Talk To Cave Johnson For Only $40

direkiller

New member
Dec 4, 2008
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Kevlar Eater said:
Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.
Nope he was a shower curtain salesman(not kidding)
 

Vanbael

Arctic fox and BACON lover
Jun 13, 2009
626
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The people in accounting said that we can't even afford to buy 40 dollars in Cave Johnson portraits, let alone 4. I want to get one anyway. Remember, if life gives you lemons, make them combustible and burn life's house down with them.
 

samsonguy920

New member
Mar 24, 2009
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That portrait of him in later life makes me think of Craig T Nelson. Though I am thinking that the guys at Valve were more imagining how JK Simmons looked with a full head of hair. Handsome devil, he is.
If I could afford one of these, I would hack it to also include his awesome quotes from the Farmers Insurance commercials. That guy, I can never get bored of him.
I only hear the radio commercials, but I thought I'd share one of the video commercials here for reference:
OutrageousEmu said:
Sober Thal said:
It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed.
"Now, some of the boys at the lab have told me that we can only manage to get 13 voice tracks on this thing. To compensate, they came up with a simple neurotoxin in the paint, so as soon as someone walks by, it'll make them forget what the painting just said, so they'll never know it only says 13 things. Unfortunately, they won't know much of anything else either, as the neurotoxin has so far proven to completely wipe out all memories of the person who walks by. The upside is that this means they have no recollection of how to contact us to inquire about our moneyback guarantee, so we're golden. Cave Johnson, we're done here."
You have just won this thread. My hat is off to you, sir.
 

Nexus424

Master Of All That Is Frosty
Dec 26, 2008
1,088
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Well darn...That would be cool but it doesn't have all his quotes :(

Especially not my favorite one.
 

Darth_Dude

New member
Jul 11, 2008
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I'd buy it if it had more quotes, 13 just insnt enough..
Throw in some Glados and Wheatley quotes however, and you'd have an instant buy.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
15
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Sober Thal said:
It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed. (I want to make a lack of content joke at Portal 2's expense again, but I won't)

Throw in a Glados one with most of the content from 1 & 2 and I'd buy it.
lack of content? I found portal 2's length very satisfactory, and that was the main thing i was worried about
 

GeorgW

ALL GLORY TO ME!
Aug 27, 2010
4,806
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*Added to wishlist*
I love it, but Cave's my least favourite voice over from Portal 2. Where are my GLaDOS and Wheatley portraits??
 

Richardplex

New member
Jun 22, 2011
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OutrageousEmu said:
Sober Thal said:
It says only 13 different things.... I'm not impressed.
"Now, some of the boys at the lab have told me that we can only manage to get 13 voice tracks on this thing. To compensate, they came up with a simple neurotoxin in the paint, so as soon as someone walks by, it'll make them forget what the painting just said, so they'll never know it only says 13 things. Unfortunately, they won't know much of anything else either, as the neurotoxin has so far proven to completely wipe out all memories of the person who walks by. The upside is that this means they have no recollection of how to contact us to inquire about our moneyback guarantee, so we're golden. Cave Johnson, we're done here."
I only have one of these to give away, but I think you've earned it. Have an internet.
 

Gather

New member
Apr 9, 2009
492
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December the 17th? Wouldn't arrive to where I live in time for Christmas :(

On the other hand; shut up and take my visa!
 

tahrey

New member
Sep 18, 2009
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Kevlar Eater said:
Funny. I always imagined Cave Johnson as a Texas oil tycoon, complete with a blonde horseshoe mustache and cowboy hat.
Me too ... I could swear I've even seen him depicted as such elsewhere.

I would urge caution - this could quite quickly become a Big Mouth Billy Bass type purchase.
 

FamoFunk

Dad, I'm in space.
Mar 10, 2010
2,628
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Holy shit that is awesome!
I wish there was a really good UK equivalent to ThinkGeek.com
 

idodo35

New member
Jun 3, 2010
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does this come with combusting lemons? if its an extra ill pay it!
seriously this is awsome lease take my money and give me one of these!
 

DasDestroyer

New member
Apr 3, 2010
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I AM THROWING MONEY AT THE SCREEN BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING D:<

I wonder if I can manage to get one before they all sell out...
 

Hijax

New member
Jun 1, 2009
185
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Formica Archonis said:
Wow. The gamer geek equivalent of a singing fish.

I wonder if like the singing fish its voice gets all weird and slow when the batteries run down.
When low on battery, it turn's into Glados' voice
 

Steve the Pocket

New member
Mar 30, 2009
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Scruffsss said:
But I am more interested in a talking Glados potato. Keep your lemons.
It exists, but sadly only one was ever made, and it was sold to Valve. [http://volpinprops.blogspot.com/2011/06/glados-potato-portal-2.html]
 

warfjm

New member
Nov 14, 2007
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What?!?!?!?!? DECEMBER 17?!?!? WHY SO LATE?!?!?!? I am so disappointed. My family's Christmas shopping will be done by then. :-(