so....Not having children=Selfish?

[Vault101]

yes, I know this is kind of the wrong kind of topic for....well a gaming site (full of people probably less inclined to get excited about babies), but hey Im bored and Ive been thinking of this

now Im going to go out on a limb here and say this gets labelled on you more if you are female, obviously because child rearing has always been "our" thing..but anyway

thing is everything about that statement makes absolutly NO sense to me

1. selfish to WHO exactally? who am I harming in not having a child? who am I benefitting in having a child? both answers: myself...oh and my partner

2. Its more selfish to want to have your own...than..say..adoption, I mean if your thinking of child-rearing as an "anti-selfish" act then why wouldt adoption be your first choice? because its hard..yes, and perhaps because having children can be somthing of an ego-boost in itself (for some peopel, not most) because you want "your own"...obviously its biological but I dont see anything overly altruistic about it

3.Child rearing is a lifestyle choice, is it selfish of me to not have children because I want to pursue my own goals...rather than have children and be a terrible parent because I dont want to give up everything to raise them?

the ony logic I get from this comment is "YOU MUST SUFFER LIKE THE REST OF US" (one of us, one of us, one of us)

ok thats dramatic but still..so

discussion value, have you or somone you know ever encountered this kind of attitude? can you explain why not having kids is somhow selfish/non-selfish? and what do you think about it in general? [/B]

because seriously, I dont get it

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

3.Child rearing is a lifestyle choice, is it selfish of me to not have children because I want to pursue my own goals...rather than have children and be a terrible parent because I dont want to give up everything to raise them?

This is the main reason I don't want kids. Once you have kids, you have to devote HUUUGE amounts of effort to them. And considering I have ADD and aspergers, I might end up passing those genes to any kids I have, making their lives even harder and making it harder to raise them.

I might change my mind someday (assuming I or my partner lands a DAMN good job), but really, I'd prefer not to.

Is it selfish? Maybe. But it's also an attitude that helps prevent overpopulation.

 

[Commonly Confused]

In most parts of the "civilized" world, we no longer have to worry about having three to seven children to help the family survive.

It is just no longer required. You can if you want but I am not going to judge someone who decides that they want to have their own life.

 

[Dismal purple]

My grandmother once said that you shouldn't have children because it's a nice thing to have (more specifically, to own) without realizing that you'll be raising an actual person or understanding the responsibility. I would consider doing that to be selfish if anything.

 

[Jedoro]

By Sithis, excuse me for wanting to hold onto my money and not wanting to eat McDonald's for every meal because I have another mouth to feed and decent food is now too expensive!

Sure, not having kids is selfish because it's less stress, less responsibility, and more money for you, but taking on that responsibility of making someone into a productive member of society is stupid if you're not materially prepared for it, i.e. sufficient income to live comfortably.

 

[octafish]

I only skimmed your post, but it's selfish because you are jeopardizing the economy and stability of your country by refusing to have children. Every couple must produce at least two children on average to sustain your population, but since there are factors such as early death, sterility, homosexuality inhibiting us, couple must produce above 2 children or the population will dwindle over the years. Then of course there's the fact that the ratio of boys to girls is not equal, so even more children need to be produced.

Lowering the national reproductive rates to below the par required for sustaining to population results in age demographic imbalances. China is famous for it's one child policy they introduced to help counter overpopulation. This has been disastrous because it actually worked to an extent and since people stopped producing enough children, the country's average age is very high compared to most countries, it's a big problem when your country mostly contains seniors for obvious reasons.

Canada's population is actually at risk because too many people don't feel it's worth their time to have kids. Personally I think the government needs to offer more incentives to parents. Sure you will have welfare bums who will only benefit further from this, but more good will come of it than bad I think.

Former Premiere of British Columbia, Gordon Campbell made the situation a little worse in 2010 with the introduction of the new tax system. Yeah, let's tax all children's clothing and goods, I'm sure more people will have kids if we do that.

Agreed. Just look to Japan for a worst case scenario. They have a rapidly aging population and no-one to care for them. Their economy is suffering for it too. Australia is in a similar boat, we have more Baby Boomers who will need aged care that we can afford while maintaining sensible tax rates.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

It's only selfish if you're getting serious with someone you know plans on having kids later on life and you don't let him or her know that you don't want kids.

Otherwise, whatever floats your boat.

 

[octafish]

I only skimmed your post, but it's selfish because you are jeopardizing the economy and stability of your country by refusing to have children. Every couple must produce at least two children on average to sustain your population, but since there are factors such as early death, sterility, homosexuality inhibiting us, couple must produce above 2 children or the population will dwindle over the years. Then of course there's the fact that the ratio of boys to girls is not equal, so even more children need to be produced.

Lowering the national reproductive rates to below the par required for sustaining to population results in age demographic imbalances. China is famous for it's one child policy they introduced to help counter overpopulation. This has been disastrous because it actually worked to an extent and since people stopped producing enough children, the country's average age is very high compared to most countries, it's a big problem when your country mostly contains seniors for obvious reasons.

