Teaching kids about homosexuality

Nieroshai

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It's my personal opinion that sexuality should be taught at home instead of school, at least until middle school health class when they've hit puberty. I don't care otherwise as far as letting them know homosexuality exists and what it is. As for the idea of tolerance and any other kind of morality, letting the school teach your kids morality is letting the government teach your kids morality. I believe in acceptance, but I also don't believe in the government telling us what to believe.
 

Nick Angelici

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Im gonna vent a little and say that people for a long time are gonna be dumb shits about this.

Seriously I have a few gay friends here and there and they barely changed once the awkward "Im gay" moment passed. I dont hate them, and I wont unless they do something stuoid like anyone else.

YES people need to understand about ALL genders and sexualities to be able to accept them all as normal at the same time.
 

TiefBlau

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Don't go out of your way to tell them.

Don't go out of your way to avoid it, either.

When I was a kid, I heard the word gay and I asked my mom, and she told me it's when a guy is in love with other guys. I said, "OK," and carried on with life.

It wasn't until much later that I found out that this is apparently a big deal.
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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Zeeky_Santos said:
Because "when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much" is all a small child is going to understand, and at that they understand very little. That's all I'm saying, when explaining to a small child, explain the fundamentals, don't go too complex for their little minds.

When the child grows up and gets to the age where they teach children about the birds and the bees in school and by extension sexuality, that's when it's appropriate.
Oh is it now? I wonder how I could figure the entire thing out pretty much on my own at the age of 8 or 9 and never really had to have a talk about "birds and bees".

The keyword here is "appropriate", and that's all this shenangian has ever really been about. Parents, teachers, every adult ever tend to get extremely uncomfortable when it comes to talking about this stuff with children, and that's also the reason why most of you in this thread who advocate waiting as long as possible say what you say.

The bullshit about "a kid will never understand these things" and similar crap is mostly just a rationalization on your part in order to escape having to deal with the subject matter. :)

I agree that a kid won't be able to understand these things on an emotional level (simply because they lack the hormonal make-up of a teenage or adult body) and some of them might even get a little freaked out by he entire thing at first (which isn't harmful since kids are run the risk of getting freaked out by pretty much anything new and unheard of like going to school for the first time or watching Disney's Snowhite and the seven dwarves for the first time etc.). But on a more conceptual level you'll see that kids are ridiculously quick to accept different things and not ask too many secondary questions about it once the entire thing has dawned on them completely. More questions might possibly arise when puberty hits them (because that's when the pesky emotional aspects start to make themselves known).

But It'll be a lot easier for everyone concerned if the kid already knows about the differences in heterosexuality and homosexuality and that none of them are "wrong" in any sense from an early age. Because IF the kid starts to develop feelings for someone of the same sex at that time, it won't be as much of a shock because they have known for several years that these things happen and that it isn't something to be feared.
 

SL33TBL1ND

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HG131 said:
SL33TBL1ND said:
HG131 said:
RicoADF said:
no, homosexuality is filled with political bs that kids just wont understand, keep it simple with what most people know, if she encounters it then explain it but otherwise thats a topic for later on.
The only reason for that is because assholes fill it with politics. It's simple to explain, just look at page 1.
SL33TBL1ND said:
Blitzwarp said:
SL33TBL1ND said:
I can see what you mean, but in the edit of the post you quoted, which I put in after you quoted me, I said that usually this talk come from a child asking where babies come from.
Oh duh, trust me to misread a post on my second day on these forums. XD Yeah, if it's just a straight case of where babies come from, then certainly in that discussion it would be wise to just discuss heterosexual sex.

Personally, I'd still probably explain homosexuality in proximity to that talk at a later date, though. From my own experience at school kids pick up on homosexuality quite early on (unless I was just in a really weird area or something - IIRC the first mention of homosexuality I heard at school was in Year Six, aged 11) and can be incredibly biased/abusive towards it. I'd hate for my kid to pick up that negative viewpoint before I had a chance to explain what homosexuality is really all about. :)
Oh I totally agree with you, but as long as you speak to the child at a different time. You don't want the kid thinking you can have babies by stickin' it in the pooper.

JRiseley said:
innocentEX said:
The Hairminator said:
No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.
I agree with this 100%.

