The Best Advice You Ever Received.
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I want to share something my father told me once (and had written down so I wouldn't forget it):
"It is important that we always maintain a positive outlook on ourselves. No matter what anyone else says, or thinks, or does, we control our own self-esteem.
I think it is also important that we try to always do the right thing, for us, and for others.
Be positive. Make positives out of negatives.Help others. Help others make positives out of their negatives. You will feel better, and hopefully they will too.
You have power honey, don't forget to use it."
"It is important that we always maintain a positive outlook on ourselves. No matter what anyone else says, or thinks, or does, we control our own self-esteem.
I think it is also important that we try to always do the right thing, for us, and for others.
Be positive. Make positives out of negatives.Help others. Help others make positives out of their negatives. You will feel better, and hopefully they will too.
You have power honey, don't forget to use it."
I think advice like that is damaging a lot of people. I'm doing my A levels (I'm seventeen, surrounded at A level college by people my age and older) and the amount of people I know with actual dreams, or plans is probably in the single digits. Fair enough if you pick a course that sounds interesting. It could be the gateway to your dream job if you have no idea. But seeing education as just something to get through is a horrible mistake to make, especially at this point.an annoyed writer said:
Basically the attitude of everyone around me is 'oh well, at least I'll get a bit of money'. People seem to think work just isn't something to be enjoyed. Most people going to university have only planned that far, and most people not going to university have only planned that they will work. As general as that is. I think not having an idea of what you want to do is what contributes to a lot of failure and constant repeating in A levels, just because you pick courses from a trivial interest, or because it sounds easy, and thus approach it apathetically. There are a bunch of people here in their early twenties just because they're in a cycle of 'oh, I failed. Guess I'll try again next year.'
I know what I want to do, and I have done for years. Fair enough to say I decided quite early, but I can now angle myself towards it, and just that preexisting idea of where I'm going, I think, has given me more potential for success than a lot of people.
OT: 'Solving other people's problems is nearly always easier than solving your own'.
"A Calm word stops an argument, a rash one stirs it up." -Proverbs
Basically, responding to anger with anger only escalates it. If someone is yelling at you and you respond calmly, in almost no time at all, they'll calm down too. Then you can actually get something discussed/done/accoplished/etc.
Additionally, it's an inversion of the Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf. If you earn a reputation as someone who doesn't get angry, when you do get angry people will realize it's something important to you.
I can't stress enough how much this approach has helped my marriage.
Also: "No one ever entered a fight thinking they were in the wrong."
Thinking about this helps me remember that just because someone disagrees with me, doesn't mean they're wrong. They're just as convinced in their side as I am in mine. For all I know, it might not be them that's wrong.
Similarly: "If two people have conflicting beliefs, one or both must be wrong." -Descartes
It's the "Both" that sticks out to me. It reinforces the idea, that the solution may not be as black and white as it initially appears.
Basically, responding to anger with anger only escalates it. If someone is yelling at you and you respond calmly, in almost no time at all, they'll calm down too. Then you can actually get something discussed/done/accoplished/etc.
Additionally, it's an inversion of the Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf. If you earn a reputation as someone who doesn't get angry, when you do get angry people will realize it's something important to you.
I can't stress enough how much this approach has helped my marriage.
Also: "No one ever entered a fight thinking they were in the wrong."
Thinking about this helps me remember that just because someone disagrees with me, doesn't mean they're wrong. They're just as convinced in their side as I am in mine. For all I know, it might not be them that's wrong.
Similarly: "If two people have conflicting beliefs, one or both must be wrong." -Descartes
It's the "Both" that sticks out to me. It reinforces the idea, that the solution may not be as black and white as it initially appears.
"You're drunker than you think you are". This sentence rang through my drunk brain when we were cheers'ing for that last shot of the evening that I didn't need. Saved me loads of trouble.
"(Insert my real name here), you have chaos in your head. And if you don't bring order into that chaos, you are going to sink like a stone."
Said by my math-teacher, who was super strict and unfriendly, but also really good at getting math in your head. Back then (I was about 12 at the time) it felt like he was too harsh, but nowerdays I understand exactly what he meant. Might not help everyone, though. I really do have a lot of chaos in my head.
The other one is probably: "When you find someone with whom silence isn't awkward, with whom you can enjoy it, then you found someone special." Weirdly enough, I later realised that he probably had that from Pulp Fiction. But it's still good advice and has served me well.
Said by my math-teacher, who was super strict and unfriendly, but also really good at getting math in your head. Back then (I was about 12 at the time) it felt like he was too harsh, but nowerdays I understand exactly what he meant. Might not help everyone, though. I really do have a lot of chaos in my head.
The other one is probably: "When you find someone with whom silence isn't awkward, with whom you can enjoy it, then you found someone special." Weirdly enough, I later realised that he probably had that from Pulp Fiction. But it's still good advice and has served me well.
