I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, because honestly they figure it out themselves. I have nothing against it, but eventually when people start having casual sex and experimenting and whatnot they figure it out. I think teaching them about sex at a young age purely as a pleasure thing (which it basically is if no reproduction is involved) isn't the best thing to do. The cliche sex talk always starts with "When and man and a woman love each other..." and it normally is just about making babies. They figure out that that sex feels good on their own.
Teaching kids about homosexuality
- Thread starter lettucethesallad
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L, I think that's a very balanced & healthy attitude. The only other opinion/idea I can offer is maybe suggesting to your sister to include homosexuality in "the talk."lettucethesallad said:
Even if she disagrees with you, at least she'll understand your position.
offtopic
Like Josdeb said...Timmaaaah said:
The fact of the matter is, even without "encouragement" & in fact with a hell of a lot of DIScouragement homosexuality has been a constant since forever.Josdeb said:
Your kid WILL encounter homosexuality, either an actual example or as a weapon wielded by some bully homophobe. Including homosexuality in "the talk" will not "encourage" homosexuality, but it will give the kid the tools (s)he needs to interact with fellow human beings.
If you have to say "I have nothing against it" you do have something against it. Or, you wouldn't qualify it.Timmaaaah said:
Homosexuality should be as "encouraged", whatever that means, as heterosexuality. Homosexuality is not any lesser than heterosexuality. It is not any less acceptable or a worse option.
Kids need guidance. Kids need help. Kids need direction. Telling a kid "figure it out on your own" is a recipe for DISASTER. Kids NEED love and support. Why would you deny a gay/lesbian kids that just because of their sexuality? Why deny the truth to children that they are MORE than one option, and the world and most people inhabiting it are not 100% straight? Gay/lesbian folks and gayness in general deserves the same respect as straight folks and heterosexuality.
Saying homosexuality is purely about fun is INSULTING. It's also about, you know, love, romance, togetherness. It's not just fucking to get off. It's no different than heterosexual sex, outside of the procreation aspect, and not all heterosexuals have kids. Sex isn't just for making babies. Yes, there is a need to be age appropriate, but LYING to kids is not an option. Kids deserve the truth.
Men and men and women and women love each other as do men and women. Being straight is not the only way of the world. And it's downright cruel to teach otherwise. Heterosexism is wrong.
OK, thank you for clarifying!timeadept said:
I know you can't teach people to be straight. I was saying, and I guess incorrectly, that kids should be steered towards only believing that straight is the only option. I'm sorry for accusing you, you've explained yourself well.
The only issues I have are two things. Why would teaching a kid that gay people exist or that being gay is an option confuse a kid into believing they are gay? It would just mean that there are two options on the table, that doesn't automatically mean they would select one option, especially at 7. I would think that they confusion would come if you don't teach a kid that there are two options, and then they believe there is only one.
Also, although most people aren't exclusively gay, most people aren't 100% straight, either. So, I don't know what would be difficult in basically starting with "when two people love each other" and going from there. If a kid is confused, that's probably because the parent didn't explain the situation well enough. It's not difficult to simply start out with gender-neutral terms.
I won't explain the 'birds and the bees' to my kids until they ask me, or get curious, or I feel they're old enough to understand. Not because I think they shouldn't know at a younger age, because I reckon any age is enough to know the basic ideas and details of normal human relationships (if not sex or whatever). But rather, because I don't want to force such knowledge on my future children when I don't know if they'll be ready yet to hear it.
That being said, when I do tell my future kids about relationships and sex and whatever, I will give them all the facts they ask for, and I will teach them about both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. I will make sure they understand that the two are exactly the same save for the genders of the people involved. And I will be, as much as possible, honest about telling them the facts behind both het and homo relationships. At the end of the day, there is almost nothing different between the two, save superficiously. Refusing to tell your kids about gay relationships, no matter how well-intentioned the reasons may be, is just as bad as saying that being gay is wrong, because it is presenting a view that is biased in favour of what is considered 'the norm', even if such bias is unintentional, and all that does is further build the false illusion that being gay is wrong.
That being said, when I do tell my future kids about relationships and sex and whatever, I will give them all the facts they ask for, and I will teach them about both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. I will make sure they understand that the two are exactly the same save for the genders of the people involved. And I will be, as much as possible, honest about telling them the facts behind both het and homo relationships. At the end of the day, there is almost nothing different between the two, save superficiously. Refusing to tell your kids about gay relationships, no matter how well-intentioned the reasons may be, is just as bad as saying that being gay is wrong, because it is presenting a view that is biased in favour of what is considered 'the norm', even if such bias is unintentional, and all that does is further build the false illusion that being gay is wrong.
Should parents tell their kids about homosexuality? Yes. Should they initiate the discussion when they're seven? Hell no.
If you need a reason beyond common sense, it's simple: kids have NO need to know about any kind of sexuality yet, hetero or otherwise. Explaining homosexuality to them will almost invariably involve informing them of all the social and political craziness that comes with it, if only to warn the kids that such a topic can bring a hellstorm of discussion down on them.
I wouldn't discuss it with them for the same reason I wouldn't bring up heterosexuality until they're older - it's an involved topic that has no relevance to them. Let kids be kids. Let 'em think boys are icky and girls have cooties for now. When they're older and having more adult conversations, then you can breach the topic so they're at least informed.
No offense to your sister, OP, but I think she's pushing this issue on the kid too soon.
If you need a reason beyond common sense, it's simple: kids have NO need to know about any kind of sexuality yet, hetero or otherwise. Explaining homosexuality to them will almost invariably involve informing them of all the social and political craziness that comes with it, if only to warn the kids that such a topic can bring a hellstorm of discussion down on them.