It all comes down to the parent's decisions though, and they chose to have the child so its their burden and their choice on how to act on these matters. And it really isn't anyone else's business
Edit: This was a rant that highlighted the bigotry of the first quoted poster, but I realized that I may have been quite harsh. 1. Don't say queer. It's offensive. 2. PEOPLE ARE BORN GAY SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT A CHILD CATCHING GAY. 3. If you don't explain the mechanics of sexuality to a child before puberty you're psychologically abusing them.
Not everyone is born gay, while people most certainly don't CHOOSE to be gay, that doesn't mean it can't develop because of external stimuli.
I choose to believe that everyone is born bi with a preference but pushed to be 100% something. However, no sexuality can be CHOSEN or developed because of external stimuli.
5
Wait a minute, if you just said nothing can influence it, what pushes the person's preference to 100% something? And why does everyone seem to be thinking I said that homosexuality is something that is chosen? I know double negatives are tricky for some people, but this is ridiculous! Re-read my post, if you work through it carefully I'm saying people don't choose to be gay. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
It doesn't truly change them to 100%, it just makes them go deeply into denial. Ok, sorry, that was a really confusing statement. I'm saying that external stimuli doesn't change anything like you are, I'm saying it makes people think it has and just makes them deny any feelings for the opposite/same sex. I feel that someone can be mostly straight/gay but they'll always have some attraction to at least some members of the same/opposite sex. Basically, most people are 90/10 to 70/30 or 10/90 to 30/70 while some are 60/40 to 40/60 (Straight, Gay and Bi). Asexuals are a strange mutation. I'd say most people are a 90/10 or 10/90 (Straight or Gay).
That explains your position much better, thanks. While I recognise your suggestion as a very real possibility. I still believe could be influenced one way or the other. Agree to disagree on a matter that has not been proven either way?
 

kypsilon

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If you treat one subject as being different than the other, the neglected subject will come across as being something frowned upon, for lack of a better term. Children don't have all the societal misconceptions that adults carry around with them, they haven't learned to hate yet, and if you don't give them a reason to, they never will.
 

OtherSideofSky

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I've never understood why people get so uptight about letting kids know what sex is. All "childhood innocence" ever leads to is misinformation and unnecessary cruelty, so it should all probably just get written down in a grade school text book and left at that.

kypsilon said:
they haven't learned to hate yet, and if you don't give them a reason to, they never will.
really.

REALLY.

"They haven't learned about hate yet"!?
Where did you grow up, the Elysion Fields? Small children are capable of some of the most hateful, cruel and discriminatory acts against each other without any outside interference whatsoever, and anyone who says otherwise is just blinded by rose tinted glasses (another one of those "societal misconceptions"). Hatred, like all emotion, is innate to the human condition and arises naturally in social interaction. This should be obvious to anyone who ever got the shit beaten out of them every day because they liked to sit in a corner and read books five years too advanced for their grade level.
 

ninetails593

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Man, that's a doozey. Isn't seven a little early anyway? Why even have the talk anymore, it's not that hard to figure out, once you reach a certain age.
 

Twilight_guy

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Nov 24, 2008
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arragonder said:
Twilight_guy said:
arragonder said:
Ara69 said:
Have a homosexual explain it to them, they will do a much better job that you ever could
I just had an image of the parents bringing in a flaming guy XD "now billy, this man is a ho-mo-sexual. Can you say ho-mo-sexual?" XD sorry that's totally irrelevant.

Twilight_guy said:
No. Mostly because its already enough of a thing to have to teach about sex and not have to go into various other types of sex. That's unloading quiet a bit on a young child at once. One thing at a time.
how is it unloading too much to say some men like women some men like men and some men like both? The birds and the bees talk (what I understand this to have started from) is about love, why would it be so hard to add an aside that lists the 2 other homosexuality?
The way I hear it the "birds and the bees" is the physical act of sex. Telling kids about love is different and you can do that at any time and should say that love is a many varied and splendored thing and blah blah blah but when describing sex for the first time I don't think that parents need to describe every single possible way of having sex. If we're just talking about love as an emotion then that's different.
ok then, replace "a man and a woman" with "two people" and keep the rest of the talk the same. Problem solved.
The physical act of sex is different for homosexual couples because they physical do not have the same organs as a heterosexual couple. Therefore, no changing the wording does not solve anything. One type of sex at a time let's start simple (that's embarrassing enough) and move on from there. End of Line.
 

metal mustache

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well at this point i don't think my thoughts will be seen by anyone, too many comments, but i feel like saying stuff anyway.

ideally kids should taught about homosexuallity at the same time so as to discourage discrimination.

but realistically there are reasons not to. your sister may have chosen not to simply because it seemed like it would make the discussion more uncomfortable and would be unnessecary as there wouldn't be much consequence, that is if the daughter's heterosexuality is confirmed. That being the case you should also see that talking about homosexuality would serve a different purpose alltogether than talking about the birds and the bees.

hmm she said inappropiate, that sounds a little like bigotry but its not like shes means to be one (as few people do, excluding trolls). I'm pretty sure she just wouldn't know what to say to her daughter. 'Birds and Bees' was told to her by her parents, but what where do you start with a talk about lesbians? ... did she say she was worried about akward phone calls? god, suck it up buttercup...

well those aren't really good reasons, but they are reasons none the less.
 

Twilight_guy

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101flyboy said:
Twilight_guy said:
No. Mostly because its already enough of a thing to have to teach about sex and not have to go into various other types of sex. That's unloading quiet a bit on a young child at once. One thing at a time.
This isn't really about sex in itself specifically. I don't think anyone is saying "this is how you suck a penis." More like, some people are this, some people are this. Gay isn't all about sex.
As noted in an above quote from me, "the birds and the bees" in my definition is the physical act. If you want to discuss love, more power to the parents and discussing any type of relationship they like but for the description of the act, one thing at a time.
 

