Stolen Pixels #241: The Gaming Afterlife

[Doug]

Cut scenes are made by Square Enix? Nono, in heaven, cut scenes are made by Blizzard.

I have to admit, I did think that square enix cutscenes aren't that good - they look too fakey to my eye, and there is something dead in the eyes of all the characters in them. Perhaps its the uncanny valley problem.

 

[plunderbunny]

Really funny comic - loved it! XD

 

[MooseHowl]

That has to be one of the best comics I've ever seen. So very funny and so very, very true.

[Renegade Interrupt] (Punch yourself in the dick)

 

[Slavik_91]

That has to be one of the best comics I've ever seen. So very funny and so very, very true.

[Renegade Interrupt] (Punch yourself in the dick)

That sounds more like the paragon option, save him the effort
the Renegade option would be to shoot mr puncher on the balls DD

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

OT: Oh, and the gameplay and multiplayer is done by Free Radical, the guys who made Timesplitters.

This a million times over!

OT: Great comic Shamus. I had as a matter of fact heard of that old joke and this spin on it is great. I'll be sharing this one with friends

 

[Skorpyo]

Excellent!

The "In Hell" part made me laugh harder than "The Battle of LOLOLOLOL".

Keep it up, it's definitely improving.

 

[Ivan Torres]

Even though its a european saying, I would say that in Heaven the military equipment is made by the U.S. and the technology is designed by Japan.

What's the use of military equipment when you're in Heaven?

I. Don't. Know....

 

[Sucal]

You forgot that in hell, they are Marketed by Peter Molyneux

What on earth does he do in heaven, then?

Think up new features, ones that hes forbidden from talking about until the dev team actually gets them working as he says they will.

 

[MooseHowl]

That has to be one of the best comics I've ever seen. So very funny and so very, very true.

[Renegade Interrupt] (Punch yourself in the dick)

That sounds more like the paragon option, save him the effort
the Renegade option would be to shoot mr puncher on the balls DD

Paragon does it to save the puncher the effort.
Renegade does it because limp-wristed fools who pull their punches can't be trusted to do the job properly.

 

[Drejer43]

I've never been to Europe, so for me the joke is as true as the European stereotypes on which it's based. But I like the symmetry of it.

Don't worry, it's pretty much true.

 

[thermo1]

Its funny because its true!

"The stories are written by SQUARE ENIX"

"Hi I am an underwater football player created by ghosts who travels through time to fight my dad who has become satan"

That part of the comic actually made me laugh out loud! I usually smirk or just grin but that one got me laughing out loud and as its 4am here i might have woken somebody up! I really enjoyed your comic today.

Cheers!

 

[Dommyboy]

I still thought NV was tested by Bethesda, not Obsid.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I actually had to desperately stifle a laugh as I did not want to wake my roommate. But the "Can I punch you in the dick" part was hilarious. I laughed just thinking about it to type that sentence.

 

[Vetinarii]

What? we have Greggs, steak pies, and invented the Fish and Chip shop!

*storms off angrily*

You don't like Meat Pies? Cornish Pasties? Haggis? Scotch Egg? Fish and Chips? Yorkshire pudding? Sunday Roast? Eel Pie? Steak and Kidney Pie? Really bad Curry?

Oh yeah I see what you mean.

And especially the french lovers...

Well, I suppose I could have gone for better restaurants during my travels in England.
Unfortunately I was on school trips, and eating fish and chips only for one week straight leaves a REALLY bad impression of the local food

Oh Gawd school trips. No. Erm the examples were jokes. Our food is bad except the food we stole from other countries (though not scotland they are as bad as us).

 

[tetron]

Haha pretty nice. I loved how Bioware was best/worst dialogue, it's so true.

 

[Rakkana]

That was brilliant.

But I still love square enix's stories. ^-^

 

[Warachia]

here, I diffuse all of your arguments.

Spoiler

If you choose to let the queen live, you DO inform the council and let them deal with it, unless you somehow missed that cutscene that happens almost immediately after, you work for cerberus because it was a splinter group that tested the thresher maws, a splinter group that was destroyed in ME 1, This one is your personal opinion, just make up your own reason, and lastly, what undeniable proof? They believe Sovereign to be a geth warship, seeing people turn into something similar in appearance to geth doesn't help your case, and a geth vouching for you makes you look bad.

