So relationships...Why?

[Shoggoth2588]

I've met a lot of people in 23 years. I've met people who've made me laugh, people who've made me cry, people who've pissed me off. I've met people who I thought I loved and people I know I hate.

I've been in a few relationships. None of them ended really badly (for me) but a few really irked me. I went a bit cynical for a while; went through a period where my only relationships were long distance. I found the person I want to be with. It's difficult to describe but once you meet that person, if you meet that person, you'll understand.

 

[sassafrasses]

I think I'm going to just give up on relationships. They never seem to work out. The last guy I was trying to have a relationship with was really sweet and everything I want(ed) but of course, it didnt work out for whatever reason and we aren't speaking either right now.

I guess the point of relationships is to find your soulmate/better-half or whatever you want to call it.

 

[badgersprite]

I'm not interested in them right now, but I intend to pursue them eventually, because, you know, if I don't, then what's the point of my existence? What's the use of having lived if there's nobody left behind who remembers me? No legacy?

I don't know about other people, but I'd feel like I'd wasted my life if I didn't eventually settle down with someone and have some kind of domestic life with somebody, even if we don't necessarily have children of our own.

 

[creager91]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

 

[sassafrasses]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

You and that guy I mentioned in my earlier post would get along great.

 

[Nimcha]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

Why 25?

 

[Ham_authority95]

Hello fellow escapists. I was wondering what you guys could tell me about relationships and why they are so appealing to you or unappealing. As for myself I have become somewhat of a cynic in the past few years and I feel that relationships are just reasons to induce stress, worry, and jealousy also a colossal waste of money. Now granted I have been asked if I was a...pick up artist I think the term was?

Anywho the point is that I'll admit, ever since my ex left me I kind of became a bit of a player and thus a cynic but enough about me what do you guys think? and also if you feel the need to persuade me otherwise I do try to keep an open mind so fire away

The thing I like about my current relationship is the steady stream of awesome, intimate fun we have.

We're both really into music, so we can jam together. We like the same comedy, so we can tell jokes and watch comedians together for hours. She has a really interesting life, so we can talk about that for hours. We like fucked up weird shit, so we do/walk about that for hours. We both like sexual activity, so we can do that together...

Today we played with a sampler and made tons of beats together while completely sucking at it and we promised to write some Hip-hop songs to go with it...good times.

Hopefully that answers your question. If you like not being in relationships and just sleeping with people, than you should continue with it if you're happy.

 

[creager91]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

You and that guy I mentioned in my earlier post would get along great.

Not sure I follow that.

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

Why 25?

Just a personal number I guess. It just seems that to me that people tend to get tired of the party and dating scene around this age + or - 2 yers I guess

 

[sassafrasses]

We seek relationships because being alone sucks

You know, I kinda agree with this. Being alone does suck, but there's more to it than that. Everyone wants someone, we're all afraid of being rejected and alone for the rest of our lives. Some people actually want to get married and have kids someday. Some people just need to find out what they like/want in a significant other, and what they don't like/want. Some people just make it up as they go along and really have no clue. Some people know what they want, but cant have it for whatever reason...

Reality: relationships require work and if only one person is doing the work, the relationship will fail. I learned something about relationships from watching CSI once "If a relationship cannot move forward, it withers and dies"

 

[sassafrasses]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

You and that guy I mentioned in my earlier post would get along great.

Not sure I follow that.

The last guy I tried having a relationship with is 26 and claims he's giving up on relationships completely. Then again, you guys might not get along so great... One never knows

 

[Nimcha]

Just a personal number I guess. It just seems that to me that people tend to get tired of the party and dating scene around this age + or - 2 yers I guess

Some people don't even get into the party and dating scene you know.

 

[creager91]

Just a personal number I guess. It just seems that to me that people tend to get tired of the party and dating scene around this age + or - 2 yers I guess

Some people don't even get into the party and dating scene you know.

Touche, but seeing as how thats where I'm at and my knowledge comes from my friends and my own experiences this is where it comes from, funny thing is only about 4 of my friends are single and they usually act as my wingmen, just about everyone else I know is in a relationship. And trust me, to those of you in relationships I don;t know if your aware or not but when you get lovey dovey and shit infront of single people...its quite awkward

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

I have heard being in a romantic relationship is quite nice. Never been one myself, but I could imagine that it would be nice to have someone who cares about you. While part of what we see as a romantic relationship is just ideas created by popular culture, relationships are good things. Humans are social creatures and long periods without social interaction can have serious effects on their mental state.

OP, it sounds like your in the wrong kind of relationship. If it feels like a hassle it seems like you're trying to have a relationship that you just can't have. That's not to say that it's all your fault, maybe the people you have been with we're really up for a relationship either.

 

[MasterChief892039]

I've been in a relationship with one dude for nearly three years now, and I think it's pretty great. I have a constant source of sex and gaming company, and someone who I can talk to. I'm extremely introverted, meaning I really do not enjoy being in the company of others because I find it uninteresting, stressful and exhausting - therefore a long term monogamous relationship works for me, because I can get all my social needs out of one person.

