societal conventions you hate

[Brutal Peanut]

I'm getting really tired of people assuming I must treat my husband like shit, because we were married in our backyard with thirteen people standing around wondering where we bought the food. Or if that things go downhill I must be planning on draining his back account. Or that that was all I ever wanted and I never really loved him. Acting like I am a slave-driver. I was really surprised at what people told me when they found out I was engaged.

Going to be honest by way of QQ: It seriously hurts my feelings. Because I do love him, I married him because he asked me despite my saying that we didn't have to be married to be together, and I treat him as I would want to be treated.

I get it, marriage ISN'T for you (at all) ; but some people (Gay, straight, bi, transgender, spouse + partner(s)- whatever.) still want to and believe it or not, people are happy. Shock & awe!

What irritates me a lot more though, are people asking, "When are you going to have babies?!" I really think they are just asking me to irritate me now. I don't plan on having children - because it's difficult (physically) for me, and honestly, I don't really like them. Us being married does not mean we have to pop out any spawn. If I changed my mind, I'd more then likely adopt. There are a lot of children who already need (and deserve) homes, out there.

*exhales* There, I actually feel a bit better.

 

[Quantom Quak]

When I talk about videogames in public, I hate it when people give me these weird looks. I've had people come up to me while I'm talking about a game and tell me I need to stop playing games and find a more productive use of my time. (Outside of my family/school) It's just really rude and annoying. I don't tell people to stop playing sports and find something productive to do. (Although I should. Anyone have a problem with that?)

On the other hand, I love it when people recognize my LoZ sweatshirt or notice me humming Star Fox. It's great.

 

[gazumped]

My "friends" were the partying type so yeh, we just grew apart then :/

I'm actually looking to not get into a lifetimes worth of debt which is what people in my country are hoping to do now that the student fees are the highest in the world, uni has become the last resort xP

still... makes me sad that the real world is ruled by nepotism, I'm also glad that I dropped out of uni before too long cause I was under the impression a degree meant a well paid job which isn't quite the case anymore ^^' the majority of graduates in my country end up in job training anyway

Yeah, definitely. I mainly went because I didn't really know what else to do with myself, about half of my friends didn't go to uni, many didn't even go to school past 16 but they're all doing fine for themselves. It's a load of bum how much pressure schools put on people to go to uni and make 'em feel bad if they don't.

The UK's fees aren't too bad now, they're going to shoot up to about three times as much the year after next, though. I'm hoping I won't be affected 'cause I'm already on the course but I don't know if the fact I'm taking a sandwich year next year (the only year that I think will really help my job prospects) will keep me safe... Either way I'm going to owe the government about 20 grand by the end. ~_~

 

[Mavinchious Maximus]

why is it that having a stylish beard considered barbaric?

 

[R0cklobster]

I hate it when people rag on others for saying "IMO/IMHO/in my opinion" etc.

 

[rabidmidget]

How people don't wear as much hats anymore, especially the people who dislike people who wear hats.

 

[shaderkul]

Facebook!
Taxes.
Entitled Idiots.
Politicians.
Having to respect the opinion of old people just because their old, even though said person may be incorrigible, illogical, unreasonable, petty and a rude douche-bag.

 

[Oly J]

I'm sure this must have been done before, but, are there any things about the general attitude of society that just piss you off? just curious

just to give an example...

I personally hate when famous musicians die...not because they can't make music anymore but because as soon as a famous musician dies they are made a god in the eyes of society regardless of the public opinion on them in life (this might be attributed to other famous figures too)

Agreeing with OP, but the example Id like to give is Jade Goody. This women was a racist, bigoted idiot, who became famous for being such a HUGE asshole on TV. However as soon as she gets cancer, thousands cry and say, "Oh It's So Targic ", or "jAdE gooDY yUo ArE my Haro!", completely forgetting that she, was in fact, the kind of dumb ***** that lets humainty down. Bring back proper Darwinism, so she could have died a long, long time ago.

/rant

that's an even better example than mine, how the hell didn't I think of that?

I'm sure this must have been done before, but, are there any things about the general attitude of society that just piss you off? just curious

just to give an example...