Canada's population is actually at risk because too many people don't feel it's worth their time to have kids. Personally I think the government needs to offer more incentives to parents. Sure you will have welfare bums who will only benefit further from this, but more good will come of it than bad I think.

Former Premiere of British Columbia, Gordon Campbell made the situation a little worse in 2010 with the introduction of the new tax system. Yeah, let's tax all children's clothing and goods, I'm sure more people will have kids if we do that.

Agreed. Just look to Japan for a worst case scenario. They have a rapidly aging population and no-one to care for them. Their economy is suffering for it too. Australia is in a similar boat, we have more Baby Boomers who will need aged care that we can afford while maintaining sensible tax rates.

So it's selfish to not want to raise kids to take care of a bunch of people you don't know? People need to care for the aging so it's the duty of the young to crank out kids to provide for them?

No, it is a fact that unless your population is boosted by outsiders a low birthrate will harm your economy.

If you are a person capable of empathy having children will make you a lot less selfish though. I am less selfish now, than I was before I became a father.

 

[Dismal purple]

I only skimmed your post, but it's selfish because you are jeopardizing the economy and stability of your country by refusing to have children. Every couple must produce at least two children on average to sustain your population, but since there are factors such as early death, sterility, homosexuality inhibiting us, couple must produce above 2 children or the population will dwindle over the years. Then of course there's the fact that the ratio of boys to girls is not equal, so even more children need to be produced.

Lowering the national reproductive rates to below the par required for sustaining to population results in age demographic imbalances. China is famous for it's one child policy they introduced to help counter overpopulation. This has been disastrous because it actually worked to an extent and since people stopped producing enough children, the country's average age is very high compared to most countries, it's a big problem when your country mostly contains seniors for obvious reasons.

Canada's population is actually at risk because too many people don't feel it's worth their time to have kids. Personally I think the government needs to offer more incentives to parents. Sure you will have welfare bums who will only benefit further from this, but more good will come of it than bad I think.

Former Premiere of British Columbia, Gordon Campbell made the situation a little worse in 2010 with the introduction of the new tax system. Yeah, let's tax all children's clothing and goods, I'm sure more people will have kids if we do that.

Agreed. Just look to Japan for a worst case scenario. They have a rapidly aging population and no-one to care for them. Their economy is suffering for it too. Australia is in a similar boat, we have more Baby Boomers who will need aged care that we can afford while maintaining sensible tax rates.

So it's selfish to not want to raise kids to take care of a bunch of people you don't know? People need to care for the aging so it's the duty of the young to crank out kids to provide for them?

No, it is a fact that unless your population is boosted by outsiders a low birthrate will harm your economy.

And? We owe the economy our lives? We are supposed to crank out kids and devote our lives to helping the economy?

If you are a person capable of empathy having children will make you a lot less selfish though. I am less selfish now, than I was before I became a father.

Alright, prove it will. No, your single case is meaningless and not proof.

A little solidarity isn't that unreasonable to ask for to be honest.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I only skimmed your post, but it's selfish because you are jeopardizing the economy and stability of your country by refusing to have children. Every couple must produce at least two children on average to sustain your population, but since there are factors such as early death, sterility, homosexuality inhibiting us, couple must produce above 2 children or the population will dwindle over the years. Then of course there's the fact that the ratio of boys to girls is not equal, so even more children need to be produced.

Lowering the national reproductive rates to below the par required for sustaining to population results in age demographic imbalances. China is famous for it's one child policy they introduced to help counter overpopulation. This has been disastrous because it actually worked to an extent and since people stopped producing enough children, the country's average age is very high compared to most countries, it's a big problem when your country mostly contains seniors for obvious reasons.

Canada's population is actually at risk because too many people don't feel it's worth their time to have kids. Personally I think the government needs to offer more incentives to parents. Sure you will have welfare bums who will only benefit further from this, but more good will come of it than bad I think.

Former Premiere of British Columbia, Gordon Campbell made the situation a little worse in 2010 with the introduction of the new tax system. Yeah, let's tax all children's clothing and goods, I'm sure more people will have kids if we do that.

That's what immigration is for. I'm pro-immigration because of this. While people who have been here for generations focus on their careers and personal lives without children for longer, immigrants can just come in, get hired to take care of old people, and start a new life. Everyone wins.

This is why I'm considering moving to Japan or China to open an old-folks home. You know how much fucking cash I could get?

 

[octafish]

mother of all snips

True. But spending years of your life to raise kids is more than a little solidarity. That is years of your life, work you have to do, interests of your own you have to shelve.

That sounds selfish doesn't it? Putting your own interests before others, isn't that what selfish is? (Just to continue a discussion on the internet, nothing personal.)

 

[JayElleBee]

Personally, I don't want kids. Not biological ones anyway. I get a little broody from time to time, but I'm not about to splurt out another baby when there are already tons of kids in foster homes who don't have stable families. If I ever get to a point in my life where I think I'd be capable of raising a child (though, how much raising would go on is debatable, since I'd adopt an older child) then I'd adopt, but screw anyone who tells me it's 'my duty' to have biological kids.