I wouldn't discuss it with them for the same reason I wouldn't bring up heterosexuality until they're older - it's an involved topic that has no relevance to them. Let kids be kids. Let 'em think boys are icky and girls have cooties for now. When they're older and having more adult conversations, then you can breach the topic so they're at least informed.
No offense to your sister, OP, but I think she's pushing this issue on the kid too soon.
I was never taught of the Birds and bees, to be honest I wasn't really taught much at all about those subjects. Even if my parents tried, I would just switch the subject or not react to the whole thing, my parents relied me being a smart kid, understanding everything and or asking about these subjects if I was interested, I never were interested about these things. It is quite common in Finland to not teach kids about these things like that, not saying it is bad thing we don't or good things, it is just not part of our culture.
And yes I think talking about Hetero- and Homo- sex and relationships at young age is a good thing. Since the truth is that talking to kids about Homosexual people doesn't turn them in to one. The child knows from quite young age what he really is (Some studies done in which they interviewed Straight and Ga students about when they saw the "signs" (pardon the language, not native to english so don't know what word to use here) of their sexual orientation and results showed that the students had first realizations at the age of 8 and 10)... Bringing subjects up with kids at young age helps them to realize that people who are different are still people. And I need to point this out also: Kids aren't stupid and fragile as some people like to thing!!!
And yes I think talking about Hetero- and Homo- sex and relationships at young age is a good thing. Since the truth is that talking to kids about Homosexual people doesn't turn them in to one. The child knows from quite young age what he really is (Some studies done in which they interviewed Straight and Ga students about when they saw the "signs" (pardon the language, not native to english so don't know what word to use here) of their sexual orientation and results showed that the students had first realizations at the age of 8 and 10)... Bringing subjects up with kids at young age helps them to realize that people who are different are still people. And I need to point this out also: Kids aren't stupid and fragile as some people like to thing!!!
I'm considered radical in my stance. I feel sexual education should be given as early as middle school, and that homosexual relationships should be explained by someone who isn't blinded by some "God hates fags" bullshit they read about on the internet. People keep insisting that the best way to prevent promiscuity is by trying to make it obscure as possible and insist that it is is only something you do when you get married and that the best way to approach homosexuality is to pretend that it doesn't exist despite overwhelming evidence that THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE AND THAT SEXUAL EDUCATION IS EFFECTIVE.
Or to sum it up, yes. If you aren't getting awkward phone calls then either A. The teaching staff is clinically dead or B. The child is clinically dead. Awkward conversations due to the morbid curiosity of children is part of being a parent.
Or to sum it up, yes. If you aren't getting awkward phone calls then either A. The teaching staff is clinically dead or B. The child is clinically dead. Awkward conversations due to the morbid curiosity of children is part of being a parent.
You misunderstood me. I'm not saying it's purely about fun, but sex is pleasure, whether it's a deep connection or just casual, but seriously, did your parents tell you that it feels awesome? Most people just get taught what sex is and what it's for. Kids DO figure out who they are attracted to on their own. And I don't have anything against it AT ALL. I didn't say it was a lesser or worse option. Not telling them is not denying them an option. It's not teaching them otherwise if you only teach them about heterosexual sex. To oversimplify what I was saying is TERRIBLY close minded and ignorant. How dare you try to tell me that I think heterosexuality is the way of the world? How DARE you call me a heterosexist? Let me ask you a question, from what I posted, how could you possibly tell if I'm straight or gay? YOU CAN'T. Sex is about love, but kids FIGURE OUT WHO THEY LOVE ON THEIR OWN. Unless I'm mistaken, this forum was just about teaching them what gay sex is. I think you gotta teach them AFTER they've hit puberty if you need to teach them at all, because at that point they should have figured out if they're interested in girls or boys. If you give them the whole sex talk and add in that it can be done with boys at a young impressionable age it could affect the way they percieve attraction, causing them to not really be true to their own sexuality. The same thing happened with parents that say that hetero is the ONLY way, kids grew up confused, then they have the whole cliched idenity crisis, and end up becoming an IDIOT who no longer has their own personality because they try so desperately to fit the mould.101flyboy said:
I don't care either way. If it is taught then it needs taught by an unbiased party that will put it in fair light not the "You are evil and god will smite you" bit we have from religion nutters(the ones that take it too far) but we also need a revamp of how its taught. If a teen is actually gay he should know hes ok aside from what some wierdos with an ancient book tell him. And if he gets picked on i hope he is able to knock that bastard right the fuck down.
I believe the daughter should be taught to respect all people no matter what their sexual instincts are.
Ya, and neither does having sex with a lamp or a pair of socks, but those are still stupid things to do and aren't sexual options. And whether something is classified as an illness or not is irrelevant. Why can't people just be considered messed up and crazy anymore without getting to blame it on an illness? Also, humans and things that are rampant in nature don't always go together. We wear clothes and fly spaceships now and nature...doesn't. Score 1 for humans! (As long as we aren't getting it on with people our gender). Lastly...when you have 2 puzzle pieces that don't fit together do you jam them together until they fit or find a different piece that is shaped to receive such a piece? FACE!!!101flyboy said:
Uhh...Wow I certainly didn't expect this. Ok let me begin by saying you haven't made any decent arguments here... at all. Therefore it's very difficult to argue with because it's just that stupid. So what is your evidence for homosexuality actually being wrong then? So far you've simply stated "it is" and then when someone called you out on it you merely re-stated that "it is" so back up your arguments please or you may as well not be here.Zorrok the Merciless said: