Stuff you thought when you were a Kid

[pastrami05]

My mom told me not to push the call flight attendant button above the seat on an airplane.
So I naturally assumed that if I pushed it the flight attendant would come with a glass of poison and make me drink it. As a result, whenever I turned the light on or off or adjusted with the fan, I was very, very, careful not to get anywhere near that button.

 

[bojackx]

I can't think of any good ones, but I couldn't grasp that 15 + 15 = 30 until I was like 7. I couldn't understand how two numbers could make 30 unless one of them had a 2 at the start (e.g. 20 + 10). I just thought it was 25.

 

[CAPTCHA]

I got a splinter under my little finger when I was young and thought I was going to have to have it amputated. That didn't bother me though because if it was removed it would be replaced with a robotic finger (standard procedure really) and that I could then use it to dominate all around me at arm wrestling.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I thought the world was built to not hurt us. As in cars would stop before they hit someone and every cliff had a guardrail.

I believed that clouds were really snow in the sky.

I thought you could turn off the tv by blowing hard on the screen.
I feel this one needs some explanation. My grandpa started this by saying you could then made me blow over and over till I nearly passed out. Finally he would turn off the tv using the remote behind my back so it appeared I "blew out" the tv.

I thought the food restaurants "Taco Bell" and "Taco John" were brothers. John Bell and his brother made a restaurant then got into a fight and split.
My Dad told me this... he told me lots of things.

I believed the ninja turtles were real and tried to open a sewer cap to go find them.

I ate a watermelon seed and thought it was going to grow till it exploded. It didn't help that I saw the Rugrats episode and my parents kept teasing me about it.

I thought monarch butterflies ignited in flames to deter predators when they felt threatened. It was because of an old children's cartoon show Mia the Bee. The intro you see a monarch butterfly get engulfed in flames.

 

[imnot]

I used to think all of earths surface was city, DESPITE living in a village in the middle of country side.
So basicaly I thought Earth was coruscant.

 

[FamoFunk]

I thought actors died in real life when they died on the screen.

I though people on live TV could actually see me.

And (this one is one of my Brothers fault, he convinced me and I believed it) that on programmes like Cow and Chicken when Mum and Dad were only half on the screen, if I went right up to the TV and looked up I could actually see their faces.

 

[Ramith]

NHL Blades of Steel video game had a Stanley Cup mode.

I never wanted to play it, because I was convinced if I lost I would have to wait another year to play the mode.

So I did play it one day, lost, but cleverly reset the console before the other team got the Stanley Cup.

 

[C2Ultima]

I thought that when people said "Jeez" (short for Jesus) in anger or exasperation, they were actually saying "cheese". I started saying 'cheese' when I was exasperated as well.

 

[Malty Milk Whistle]

I thought that whenever i flushed the toilet, the noise it makes was a monster eating it....so i always ran out the bathroom when i flushed!

Also i believed that the little holes in swimming pools were where barracudas and piranhas came out whenever someone pressed "The Button"

 

[Patrick Buck]

I had some sort of "Shrodinger's cat" theory, but I can't rememeber what it was.
And thats the one I'm going to post, because I was 4 at the time, and it'll make me look SMURT!

 

[Thistlehart]

Oh, you want weird, eh? Okay.

Because of Disney's Bambi (and the rather uninspired character design) I thought women got pregnant by being shot.

This was because I never registered that the doe at the end of the movie was Bambi's lady friend. I always thought it was his mother. Don't know why.

Luckily, I happened to know (also from watching movies) that when people got shot, they died or were really hurt. So I sort of understood that I had the wrong idea, but I couldn't figure out where the logic failed.

 

[HimochiIsAwesome]

I had this tshirt with a picture of a video game character on it (I can't remember who it was), and I believed that it was like a Harry Potter picture, and the person could see and hear everything.
I ended up talking to it, covering it up when I did something embrassasing, and I even think I used to take it off when I went to the bathroom.
The parents quickly forced that habit out of me.

 

[CobraX]

I thought when actors ( i knew they were act ) on tv died , they died for real . So i thought that when some guy got shot and died , he was asked before lhand if he wanted to die and he said yes .

Edit: so basically i was always afraid of watching a tv show where someone died ( my mom watches soap operas like crazy) i thought i was witnessing an actual murder.

THIS. Exactly this, I thought that when an Actor died in a Show or a Movie that they had died for real. Damn, I thought I was the only one that nuts as a child, good to know I wasn't alone (lol).

 

[The Hero Killer]

I thought that the vagina was just an inside out penis.

I thought that cutting open the stomach was the only way to give birth to a child.

I thought that by the year 2000 we would have flying cars.

 

[Cyrax987]

I thought that the vagina was just an inside out penis.

I thought that cutting open the stomach was the only way to give birth to a child.

I thought that by the year 2000 we would have flying cars.

I believe all three of those and I can't tell you how badly I wanted to believe the year 2000 would be like that....

 

[Elidibus]

I used to think dogs had wheels and that's how they got around. I had a little wooden doggy pull toy (still have him too) and I loved him to death. When another kid in the neighborhood told me he had a dog with legs, my young mind couldn't fathom how such a creature could get around without wheels. In my mind, I pictured him stumbling around all stiff legged and stuff.

Good times...good times

 

[RustlessPotato]

I thought clouds were made of this http://www.hippeshops.nl/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/suikerspin.gif . I don't know how you call it in English. It's like candy on a stick.

I thought the monsters that would hide in the darkness/closet or under my bed were actually friendly and very shy, that's why i was never hurt by them or even noticed them. I even went to sleep in my closet once xD.

I grew up in kind of an old house, and they have "old house noises" if you know what I mean. I thought those were my friendly invisible monsters battling the bad evil monsters( and winning ofcourse).

My mother also told me once that I was confused that she'd be able to pick me up when I closed my eyes. How could she see me when I can't see her? Magic ofcourse. Which led me to believe that i was a wizard xD.

I was, and still am, confused when I touch myself: Do i feel my fingers touching my face or do i feel my face touching my fingers ?

I also learned to play the piano at quite a young age and i thought that when I played, i was actually putting the sounds in other people minds. I tried to find a way to use the piano to put thoughts into other peoples mind. And because my grandmother (who is the one who taught me), always gave me a bit of cash when she came over, i thought it was because I made her think she wanted to give me a bit of cash when she came over > !.

 

[Gammayun]

I thought clouds were made of this http://www.hippeshops.nl/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/suikerspin.gif . I don't know how you call it in English. It's like candy on a stick.

Its called candyfloss in the UK, in the US its called cotton candy and in Australia is called fairy floss. Though isn't it a awesome idea that you had companies collecting clouds with some kind of contraption, Sounds like something out of a Dr Seuss book.

 

[Promethax]

I used to think that all songs came from dreams, and that if one person played someone else's song it was because they had the same dream.

I have no idea what my mom was thinking telling me that.

 

[Fappy]

I used to think "Parmesan Cheese" was pronounced "Farmer John's Cheese".