So you're watching porn...

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

Keep going and then at the climax leap into the air, let go, spin 360 degrees and let loose in their general direction. If I hit all three, yell 'OH BABY A TRIPLE!'

 

[Quellist]

Blink in disbelief and tell them to get the fuck out of my lounge!

Seriously, i'm not gonna get embarrassed by strangers who shouldn't be there in the first place

 

[happyninja42]

First response:

The fuck are you all doing in my house?! Get the fuck out!!

Also, if the Pope tried to make any righteous statements. "Yeah, well considering you are the impotent figure head of an institution that protects and supports pedophiles worldwide, and also peddle a fictional invisible guy in the sky to judge us, so you can make money, I don't really give a flying fuck what you think of me. Clean up your own house and get a real job before you try and act all judgemental at me."

To the President and Julie Andrews. "Seriously why the fuck are the two of you hanging out with him?" *point to the Pope with the hand not currently occupied.*

 

[Pete Oddly]

Is asking for group sex out of the question? I think Obama, the Pope and the sliver fox Julie Andrews would make for a wonderful orgy.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

I'd tell the Pope and possibly the president (president of what exactly?) to kindly GTFO. I'd tell Julie Andrews that she should stay and inquire what she's into.

 

[Varrdy]

I'd tell them to get the fuck out of my house before I rain my acidic jizz upon them and burn the flesh from their perverse, home-invading arses!

Can you tell I've been reading Transmetropolitan again?

 

[EHKOS]

Yell at the president for his inability to help the country, ejaculate onto the Pope's robes because I'm protestant, and then apologize to Julia Andrews that she had to be present for all this.

 

[White Lightning]

Start beating it even more furiously and stare them in the eye.

This is the only correct answer. However you forgot about breathing very heavily and roaring. Other then that, perfect.

And YOU sir, forgot about peeing on them to assert dominance!

Possibly also with some variation on the phrase "Oh, you're my wife now.."

I'm not at the level where I can pee and continue Masturbating. I'd have to settle on pooping all over myself and screeching. Maybe one day...

 

[Padwolf]

Well, the natural thing to do in this situation is just to invite them in, ask them for their suggestions and favourite porn videos and just have a party of it. It would be great.

 

[Gorrath]

I'd launch into a furious academic debate about the merits of the porn in question, why its inherent objectification of the characters involved is perfectly fine and the merits of free access to legally produced porn (not free monetarily) is a good thing for society! I would continue these arguments as if I were engaged in formal debate or giving a lecture, growing ever more passionate about the points in question as I lumbered, privates still-in-hand, toward the invader, at once threatening to overwhelm them with well reasoned arguments or else the frightening image of me jerking it wildly as I orated like the pastor of a Mega-Church on Sunday. Upon their inevitable retreat, I would give chase, following their fleeing form down the street and increasing my volume until it seemed as if the Gods of perversion themselves were given form and I was their avatar!

 

[Flames66]

I would ask them what the fuck they were doing in my house and chase them out with a sword.

 

[its big chope]

I'd stop cranking it but I wouldn't be ashamed because you know those guys do it too

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

I'm not Catholic, but I don't think the Pope would mind considering his latest antics, The President of The US has no sway here but out of respect I might stop(if it's David Cameron though, then I'd immediately switch to some more hardcore stuff just to fuck with him) and I don't care for The Sound of Music.

I guess I'd be okay. That, or I'd just alt-tab and sit cross legged (since my pc faces away from the door and I do my business elsewhere >_>).

"So uh...weird weather today!"

 

[its big chope]

if you're riding a rollercoaster and the person next to you starts jacking off, there's pretty much nothing you can do about it

 

[Mau95]

Complain that they didn't knock. Also, why are they here? Would they like something to drink?

 

[The White Hunter]

So is this a hypothetical or a plea for advice Barbas?

I'd offer them a cup of tea of course.

When I had finished.

 

[Headsprouter]

Well, obviously they came (heh) for a reason, and since they couldn't wait for me to finish and clean up it must be urgent!

So, I turn around, stand erect (heh) and ask "What is it you desire of me? Did Godzilla suddenly start eating white people!?"

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

Ever see Blake Edwards' movie, S.O.B.? Watch it and you'll never think of Julie Andrews the same way again...

 

[Phil the Nervous]

Cover up with the Pope's hat to divert their attention away from the porn.