So , what's the point of being in a relationship.

Socius

New member
Dec 26, 2008
1,114
0
0
Being in a relationship helps you delude yourself to thinking you won't die alone.
As well as giving you the comfort of knowing someone will be there for you when you fall and/or when you require intimecy.
 

Shraggler

New member
Jan 6, 2009
216
0
0
Sniper Team 4 said:
Sounds like your relationship is over if that's how you view it.

You want a science reason? Love. As defined by a certain penguin in a TV show: "Love. A chemical reaction in the brain. Highly addictive." People get addicted to the feeling of being in love--the happiness, the joy, all those other emotions--and it's just like smoking. You can't quit it and people will struggle to keep it.
People also seek validation for their existence. For many people, having someone say, "I love you," makes them feel like they are not worthless. That someone cares about them--even if that same person treats them like crap, beats them, and has less respect for them than they do for themselves.

But those are rather depressing reasons, aren't they? Here's why I want a relationship:

I was in one once. I liked the idea of someone thinking that I meant something to them. Something different than what my brother feels for me, or my parents, or my friends. I liked that she would call me at work just to surprise me. I liked that, on Valentine's Day, she sent me a bunch of balloons because I had told her once that I had never received anything like that on Valentine's Day. I liked that she listened to me, and that I could tell her ANYTHING and she wouldn't care. Things that you don't feel comfortable talking to your friends or family about. I liked when she'd tell me a story about something she saw that reminded her of me. I liked walking, with no place to go, just holding her hand while we walked. I liked making her smile, making her laugh, and taking her mind off of things that made her sad. And when I couldn't do that, I liked being their and just listening to her vent, or hold her while she cried. I liked when she snuggled up under my arm while we watched a movie, and that she giggled when she could hear my heart pounding from the battle scenes in Lord of the Rings. I liked going to sleep knowing that someone cared about me that deeply.

I liked that I was special to someone.

Those are my reasons for being in a relationship. Sadly, I'm no longer in one, but those are the things that made the whole thing worth while. Sappy I know, but it's all true.
I agree with this or at least along these lines, but I want to go a bit further and maybe off in my own tangent based on personal experience and being alive.

For another human being, existing (as far as we can tell) with us in reality, to not only acknowledge your existence but also consider their own augmented or bettered in some way simply due to the fact that you also exist, is a big chunk of it. Your 'being', your personality, your quirks, your appearance, nearly everything about you (save for small grievances/annoyances) appeals to someone else. Another being. Your existence is inherently meaningful to another being.

Furthermore, and this may get a little gross, but to address the physical nature of an intimate, romantic relationship: that person is not only willing, but desires you physically. Your physical presence is necessary and craved. That person is also willing to copulate with you, which is both a deep display of trust and desire. They are willing and want to swap fluids with you. When you embrace to kiss, they press their lips against yours, their tongue pushes past yours as if to taste and savour prior to devouring you. To be craved like that, even in the throes of lust, by another human being would be stupendous, especially if it's someone to whom you're also attracted.

And that's a bit more on the extreme end of the spectrum. Just to be with someone who isn't so physically repulsed by you, but is attracted to you would be incredible. Someone who wants you to hug them and hold them, or just touch them for fuck's sake.

Someone who smiles and beams when they see you, simply because you are.

There's plenty more shit I could cite and expand on, but it's already tl;dr-ey. If it isn't obvious, I haven't ever been in a relationship. Tried a bunch in High School, gave up because it was bullshit and a waste of time. I didn't like the idea of depending solely on another person for happiness. However, at this stage, companionship would be a boost.

To those who cite friends as an acceptable form of "companionship", I suppose that works for you. Personally, I have one true friend, and they live quite a ways a way at the moment.

Everyone else I spend time with I do so mostly because they're closer in proximity. I really can't relate to a lot of them at all: many are married, more are in long-term relationships, a couple have such a narrow-minded view of the world (and generally a closed mind on most subjects) and live in such a small, condensed bubble that it's hard for me to have any real discussions with them that actually progress and go anywhere. Small talk and bullshit is fine around complete strangers, but shouldn't even exist between friends. One thing I can't discuss with these people is music. Easily the most important thing to me, there's just no connection there and I can't talk in-depth about it. So a lot of these people I see as "acquaintances" or "peers" rather than friends because they're just there and I passively know them. They can't hold a candle to the level of companionship described in the paragraphs above.
 

