Result: A cardboard box filled with stray puppies
Premium brand beauty anti-aging cream, very fine
Premium brand beauty anti-aging cream, very fine
The 914 game
- Thread starter Level 7 Dragon
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Result: A fully functional brass automaton hand. The devise seems to intergrate itself rather easily into any clockwork mechanism, transforming itself to increate the overall productivity of the devise.
-After being jammed into a 2 meter tall grandfather clock, the hand began emitting barn own mating sounds each time the watch was at 12AM.
-After being inserted into a very old printing press, the unit began to emit an oily substance which helped prevent jamming and increase the overall speed of the machine.
Standart Television remote control, very fine
-After being jammed into a 2 meter tall grandfather clock, the hand began emitting barn own mating sounds each time the watch was at 12AM.
-After being inserted into a very old printing press, the unit began to emit an oily substance which helped prevent jamming and increase the overall speed of the machine.
Standart Television remote control, very fine
Result: A 5 meter tall antique silver mirror. The round frame is decorated by imaged of a young woman encountaring various antropormorthic animals and board game pieces. Upon further examination it is noted that the reflextions show minor differences from the objects they are referencing.
Fruits in a bowl may have a different arrangements. Individuals may have minor zits, different haircuts or varying types of makeup.
After comming in contact with blood the panel dissapears, leaving open a passage towards a geometrically impossible mirror maze. The subject becomes increasingly more distressed the longer they traverse the structure, as the reflections become more and more warped as they move deeper into the maze.
For the sake of the experiment the volunteers were equipped with a head mounted video capturing devise, liked to a cable.
- For the first 10 or so minutes the reflections more or less accurately reflect the subjects physique.
- 20+ minutes the reflections begin to show variations in skin tone and muscle mass, as well as general apparel.
- 30+ minutes the entities begin to show differences in ethnicities and gender.
- 2+ hours the silhoettes begin to lose any of all resemblance to the original host and display severe malformalities, as well as biological properities that are impossible for mammals for posess.
- After 5+ of so hours of traveling the feed begins to distort, as plants and other various folliage begin to grow out of the maze floor, not long after as the overall entity begins to resemble a lush jungle, filled with organisms currently unknown to biology.
- 10+ hours the video footage becomes barely recognizable, however the researchers are able to make out large fungal structures and multible creatures resembling felinae.
- At 11 hours 23 minutes 6 seconds the video suddendly cuts off. After retracting the cable it is noted that the object was severed by some large carnivorous creature, judging by the bite marks left on the rubber coating.
Occasional laughter is still heard from the maze entry.
Children's "Real Secret Agent's" Disquise Kit, Very fine.
Fruits in a bowl may have a different arrangements. Individuals may have minor zits, different haircuts or varying types of makeup.
After comming in contact with blood the panel dissapears, leaving open a passage towards a geometrically impossible mirror maze. The subject becomes increasingly more distressed the longer they traverse the structure, as the reflections become more and more warped as they move deeper into the maze.
For the sake of the experiment the volunteers were equipped with a head mounted video capturing devise, liked to a cable.
- For the first 10 or so minutes the reflections more or less accurately reflect the subjects physique.
- 20+ minutes the reflections begin to show variations in skin tone and muscle mass, as well as general apparel.
- 30+ minutes the entities begin to show differences in ethnicities and gender.
- 2+ hours the silhoettes begin to lose any of all resemblance to the original host and display severe malformalities, as well as biological properities that are impossible for mammals for posess.
- After 5+ of so hours of traveling the feed begins to distort, as plants and other various folliage begin to grow out of the maze floor, not long after as the overall entity begins to resemble a lush jungle, filled with organisms currently unknown to biology.
- 10+ hours the video footage becomes barely recognizable, however the researchers are able to make out large fungal structures and multible creatures resembling felinae.
- At 11 hours 23 minutes 6 seconds the video suddendly cuts off. After retracting the cable it is noted that the object was severed by some large carnivorous creature, judging by the bite marks left on the rubber coating.
Occasional laughter is still heard from the maze entry.
Children's "Real Secret Agent's" Disquise Kit, Very fine.
Result: A Gauntlet decorated by gold, platinum and various glowing lego pieces. While equiped, the user is able to alter the cosmic properities of LEGO construction sets and their individual pieces. This includes changing the object's size, volume, chemistry, relationship to gravity, radioactivity, as well as the possession of sentience by the object.
