So relationships...Why?

[Palademon]

I had to facepalm at everyone who wrote "For sex".

Yes, that is an advantage, and ONE reason. It may be a leading reason for some but not all.

Sure, I'd like to have sex. I'd also like to be compatable with someone, and spend the rest of my life with them acting snarky to the rest of the world. Because aslong as I have them, who needs the world?

I'd like knowing that for once somebody sees things like I do and agrees with me, making me feel important. I'd like to be someone's favourite thing in the world.

Sex is an important part, but it's not the only thing that can cause relationships to live or die.

 

[creager91]

I gotta be honest it is nice to see such optimism in this thread but I do have a question for those in the long term relationship.

I have a female best friends, I mean I have always had one and no more now that I think of it, like even when one friendship ends I end up finding another, but at the same time I have never been attracted to these girls, other guys have, damn ive almost gotten into a lot of fights from being the protective older brother haha like I know that guys find these girls hot and to be honest I do too until they become my best friend then its like theyre my little sister and I just dont see them as attractive anymore.

So how do you marry or get into a relationship with your best friend? I guess I just dont get it it might be because Im so young tho i wont rule that out

 

[MelziGurl]

I've been single now for 7 months. I've loved the freedom of it, but I like idea of having someone to come home to, a person who truly loves you for the person you are, that can make you feel the way family and friends just can't.

My ex decided that after cheating on me before proposing to me, then cheating on me some more and eventually falling in love with my best friend that it was time to end our relationship. After everything he's done I still want to share myself completely with someone, but I have been left with some deep seeded trust issues which that person will need some patience and understanding with.

 

[gustcq]

DEstiny man destiny! theres some1 waiting for ya always! -__-.
I guess it is part of animal and human behavior(which are animals) .
True they can get stressful, annoying etc...
It's all part of the life experience.

You dont wanna die a loner nerd in a couch with every console in the world weighting 600 pounds

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Sex. Relationships are all about having a readily available source for sex.
Cynical? Maybe. But true.
Anyway I know I will never meet someone who I want to spend every single day with. That to me is the true killer of relationships. Successful relationships are built on both parties having time away from the other to be themselves.
... and sex.

Wow... You're quite cynical. I suppose if you wanted to go further you could imply that society forces people to view being in a relationship as positive, and being single as negative?

Meh. The anti-depressants I'm on render me essentially asexual for the duration of the treatment, but I still managed to find a girl I wanted to be with just for the sake of her company. Being around her just feels right. And I'll stop now before any further cliches...

 

[Verp]

I don't do romantic or sexual relationships. I generally don't get attached to people and very few of them make a lasting impression. Don't get me wrong, I do like people, but I don't see why I'd need specific people to be with, even though long-lasting friendships are indeed pretty convenient.

The idea of "belonging" to someone and having someone whom I'd "complete" is very creepy to me. I don't want to be anyone's partner unless it's, like, a professional partnership.

 

[bdcjacko]

I don't do romantic or sexual relationships. I generally don't get attached to people and very few of them make a lasting impression. Don't get me wrong, I do like people, but I don't see why I'd need specific people to be with, even though long-lasting friendships are indeed pretty convenient.

The idea of "belonging" to someone and having someone whom I'd "complete" is very creepy to me. I don't want to be anyone's partner unless it's, like, a professional partnership.

Well you don't because the relationship would be a hollow empty gesture. But just because you personally have no reason to be in one doesn't mean it is the same for everyone else. It would be like someone trying to describe why they like chocolate to someone that doesn't like chocolate. You really can't.

 

[Baby Tea]

Sex. Relationships are all about having a readily available source for sex.
Cynical? Maybe. But true.

Cynical? Yes.
True? Absolutely not.

I've been married for just under 3 years. My love for my wife isn't rooted the search, or desire for, sexual gratification. I'm not 15. I don't love my wife because we have sex. That's ridiculous. I don't stay with my wife because we have sex, that's juvenile. I didn't marry my wife so that we could have sex, that's idiotic.

