The 914 game

[Level 7 Dragon]

Salute, Escapist.

I present you an ancient forum game that originates the from old days of the SCP forums. The rules go something like this.

This was an old and popular fourm game that died out some time ago. The game goes like this:

Person 1: Put a PC in on 1:1.

Person 2: Result: Macintosh Computer. Put a 3-DS on Very Fine (If someone forgets to add the object and/or setting, decide for them, it saves time.)

The settings are like this:

Rough: Destroys an object.

Course: Dismantles an object.

1:1: Produces a similar object.

Fine: Produces an a similar object, but with a better trait.

Very Fine: Changes an object in a bizarre and risky way.

I'll start. Franco-English dictionary, 1:1.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A large container containing 4 fully functional pulse rifles and a tube with a strange alien antropod inside.

Avarage silver wedding ring, Fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A mass of pulsating flesh, smelling of hair dye and coctails.

Replica One Ring, Fine.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: The creature becomes animate and runs off to the nearest toy store to build allies out of different lego sets that resemble the game's bosses.

Aquamarine hair dye, very fine.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A USB drive containing a single corrupted video file labeled "катастрофа.mp4"

After restoration, the salvaged footage shows a handheld camera recording of some kind of cathedral build out of a silver-looking material, filled to the brim with people in pale-blue uniforms waving flags and chanting in various languages. Due to the low-quality of the recovered video and the incompetance of the operator the camera keeps focusing and unfocusing constantly, resulting in fine details being difficult to distinquish.

The chanting quites down and a tall african woman in a formal outfit walks to the pedestal at the end of the room and stands in the spotlight. Behind her is a large projector, displaying a United Earth flag with the letters UTF written underneath it in blocky letters.

Spoiler: imitation of the flag shown in the footage

The figure briefly adjusts the microphone, causing a mild audiotechnical error, and begins her speech.

Spoiler: transcript

[15.59.04.UTT/03.02.2078] Fellow Terrans, it is a great honour to stand before humanity's greatest accomplishment.

[camera tuns to the window, showing Earth in orbit and a planet-sized mechanical structure hovering above the blue pearl]

[15.59.35.UTT/03.02.2078] It is now time for us, as a species, to shed the shackles of the past. From the invention of the aeroplane, to the creation of the United Nations, to the founding of the first Marsian colony, we, humans, never gave up on the grand dream of progress. While it is true that we had our differences, from wars that lasted decades, to tyranical dictators saw men as pawns, we overcame them, and so we stand at the gates of Olympus to see the world for what it really is.

[camera pans to the edge of the auditorious to a protestor with a "Stop playing God" sign. The individual shows signs of struggle as they are escorted out of the room.]

[15.59.55.UTT/03.02.2078] After the press of this button, we shall finally gaze into the stars and, hopefully, find our purpose.

[the person of interest makes a distinguishible gesture with her right hand and the room falls into silence]

[16.00.13.UTT/03.02.2078] There must have been some sort of malfunction.

[The steel planetoid appears to be glowing in an eldritch orange hue, inching its way closer to the planet. Molten cracks begin to appear on the surface of Earth as the station rips through the atmosphere. The operator drops the recording device as panic in the room ensues]

[K-上午94][КОР]

After the removal of corrupted footage, the last few seconds of the tape show a static shot of an ivory dining room, complete with victorian-period furniture. Note the odd black shape in the bottom right corner of the screen.


Premium quality shaving cream, Very fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Results: A thick metal plate, sillicone and plastic blocks with copper wiring - all carefully arranged in stacks of five with blue and orange paint bottles placed on the side.

Political map of the globe, 1:1

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A Greek urn, dating back 350 B.C.E. Measuring 1m in height and 0.75m in diameter, depicting the plot of the 1992 animated film "Aladin" through stained glass and cobalt mozaic. Note that the characters shown have jewels where their eyes are supposed to be.

The Beatles "White Album", Very fine.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A visually identical set of clothes. The wearer gains the abulity to teleport between different blue-coloured torches while equiped with the outfit.

EasyNote TE11HC laptop that I'm using to type this message, Fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A pink/white Nintendo "Neo" portable console. It appears that such a devise will only be released in 10 years or so.