And my rebuttle.

Spoiler

Both options for letting the queen live involve you releasing her into the wild. You can't just leave her in the cage, then contact the council. You have to release her, or kill her. There are options between "release a potentially dangerous alien into the wild" and "kill potentially dangerous alien, causing genocide of an entire race". You contact the council after you release/exterminate it. I'd have chosen to leave it in its cage, then contact the council. A perfectly logical option that you do not have for some reason.

Even if it was a splinter group, why couldn't I at least talk about it with the Illusive Man. This is the reason my Shepard is what he is, the reason he makes the choices he makes, the single most defining moment of his life. There should at least me an option to talk about the event which turned Shepard into either an asshole or an unwavering hero.

And about the Reaper proof, you find reaper artifacts on many other worlds, Sovereign was far more advanced then anything the Geth have, and the Geth even state he's a Reaper. And that brings up another point. You'd think they would want to question or interview the Geth, and here you are with a prime candidate for that, and all they do is just pass it off with one sentence? The fuck is with that? I guess they're cool with having a Geth, and the Geth attacked the Citidel remember, just walking around with you.

"also, would you rather not have any choice? I'm fine with picking an option out of three to six, but with bioware, people complain if their games aren't plated with diamond studded platinum casing. Why do we hold them to a much higher standard than everyone else?"

All we want are more choices other then pure black/white choices. And choices that aren't the same choice but phrased differently, thats just the illusion of choice.

Spoiler

the rachni queen has been shown capable of manipulating other species, who knows what it could've done with all of those dying asari commandos, also, if you left it in the cage, then contacted the council, they would have killed it, no questions asked.

Actually, I chose that background and was able to talk with the illusive man about it, he claimed to know nothing of the splinter group, and would have ordered miranda to kill them all if your buddy didn't do it in the first place, the cutscene is a little easy to miss, just antagonize the illusive man and you'll be talking about it.

Don't forget, the council have no idea how advanced the geth are, if you read the codex on ships you'll see they replicated sovreigns guns in less than two years, so it would not be hard to believe the geth couldn't create them, and the reaper artifacts you ffind they believe to be prothean, like the mass relays.

lastly, a lot of choices are black and white, or shades of gray phrased differently. For example, destroying the collector station, if you had an option to give it to the alliance, many of the highest ranking alliance members are pro cerberus, and cerburus could claim it was their discovery, if you tried giving it to the council, cerberus would claim it was a human find, and also theirs, not to mention, cerberus engineers are the only ones who know how to get to the station in the first place.

EDIT: A little hlpful advice, hit preview and proof read things so that you don't screw up spoilers and quotes, I've fixed those here for you.

 

[Warachia]

also, would you rather not have any choice? I'm fine with picking an option out of three to six, but with bioware, people complain if their games aren't plated with diamond studded platinum casing. Why do we hold them to a much higher standard than everyone else?

First off, I love Bioware games and I am not coming here to bash them.

I loved ME, but my biggest problem with the ME dialogue was the moral choice system. In my first play through there were times that I felt a choice I made shouldn't given me renegade or paragon points. I think this point is well illustrated by Shamus' response in this forum.

-snip-
Great comic all around Shamus! (I myself would have gone with "only a little" to the ball-punching question, though.)

Renegade!

I am not complaining about Mass Effect overall. It is one of my favorite games, and is definitely one of my favorite stories.

I never saw it as a moral choice system, as even on my first playthrough I was able to max out both, a moral choice is where you are stuck on one side or the other, this system is more helps others, helps self, with no forcing to either side. Also, it warns you when you are going to get renegade points, like forcing somebody to do something against their will, or going on personal unauthorised missions, even if it is to kill crime bosses.

 

[WaderiAAA]

Thanks for reminding me about that verse, I love it. Also, your gaming equivalent was hilarius, particularly the parody on Capcom's cut-scenes.

Personally I'd probably thrown in Nintendo, being in charge of the level design in Heaven and the voice-acting in hell

 

[storne]

so hey, since were all minecraft fans here, i'll just put this here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaXS-Ods5gk&feature=player_embedded