Talk To Cave Johnson For Only $40

[direkiller]

Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.

Nope he was a shower curtain salesman(not kidding)

 

[Vanbael]

The people in accounting said that we can't even afford to buy 40 dollars in Cave Johnson portraits, let alone 4. I want to get one anyway. Remember, if life gives you lemons, make them combustible and burn life's house down with them.

 

[samsonguy920]

That portrait of him in later life makes me think of Craig T Nelson. Though I am thinking that the guys at Valve were more imagining how JK Simmons looked with a full head of hair. Handsome devil, he is.
If I could afford one of these, I would hack it to also include his awesome quotes from the Farmers Insurance commercials. That guy, I can never get bored of him.
I only hear the radio commercials, but I thought I'd share one of the video commercials here for reference:

It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed.

"Now, some of the boys at the lab have told me that we can only manage to get 13 voice tracks on this thing. To compensate, they came up with a simple neurotoxin in the paint, so as soon as someone walks by, it'll make them forget what the painting just said, so they'll never know it only says 13 things. Unfortunately, they won't know much of anything else either, as the neurotoxin has so far proven to completely wipe out all memories of the person who walks by. The upside is that this means they have no recollection of how to contact us to inquire about our moneyback guarantee, so we're golden. Cave Johnson, we're done here."

You have just won this thread. My hat is off to you, sir.

 

[Nexus424]

Well darn...That would be cool but it doesn't have all his quotes

Especially not my favorite one.

 

[Darth_Dude]

I'd buy it if it had more quotes, 13 just insnt enough..
Throw in some Glados and Wheatley quotes however, and you'd have an instant buy.

 

[Vault101]

It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed. (I want to make a lack of content joke at Portal 2's expense again, but I won't)

Throw in a Glados one with most of the content from 1 & 2 and I'd buy it.

lack of content? I found portal 2's length very satisfactory, and that was the main thing i was worried about

 

[GeorgW]

*Added to wishlist*
I love it, but Cave's my least favourite voice over from Portal 2. Where are my GLaDOS and Wheatley portraits??

 

[Richardplex]

It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed.

"Now, some of the boys at the lab have told me that we can only manage to get 13 voice tracks on this thing. To compensate, they came up with a simple neurotoxin in the paint, so as soon as someone walks by, it'll make them forget what the painting just said, so they'll never know it only says 13 things. Unfortunately, they won't know much of anything else either, as the neurotoxin has so far proven to completely wipe out all memories of the person who walks by. The upside is that this means they have no recollection of how to contact us to inquire about our moneyback guarantee, so we're golden. Cave Johnson, we're done here."

I only have one of these to give away, but I think you've earned it. Have an internet.

 

[Gather]

December the 17th? Wouldn't arrive to where I live in time for Christmas

On the other hand; shut up and take my visa!

 

[tahrey]

Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.

Me too ... I could swear I've even seen him depicted as such elsewhere.

I would urge caution - this could quite quickly become a Big Mouth Billy Bass type purchase.

 

[FamoFunk]

Holy shit that is awesome!
I wish there was a really good UK equivalent to ThinkGeek.com

 

[idodo35]

does this come with combusting lemons? if its an extra ill pay it!
seriously this is awsome lease take my money and give me one of these!

 

[DasDestroyer]

I AM THROWING MONEY AT THE SCREEN BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING D:<

I wonder if I can manage to get one before they all sell out...

 

[Hijax]

Wow. The gamer geek equivalent of a singing fish.

I wonder if like the singing fish its voice gets all weird and slow when the batteries run down.

When low on battery, it turn's into Glados' voice

 

[Steve the Pocket]

But I am more interested in a talking Glados potato. Keep your lemons.

It exists, but sadly only one was ever made, and it was sold to Valve. [http://volpinprops.blogspot.com/2011/06/glados-potato-portal-2.html]

 

[TheScientificIssole]

double posts are the work of the devil!

But now synchronicity Archer gif.!
OT: Meh, I ain't got no care!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I don't have the money but I do want.

...

*Sends article to friends and family*

 

[warfjm]

What?!?!?!?!? DECEMBER 17?!?!? WHY SO LATE?!?!?!? I am so disappointed. My family's Christmas shopping will be done by then. :-(