Talk To Cave Johnson For Only $40

[vansau]

Talk To Cave Johnson For Only $40

If you're a fan of fine art and are looking for something to put on your Holiday gift list, you may want to consider this talking Cave Johnson portrait.

Portal 2 had a number of great moments, but one of the definite highlights was when you explore the decayed ruins of Aperture Science and listen to Cave Johnson's pre-recorded messages over the PA system. Soon, fans of Mr. Johnson's increasingly crazy ranting will be able to listen to him whenever they want without having to boot up and play through portions of the game, because ThinkGeek has revealed that it's about to start selling an official Portal 2 Cave Johnson talking portrait.

The portrait will be just over 15 x 11 inches and will say thirteen different quotes, including the bit about creating combustible lemons to get back at life. You can actually <a href=http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/collectibles/ea60/detail/?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=2617611>read the entire list of quotes here and, boy, are there some gems.

The portrait is going to sell for $40 and will reportedly become available on December 17th, just in time to become a last-minute stocking stuffer.

Source: <a href=http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/collectibles/ea60/#tabs?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=2617611>ThinkGeek via <a href=http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/collectibles/ea60/#tabs?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=2617611>Topless Robot

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[TitanAtlas]

I keep throwing money at your faces and you keep talking... wtf more you want!?

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.

 

[Irridium]

I wonder what the price is in lemons...

 

[Irridium]

double posts are the work of the devil!

 

[Formica Archonis]

Wow. The gamer geek equivalent of a singing fish.

I wonder if like the singing fish its voice gets all weird and slow when the batteries run down.

 

[Beryl77]

As my avatar might suggest, I MUST HAVE IT! I think I'm going to gift this one to myself.

 

[Episode42]

Shut up and take my money!!
Damn you Valve, why do you make so many things that i want!!

 

[Dfskelleton]

I was a little unsure about the plush turrets, but this... I need this...

 

[Icehearted]

Brilliant! I have no shame in admitting Cave was the highlight of Portal 2. My money? Triviality! I must have more Cave!

 

[Tireseas_v1legacy]

Yet another brilliant quote from Cave Johnson:

"Just a heads up, that coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

The portraits are made using a special paint mixture that contains crushed moon rocks.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.

That's Saxton Hale, except that Hale is Australian rather than Texan.

 

[Waaghpowa]

.....overload....must...buy....

 

[Kapol]

Do want, but can't afford. And don't have any place I would really put it... Oh well.

 

[direkiller]

Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.

Nope he was a shower curtain salesman(not kidding)

 

[Vanbael]

The people in accounting said that we can't even afford to buy 40 dollars in Cave Johnson portraits, let alone 4. I want to get one anyway. Remember, if life gives you lemons, make them combustible and burn life's house down with them.

 

[samsonguy920]

That portrait of him in later life makes me think of Craig T Nelson. Though I am thinking that the guys at Valve were more imagining how JK Simmons looked with a full head of hair. Handsome devil, he is.
If I could afford one of these, I would hack it to also include his awesome quotes from the Farmers Insurance commercials. That guy, I can never get bored of him.
I only hear the radio commercials, but I thought I'd share one of the video commercials here for reference:

It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed.

"Now, some of the boys at the lab have told me that we can only manage to get 13 voice tracks on this thing. To compensate, they came up with a simple neurotoxin in the paint, so as soon as someone walks by, it'll make them forget what the painting just said, so they'll never know it only says 13 things. Unfortunately, they won't know much of anything else either, as the neurotoxin has so far proven to completely wipe out all memories of the person who walks by. The upside is that this means they have no recollection of how to contact us to inquire about our moneyback guarantee, so we're golden. Cave Johnson, we're done here."

You have just won this thread. My hat is off to you, sir.

 

[Nexus424]

Well darn...That would be cool but it doesn't have all his quotes

Especially not my favorite one.

 

[Darth_Dude]

I'd buy it if it had more quotes, 13 just insnt enough..
Throw in some Glados and Wheatley quotes however, and you'd have an instant buy.