If you honestly think that's what relationships are about, then you've either have never had a meaningful relationship, or you're the latest fad: A cynical teen on the internet. That, or you've had the worst examples of relationships paraded around you your whole life, which is beyond sad. If you aren't some cynical, inexperienced teen, then I find it hard to believe you'll ever have a meaningful relationship with that attitude.

And this:

I feel that relationships are just reasons to induce stress, worry, and jealousy also a colossal waste of money.

What?
What kind of relationships are you in?
What are earth are you worried or stressed about?
What are you jealous of?
And what money are you wasting?

If you're seriously stressed or worried about a relationship, rethink the relationship. Or the roles within it.
If you're jealous, or if your partner is, then that's a personal vice, not a relationship problem. I have no worries, stress, or jealousy if my wife went out for lunch or something with a friend of hers who is a guy. She's her own person, and if I can't trust her to go out with a friend, then I shouldn't be in that relationship. Straight up.

And 'money'? Tell me you're just young. Money means nothing in the face of my wife's happiness. If you're putting your finances over your partner, then what worth is that relationship? Any money I spend on my wife is hardly wasted.

Geez. No wonder divorce rates are so freaking high.
Everyone has the most selfish views on relationships.

It's about sex, money, or how easy is makes your life, apparently.
Grow up, kids.

 

[chromewarriorXIII]

Having just entered my first real relationship I'd say the appeal is knowing that that person returns your feelings you have for them. Me and my girlfriend connect more than I do with any of my friends, even my best friend who I consider like a brother to me. I guess it's that emotional connection that really brings it all together.

Also, as for it adding stress, I've actually been less stressed since meeting my girlfriend. We talk a lot and I've found that it really helps me relax even when I'm worried about stuff like college.

 

[creager91]

snip.

I see what you're saying and I'd like to point out that I never said it was all about money or sex. I just said that to me, by which I mean through my observations of my own experiences and the experiences of the people I know, most likely due to my age I'll admit, relationships and dating in general cost a lot of money and generally that money isnt well spent.

Let me clarify, I personally have no problem paying for a girl on a date, provided she doesnt expect me to pay at all, I however will not pay for a girl that already expects me too, if she doesnt bring any money I'm walking out on her. When I pay for something I want it to be because I want to pay for her not because she expects me to.

At the age of 19 youd be surprised how many girls out there are like the one I just described. Also, I'm not the one saying that what I believe is the way it is. I understand that some people out there really do just find that one person that makes them want to settle down. And as a player I have always told my female best friends (as you can imagine they do get mad at me for being one on occasion) that a player is only a player until they find the girl that makes them want to throw it all away.

 

[SturmDolch]

snip.

Great post!

Romantic relationships are like having a best friend that makes you feel extra special. Someone you can talk about anything with, someone to help you when you're down, and someone to stop you from doing something stupid and give you advice. And then there's the whole physical aspect, too. Just knowing that someone you truly understand can understand you just as well is a great feeling.

Money, stress, jealousy... It's up to you how you'll deal with those.

Today's the third year anniversary with my girlfriend. We've both only been in one relationship, but it's working great.

Money is never a problem. Sometimes I'll pay, sometimes she'll pay, sometimes we'll split it. I really don't care about money spent since the time spent together is worth a lot more. Same goes for gifts.

Stress is way down, too. Most of my friends are going different ways now that we're in University. We're all drifting a bit. It's natural. If I didn't have my girlfriend, I'd feel a bit left out and alone.

Relevant Calvin and Hobbes comic:

 

[devotedsniper]

When it comes to love/relationships i'm abit of a romantic, a big softy and an idiot at the same time...

To me a relationship can get through anything provided enough work is put into it, but really? the appeal of a relationship is having someone who completely gets me (or at least for the most part), someone who doesn't try to change me, someone who i can go to sleep with and wake up with, someone to love, someone who wants to cuddle while watching a movie, theres plenty of reasons why but i think you get the idea.

I'm currently single though and enjoying the drama freeness, well other than the stress and drama that uni brings and if your wondering why i'll leave a bit of info before.

Spoiler: background info

I've had 3 girlfriends, #1 my first love and best friend, #2 someone who i'm close friends with now and #3 my ex fiance.