However, OP, if you find that you enjoy being a "playa" and not getting tied down, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. As long as the women you hook up with know that it's sex with no strings attached (and if you're not some skeevy/manipulative/borderline-rapey "pick up artist"), then all power to you, keep banging those broads and screw anyone who tells you you need to settle down.

Also - if relationships are a waste of money, you're definitely dating the wrong kind of people. In other words, shallow money-grubbers.

 

[Helmutye]

A good relationship will introduce you to new things, help you discover new things, give you new sources of strength, and help you become the kind of person you hope to become. Unfortunately, many people seem to fall for people that do just the opposite--people who pull you away from things you like, make it harder for you to experience new things, sap your strength, and turn you into a cynical and jaded wretch. I'm not sure why this is, but it is undeniable that IT IS!

A good rule of thumb when examining a relationship is whether it has added things to your life or taken them away. If you feel like you are losing things that are important to you, then that relationship is probably not good for you, and should probably end. But you have to be very honest with yourself, because any relationship requires a certain amount of sacrifice--for example, there aren't too many people who will be in a relationship with you while allowing you to continue to have sex with random strangers! If stranger sex is important to you, then you will either have to find a partner who is okay with that, or stay single. There's nothing wrong with being single--it's a perfectly fine lifestyle, and plenty of people would be better off if they didn't succumb to the pressure to settle down. But if stranger sex isn't as important to you as other things, then perhaps it is a reasonable sacrifice to make for stability and deep companionship?

Ultimately, nobody can tell you what is best for you. You have to figure it out for yourself!

 

[LawlessSquirrel]

I read a psychological study a while ago that theorized that people who seek relationships are people that seek to mutually counterbalance weaknesses. For example, you're worried you don't have enough of an income, so you seek out a relationship for financial security. Same for emotional issues or insecurities. Makes sense to me. Pretty much 'love' is just a synergy of two people sating their psychological needs through each other.

Just some food for thought.

I'm in favour of relationships myself. I'm not actively searching for one, but I do desire one, given the right person shows up. I'm an insecure person; I feel I need someone I can confide in on an emotional level.

 

[creager91]

I've been in a relationship with one dude for nearly three years now, and I think it's pretty great. I have a constant source of sex and gaming company, and someone who I can talk to. I'm extremely introverted, meaning I really do not enjoy being in the company of others because I find it uninteresting, stressful and exhausting - therefore a long term monogamous relationship works for me, because I can get all my social needs out of one person.

However, OP, if you find that you enjoy being a "playa" and not getting tied down, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. As long as the women you hook up with know that it's sex with no strings attached (and if you're not some skeevy/manipulative/borderline-rapey "pick up artist"), then all power to you, keep banging those broads and screw anyone who tells you you need to settle down.

Also - if relationships are a waste of money, you're definitely dating the wrong kind of people. In other words, shallow money-grubbers.

Just to clarify i have only ever heard the term pick up artist twice haha once was by a dude who asked me for girl advice and after which he asked me if I was a PUA to which I was like what the hell is a PUA then he said it and the other time was by a dude who i guessed watched me get a girls number in 2 min on my way to class

So pretty sure I'm not one of those since I always stay honest if they ask because why would I dole out personal info otherwise and they all know that Im not likely to commit but its not necessarily 100% out of the question

 

[Hashime]

Well I have zero interest in pursuing a relationship right now. My brain chemistry is far too screwy to even consider one. My view is basically this: Go with the flow. If you are not happy with the idea wait it out, if you want to be a player get to the table, if you want to have a serious relationship do it, but remember the currents will change and you current situation will be undesirable at points. Go with the flow, ride it out, and remember how inconsequential your relationship is to the state of the world.

 

[Ladette]

I'm not sure how to say what I think of relationships. Until my partner told me her affections i'd thought I was content to go through life alone. Something's changed in me since we decided to be together though.

I can't explain it, but when i'm with my love I feel like i'm complete. We're seperate people, and yet we're one. It's a really weird feeling. We're both happier than we've ever been in our lives, and really that's all that matters. We each have someone we know we can depend on, we can trust each other with anything, we'd move heaven and hell for each other.

I'm rambling, and incoherently at that, so i'll quit while i'm still somewhat understandable. Suffice to say, I have someone I see myself spending the rest of my life with.

 

[Catalyst6]

Most relationships fail horribly, half of them are just for sex, the idea of a "soulmate" (one person and only one person being for you) is a lie, if you get married then you're settling (why do you think there's so many hometown sweethearts?), it's all bred out of a social policy to try to keep you from abandoning your kids, it's all hormones.

All that being said, why the hell not? I very much doubt that you're on par with the celibate heroes like Tesla and the like, so I'm betting you have some free time to throw into the ring. Why not give it a shot, then? Do you have something better to be doing?