Spongebob Not Good Enough For Ohio Cemetery

[-Dragmire-]

I'm sorry but I don't agree with that rational and I don't think your home example fits. I personally don't mind the condition of other people's homes. As much as it might affect property value, I have no right or authority over what other people do with their property.

I do agree that the cemetery is at fault though as this should have been covered before the tombstone was placed.

So let me get this straight,... you admit that you have no right to dictate what someone else does to their property, but you grant them to right to change your property? How very, very odd.

You need to remember that the freedom to swing your arms around stops three inches (four in some laws) from someone elses face.

... K, you lost me. I grant them the right to change my property? There is no direct altering of property, they didn't vandalize my home. I don't consider my property value change as a result of others doing what they will with their own property as my responsibility. It can be frustrating to have neighbors like that which is unfortunate, that's all.

 

[cookyy2k]

There are two sides to this really:

The rational: an employee made a mistake at the graveyard, they're being more than fair by offering to pay for both stones, it doesn't really fit in with a graveyard etc.

and

The emotional: the poor family, ex service person, it was what they wanted etc.

As usual I'm siding with the rational. Death is an emotive subject to some people as is the army it was always going to become an argument. The analogies already posted in this thread which remove those emotional triggers are apt, the people calling them not equivalent are pretty much admitting it is simply an emotional reaction.

 

[Stu35]

Yeah I'm with the Cemetery on this on. This is and old and historic cemetery with a lot of reputation and dignity to uphold. If the family wants the sponge bob tombstone then by all means let them have it, in another cemetery. The cemetery is also privately owned I believe so they have every right to have the stone taken down. Frankly I find the tombstone really distasteful and would hate to see it near the grave of any of my loved ones

This.

I see a lot of people empathising with the family who want the garish tombstone, but what of the other families who visit the remains of their loved ones? Are they not entitled to the dignified, sombre place of reverence they wanted when they put their corpse in the ground?

Personally, and a little off topic, I find the reverence that society shows for dead bodies baffling, and I'd be all for mandatory organ donation (where usable organs can be harvested) and cremation for all... As I say though, a little off-topic, and one which leans heavily on my own lack of religious beliefs (and lack of respect for anybody elses religious beliefs).

 

[Muspelheim]

Perhaps they could put up a little tent around it? Or some enclosure? Could look rather pretty, couldn't it?

 

[major_chaos]

Ironic that her headstone was a burger chef and she was apparently killed by a condiment (Mayo).
Still, I'm sure Kim wouldn't have wanted to make every feel so Kraby for her sake.

Too soon.

OT:
I'm torn about this. On one hand it seems better to respect the wishes of the family, but on the other hand I'm willing to bet they would receive complaints from other families if they left the spongebob stone up, so its an ugly situation. I think the one thing we can all agree on here is that whoever killed this woman needs to end up in prison for a very long time.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

maybe if it was a lot smaller headstone.

either way, it was approved so they should be refunded if it is removed

 

[Infernal Lawyer]

So if I understand it, the graveyard accepted the gravestone, with the appropriate signing of documents and money passing hands and whatnot, and then they shat themselves from complaints and demolished it without the family's knowledge?

Okay. They done goofed. Seriously, NOONE thought that it might be a bad idea to have the thing? I personally think it looks awful, but you don't just sign a deal and take people's money, and then go back on it without warning just because third parties have a problem with it. Much less when passed loved ones are concerned. Those other families could wait until they arranged a compromise instead of being so selfish and demanding it had to be demolished right away.

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

So if I understand it, the graveyard accepted the gravestone, with the appropriate signing of documents and money passing hands and whatnot, and then they shat themselves from complaints and demolished it without the family's knowledge?

Okay. They done goofed. Seriously, NOONE thought that it might be a bad idea to have the thing? I personally think it looks awful, but you don't just sign a deal and take people's money, and then go back on it without warning just because third parties have a problem with it. Much less when passed loved ones are concerned. Those other families could wait until they arranged a compromise instead of being so selfish and demanding it had to be demolished right away.

1)We don't know the whole story, for all we know they just said we would like a spongebob character as the head stone. But didn't know it would be that big

2)The cemetery said they would refund the head stone and pay for a new one (if i read the article right), so no one is screwing anyone over. The family is displeased they can't put what they want their.

 

[Ravage]

My question is this... Is this what the fallen vet wanted? Or the family? If it's NOT what the vet wanted, the family has no place desecrating her final resting place. If it's what she wanted, then it's a different story. I mean, if it meant a big deal to the family, put a charm or something on her grave representing the cartoon, but don't shape her grave that of her "favorite" cartoon character.