So what you may ask well time for abit of background info, fell for #1 went out for several months then broke up, dated #2 same story, back to #1 for abit again, then #3 kind of got engaged (at 17 this is way too early i realise but after being together for a year it sort of just happened), but as time went by i pulled away from her because of how she acted (she didn't want me to go to uni, and there were other reasons), then starting to talk to #1 again after a big fall out just before dating #3, i decided i wanted her back again so i went back to her leaving #3. 8-9months down the line after an argument she tells me 4-5 month ago when we had an argument she got drunk and slept with her neighbour (she also thought she may be pregnant), me being the idiot forgives her but she leaves me anyway cause she hurt me (not realising it hurt more to be dumped, again yes i'm a hopeless idiot, it also sent me into deep depression, causing myself to cut myself something i've never done before), several months went by and we tried again for a month which didn't work out i was too busy with uni and the fact i couldn't get the two of them having sex out of my head (but she didn't and still doesn't know the last bit). And now were talking again and i'm getting feelings again (shoot me now lol).

See why i'm enjoying single life at the min lol?

 

[Plurralbles]

well... they are appealing because I'm a needy bastard.

Therefore, I will let someone tug on me for 10 weeks and get nowhere, in fact, further away. In fact^2, she'll fuck a guy she met at a party after 2 weeks of knowing he existed. Fucking harlot...

I am now dating someone who doesn't treat me like crap... mostly because she doesn't treat me like crap.

 

[Technicolor]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.

Woody Allen is better at this than I

 

[Johanthemonster666]

To answer the question posed in the thread title: Because sex can be fun (given the right partner and circumstances)... and hunting new partners all the time is a lot of work.

On that note, I firmly believe the concept of "romantic love" started as a confused combination of friendship and sex, then evolved into the ugly, religious following it is today. I still think love stories are cute sometimes... but it's really just fantasy.
This from a guy in a long-term monogamous relationship (2 years, so far).

Same here, I've been with my partner for 2 years and it's been a wonderful (albeit challenging) experience. The first thing that struck me about this current relationship was how calm, pleasant, and mature it was compared to the ones before (those could be summed up as motivated by sex, anxiety, 'butterflies in the stomach' hormones, and bad judgment). He's my best friend, and monogamous lover without all the obligatory rituals and exercises heterosexual couples think they have to go through to seem normal.

I believe the meaning of "love" is too vague a term in western society and tends to be ridiculously blown out of proportion, idealized, and supported by more traditional values. Apparently keeping sex within marriage and bearing children (for church ministers and everyone else) were the only real reasons the recent concepts of love were ever tolerated by protestant establishment.

Newer generations are changing the paradigm, and I say amen to that. The traditional model seems to fail 30-40% of the time in couples who've been married for more than 5 years, and in newly wed couples it's around 60-65%. I mention marriage because it's essentially the same as a regular MxF, MxM,FxF intimate partner set up (only recognized by law).

 

[Johanthemonster666]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.
Woody Allen is better at this than I

Just saw the film twice this week, my film/literature professor thinks it's the best film by Woody Allen.

 

[Technicolor]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.
Woody Allen is better at this than I

Just saw the film twice this week, my film/literature professor thinks it's the best film by Woody Allen.

Then I highly recommend another Woody Allen movie called "Hannah & Her Sisters", I personally thinks its even better than Annie Hall, if by a small margin. Its certainly funnier in my opinion

 

[creager91]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.

Woody Allen is better at this than I

I kind of want to see that movie now haha it does look good, is that the name of the movie? Annie Hall?

 

[Technicolor]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.

Woody Allen is better at this than I

I kind of want to see that movie now haha it does look good, is that the name of the movie? Annie Hall?

Yeah its called Annie Hall, and it won the 1977 Best Picture Oscar, its the only comedy to ever to do so in the past 30 years.
Don't worry, I didn't spoil anything, the movie tells you the ending in the first five minutes

 

[creager91]

snip

Ill have to look that one up, and I didnt even think it spoiled anything anyway so its cool