tell me some bad jokes
- Thread starter Theo Rob
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So, heavens a pretty exclusve place already but there is an even more exclusive private poker club run by god himself.
God likes to change around the membership every now and again and recently (for undisclosed reasons) a spot has opened up.
The shortlist has come down to 3 finalists. Oscar Wilde, Freddy Mercury and Queen Victoria.
Since they are all equal players they are to be decided upon a short interview/audition.
Freddy is first up...
"Well, with my singing talent I'm sure be the life of the party. I will sing songs and rock your socks off"
Next comes Mr Wilde...
Well my wit is legendary, my banter at the table will be sure to have everyone smiling"
And finally comes Queen Victoria...
She says nothing and produces a bottle of Evian. She unscrews the cap and hikes up her skirt. To the shock and horror of those around her she jams the bottle up her vagina and squeezes her thighs together.
She then pulls out the bottle and with a wry smile on her lips she opens her legs letting the torrent of water fall to the ground.
"You're in" Says god immediately.
There is a cry of outrage from the other two.
"Surely" they say "Surely you can't consider that to be suitable for a private poker club"
"Of course" Replies god
God likes to change around the membership every now and again and recently (for undisclosed reasons) a spot has opened up.
The shortlist has come down to 3 finalists. Oscar Wilde, Freddy Mercury and Queen Victoria.
Since they are all equal players they are to be decided upon a short interview/audition.
Freddy is first up...
"Well, with my singing talent I'm sure be the life of the party. I will sing songs and rock your socks off"
Next comes Mr Wilde...
Well my wit is legendary, my banter at the table will be sure to have everyone smiling"
And finally comes Queen Victoria...
She says nothing and produces a bottle of Evian. She unscrews the cap and hikes up her skirt. To the shock and horror of those around her she jams the bottle up her vagina and squeezes her thighs together.
She then pulls out the bottle and with a wry smile on her lips she opens her legs letting the torrent of water fall to the ground.
"You're in" Says god immediately.
There is a cry of outrage from the other two.
"Surely" they say "Surely you can't consider that to be suitable for a private poker club"
"Of course" Replies god
"A royal flush beats a pair of queens any day"
what do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idea!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still No Idea!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still No Idea!
I read an article the other day about crime in multistorey carparks. I tell you, that is wrong on so many different levels.
Why don't witches wear flat-topped hats?
Because there's no point.
What happened to the train with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
It wooden work.
Because there's no point.
What happened to the train with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
It wooden work.