Nintendo "Neo" portable console, Fine.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A USB with seemingly unlimited storage space. After research it became apparent that it contains every feline image available on the internet, while updating it's storage in real time.

A blonde female wig, Very Fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: 1:1 scale Varia suit. Unfortunately, it's unusable to most individuals, as it was tuned for female combatants of amazonian stature.

Varia suit and an avarage sized police uniform, 1:1

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A paper plane. Once thrown it never fell nor collided with walls or objects, choosing instead to fly around the room in a counter-clockwise motion.

A plastic kid's "magic wand" toy, very fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A handful of generic paramedic Duplo mini-figures.

Tanakh, King James Bible, Quran, The Mormon Bible and several other abrahamic religious texts and "The God delusion" by Richard Dawkins - Very Fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A single Regenerator. Entity proved vunerable to Nintendo controllers.

"██████ for America 2016" propaganda poster, fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A sheet of fabric, plastic and silicone plates and a collection of bolts, all arranged in order of size.

Cherry red lipstick that I borrowed from my relative, very fine.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: an identical pair of dice. However, after testing over a night of D&D the participants claimed an unusually high change of rolling higher numbers. It's fair to say that they are now far more "lucky"

"Fit-X" brand protein shake, very fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A practical guide to applied thaumatology by Dr ███████████.

The words "You might find this useful, Ukeleile man" is written at the bottom left side of the cover in black ink.

This thick hardcover tome is divided into 12 chapters:

1. History of modern thaumatology
2. Energy signatures
-Type grey
-Type blue
-Type green
-Type magenta
3. Three laws of Thaumatology
4. Basics of thaumatological rituals and constructions
5. Cognito and Memetic hazards
-Basics memetic dynamics
-Creation of cognitohazards
-Safety precautions and disabling
6. Multiversal theory and thaumatology
7. Basis of multiversal survivalism
-Survival of humanoid creatures in impossible enviorments
-Survival of pandementional creatures in our reality
8. Sentient Thaumatological creatures
-Parapsychology
-Safety precautions with sentient thaumatological creatures
9. Creation of groups and containment facilities
10. History of prominent groups of interests.
-Church of the Broken God
I. Builders
II. Cogwork Orthodox Church
III. Maxwellians
- The SCP foundation
- Global Occult Coalition
- AWCY?
- Doctor Wondertainment
- Alexiva University
11. Potential end-of-the-world scenarios
-AX
-BX
-UK
-ZX
-KX
12. Collection of essays by prominent Thaumatologists on the issue of ethics in the field.

Busty full body mannequin, fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: A functional miniature of the map with small cars and obsticles moving and changing depending on the enviorment. Deserts occasionally have sand storms, city enviorments slowly decay. Upon closer observation, you can notice miniature humanoids comming out of the vehicles and interacting.

Tom Clancy's Red Storm Rising, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and the quotations of Ronald Reagan, 1:1

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result: a young brunette caucausian woman in an evening dress and a sterile marketing smile, holding a large pink box. She begins walking around the room, handing out paranormal goods while an unknown booming voice announces the name of the product and their price. After finishing the ten minute presentation, the person dissapears in a puff of pink smoke.

List of product "samples":
- a pink pill that makes the person grow cotton candy instead of hair.
- a diary with a lock which imprints itself to the first person who uses it.
- an Uncle Sam hat that makes people speak in a 20's Trans-Atlantic accent.
- chemistry set that allows children to conduct classic alchemical experiments, from creating a homunculus, to turning copper into gold
- a role playing strategy game with sentient NPC's

Introduction to economics university text book, fine

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Result : A magenta pill with a strong scent of hay.

Once ingested, the subject's organic tissue begins to solidify into a form of caramel. The individual shows signs of distress as their limbs lenghten and their fingers merge into hooves. Life functions cease as blood thickens into a mixture of chocolate and alchohol. Few minutes after the subject dies, various fluids begin to poar out of the body's now elongated and distorted moulth. The result of the tranformation is a fully organic statue, capable of producing various edible liquids. The products of the fountain have been proven rather pleasurable to various testers, despite the gruesome nature of their origin and the heavy metalic taste.

Avarage female swimwear, fine