Dear Bob
I find that as a geek we often agree, but as far as social mores, and your high minded rage against people having opinions that you don't share, we couldn't be further separated. I agree with you that words have meaning, but that meaning is half what the speaker meant and half what the listener takes from it. People today have no ability to take criticism because they are raised being told their special. A good deal of our generation has gigantically inflated sense of entitlement. You aren't special, I'm not special, we're just a couple of smart geeks kicking around in a world and trying to define ourselves. You seem to want to go with the current understanding of "progressive" which to me is the opposite of progress, I tend to define myself as honest, because the world is a harsh angry place and the more you deny that truth the more you expect out of yourself and everyone else and the more you are let down and become bitter.
I am, by and large, not bitter. I drink, I play games, I read, I hang out with my friends, and I understand that not everyone will get along. Its my honest belief that, socially, if you don't or won't stand up for yourself and demand to be treated equally then you deserve to be stepped on, its harsh and people might call me mean or a bigot, but here's the catch: I don't give a shit what negative things other people have to say about me.
I'm from Alabama, people call me a redneck, people call me uneducated, they think I'm inbred, they ask how many times I have had sex with members of my family, and you know what the difference between me and a black person who's called a ******(for those of you who will need this explanation see the at the bottom *) is? We've both been discriminated against for generations, we've both lost jobs because of our backgrounds, people think less of us because of how we talk, and we are both judged by and large by things that we have no control over. The difference is I know I'm not going to stop some asshole from being an asshole, I tell them that they are in fact an asshole, and I go on with my day. Words have exactly as much power over us as we give them. So if you feel like someone hates you because of something that you have no control over, realize that they are in fact small minded assholes and go on, that's on them, not you, and yes sometimes it might cost you something, but in the end it'll be ok, there are always more opportunities.
I may be rambling, but I'll give an anecdote and then I'm done. Back in the day when the English descended Americans made fun of every other ethnicity, the Polish being this example, and began making Polock jokes, do you know how Polish people coped? They made funnier Polock jokes, they took away the power of the people oppressing them by beating them at their own game. I think minorities today could take a lesson from that.
*And as an endnote I say ****** not the "n" word, because having to use little codewords like that is childish, we all know they word, and having to tiptoe around it is just showing how infantile the mentality of people discussing issues about it are. I am not a racist, I've dated women from handful of races and colors, I don't judge people by the color of their skins, but I will not give that word the power to frighten me out of saying it, especially when I'm just using it as an example, the fact that I feel the need to write this is enough to turn my stomach. Its a word, and words can hurt, but people can also get over it.