 

[Deshin]

Yes, cuz the dead really care about their image. If yhou had an issue with it, you should of said something before they put the damn tombstone up, now you're making the family deal with the burial process even longer than they should and prolonging a painful experience.

Nobody wants to bury their child. Its the most horrible thing a parent can live with. Don't compouind it with your damn bullshit about preserving dignity and whatnot.

Child what? The deceased is a three tour Iraqi war veteran...

OT: It's just tasteless, if it was a little one or an engraving then sure no problem but that thing is HUGE. Plus as was said if someone doesn't know which character it is they'd assume the holes are bulletholes. They should have really known better tbh.

 

[orangeapples]

I think the family is being selfish and aren't thinking about the message this would send to the kids. Any kids having to be in the cemetery would also have to be distraught over the idea that Spongebob is dead.

 

[frizzlebyte]

Of course saner and rational heads would realize this is an easy compromise. Regilar headstone, with a reliefed Spongebob engraving.

Wow, that is a perfect solution. You need to be in the funeral-directing business, because I figure this is not going to happen for this family.

Sad all the way around, especially that it got to this point before they (understandably) pulled the plug. That's got to be devastating on top of everything else.

 

[emeraldrafael]

On the one hand I agree with the cemetery taking it down cause it is a historic cemetery and you its not like you would go to DC and suddenly see a master chief plot standing in Arlington or anyhting.

... on the other, it is the wishes of the family, and it should be honored, although unless otherwise specially stated in the will I dont think they can hold tight against that.

I think in the end, the cemetery should have said at the start, this is a historic cemetery, we can't put spongebob there, we have standards. not waited till it was all done and the body in the ground to say they couldn't. I mean, I cant think of many ways a spongebob statue would look dignified ina cemetery before I put it on the ground.

EDIT:

I say that people in the Ohio area should "Sponge Bob" bomb the cemetery with every kind of Sponge Bob knick knack they can get their hands on until these pretentious wankers allow the original tombstone. Historical significance my bum, these assholes are just scared that they might lose some plot sales.

The plots were paid for, the headstone was approved. I say either the cemetery backs the fuck off OR they give the family their money back and foot the bill to have these poor people's daughter relocated to a cemetery not run by effete stuffed-shirted jackasses.

Yes let's just put tacky objects all over the graveyard with other people buried there, no need to care if you don't respect their opinions I mean why would anyone be unhappy that there loved ones grave is being disgraced just so someone can have their creepy personal tombstone. It looks horrible I would hate to have anyone of my family buried next to that thing just imagining visiting their grave with that there makes me feel sick.
Though I do agree that the cemetery needs to re-compensate the family completely for the tombstone and should try to have a tombstone made with sponge bob etched in it or a plaque with him on it

NO. Putting tacky and annoying, YET easily removable, objects around the cemetery as a form of protest does not count as desecration in my book. Spray painting, urinating and/or defecating upon, and kicking over headstones however would. And oddly enough so does forcing a family to remove their chosen headstone for a beloved family member.

...

It's still poor judgement and taste to put spongebob knick knacks on peoples graves that arent related to this at all, even if they are easily removeable. I cant imagine the families of those people would enjoy having to go out and see somoene left a children's show toy on their family member's plot and would probably just turn more public opinion against them. It's just an inconvenience to everyone at that point more than it is sending a message.

 

[Sarge034]

When you move into most communities there's a home owner's association or committee that see to such things. If your property becomes an eyesore and your neighbors are in agreement of that legal action can be brought against you (depending on your state).

And thankfully I don't live in one of those communities. If I pay for the property then it is mine to do with what I will. If the neighbors don't like it, they can put up a privacy fence.

Same goes for this story. The family paid for the plots and approved the designs beforehand. The contract was signed, money changed hands, and it became a legally binding agreement. I would sue the fuck outta this cemetery for breach of contract and "pain and suffering" just to fuck 'em up more. God I hope the family does not just roll over and take this.

Also, "Cemeteries act as memorials to the past, and they offer a unique view of our history, culture, and way of life," Spring Grove claims on its site. For better, or worse, is SpongeBob not going to be remembered in our history? Is it not part of our culture? I'm sure the church was up in arms when headstones stopped being crosses, but look at them now...

 

[Sarge034]

There are two sides to this really:

The rational: an employee made a mistake at the graveyard, they're being more than fair by offering to pay for both stones, it doesn't really fit in with a graveyard etc.

and

The emotional: the poor family, ex service person, it was what they wanted etc.

As usual I'm siding with the rational. Death is an emotive subject to some people as is the army it was always going to become an argument. The analogies already posted in this thread which remove those emotional triggers are apt, the people calling them not equivalent are pretty much admitting it is simply an emotional reaction.