Testing discovered that the artifact is only able to influence licenced LEGO products, as immitations seem to be unaffected by the object.
A stack of medical university textbooks discussing everything from psychiatric analysis and dentistry to platic surgery and neuroscience - Very Fine.
Testing discovered that the artifact is only able to influence licenced LEGO products, as immitations seem to be unaffected by the object.
A stack of medical university textbooks discussing everything from psychiatric analysis and dentistry to platic surgery and neuroscience - Very Fine.
Result: A red rusty dentistry chair. Subjects report uneasy while remaining in the object after a few minutes of being present in it. Should the subject fall asleep while residing inside the object, they will report seeing vivid hallucination of being trapped inside an industrial mechanism, chased by mangeled silhoettes. After each of those accidents, random wounds of varying severity appear on the subjects body, ranging from acid burns to chunks of flesh being taken out by an unknown carnivorous creature.
Folded inside the construct a note was found with messy handwritting.
Folded inside the construct a note was found with messy handwritting.
Valve's "The Orange Box", Fine
Result: A wooden wand. Upon examination it is noted that the material is simmilar to that of the Yorkshire Oak, however the hairs contained within the artifact belong to some mammal currently unknown to nature.
After attempting to cast one of the novels incantations, the object emits a powerful shock, knocking all the personel to the walls and disabling electronics.
"How to Find Love and Self-worth" self help book, Very fine
After attempting to cast one of the novels incantations, the object emits a powerful shock, knocking all the personel to the walls and disabling electronics.
"How to Find Love and Self-worth" self help book, Very fine
Result: a 3876 TB flash drive containing Spoony's biography, psychological profile, game reviews dating from 2006 to 2078, as well as detailed commentaries on both path and future historical events, some of which seem impossible, if not contradictory. Most notably are his unedited videos of him paying a visit to Anime-themed cafees based on the surface of the Russian Marsian colonies, as well him recieving genuine cat-ears in one of the many Transgenics laboratories located in the independent republic of Texas.
No record of a Half-Life 3 review, though.
A human sized capsule, a practical guide to gene therapy and a collection of various electronics, fine
No record of a Half-Life 3 review, though.
A human sized capsule, a practical guide to gene therapy and a collection of various electronics, fine
Result: Watchmen: Collectors edition
The new edition features an in-depth commentary by Alan Moore himself, detailing the process of character design and his creative process. Long-term exposure to the book was known to cause nausia, vomiting and even loss of consciousness due to the radioactive isotope used to paint Dr. Manhattan.
A pile of books detailing race/gender issues faced by modern societies, various economic/political manifestos and a bouquette of roses, fine
The new edition features an in-depth commentary by Alan Moore himself, detailing the process of character design and his creative process. Long-term exposure to the book was known to cause nausia, vomiting and even loss of consciousness due to the radioactive isotope used to paint Dr. Manhattan.
A pile of books detailing race/gender issues faced by modern societies, various economic/political manifestos and a bouquette of roses, fine
Result: A 2kg brick of antimatter located inside a magnetic container. It's highly adviced not to open it.
A box filled with steroids, very fine
A box filled with steroids, very fine
Result : Four smaller magnetic boxes, each containing antihelium-3 and antihelium-4 nuclei, an unknown source of photons and antihydrogen-1 nuclei.
A flash drive containing hundereds of "make-up" tutorials, fine
A flash drive containing hundereds of "make-up" tutorials, fine
Result: "Deepest Tide" an unofficial sequel to the film with high quality production value. The film centers around Jacob Crestfall, a young aquatics engineer (played by Jesse Eisenberg), who works at an experimental oil rig, located below see level. During one of his routine expeditions, the crew find the remains of the cast of the previous film, as well as a collection of odd-looking eggs. Jacob has to convince his senior director (played by Pearl Herman) to destroy the station and notify the Austrialian government about the upcomming catastrophe.
Any screen projecting the movie at times appear to "leak" seawater during the underwater scenes..
two boxes of estrogen and testerone respectfully, fine
Any screen projecting the movie at times appear to "leak" seawater during the underwater scenes..
two boxes of estrogen and testerone respectfully, fine
Result: A 10x10 sm pink plastic cube with three glowing buttons titled Delta, Sigma, Gamma respectfully.
Each button, when pressed causes a progressively stronger orgasm with varying side effects. The first button produces a male sexual implulse, however repeated use has known to cause mild sezures and memory loss. Subjects have shown to repeatedly press the button to the detrement of other insticts such as sleep, hydration, food and hygene.
