More proof that games are the spawn of satan up at 6:00, an normal 18-yearold, bent upon destruction as his objective in the war-simulator, Starcraft, had his internet connection drop in the middle of a pitched online murderfest. His lust for blood unsatisfied, he promptly took his father's Sabre and prowled the neighborhood, late at night, in order to find a victim. He then found a 15-yearold girl on her way home from a wholesome swim meet, and stabbed here multiple times. Despite her near-decapitation and multiple stabs to her heart, she was able to pull through by channeling the powers of her non-gaming wholesomeness to heal her wounds. The Gamer has not been seen since, and the girl described him as "wearing a hockey mask and dressing entirely in black". A nation-wide manhunt has been called as we attempt to find this fugitive.