Someone has put a hit on you...

[Aesir23]

The person most likely to put a hit on me is that Vegetarian who kept trying to make me give up delicious meat, causing me to lose my temper and name my hamburger Carl before proceeding to eat said hamburger in front of them.

What I would do in 30 minutes is fill my living room and kitchen wall to wall with rabbits so that they can't get in without stepping on said rabbits.

 

[CK76]

Stephen Harper.

What? He's the Prime Minister! Of Canada...

Challenge him to match of table top hockey, by their law, they cannot refuse. Like dominoes he falls like a house of cards. Checkmate.

 

[Spectre4802]

Who:
Probably Echelon or some other government organization. They'll order the hit, but wouldn't kill me per se.

What whould I do:
Well, first I'd find a body. If none are availible, I'd kill someone. (I'm going to die, right? Why not?)

Find somebody who will sell me either a Beretta 9mm or a MP5, and provide a scilencer. (Scilencers add +10 awesomness to the weapon. Always.)

Tie him/her to a chair in the middle of an open space, like the lounge. Then, I'd take of his/her shirt and put on another shirt that says 'Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho'.

Hide and wait. Then, when the bastard shows up and sees the shirt, I open fire.


Either that, or I'd rig my house to explode when they shot me. And for that, I'd need some C4.

 

[Commander Jack Rankin]

The mental broad that lied to my bosses and got me in trouble on Halloween.

I would exploit her only weakness, delicious Hostess Fruit Pies!

 

[Christemo]

1. someone who hates me more than all other haters i know combined.

2. wait for the hit behind my door, then knock him out with my dull saber, then execute him with his own gun.

3. take a bus to the *****´s house and murder her sister, dad and set her house on fire. then write a letter to her with the text "OWNED *****".

 

[crimsonshrouds]

somone who wants to kill me... i know all my fans i have let down by not updating my story.

I would probably get myself a shotgun and high tail it.

 

[FalloutJack]

{1} An old friend of 10 years whom I personally broke. He's like top of the list.

{2} Running is never an option. Any place you're exposed, you're finished. Better to stay on the home turf where you know the territory, stockpile EVERYTHING of decent lethality, and prepare to hit a hitman. Don't ever talk, don't even BREATHE loudly. Unload on him as soon as he's in a good killzone and don't sweat the collateral damage. A bullet-ridden floor is better than a bullet-ridden YOU.

 

[UltraParanoia]

1. I can think of about five different people I know who have either threatened to or already tried to kill me. So one of them.

2. Simple, arm the traps in my house, disappear into the appalachians as entailed in Survival Plan #4.

 

[Caligulove]

Gonna have to say this guy I used to work for- I quit to focus on school and he was saying that he really needed people at the time I left. (only one I could see with motive)

If not that, it had to have been the hitman got the wrong guy... not a good hitman

I would be on my bike and off to the airport to get a flight (anywhere)

 

[GrinningManiac]

I would gather up all of my functioning guns, which is quite a lot, take my neigbours car and head for a cabin in the woods some 400 miles up north. Or an army base.

If someone wanted me dead, it's either Finnish communists or some Russians, I have a few connections.

Then I'd get a bike and a weird French girlfriend.

It's a chopper, not a bike.

That's a TASTY[[b/] cookie!

 

[Captain Pancake]

Opeth only brings people together.

As does Liam Neeson...

So.Liam Neeson + Opeth = World Peace?[/quote]

And a bottle of champagne to boot.

 

[Argtee]

1)One of my friends probably put the hit on me.

2)I would play games for 30 minutes until someone tried to kill me.

 

[BonsaiK]

Basically put, one day you wake up, and find that someone wants you dead.

You don't know who, and you have 30 minutes until they find you and try to kill you.

First Question is, if someone put a hit on you, who do you think it would be? *No names, except if it's a person that is well known or major orginization*

Second question is, what would you do in the 30 minutes before they tried to kill you?

For me, I'd probably get a hit called on me, by inadvertedly snubbing this guy who kept asking me for money who looked like something out of MS13.

Secondly, I'd be fueling an airplane, and flying to London. You can't really run from those guys in North America.

Or play the song, "Misirlou" and foolhardly try to attack the hitmen.

I don't need a hypothetical because this sort of happened to me. I had someone threaten to kill me once, and give me a roughly 24 hour timeframe in which to live before he was going to meet me somewhere and kill me.

I dealt with the situation by contacting mutual friends and getting them to cool him down, and also getting advice on how to best defend myself if he went through with his plan. But the time 24 hours had passed and I was ready to meet the guy I was quite prepared. Then he showed up at the pre-arranged meeting point and apologised. Apparently he just got a bit drunk and out of hand the previous night when he phoned in the death threat and couldn't even remember what he said to me when he woke up the next day. Australian assassins, eh?

 

[Spitfire175]

That's a TASTY cookie!

Does that mean I passed the pop culture reference test?

Cheers.

 

[Cpu46]

yea this is pretty much my "If I'm in any sort of danger that I can't deal with on my own plan"

As for my grandma offering them food, it would make a good distraction while everyone else sneaks behind them with assorted blunt (or quite sharp and pointy) weapons.

-cut for sake of post length-

OR!!!!!!

"Grams! I am being hunted down like a dog!"

"Well, then we shall simply have to give those fiends a proper lesson in violence!"

"What?"

"Harold! Get the land mines!"

[from the other rooms]

"Right away dear!"

[you] *gulp*

*They show up*

*bust through the door*

*see your Grams with an AK-47*

"Might I recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God!"

*Unloads on the baddies*

I laughed at this for a while. In all reality it would probably be like this:

*baddies approach house*

*baddies start getting picked off from a distance*

*surviving baddies reach door*

*Surviving baddies open door*

*Surviving baddies piss selves in terror over seeing over 10 people in a 4 foot wide hallway all leveling guns at their head*

*grandma offers them freshly baked cookies OF PAIN*

*no more baddies*

*family enjoys freshly baked cookies*

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

yea this is pretty much my "If I'm in any sort of danger that I can't deal with on my own plan"

As for my grandma offering them food, it would make a good distraction while everyone else sneaks behind them with assorted blunt (or quite sharp and pointy) weapons.

-cut for sake of post length-

OR!!!!!!

"Grams! I am being hunted down like a dog!"

"Well, then we shall simply have to give those fiends a proper lesson in violence!"

"What?"

"Harold! Get the land mines!"

[from the other rooms]

"Right away dear!"

[you] *gulp*

*They show up*

*bust through the door*

*see your Grams with an AK-47*

"Might I recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God!"

*Unloads on the baddies*

I laughed at this for a while. In all reality it would probably be like this:

*baddies approach house*

*baddies start getting picked off from a distance*

*surviving baddies reach door*

*Surviving baddies open door*

*Surviving baddies piss selves in terror over seeing over 10 people in a 4 foot wide hallway all leveling guns at their head*

*grandma offers them freshly baked cookies OF PAIN*

*no more baddies*

*family enjoys freshly baked cookies*

"hello dearies, would you like some cookies? And by cookies I mean BULLETS!?"

*everyone starts firing*

 

[Eatbrainz]

Meh, i'd play some D&D Online, invite the hitman in, offer them tea then take the bullet in the head. might as well be polite when the inevitable happens.

 

[TheZapper]

Wait for the Hitman, and pay him double to kill whomever put the contract on me..

It's either this or sit in the closet crying softly.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

It would have to be a case of mistaken idenity for me to ever draw any heat.

I would get a gun and hide under my bed.