I personally hate when famous musicians die...not because they can't make music anymore but because as soon as a famous musician dies they are made a god in the eyes of society regardless of the public opinion on them in life (this might be attributed to other famous figures too)

like for instance, before Michael Jackson died all I heard about him was pedophile jokes, left, right and center, now that he's dead he's no longer a dangerous man-child but a great man and tragic figure, "you shouldn't speak ill of the dead" people say, y'know who else died recently? Bin Laden, (I actually think it was kind of a funny coincidence that the US soldiers found Bin Laden about a week after the PSN went down) "crap we can't go online on PS3....I'm bored let's go find Osama" lol

also JOHN LENNON WAS NOT THAT GREAT!!

sorry for the ranting but I'm curious to see if anyone agrees with me about these things or what other societal peeves people have

OP states his opinions as fact.

and you make that assumption just because I don't begin every other sentence by saying the words "in my opinion"

sorry if that seemed a bit confrontational, but you're putting words in my mouth there

I am aware that everything I say on a subject like this is my opinion it goes without saying, and if it goes without saying then why bother saying it?

also I should point out that the Michael Jackson thing was just an example, I'm aware of all the fans he had and still has I was just pointing out how since he died jokes about the whole pedophile thing were suddenly taboo, whether he did it or not is irrelavent

by the way I don't think Ringo was anything special either since you asked

 

[Voodoo_Person]

I havent read past the first page, so sorry if its already been said, but I fucking hate how if you have long hair, or facial hair immediately means you're obviously lazy or unemployable. I dont like how your image comes into play when looking for a job, I understand that you need to look respectable, but only because everyone else does, wouldnt it be a lot easier if companies threw the idea of uniform out the window, and employed people solely on the basis of skills?

Oh and sticking with the long hair thing, no im not gay, and no im not too lazy to get a haircut, I just like having long hair (two things I always get asked)

 

[AwesomeNinjaPowers]

Oooooh a famous person dies. All I can say is meh it happens to everybody just cause they're famous dosen't mean it's any cooler than when non famous people die. When people say I should have respect for the dead I always ask Why? They're dead they don't care. Which is why I'm still making Miceal Jackson jokes XD

 

[Womplord]

The idea that anyone who committed a crime is a worthless sub-human who has no ability for rehabilitation. That after you get out of prison/whatever punishment you should still be treated lower for the rest of your life. People can learn their lesson.

 

[Farseer Lolotea]

So while there is an inconsistency between feminism and chivalry, feminists don't want chivalry, but politeness. There is no inconsistency between feminism and politeness.

Bingo. I'm not sure why more people don't get this.

[Remainder of post redacted. Mind your manners, Lolotea!]

 

[Farseer Lolotea]

Okay, I'd deliberately pulled that response. Looks like someone decided to jump on it anyway.

As for the "being rude doesn't make you right" bit, I managed to be both right and rude. They're independent and not mutually exclusive. Nice try though sister.

Only if by "right" you mean blatantly disingenuous on some topics and outright dismissive on others. But nice try yourself.

And there was more aggression in that last post of yours than in at least the last two of hers.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

Wearing jeans!

Jeans are boring and..... boring. That's all I've got. But I will never wear jeans as long as I have my strength!

May I refer you to the post you made in Nerdishness in Public.

Spoiler

I wear my Tennant trenchcoat in public with no shame

I'm fairly sure that is you, wearing jeans or a jean like substance.

I call Shenanigans! ;P

Either that or I'm really confused.

 

[foolishnun]

Debt, taxes, the sole idea that i have to give money to someone else.

Surely if your in debt then someone has already given money to you?

And taxes? do you like healthcare, schools, infastructure, roads, rubbish collection, etc? Assuming you do, you're gonna have to live with it.

 

[TimeLord]

Wearing jeans!

Jeans are boring and..... boring. That's all I've got. But I will never wear jeans as long as I have my strength!

May I refer you to the post you made in Nerdishness in Public.

Spoiler

I wear my Tennant trenchcoat in public with no shame

I'm fairly sure that is you, wearing jeans or a jean like substance.