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
Towards questions of the future. I found it on the internet while searching for Warhammer 40k quotes.
Towards questions of the future. I found it on the internet while searching for Warhammer 40k quotes.
"Shut up about yourself and listen to what others want to say." Self-expression is overvalued in modern society. People tend to like you more when you listen to their feelings instead of yakking on about yourself - it makes them feel valued and you seem less self-centered. Furthermore, it gives you the advantage in relationships, as you know more about your friends than they know about you.
The wisest advice I have ever seen stands in Latin on a building in Amsterdam. It says 'Homo sapiens non in ventum urinat'.
'A wise man pisses not against the wind'.
The wisest advice I have ever seen stands in Latin on a building in Amsterdam. It says 'Homo sapiens non in ventum urinat'.
'A wise man pisses not against the wind'.
I shall treasure those words 'till the day I die.
'A wise man pisses not against the wind'.
I knew a lot of people that didn't really know what they wanted to do, hell I only found out by stalling my decision until the absolute final moment. But I do know is this: It doesn't matter that much. Aside from the academic jobs that require lots of knowledge and experience of a very focused area, most jobs simply require you to be a good employee, and there are various methods to prove to the employer that you are. My dads boss was a man in charge of a very large company that was specialised in HR management, yet he had a Masters in Chemistry. All the choices seem so large at the time, but the only choice that really matters is wether you choose to work hard and become who you want to be, or not.Binnsyboy said:
The wisest advice I have ever seen stands in Latin on a building in Amsterdam. It says 'Homo sapiens non in ventum urinat'.
'A wise man pisses not against the wind'.
I shall treasure those words 'till the day I die.
There are things you simply have to live with but there is nothing you simply must accept.
Think before you speak.
Look at the facts. (Ironically this advice was given by a Christian trying to convert me. Divorced from the humorous origin, it is quite sound advice.)
If god exists, there's nothing you can do about it. If god does not exist, there's nothing you can do about it. Therefore, doesn't matter.
Don't exhaust yourself looking for an up side. Some situations just don't have one.
Find joy and wonder in the commonplace.
The moment you willingly surrender your last toy is the moment you become old.
Morality is fluid and subjective. Even bedrock precepts like "do not kill" are ignored when it's convenient.
It's great to have a plan, but planning doesn't lay a single brick.
Think before you speak.
Look at the facts. (Ironically this advice was given by a Christian trying to convert me. Divorced from the humorous origin, it is quite sound advice.)
If god exists, there's nothing you can do about it. If god does not exist, there's nothing you can do about it. Therefore, doesn't matter.
Don't exhaust yourself looking for an up side. Some situations just don't have one.
Find joy and wonder in the commonplace.
The moment you willingly surrender your last toy is the moment you become old.
Morality is fluid and subjective. Even bedrock precepts like "do not kill" are ignored when it's convenient.
It's great to have a plan, but planning doesn't lay a single brick.
Tough one...
Probably:
"Don't overthink this! You like her and you say she's showing signs of liking you! Just do something fun with her, and ask her out while you're both enjoying yourselves. Don't try to be all over the top romantic, just ask! You're both friends now, you've been hanging out a lot recently, and you're both getting along great. So stop self doubting and overthinking and JUST DO IT".
That helped me a lot. I was freaking out about what to do prior to asking a friend for what to do to.
--
Another piece of advice I'm working on using is "When life feels impossible and you feel all negative, just think ONLY of the present moment. That will kill off your negative feelings and your ego, and make things feel a lot more possible"
Also, "Know when to fold 'em" is something I've always lived by. If I look like I'm totally screwed and I can still bail, I will bail. This makes my best friend really mad though, since he feels I give up to easily (he, in contrast, NEVER gives up. He does NOT know when to fold 'em. Although he's got enough sheer determination to make almost everything work out for him in the end)
Probably:
"Don't overthink this! You like her and you say she's showing signs of liking you! Just do something fun with her, and ask her out while you're both enjoying yourselves. Don't try to be all over the top romantic, just ask! You're both friends now, you've been hanging out a lot recently, and you're both getting along great. So stop self doubting and overthinking and JUST DO IT".
That helped me a lot. I was freaking out about what to do prior to asking a friend for what to do to.
--
Another piece of advice I'm working on using is "When life feels impossible and you feel all negative, just think ONLY of the present moment. That will kill off your negative feelings and your ego, and make things feel a lot more possible"
Also, "Know when to fold 'em" is something I've always lived by. If I look like I'm totally screwed and I can still bail, I will bail. This makes my best friend really mad though, since he feels I give up to easily (he, in contrast, NEVER gives up. He does NOT know when to fold 'em. Although he's got enough sheer determination to make almost everything work out for him in the end)