The Canadian Front
- Thread starter The Wooster
- Start date
I went down to the USA for Christmas. We drove there, and the farthest south I've seen a Tim Horton's was in northern Pennsylvania. It was about 7 in the morning, and I wanted my usual breakfast in Canada. They gave me my blueberry muffin, but for the life of them they didn't know what a white hot chocolate was. Either that or they screwed up my order and gave me that candy cane hot chocolate. Your embassy will hear of this! "Land of the free" my ass when my way of life is being threatened by your savage, backwards culture.
And for the record, I always say "sorry" when I play video games whenever I shoot someone or steal their car. I feel bad when I promise I'd give the car back, and then I run into something and blow it up.
And for the record, I always say "sorry" when I play video games whenever I shoot someone or steal their car. I feel bad when I promise I'd give the car back, and then I run into something and blow it up.
War Of 1812, the Brits pretty much decided to "put America in it's place" and engaged in epic military fail. They moved in largely from Canada and did indeed burn down The White House, and then pretty much wound up being forced into a full scale retreat. There is some powerful symbolism in that "victory", especially for the Anti-American crowd, but for the most part it had the Brits coming in and trying to seize territory and then getting spanked and running like bunnies. You don't hear a lot about it because a lot of the records are spotty, taking a lot to piece together, but it involves things like the "Battle Of Stonington" which you've probably never heard of that more or less summarize the entire war. The enemy came rolling in to take over, ran into resistance, something like 3,000 rounds of ammo were fired, 11 people were killed, and the invaders pretty much decided "F@ck this" and left. All throughout New England (where I live) you'll find little things here and there about it, stories about why cannons are preserved on town greens, and everything else. Simply put The White House was burned but after a point a foothold was pretty much impossible to obtain or maintain, the US was at that point simply too heavily armed and too well trained (as far as such things went). It's been argued that the reality of this failure was one of the major nails in the coffin of the so called "British Colonial Army" due to it's inabillity to put down the rebellion about much propaganda about how easy it was going to be to re-capture the US.Vault Citizen said:
As far as the US invading Canada, we've had some border disputes over timber trading and such, some of which turned violent, but nothing involving a major war. For the most part Canada doesn't really have enough to make it worth the while of the US, and by the time the US was depleted Canada would probably have gotten there first. This is why the "invasion of Canada" is a recurring joke.
I seem to remember that in Fallout the invasion of Canada was largely due to rising liberal sentiment in the region and how Canada pretty much went communist and joined with China, acting as a beach head for Chinese forces. The whole thing being a sort of analogy to the "Cuban Missle Crisis" where China was putting forces (missles, etc...) directly on the US border with Canadian permission, leading to the US to invade Canada for strategic reasons, and it setting off the full nuclear exchange much like a lot of people feared would have happened over The Cuban Missle Crisis if the US had been forced to attack to prevent Russian missle placement.... It's been a while, and I admit I don't remember where I read that it was an analogy to The Cuban Missle Crisis. Understand that Cuba used to be on really good terms with the US before the communist takeover, which is probably why Canada was used as an analogy, especially given some of Canada's political leanings, and trade/alliances with China, not to mention their problems with getting Quebecois socialists in line. Canada being an ally that would be shocking to an extent if it became an enemy, similar to Cuba, Cuba couldn't be used the same way because nowadays everyone kind of views them as an enemy state even if there isn't much active antagonism going on right now.
That said... I will never be able to view Tim Horton's the same way again after reading this strip. >
Yeah, I would expect part of the joke to be lost on people who aren't Canadian or don't understand how big of a deal Tim Hortons is up here. The American soldier referring to it as a "Canadian Mosque" actually put a big smile on my face. The other part of the joke is more obvious. Canadians are notorious for their politeness, so the Canadian sniper apologized after he shot the one American.WanderingFool said:
Ah yes, despite their coffee having lost that glorious taste from when I was in grade 6 and now being no better than the coloured water that abomination starbucks sells, despite their baked goods now being no better than the stuff you get at the dollar store, we shall always protect our sacred ground from would be usurpers.
You may take our land, you may take our freedom, you may take our very lives, but you shall never take our coffee!
In closing, please bow your heads and join me in that most sacred Canadian prayer;
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. Amen.
You may take our land, you may take our freedom, you may take our very lives, but you shall never take our coffee!
In closing, please bow your heads and join me in that most sacred Canadian prayer;
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. Amen.
I don't really have the motivation to debate with people over such things on the internet, but as a military history graduate student I have to say that this is almost entirely incorrect. I mean that in the most respectful way imaginable, but your statement was so wrong that I had to bring it to your attention.Therumancer said:
OT: It seems like quite a few people aren't big fans of Tim Hortons. I still really like them actually, though I'm young enough not to remember "when they were really good." People over 30 or so keep telling me that, but oh well. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.
To be fair, it probably would be easier than most of the follies we've engaged in lately. Canada is much more of a "traditional" foe in that they have standing military forces, armored vehicles, air power, infrastructure and a dedicated Command & Control network. All things the US is very, very good at getting rid of.LordLundar said:That they think it would be that easy?WanderingFool said:
At the very least, it would give our fly boys something more interesting to do other than drop missiles on rocks and dodge poorly aimed and maintained AA munitions.
And besides - how hard can it be to fight an enemy that runs over and to check and see if the guy they just slotted is OK and apologizes for it?
/snark
We did hold the record for the longest sniper kill for several years back in 2002.Draconalis said:
True story of two Canadians:
Me: "Augh! Are you all right?"
Her: "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'll be OK..."
So yes, the stereotype is true.
Me: "Augh! Are you all right?"
Her: "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'll be OK..."
So yes, the stereotype is true.
Someone listened to Weird Al's "Canadian Idiot"
Don't wanna be Canadian idiot, won't figure out the temperature in Celsius
See the map? They're hovering right over us; tell you the truth, it makes me kind of nervous.
Always hear the the same kind of story; break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me, what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to something,
so -quick, before they see it coming- time for a preemptive strike!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NTlHs0ZLLo
Don't wanna be Canadian idiot, won't figure out the temperature in Celsius
See the map? They're hovering right over us; tell you the truth, it makes me kind of nervous.
Always hear the the same kind of story; break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me, what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to something,
so -quick, before they see it coming- time for a preemptive strike!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NTlHs0ZLLo
I'm just imagining a world where this is an everyday event.
*Headshot*
"Sorry." A voice calls out.
*Headshot*
"Sorry." A voice calls out.
There's no need to invade Canada, their government will always go along with ours no matter what we do until we bankrupt ourselves from overspending and ridiculous military adventurism and finally go the way of the Roman Empire - which will not be very great for Canada when it happens. Too bad we can't cut our deficits like you guys.
The "Some kind of Canadian Mosque" bit was killer for me, ALL OF CANADIA WORSHIPS AT THE HOLY TIM HORTONS!
Also I swear I've driven down that road at some point... looks like the area near Golden BC actually... though really a Tim Hortons on the Highway with mountains nearby could be anywhere in Interior BC...
Also I swear I've driven down that road at some point... looks like the area near Golden BC actually... though really a Tim Hortons on the Highway with mountains nearby could be anywhere in Interior BC...