The second button causes a much stronger "female" orgasm, but takes three minutes to "recharge" before being used again. When pressed, the subjects lose consciousness, after waking up they report a vivid hallucination of an erotic encounter in a random enviorment and actors. They may experience being in a body of a different gender, ethnicity and complexion, as well as varying companions.
The settings have included:
- 18'th century Paris slums. With actors being a young and stout french brunette general and a Catalonian escord.
- 4K BCE Babylon. Dosents of actors of varying complexion and gender partaking in some odd fertility ritual.
- 1930's Berlin. A former german soldier attempts to find earn enough money for food through sex work.
- 79 AD Pompeii. Several elderly legioners enter a brothel before suffocating in volcanic ash.
After repeated use the subjects display a form of Personality Dissonance Disorder, speaking previously unknown and sometimes dead languages and longing for a return to their former bodies, which leads them to pressing the third button.
After pressing button Gamma, the subject falls into a coma for an hour to several weeks. After which, they undergo a metamorphosis, which includes changes in: ethnicity, body complexion, height, hair colour, weight, gender, gender identity, placement of tatoos, piercings and scars, etcetera. Should the subject wake up, they will be rendered sterile and will lack any or so sexual drive and will be disqusted by even the mention of any kind of suggestive or erotic acts. Gamma subjects experienced severe nausia when observing the pink box and broke restraints in attempts to destroy the object.
University World History textbook, fine
Each button, when pressed causes a progressively stronger orgasm with varying side effects. The first button produces a male sexual implulse, however repeated use has known to cause mild sezures and memory loss. Subjects have shown to repeatedly press the button to the detrement of other insticts such as sleep, hydration, food and hygene.
The second button causes a much stronger "female" orgasm, but takes three minutes to "recharge" before being used again. When pressed, the subjects lose consciousness, after waking up they report a vivid hallucination of an erotic encounter in a random enviorment and actors. They may experience being in a body of a different gender, ethnicity and complexion, as well as varying companions.
The settings have included:
- 18'th century Paris slums. With actors being a young and stout french brunette general and a Catalonian escord.
- 4K BCE Babylon. Dosents of actors of varying complexion and gender partaking in some odd fertility ritual.
- 1930's Berlin. A former german soldier attempts to find earn enough money for food through sex work.
- 79 AD Pompeii. Several elderly legioners enter a brothel before suffocating in volcanic ash.
After repeated use the subjects display a form of Personality Dissonance Disorder, speaking previously unknown and sometimes dead languages and longing for a return to their former bodies, which leads them to pressing the third button.
After pressing button Gamma, the subject falls into a coma for an hour to several weeks. After which, they undergo a metamorphosis, which includes changes in: ethnicity, body complexion, height, hair colour, weight, gender, gender identity, placement of tatoos, piercings and scars, etcetera. Should the subject wake up, they will be rendered sterile and will lack any or so sexual drive and will be disqusted by even the mention of any kind of suggestive or erotic acts. Gamma subjects experienced severe nausia when observing the pink box and broke restraints in attempts to destroy the object.
University World History textbook, fine
Result: 16 stacks of microscopic colour receptor cones, three lenses, three pigment layers for shifting between different UI modes, 1ml of cobalt, a string of nervious tissue.
Asthma medicine inhaler, fine
Asthma medicine inhaler, fine
Result: 1TB of various video material detailing the dynamics of the movement, including interviews with Bob Chipman, Briana Wu, Internet Aristocrat, Notch as well as other outspoken figures of the controversity. The final file depicts a convention of some sort where various figures from both sides of the conflict performing a sacrificial ritual on the EA board of directors with Milo, the CEO of 4chan together with Anita Sarkesian laying down the torch.
A can of Coca-cola, coarse.
A can of Coca-cola, coarse.
Result: Human skin cells and a pile of pigmentless tapeworms. The latter seems to burrow into the former and reproduce the original imput.
Surgery equipment, very fine
Surgery equipment, very fine
Result: Out of the output door float out levitating Lego constructs depicting the Lucas-style intro text scroll that transcribes in-detail the plot of the seven films with minor differences that fit the overall comedic tone of the spin-off. Those differences include: pilots crashing in to the Death Star exhaust pipe instead of shooting it, Anakin falling into think jelly instead of molten lava and a sub-plot about Kylo Ren's hair stylist.
