Agayek said:
My point was that he did not violate the law with the list. Was it a mean-spirited and all-around bad idea? Yes, it most certainly was, and he should be punished for it. It did not violate the law, however, and therefore the legal system should never gotten involved.
Can't argue that. (Mostly 'cause I don't know your laws.)
Agayek said:
So basically what you're saying is that we should all never be called a mean name and anyone who does should be clapped in irons?
I'm not saying what he did was right or just. All I am saying is that he did not violate any laws. However the school decided to deal with him should have been the end of it. Since the school decided to expel him, the whole debacle should have ended there. The police should never have gotten involved in what amounts to "HE CALLED ME NAMES!".
Not, not entirely. I'm not saying you are not ~allowed~ to call other names. That'd make me a rather big hypocrite as I've been referring to the asshole with...well, the word asshole. What's wrong is not that someone is calling others names, what's wrong is ~why~ they do it. Calling someone an asshole for doing something legitimately rude/mean/offensive should be fine. Calling someone names for being gay, black, hispanic, lesbian, bisexual, etc. is what's fucked up. Calling a woman a 'slut' is not wrong because they are using a mean word - but because they are shaming women for something that is praised in men. They are shaming women for taking control of their sexuality. They are shaming them for not comforming to patriarchal approved sexual behavior. That's why it's wrong and that's why the insult is so common.
Why do you think 'slut' is so commonly tossed around to women? You don't need to be a 'slut' to be called one or be harrassed because people think you are one. Tossing that word ends up only damaging women, telling them that their behavior is and forever will be unnacceptable because only the men can do such things.
This goes beyond 'he called me names'. If we lived in a perfect society where women and men had the same social standing then it would just be that. But, because we live in a place where the power is clearly unbalanced that is not the case. Believe it or not, this is an act of oppression towards these girls. For being openly sexual - or perhaps not even openly - someone humilliated and shamed them. (And still some people seem to side with the bastard.)
Agayek said:
The fact of the matter is, if people are not secure enough in who they are to realize when someone is lying about them, they deserve to feel bad about it. Be who you want to be, and fuck the rest of the world.
It's not always that easy. Some people can grow up to be immune to harrasment. Some people simply cannot deal with it. It's not because they are insecure, or because they are weak. Sometimes the pressure and the harrassment can get so hard they can't escape it. And regardless of how tough we think we are there's always shit that gets to you.
(Anecdata time: I'm a bi girl living in a backwards country. I never actually came out to anyone, though I was dating this girl. We kept our shit quiet, so as to not get attention, but one asshole eventually found out. He told everyone. And though it was never hard to ignore the random idiot who yells '******' in your direction, shit piles up. I was never insecure about who I was. I was able to deal with the shit at first(which included minor shit like the name calling and the constant shove.) But shit escalated. Shit always escalates. And what started with a rumor spread by some asshole ended up with me being stripped down to my panties by four dudes who wanted to "turn the lesbian slut straight again." And I even owned that shit. I didn't let it get to me. But then hearing the entire school chanting '******' at me in some award ceremony, shit that stung. And that stung so bad I had to fucking leave town. Yeah, cool story, sis. I know.)
What I'm saying is, that whole saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" or whatever, is not entirely true. Sometimes words hurt, far more than actions. And sometimes they are just what someone needs to be sent over the edge. Should we censor people? Ban words? Fuck no. But we should not act like calling a teenage girl a 'slut' or a gay person a 'fag' or a black person a '******' is harmless. There's weight in those words that could easily break the morale, courage and will a kid might have.
Agayek said:
You are right though, this idiot is far past a kid who meant no harm. It was malicious, and it was foolish. It was not illegal though, and that's why I'm taking umbrage at him being arrested.
And that's fine. Honestly, if this is not actually illegal then the police should not have been involved. The Law is Law, it doesn't need to be fair, it needs to be followed. I can respect you defending that he does not merit any kind of judicial punishment.
What I cannot respect is, what I've said before, the flippant attitude this originally received. (Not saying you were the one dismissing it, though.)