I call Shenanigans! ;P

Either that or I'm really confused.

Nope. That's me wearing combats

 

[Catchy Slogan]

*snip*

Nope. That's me wearing combats

Damn. Thought I had you there. I'll get you next time, TimeLord!

 

[CosmicCommander]

- capitalism / greed

I see you're unique- like the other several million who read Noam Chompsky.

This leads me onto a point- Socialist, or Keynesian thought being in the mainstream in academia. I like how the professors peddling it have almost no real world experience, and usually deduct credits from students who contradict them.[footnote]Indoctrinate U- watch it now[/footnote]

Also, how every person I know seems to be "ironic" and "modern" for the sake of it.

Also, how half of women are promiscuous whores, and half of said whores come up with some high-brow, contrived, supposedly "intellectual" bullshit to back them up.

 

[Vault101]

Deceptive Marketing: Food ads should show the product as is it in reality. 80% of game advertising should have to be actual gameplay footage. Clothing should be marketed to the fit and obese alike, etc.

Bias media practices: Why do I have to watch 6 different news stations from different countries on the same topic in order to get a relatively clear picture on the reality of a situation?

Societal Expectations: Why are you only successful in life if you have a well paying job and own a lot of things? Why does your opinions and actions suddenly weigh more? "I always wondered in court why it is because a woman is a prostitute, she has to have bad eyesight" JFK.

- Demonized Nudity
- Laws based on religious beliefs such as those surrounding what constitutes marriage

not nessicarly in regards to game footage

I dont mind them showing off the story thats not a bad thing,


and really its kind of redundant

1. you want game footage youtube/any other game site is a millisecond away

2. hardly anyone buys games on a whim anyway you'll prbably already know the genre and the series and youll probably look up a reveiw or SOMTHING

3.if you bought say dead island or Deus ex 3 only after watching the trailers and decided you didnt like it because of the gameplay....then your an idiot

4. this was somthing on an issue say PS1 era where they would show footage of the cutscenes and FMV and make it out to be actualy gameplay (kinda) but yeah cut scenes are part of the game engine thease days so its not so much an issue

 

[MyFooThurTS]

Spoiler

snip

It's cute when people don't understand any of the things they talk about and then accuse others of being morons.

You assume 'acting like men' is intrinsic. It's not, and you need to learn what the word gender means. Unless you're the worst gay man in the world I assume you've managed to have a functional sexual relationship with another man without having some kind of screaming identity crisis about violating your own masculinity. The term 'acting like a man' is completely meaningless, because there are very few behaviours, none of which can be acceptably done in public, which inherently signify a male position without any kind of social interpretation.

Misandry does not mean what you think. It is not based on a hatred of 'male behaviours', but an essential position that all men perform male behaviours to the detriment of women. Misandrists don't generally go into a raging fit whenever they see a woman in a trouser suit or drinking beer. It is also not the same thing as misogyny because the genders are differentially positioned. This is fucking basic stuff.

The stereotypical misogynist doesn't exist. You're utterly assuming the existence of such a thing despite the complete absence of such in any kind of visual and material culture. Misogyny is not a school of thought, a belief or a conviction. It is almost never used in those terms except in a few extreme and unambiguous cases. Misogyny is a subtext which runs across a wide range of social formations and organizations. Also, if there was such a stereotype you've got it utterly wrong. Misogynists love 'female' behaviours in the traditional sense, because those behaviours generally keep women well confined and controlled within the domestic sphere.

You sit there and whine about how men aren't allowed to be men. What the fuck are you even talking about. If you expect there not to be social consequences for behaving in a certain way because that's 'what men do' then you can fuck right off. If a woman decides that getting married is her duty and she should sit at home squirting out babies because that's what being a woman means, sure, maybe she can, but do you think that doesn't position her or colour the way in which people react to her.

Point one. Drinking beer is not intrinsic to masculinity. Liking cars is not intrinsic to masculinity. Fighting is not intrinsic to masculinity. The world is full of men who don't do these things. You talk about wanting to do what you want, but what you actually want is for everyone to share your conception of what you are and to grant you exemptions from social critique based on that. No, of course they fucking won't. It's the 21st century and you have to take some responsibility for yourself, not sitting there whining about what a man is meant to do and insulting your entire sex in the process. You're allowed to be more complicated than that, and you're deliberately choosing not to be and expecting everyone else to do the same or else they might be 'feminine', forgive me if I'm not impressed.

Point two. 'Being a man' is not something you do on your own. If it was, the fact that women didn't like you 'being a man' wouldn't matter. Being a man only matters if there are women around who share that conception and value it. You're not just asking for the right to 'be a man' in the terms you describe, you're saying that women have an obligation to accept and value that. There is an unspoken assumption of superiority inherent in the state of being a man. When men go to war, it is partly on the assumption of protecting women. When men fight, it is often explicitly or implicitly seen as a competition over who is most fit to possess women. Note the word 'possess' in that sentence. By positioning women in relation to the traits you describe, you also position a degree of power and ownership over them.

Or to be blunt, by essentializing traits you also essentialize the relationships between traits, which are fundamentally very unfair.

Acceptance of people as human beings vs. strategic essentialism of groups based on unequal positions. It's a simple fucking concept.

Herp derp. I honestly didnt think that statement needed sarcasm markers (tyranny of women? COME ON) but apparently it did.

Hyperbole, not sarcasm. Look them up.

Also, even if it was, sarcasm isn't meaningless.

I should probably let this go, doubly so as there's probably no one left in this thread, but, nevertheless, I'm going to bite.

I'll start by talking about things I didn't say;

Firstly, I don't think those stereotypes are accurate and nor do I think the counter-stereotype you offered (in regards to misogynists) is accurate.

Secondly, I never said that either gender should behave in a certain way; I was trying to raise awareness about the discrimination against men who 'act like men' versus their acceptance should they 'act like women' and versus the acceptance of the behavior of women whether it be socially masculine or feminine (I do not think your example of a female stereotype exists in anyone's mind).

Now, getting to it; 'acting like men' is intrinsic. Your genes play a role in your personality; we are not born blank slates. Very few people are naive enough to argue that the difference between the gender personalities is purely social. But nor is that entirely relevant.

I was saying two things; that behaviors are posited under social incompetence by their association with masculinity and that men are discouraged from masculine behaviors (whether or not they are only socially masculine) while women are entitled to act in such a manner without discrimination.
Now I am about to talk about cars and sports again. You can argue that they are not intrinsic to masculinity but, in the interests of keeping on topic, we'll say it's enough to say that they are certainly behaviors more often associated with masculinity. A passion for cars or for sports (in the spectator's context) is most often regarded with contempt, most often regarded as socially under-developed behavior, while a passion for mediums often associated with femininity (fashion, gossip) is most often perceived as synonymous with social competence.

Now, when a woman adopts 'masculine behavior' and when a man adopts 'feminine behavior' mainstream western society will never call into question the social competence of either of these people nor will it do so when a woman adheres to feminine behavior... but, should a man behave in a socially masculine way, they will be confronted with accusations of stupidity, accusations of social incompetence and accusations of barbarianism.

This social concern is an artifact of the tendency for modern idealism to receive media celebration. It is incredibly fashionable to occupy any position that you, in the past, would not have had the right to occupy. In point; it is more fashionable to be a person from an oppressed lineage - heterosexual white males are incredibly unfashionable. Being unfashionable changed, rather suddenly, in social perception, to being rude and to being disrespectful - naturally this lead to indignity amongst the accused, an indignity that was, in many cases, born of arrogance but, in many cases again, entirely justified.

Men are not always disrespected for 'masculine behavior' but they are, at least, encouraged towards more feminine behavior - to have 'a woman's touch' around the flat is one example.
Men are discouraged from acting 'like men' as doing so will present them as having failed to advance socially; as having failed to recognize the 'changing season' of tolerance towards women.

Women are respected; the fact that men can have full-blown arguments about cars and about football teams is not an impediment to this fact. Men, however, are respected only as long as they prove themselves to be one type of man and not another.

P.S. Sorry about the name-calling, buddy, I was just trying to arouse attention.