After the last paragraph floats out of the room, then out of the building a pair of miniature lego X-Wings fly out of the output cabinet and begin attacking researchers with unpleasant, yet non lethal energy blasts.
The misogynistic surgery machine from the previous test, fine
After the last paragraph floats out of the room, then out of the building a pair of miniature lego X-Wings fly out of the output cabinet and begin attacking researchers with unpleasant, yet non lethal energy blasts.
The misogynistic surgery machine from the previous test, fine
Result: A malformed bicicle wheel, probably deformed by a large vehicle, as well as a paper note. On the tire one can notice a smidge of dried blood mixed with petrol.
One the note, smeared with dirt there is a single sentence in poor handwriting:
One the note, smeared with dirt there is a single sentence in poor handwriting:
"The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir, 1:1
Result: Ratchet and Clank: Infinity Drive for the PS7
The game begins with Ratchet and Clank being short on cash and forced to accept a contact from a strange faceless figure to test a new jump drive in ordet to make their day. The jump drive malfunctions and disentegrates the ship, trapping the titular characters in a mysterious dimention called the "Nexus", in which they can see every door to a possible version of reality. After wondering around featureless terrain, which acts like a tutorial level protagonist stumbles upon the Voyager spacecraft, which tells the player to retrieve the parts of the jump drive which were scattered throughout the multiverse, else they would be stuck in the Nexus forever.
The first door they go into resembles a neolithic world, filled with Conan the Barbarian style tribes and enemies. Due to the limited ammo the player is forced to dodge slow moving projectiles and engage the monsters in close quaters. After reaching the end of the stage, the player find the Drive's self defence system, which is worshipped as a deity by the cavemen. The drive activates and becomes the introduction boss for the game. When the enemy health bar eaches zero, the drive piece turns back into a small McGuffin which fits comfortably into Clank's backpack.
However, the entry door opens up by itself and countless droid start poring out, terraforming the planet and terminating the locals. This is when Ratches gets his hands on more "serious" firearms. However, the player is advised to constantly mix up their strategy, as the robots evolve to become immune to a weapon should it be used too long.
Upon returning to the Nexus, R&C see that the mysterious colonists established a perminent base of operation there and begin kicking down the multiversal doors. Both of the protagonists panic and jump into the nearest portal, which coincedentally ends up to be the world of Jack and Dexter.
After waking up in the evergreen mewdows and realizing what happened the characters decide to head for the nearest village, where they meet Jack and Dexter themselves. After a brief fight and not so brief cutscene, the characters team up to fight off the pangalactic conquerers.
Box of antibiotics, very fine
The game begins with Ratchet and Clank being short on cash and forced to accept a contact from a strange faceless figure to test a new jump drive in ordet to make their day. The jump drive malfunctions and disentegrates the ship, trapping the titular characters in a mysterious dimention called the "Nexus", in which they can see every door to a possible version of reality. After wondering around featureless terrain, which acts like a tutorial level protagonist stumbles upon the Voyager spacecraft, which tells the player to retrieve the parts of the jump drive which were scattered throughout the multiverse, else they would be stuck in the Nexus forever.
The first door they go into resembles a neolithic world, filled with Conan the Barbarian style tribes and enemies. Due to the limited ammo the player is forced to dodge slow moving projectiles and engage the monsters in close quaters. After reaching the end of the stage, the player find the Drive's self defence system, which is worshipped as a deity by the cavemen. The drive activates and becomes the introduction boss for the game. When the enemy health bar eaches zero, the drive piece turns back into a small McGuffin which fits comfortably into Clank's backpack.
However, the entry door opens up by itself and countless droid start poring out, terraforming the planet and terminating the locals. This is when Ratches gets his hands on more "serious" firearms. However, the player is advised to constantly mix up their strategy, as the robots evolve to become immune to a weapon should it be used too long.
Upon returning to the Nexus, R&C see that the mysterious colonists established a perminent base of operation there and begin kicking down the multiversal doors. Both of the protagonists panic and jump into the nearest portal, which coincedentally ends up to be the world of Jack and Dexter.
After waking up in the evergreen mewdows and realizing what happened the characters decide to head for the nearest village, where they meet Jack and Dexter themselves. After a brief fight and not so brief cutscene, the characters team up to fight off the pangalactic conquerers.
Box of antibiotics, very fine
A living, breathing human. Then you get demoted to Class D for putting a living, breathing organism into SCP-914.
The complete works of Shakespeare; Fine.
The complete works of Shakespeare; Fine.