Kevlar Eater

New member
Sep 27, 2009
1,933
0
0
HalloHerrNoob said:
Why do relationships cost money? Are you dating a hooker or what?
From my perspective, until a relationship has been established between the parties involved (intimate, platonic, etc.), courtship could be constituted as prostitution. As typical in a heterosexual setting, the male would be paying for the female's time and attention while proving his worth to her in the hopes of her giving him additional time to lather, rinse and repeat in a hopefully different fashion (first and second dates in a long-winded explanation). Relationships would of course cost money because just about everything costs money, peoples' time and attention included. Plus, the two biggest relationship-destroying reasons are money and infidelity, and love alone can't keep one intact, so in a way, yes, one will need money to keep a relationship going, otherwise it's going to be a miserable experience for the involved parties.
 

xdiesp

New member
Oct 21, 2007
446
0
0
Relationships are more than the sum of their parts, that's why company and guaranteed sex (well, not really...) cannot describe all of them.
 

Tyelcapilu

New member
Mar 19, 2011
93
0
0
I personally believe it's about romantic and/or sexual fulfilment. Kissing or having sex with a stranger does not lead to any form of fulfilment (at least in most people I know). I do not, however, see why people should limit themselves to monoamorous relationships. It really seems to just be an unnecessary social stigma.
 

FirewallCMD

New member
Sep 27, 2010
10
0
0
Call me girly but, my biggest dream has always been to find the person on this earth who I guess will make me whole. Other half, if you will. Cheesy and dramatic sounding I know, but I don't know. It obviously all comes down to personal opinions and feelings. I love the idea of sharing this almost perfect emotional and physical feeling with someone whom I know will be there for the rest of my life.
I guess as I believe someone else has already stated, it kind of fulfills me. I've got lots of love to give, but will always be waiting to find that someone who wants it.
But uhh..
Yeah. That's how I feel.
 

DeltaEdge

New member
May 21, 2010
639
0
0
I don't think relationships are for everyone. You sound like someone who doesn't really need a relationship. I think that the point of relationships is to have people that value you above pretty much all else, and vice versa, along side your family. Basically, to have someone become dedicated to caring for your wellbeing that you do the same for.

I have honestly been rethinking my desire for relationships as well as of late. My expectations have changed as well, for instance, I would want to be with someone who I could be friends with and share many interests with so that way our desire to be together wouldn't be hinged upon attraction/infatuation which I've heard only lasts about 2 years max generally. So basically, if I could find someone to add to my family that I would generally enjoy being around due to similar interests, then that would be my reason for a relationship. I wouldn't want to be in one with anyone just for the sake of being with someone though, as that would just seem silly to be.

tl;dr: It'd be nice to be in a relationship if it isn't dependent solely upon infatuation, we actually had many similar interests and are capable of being good friends outside of the relationship, and we could depend on each other. Otherwise, I don't really see the point either, for myself at least. That being said, I don't really have any particular interest in relationships at the moment, and would vastly prefer a fulfilling friendship to a relationship pretty much any day.
 

Mersadeon

New member
Jun 8, 2010
350
0
0
It's for experiencing mutual love, the feeling that there is one person you can trust with absolute certainty. A person that makes you happy and that you love to make happy.
It's not for everyone, but if you're at the point of asking "why am I doing this?" you should probably stop.
 

taciturnCandid

New member
Dec 1, 2010
363
0
0
Intimacy and love for a partner really can't be substituted.

I mean, some people are okay without it, but for those who aren't, it is an experience and an element that is needed in life
 

Galletea

Inexplicably Awesome
Sep 27, 2008
2,877
0
0
Is there one of these threads every couple of months, or am I just imagining it?
Relationships of the romantic kind are awesome when you have the right person. If it isn't awesome, you're with the wrong person.
 

Charli

New member
Nov 23, 2008
3,445
0
0
To a majority of the population it's the pinnacle of status... Some it is even the goal in life. I guess there are just a percentage out there that don't latch onto that mindset. I'm not really one of those people either. I thrive off friendships. Sex has no baring on my decisions in life and I don't seek it out, and I like my alone time. If I need a hug or some social time I schedule some with my friends. And that fulfills all my needs.

But to alot of people seeking 'the one' or a companion for life is a huge part of existence.

(And don't quote me and go into a big rant about how I don't understand, you're already right, I don't. But I'm happy. So there's no need to convince me of why you think seeking a partner for life is something that needs to happen for someone to be a stable, productive and overall happy member of the human race.)
 

krazykidd

New member
Mar 22, 2008
6,099
0
0
Galletea said:
Is there one of these threads every couple of months, or am I just imagining it?
Relationships of the romantic kind are awesome when you have the right person. If it isn't awesome, you're with the wrong person.
That doesn't answer the question though . I'm asking what the point of relationships is . What are we "seeking" when we enter a relationship .