MorganL4

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Best I can remember I learned about homosexuality simply because we have a friend who is bi, and I was simply told that she was attracted to women as well as men, to the best of my recollection my response was oh, okay. And then I moved on with my life, the concept might have been easier for me to handle seeing as I had grown up knowing this woman ( she was at the hospital with my mother when I was born.) Best I can recall I figured meh she is the same person she just likes women too.
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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101flyboy said:
I was referring to reproduction. All the rest is a byproduct of it.
Sex is not just for procreation. And for gay/lesbian folk, man+woman is a fail. Because they ain't straight.[/quote]

I'd say that sex is FAR from being about procreation even.

I mean if you think about it, how many times in recorded history has sex been about procreation as opposed to just a couple of horny people being horny? :)

Procreation isn't the purpose of sex. The purpose of sex has and will always be about getting off. Procreation is more of an afterthought or biological consequence of sex.
 

Blitzwarp

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Boomshaka said:
Hmm I guess. Kinda negative viewpoint thou EDIT: Never said you had to follow the biological purpose. Hell I don't currently.
It's also a negative viewpoint to view homosexuality as 'abnormal' simply because it doesn't produce children. Which is what you said. So logically, if a heterosexual refuses to produce children, that also makes her abnormal. *shrug*
 

drdamo

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You should explain it all really. If by chance the kid does like someone of the same sex and you haven't explained it at all the situation will end in confusion and possibly lead to alienation or even fear. Its narrowsighted beliefs like that that keep the world a miserable place.
I've seen many good folks walking arround with mental scarring because parents and family forced hetrosexuality upon them. A good parent wants his/her kid to be happy, not what you as the parent want your kid to be. And certainly not project your own flaws upon the kid to mold the kid into a better version of yourself, instead of letting him or her have his or her own personality.
If you want someone to obey your every command, get a dog or someone who enjoys being a slave, don't ruin the life of a kid with it.
 

TiloXofXTanto

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Housebroken Lunatic said:
101flyboy said:
I was referring to reproduction. All the rest is a byproduct of it.
Sex is not just for procreation. And for gay/lesbian folk, man+woman is a fail. Because they ain't straight.
I'd say that sex is FAR from being about procreation even.

I mean if you think about it, how many times in recorded history has sex been about procreation as opposed to just a couple of horny people being horny? :)

Procreation isn't the purpose of sex. The purpose of sex has and will always be about getting off. Procreation is more of an afterthought or biological consequence of sex.[/quote]

Actually, sex is only caused by the biological urgings of the Id wishing to procreate (yes, even in homosexuals where the effort is pointless, sex is still caused by a subconscious urge for procreation being spread by the Id), the pleasure obtained from sex and the seemingly present want for sex is simply a buy-in used by the subconscious human mind to get you to do something you wouldn't have wanted to do otherwise (by this I mean, if you weren't attracted to anyone or anything, then the concept of having sex would be foreign and unwanted and an entire species would go extinct).

So the actual sensation of "being horny", as you put it, is the human subconscious telling itself that it is the time for children.

HOWEVER, Let it be known that even though this feeling applies all the way across the board, that the little voice in the back of your head making you do sex related things never specifies who to aim for. That's a decision for the Ego to make behind your back without ever telling you. Basically, the human urge of "being horny" is caused by the Id's need for procreation and a mate, but the unnoticed and static side of the Ego turns you toward whoever you want to direct that feeling towards without thinking of the end goal or purpose.

And done.
 

flatten_the_skyline

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I'm pretty certain that many people, especially male, have a bisexual side of some sort, that they block out because they are afraid. I'm not saying that every person is bisexual like some people do, but I think there's no straight line between sexualities, but a lot of grey in between. So I think many people feel ashamed when they felt an attraction to someone of the same sex, or to discover they were attracted to an androgynous person who turned out to be the same sex... And I don't think I'm any better than that. Actually, some of my friends discovered some homosexual desires in their twenties, after all the gay-bashing is through. I think you should teach a kid what "gay" means (other than happy) before it encounters "gay" as a swearword. when I was in elementary school, all the boys in my class used "to f_ck" and "to jerk off" (German: "ficken" and "wichsen") synonymously, since they didn't know the difference, and hardly grasped what either of it meant (I don't remember why I knew the difference, honestly, but the F-word was explained to me on the playground by some teenage misfit when I was 6. No he didn't touch me). Children are like that, and I wouldn't want my child to be called gay without even knowing what it means. Tell them what homo-, bi- and heterosexuality are, maybe transgender though that really complicates issues (on the other hand, people who are not comfortable with the sex they are born with, enough said), tell them it's all fine, and tell them that ignorant people think it isn't, that to not think it is fine is a clear sign of stupidity or ignorance, and tell them to call everyone who calls you gay a gay-bashing homophobe. that should puzzle the little bully brat.