Stolen Pixels #241: The Gaming Afterlife
- Thread starter Shamus Young
- Start date
This is great! Props Shamus for the extra funny comic today.
Commander Shepard, can I punch you in the dick? Sure thing!
Commander Shepard, can I punch you in the dick? Sure thing!
He was taking a jab at the Dialog Tree, or in the case of mass Effect 2, the Dialog Wheel.Jandau said:
Despite there being three answer choices, end result is getting punched in the nuts. For all the great voice acting, when it comes to choices, there really is not right answer to taking a left hook to the jewels.
No joke! May have been my favorite Stolen Pixels EVER! This is absolutely hysterical!Revelo said:
One of the best stolen pixels for a good long time...
(And as an Englishman, I can confirm our cooking is bland, especially compared to Italian cooking)
(And as an Englishman, I can confirm our cooking is bland, especially compared to Italian cooking)
Some of their choice options are stupid as all hell. Sometimes you can't even choose if you want to do something or not, but only how much you want to do something. And sometimes they just drop the ball and make you go "what the fuck Bioware?"Jandau said:
Examples(SPOILERS!)
- The Rachni queen: Release a potentially dangerous animal who's kind nearly killed everyone into the wild or kill an entire species. The logical choice would be to alert the council and let them deal with it.
- The start of ME2: Why would you work for Cerberus? In the first game they're set up as evil, vile assholes who are responsible for releasing Thresher Maws on a human colony. And as my Shepard had the "sole survivor" background, that Thresher Maw moment was most likely THE defining moment in his life, the reason he is what he is today. And you don't even get the option to ask why the hell he did it. He just goes on with the conversation with the Illusive Man, the man responsible for it all mind you, like nothing ever happened.
- The end of ME2: Destroy the station or give it to the Illusive Man. Ok, both have their pro's and cons. But when you choose to destroy it, out of all the great reasons for why you should destroy it, Shepard picks the dumbest, most cliché answer he can. "I won't let fear compromise who I am". Really? You pick that instead of all the other great reasons for blowing it up?
- The Council: Especially in ME2. You saved their lives, you gave them undeniable proof that the Reapers exist, hell you have your own Geth that tells them "it was not Geth technology", and they still deny everything. Despite all you proofed, despite all the struggles you went through, they still won't believe anything you say. Even after you save their ungrateful asses.
- The start of ME2: Why would you work for Cerberus? In the first game they're set up as evil, vile assholes who are responsible for releasing Thresher Maws on a human colony. And as my Shepard had the "sole survivor" background, that Thresher Maw moment was most likely THE defining moment in his life, the reason he is what he is today. And you don't even get the option to ask why the hell he did it. He just goes on with the conversation with the Illusive Man, the man responsible for it all mind you, like nothing ever happened.
- The end of ME2: Destroy the station or give it to the Illusive Man. Ok, both have their pro's and cons. But when you choose to destroy it, out of all the great reasons for why you should destroy it, Shepard picks the dumbest, most cliché answer he can. "I won't let fear compromise who I am". Really? You pick that instead of all the other great reasons for blowing it up?
- The Council: Especially in ME2. You saved their lives, you gave them undeniable proof that the Reapers exist, hell you have your own Geth that tells them "it was not Geth technology", and they still deny everything. Despite all you proofed, despite all the struggles you went through, they still won't believe anything you say. Even after you save their ungrateful asses.
OT: Oh, and the gameplay and multiplayer is done by Free Radical, the guys who made Timesplitters.
As funny as reusing Bioware there, I'd replace both Obsidian and Bioware with Bethesda in the Hell comic. But it'd be less fun I guess.
Being an Italian, and having travelled my share of Europe, I can assure you Shamus that all the stereotypes are true 
Ain't that the truth.
Also "Commander Shepard, can I punch you in the dick?" made me laugh a lot.
Wait... you used Bioware twice. Is that some kind of stealth pun on them reusing their own character archetypes over and over again?
Nice.
Also "Commander Shepard, can I punch you in the dick?" made me laugh a lot.
Wait... you used Bioware twice. Is that some kind of stealth pun on them reusing their own character archetypes over and over again?
Nice.