Sonic '06 - Objectively Better Than Portal

[Vegosiux]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

You may have benefited from the lecture I was in on Monday about satire, irony and sarcasm.

Yeah, I'm sorry, no, I refuse to acknowledge sarcasm and satire to be a universal get out of jail free card on the interwebs.

 

[Woodsey]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

You may have benefited from the lecture I was in on Monday about satire, irony and sarcasm.

Yeah, I'm sorry, no, I refuse to acknowledge sarcasm and satire to be a universal get out of jail free card on the interwebs.

Your entire post relies on him being literal when he's clearly not. That makes you flat-out wrong. Whether you refuse to acknowledge it or not is your own problem.

He's mocking other people for saying the shit you're moaning about.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'm still here, waiting for the "objectively" bit to be pointed out and elaborated on. So far, all I've seen was subjective stuff, or rather, you keep talking about why you liked Sonic more than Portal.

Sorry, but at the use of "irrefutably prove" and "objectively" in the OP, I think I will have to let my ol' pal Inigo Montoya do the talking.

You may have benefited from the lecture I was in on Monday about satire, irony and sarcasm.

Yeah, I'm sorry, no, I refuse to acknowledge sarcasm and satire to be a universal get out of jail free card on the interwebs.

You can claim the sky isn't blue all you want.

That doesn't mean it isn't

 

[anthony87]

........I liked Sonic '06.

Yeah I said it! Bring it on!

 

[In Search of Username]

My god this is brilliant. Master troll. Five stars.

 

[Rad Party God]

Sonic '06 is a brilliant achievement. You have truly shown me the light.

I will now proceed to re-watch the bestiality/necrophilia dead Sonic kiss scene over and over again.

Sonic '06 is a brilliant achievement. You have truly shown my the light.

I will now proceed to re-watch the bestiality/necrophilia dead Sonic kiss scene over and over again.

Right?

All this time I thought Sonic 06 was just shit, but now I see that it's better than Portal! Everything I've known was a lie!

Also, that kiss scene? Best romance in a video game ever.

I agree.

Sonic also deals with relationships a lot better than Portal as well.

A romantic relationship between a human woman and a blue hedgehog teaches us that our physical forms are just barriers to something deeper.

Truly, Sonic '06 is the Citizen Kane of this generation.

Oh the sarcasm in this thread, it burns a massive hole through my eyes.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Oh the sarcasm in this thread, it burns a massive hole through my eyes.

No no no, embrace the sarcasm.

Let it run through you, for you know it is right and true.

In this insane world thread only sarcasm can be your savior friend against Sonic 06.

 

[Weaver]

So you're just copying Jim Sterling's "Objectively Better" formula from Destructoid?
Come on, Escapist. I thought you were better than that.

 

[shrekfan246]

So you're just copying Jim Sterling's "Objectively Better" formula from Destructoid?
Come on, Escapist. I thought you were better than that.

Again, I had never seen any of those articles until they were linked earlier in this very thread.

I appreciate the comparison, though, as I find Jim Sterling to be a very funny man.

 

[The White Hunter]

OT: I feel I should mention I put 06' down after 5 minutes of gameplay XD

That long? You sir are a courageous man.

I managed to drag my arse through Silver's story because when it was broken, you could work around it by breaking the game more. The other two were just broken.

The memories of the bestiality/necro scene just came flooding back. I'm gonna go weep in the corner with my Sonic plushy for a while I think. (or, y'know, I could play Colours again...)

But anyway, OT: And thus raw logic has been proven to be the solution to all! Huzzah!

 

[infinity_turtles]

All I want to know is how can anyone miss that this is satire. It's ridiculously blatant. The first paragraph starts with the OP talking about how they realized other people think these things are good qualities, no that they think they are. The sarcasm was telegraphed from like a mile away.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Sonic 06. I remember I got it the week same I got my PS3. Want to know what I thought of it?

 

[Risingblade]

Sonic 06 definitely brought up stronger feelings in me than portal

 

[Cpu46]

The only good thing to come from that game was the main theme and remixes of that said theme with other sonic main themes.

 

[Nieroshai]

My objection is simple: BUT NO ONE HATES PORTAL.

Quantify and chart variables all you want, you apparently can't see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch (to beat a dead commercial horse).

 

[CplDustov]

An impressive refutation, signifying nothing.

The average internet denizen's reading comprehension is circling the drain at this point. ;__;

I had a little spare time and hadn't argued in a while. I needed my fix anyway. but thank you

 

[Jimmy T. Malice]

Sonic '06 is so amazing that people say it's bad because they're jealous that every other game is objectively worse.

/sarcasm

 

[Laughing Man]

These are things that many people like to complain are prevalent in "modern" games. Taking those complaints, I've matched them up to two separate games to see how they hold up. Examining each title closely, one clearly comes out as being superior to the other.

Would be funny if the statements were taken in a broader context of a game that you have bought at full retail price. Complaints are valid when you have shelled out £40 for them. Portal was never a full price game, it was something you just happened to get as part of the Orange Box, you paid to get HL2 and the Episodes you just happened to get this wonderful addition for next to nothing.

If you had wanted it to be a bit more valid then perhaps using Portal 2 would have been a better choice but I am guessing that a lot of the very carefully selected highlight 'points' wouldn't hold up as well.

At the time you got Portal for next to nothing. The question is, the arguments levelled at it, do they hold water for a game that cost you nearly nothing and in the broader scope would the complaints you have levelled be valid when comparing ANY game you paid next to nothing for against a game that you paid full retail?