Ok let's remove the emotional triggers. The family paid for the plots and approved the designs beforehand. The contract was signed, money changed hands, and it became a legally binding agreement. In contract law you have some wiggle room if money has not changed hands yet, but the story makes it sound like everything was paid for. So legally the cemetery must comply with the contract of risk being sued over breach of contract.

Don't try to make it out like there is no rational to the "emotional" or "family's side". It just shows your bias.

 

[Some_weirdGuy]

My bet was the headstone was approved under the assumption that it would be a carving on a regular headstone or a much much smaller statuette, then when they saw this thing at real size very quickly realised how wrong that (otherwise very reasonable) assumption was.


Either way, seems to be a few facts being confused here, so to hopefully clarify;

1. they are not a child, they are a 3 tour war veteran and it is a war vet's graveyard
2. the deceased didn't pick the headstone for them self, their family did it.
3. the cemetery offered to pay for the original tombstone and pay for it's replacement, so it's not a case of 'well they were happy to take their money and now they're just being asses'.


I realise people are feeling like the family has been hard done but but really... they are indeed being kinda selfish and definitely distasteful by sticking something so gaudy in a cemetery shared by others, let alone a veterans one, even if the cemetery initially(accidentally) approved.
Many see/treat cemeteries as respectful solemn places, so as numerous people here already pointed out it would be a simple task to have a more regular tombstone with this image as a engraving, or to shrink down it's size, so that it remains respectful to those around(who have just as much right to have their love one laid to rest how they want, including not being buried near a rather unfortunate sponge-bob rendition.)

If the situation was reversed, the cultural majority having whacky cartoon character tomb stones as their way of showing respect, and someone decided they were just going to have a rectangular shape headstone with just some writing, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that would/could be seen as disrespectful, and be treated similarly to what happened here.

 

[Ympulse]

Think of it this way. You're a home owner, you have a nice little house and yard in the duburbs in a nice neighborhood. Then one day your get a new neighbor that believes cutting grass is opressive and allows his lawn and weeds to grow as nature intended, he also believes that his hows should be painted in a manner akin to the face of a clown. You would not be a very happy person would you?

Is that some.. culture-specific thing? Is there a certain law in your country that dictates how your front yard should look like? Because I myself couldn't care less about the look of someone else's private property. No offence, I'm just curious.

When it negatively affects the value of your home, you do care. Outside appearance (or curb appeal, I think is the term) dictates the vale of a home immensely, and if the johnsons net door decided to not mow their lawn and have a bozo the clown motif for their paint scheme, you can bet your ass the value of your home is going to drop by a not insignificant amount.

 

[RicoADF]

Think of it this way. You're a home owner, you have a nice little house and yard in the duburbs in a nice neighborhood. Then one day your get a new neighbor that believes cutting grass is opressive and allows his lawn and weeds to grow as nature intended, he also believes that his hows should be painted in a manner akin to the face of a clown. You would not be a very happy person would you?

Is that some.. culture-specific thing? Is there a certain law in your country that dictates how your front yard should look like? Because I myself couldn't care less about the look of someone else's private property. No offence, I'm just curious.

That is how it works in the US. You can get fined and such for not keeping your property up to code and regulations and looking good. It effects property value. If your property doesn't look nice and well kept, that lowers the value of it, as well as the properties surrounding it, because when it comes to a time when a neighbor wants to sell their house and move, it could be hard to sell their house because they have a neighbor next to them that doesn't have a nice looking property and makes the place look bad, which will make some prospective buyers say no, or at least say that they should pay less for having to live next to an untidy neighbor.

I actually remember a few months ago that a coworker said that a guy he knew got a visit from the police and they told him he needed to mow his lawn and clean up his property, or he would start getting fined for every set number days that he didn't comply.

I'm glad I don't live in the US then, its no-one else's right to tell you what to do in your own home/property.

 

[thethird0611]

Honestly, I think it is a stupid idea not to work with the cemetary to find something more appropriate.

The people who support the family keep saying "They can do it, they bought it, they should respect their wishes...". Well a few small things first. The cemetery owners have the final say, and there are rules, just like an HOA.

Now onto my big point.

Have you -ever- been really sad and someone tries to cheer you up? It never really works that well (and if you did, thats great for you, but the normal cycle of grief doesnt work like that.). It is HIGHLY disrespectful to put that image up in a graveyard where MANY other families are going to be grieving for their passed loved ones, and grief needs to have room to breath, not bothered because someone really need a statue of sponge bob that tends to draw peoples eyes. If it was engraved into the tombstone I can understand, but the statue is just not fair for any other people who are trying to express their grief in a healthy way.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

Cemeteries are stupid. All that land being used to plant dead people. It's just social conditioning. Why can't people just cremate their dead and keep their ashes in an urn if they really want to preserve their dead?