile, doing stuff with my boyfriend is great- we don't need to spend ages dicking around with finding out what we like. Great sex on tap, so to speak.

I can't speak for the gay thing, but as a straight guy I totally agree with this sentiment---when I find a quality partner I want to keep her around for as long as she'll have me. Better sex that way.

 

[xDarc]

I'm 28. I've had about 200 partners- like 95% of those were from ages 17-23. I slowed down a lot once I got herpes. It's caused me a little extra grief with dating, but no buggie. Least it wasn't the hiv. Made me think though.

I feel like I should impart some wisdom here; but everyone is unique and we would all respond differently to the same experiences.

All I can say is that I've learned an awful lot about people, and it's so easy to understand the motivations of others now. I have infinite patience and self control, generally speaking; but especially with dating and taking it slow. I'm a charmer, my touch can melt anyone, my self confidence is unwavering. I had problems with feeling and emotional attachment, put myself into therapy, worked out my issues. I'm extremely open and honest, I communicate well, and I never have a desire to cheat because every possible sexual wish has been fulfilled.

Now, i'm the total package with a dark and mysterious past that no one wants because, "I'm too easy." That's what the 33 yr old im dating told me last night. She has only ever loved guys who don't show anything back.

Apparently, even at middle age, women still go for insecure, irresponsible, emotionally dull, inexperienced drama queens... and I'm just some angel of orgasms to pass the time with in between.

Two months ago it was the 23 yr old who thought I was such a great guy, but she wanted her freedom. She didn't know why, didn't know what she was going to do with her freedom, she just knew she NEEDED it. Only thing your freedom is gonna get you honey, is an eventual free trip to the clinic. No boy has ever taken her on a "date," they ask her to "hang out." She was pretty disappointed when I told her to get lost when she asked me if we could be like friends who take their pants off. Too old for that shit.

God damn it. I've just about seen and done it all; and I'll summarize it like this-

Remember that movie "War Games," where the 80's computer that controls the nation's missiles learns that there are no winners in nuclear war, by playing tic-tac-toe at warp speed, over and over again?

It decides the only way to win, is not to play.

 

[Woodsey]

She lost her virginity at seventeen? Damn, that's late. My friend's son was born when we were in eighth grade.

17 may be a little late, but having a kid at 12/13 is just fucking weird.

OT: Have sex with who you want and when you want (as long as they're agreeing to it, obviously...). The amount of high and mighty's that turn up on threads like these is actually a little annoying.

 

[Zeetchmen]

I feel sex is the culmination of a realtionship and view 'casual' sex as low class

 

[Aesthetical Quietus]

Spoiler: Damn some girls are (..insert insulting descriptor towards "loose" woman here...)

Or more specifically, your feelings towards casual sex and romantic sex.

Just something I'm curious to find out, how does the Escapist feel about open relationships, casual sex or people who sleep around a lot?

This is something I've been wondering about for some time now but never really got around to asking it. I was talking with a certain user here who shall not be named, who is in full support for casual sex and open relationships. Now, I think I've made my stance on the subject clear by now, but for those of you who don't know, I am the type of person who wants to wait for someone I love until I have sex so needless to say, I don't agree in the least with those types of people who go round having sex with as many people as possible.

Note that I'm in no way saying my way of thinking is better, it just works best for me. I personally don't see the point in going around fucking everyone you possibly can when you have your hands to give you the same satisfaction. For example, I know a girl who is 19 and has had sex with 29 men. And she lost her virginity at 17.

Now I may be a prude or I may be close minded with an old fashioned way of thinking but am I the only one who is bothered when you hear about people like this?

And she's not the worst I know. Some are in the triple digits and they're not even 30. Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds. Personally, I don't see the point of that. Thinking about things like that makes me very uncomfortable and I know that's just me but I can't be the only one.

I'm all for sexual freedom, but when it gets to that point, it becomes a little much.

So, Escapist, what do you think about all this?

For those of you wondering, I am 16, a virgin and an atheist, so my opinions on sex are not affected by religious influence.

Personally I prefer sex within a relationship. Sex when done in this way is normally better and far, far more satisfying, especially on an emotional level. I can't understand people that prefer one night stands, I prefer the intimacy and the emotions that go on between the two people involved rather than just the pure fluid transfer.

That being said, I'm willing to go for a one night stand if I'm single. Who knows, we might hit it off.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Ha, I think people like that deserve to get sexual diseases. They obviously don't regard their sexual health and well being, so balls to them. (Quite literally...)
It's usually because those people have incredibly low self esteem, sleeping around ups it for a while but destroys it when they realise they were used. I pity them more than anything.
I'm probably just a prude though, I only sleep with my boyfriends and pretty much everything on TV seems to think it's fine to cheat on your significant other.

What the fuck?

Who are "people like that"? You mean those who have casual sex, they deserve an STD/STI? even if they're practising safe sex, which can't be said for most people in relationships.

Some yes, need to boost their self esteem for 1/2 hour and that's very sad and I do feel sorry for them as something is missing in their lives, but most just love sex?

I'e slept with a lot of people, but I love sex, I have no issues regarding my self esteem and I did not deserve an STI (which I've never had) because I practised safe sex.

I meant the people the OP mentioned, who have slept with 100s of people at a young age. They obviously have no respect for themselves, so I have no respect for them either.
I just don't think it's right and wouldn't be surprised if they slipped up once and caught something.
Not to mention the reputation some of the people I know have got from it.
As long as you're staying safe, that's fine. I know a lot of people who just stupidly risk it. I made sure me and my boyfriend were checked for everything before we started sleeping together.

 

[Washboard]

Its fine to me what people do...entirely their own buisness imo. However i personally do not endorse the idea of sleeping around, people are right it does take away the intimacy. Plus being in the age of HIV/AIDS etc etc its probably not a good trait from a health point of view.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

The same way you believe sex is something special that can bring partners together the same way other people believe sex is not special at all. I consider nothing about sex to be special. It's a part of life just like breathing is. Whenever somebody says that "sex is special". I always wonder why they don't consider shitting, pissing, breathing, eating and swallowing special.

 

[GLo Jones]

Snip!

Sex without emotional attachment seems pointless.

But, just an opinion.

This pretty much sums up a lot of people's views here. But people don't need emotional attachment to masturbate, to take drugs, to drink, to play games online with strangers. You don't need to be emotionally attached to a roller coaster, or the other people riding it.

Sex is fun. Much more fun than 'doing it yourself'. Of course it's nothing compared to 'making love' to your partner, and I would never dream of cheating on anyone. But when single, if you and someone find each other mutually attractive, what's wrong with a little fun?

 

[craddoke]

Love as thou wilt.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I find it funny how there are so many people here that talk about sex as a sacred thing, but have never had any.

 

[KnowYourOnion]

Eh, who you do is up to you. (alliteration is fun)

that's not alliteration............
OT: I'd rather have a few special people than a whole army hookers

 

[Ham_authority95]

crap, bad post.

-delete this please-