The Customer Is Always Wrong

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MRMIdAS2k

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Apr 23, 2008
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Reaperman Wompa post=18.70218.701361 said:
MRMIdAS2k post=18.70218.701331 said:
I used to work in a comedy club, Said club was located underneath Ponds Forge, a massively famous sports centre in the UK.

We're just off a roundabout, that is the busiest roundabout in Sheffield, due to the fact it's connected to the parkway, which is connected to the M1, which runs london to Scotland.

NOW, we get miss "I'm in a comedy club and I'm so fucking funny, but I can't take a goddamn joke" ordering food from me, convo goes like this:

Her: "do your hotdogs have real dog in them?" (cue hysterical laughter from her friends)
Me: "no, we're WAY to cheap for that, we tend to go out onto the roundabout and scrape up roadkill, it's fine once you pick the gravel out, although there is sometimes a faint taste of rubber that the bleach won't shift".
Her: "Can I see your manager please?"

I MEAN WTF! YOU MADE A GODDAMN JOKE, I COUNTERED WITH MY OWN JOKE! Apparently I was rude and upset her. *****.
lol, what did your manager say?
Nothing.

I just said she told a joke, so I countered with my own joke, and if she doesn't have a sense of humour she shouldn't be in a fucking comedy club.
 

Volucer

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I had a real bad customer today. A lady came in with some flower that she wanted gift wrapping, so I fetched the person who does gift wraps and she said that for something of that size would cost £1.50 and asked if that was alright. Well the tone that the woman put on sounded like we had just told her we had run over her dog. She was going on how our reputation was going down the drain (despite in the past 2 months having a former priminister and the Princess Royal, and a significant rise in sales and customers) and how can we charge nearly as much as the plant for a gift wrap. So I politely and calmly explain that we charge because we need to charge for materials and everything. And she again goes on saying how our reputation is coming downhill, how we charge so much for everything and how in America is would be free to get a gift wrap, so by now I'm just fed up so I tell her "well in that case maybe you should go to America then..." She pauses for a second or too and then in her usual tone asks if she can have a bag to put it in, so I provide a bag big enough to put it in and smile at her in a pleasent way and determined to get the last word she says "Not going to charge me for the bag?" so still smiling, I just say "no, no I think we'll let you have that one for free." She storms off and me and my collegue just turn to each other and laugh.
I love it when customers think that because they are buying something from you and that you're on minimum wage they think you owe them a special service and they can do anything to you, they never expect you to talk back to them.
 

ShadeFox

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Volucer post=18.70218.702872 said:
I had a real bad customer today. A lady came in with some flower that she wanted gift wrapping, so I fetched the person who does gift wraps and she said that for something of that size would cost £1.50 and asked if that was alright. Well the tone that the woman put on sounded like we had just told her we had run over her dog. She was going on how our reputation was going down the drain (despite in the past 2 months having a former priminister and the Princess Royal, and a significant rise in sales and customers) and how can we charge nearly as much as the plant for a gift wrap. So I politely and calmly explain that we charge because we need to charge for materials and everything. And she again goes on saying how our reputation is coming downhill, how we charge so much for everything and how in America is would be free to get a gift wrap, so by now I'm just fed up so I tell her "well in that case maybe you should go to America then..." She pauses for a second or too and then in her usual tone asks if she can have a bag to put it in, so I provide a bag big enough to put it in and smile at her in a pleasent way and determined to get the last word she says "Not going to charge me for the bag?" so still smiling, I just say "no, no I think we'll let you have that one for free." She storms off and me and my collegue just turn to each other and laugh.
I love it when customers think that because they are buying something from you and that you're on minimum wage they think you owe them a special service and they can do anything to you, they never expect you to talk back to them.
Lol the only time I can think of gift wrap possibly being free in the states is like around Christmas and that MIGHT be in a mall department store when you are buying something.
 

doomgaze3

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Nov 29, 2007
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When I was in high school I worked at a one of a small East coast chain of restaurants called Steak 'n Shake. They sell overpriced-but-delicious burgers and hand-dipped milkshakes. I got promoted after graduating and during college to a management position there and often had to handle customer service issues. If you understand the way this chain does business than this is very common as Steak 'n Shake is not well managed as a company.

Anyways, one of our (the management team's) favorite scams was what I will now call the White Trash Free Meal. The area of Ohio I lived in (Hamilton, if you're curious) was a cesspit caught between hardcore 'country' and trailer trash hell. Mixed in along with it was a healthy dose of the ghetto. All these people would mix and reproduce to make little redneck/trailer trash ghetto babies. It was the worst city I've ever seen and the only reason I still go back there is because my best friend lives just outside the city limits.

The way the scam usually worked was this: First, I would get a phone call from someone wanting to speak to a manager. Of course, that was me.

ME: "Thank you for choosing Steak 'n Shake this is XXXX, how may I help you?"
YOKEL (in a horrendous southern drawl): "Hi thar. Is thar a manager in thar I can talk tew?"
ME: "Speaking, sir. What can I do for you?"
YOKEL: "I went through your drive thru about a week ago and my order was completely messed up. Thar was mustard on my all my burgers and we didn't order that. My shakes were all melted and I got strawberry when I ordered choc-co-late. On top of that all my fries were cold."

By now, I could usually see where this was going. Anyone calling who said they got a jacked up order on some other day was usually a scammer. This sends up a red flag to me automatically. These people usually know the common screw ups on orders as they eat there a lot. However, there is still a possibility that this is a legitimate mistake on our part, so I must proceed with caution. My mind flashes with possibilities...

The drive through operator had probably assumed that when the customer said everything, they meant it. We had an Everything button and the operator probably skipped that and went down the list of burger toppings, tapping every one including mustard. The everything button was a misnomer: everything only consisted of lettuce, pickles, onion and mayo - no mustard or tomatoes.

Our shakes were hand dipped and sometimes the fountain operator would add a little too much milk to the mixture and the shake would appear to be thin or melty. There was also the possibility that the drive thru operator kept the shakes a little bit too close to the food warmer where completed orders sit before they go out.

The fries we served were impossible to keep warm. They were these shoestring fries that were about the diameter of a mechanical pencil. They were nice in that they cooked in two and a half minutes but they had to be served almost immediately because they dissipated heat so fast due to their small size. The customer may have gotten old fries or may have simply *driven home* before he ate his meal. All this runs through my mind in a heartbeat.

ME: "I'm very sorry about that, sir. Do you still have your reciept?"

Of course, I already know the answer to this question before I ask it: They never have a reciept. We usually give the customer the benefit of the doubt here because the restaurant was perpetually understaffed and we're always having to run around like chickens with our heads cut off just to stem the goddamn tide. If a customer didn't have a reciept, there was a good chance we fucked up and didn't give them one. I always assume this.

YOKEL: "Naw, I didn't git one." or "I threw it out. The whole meal was trash."

I take a deep breath. They fit the profile so far - he didn't have a reciept, he didn't come through today and his entire order was, according to him, all jacked up. Let's see if they pass the next test:

ME: "What was your order?"

Fire away. I might as well have said "Can I take your free order?"

YOKEL: "We 'ad four double bacon cheese steakburgers with everythang, four large fries and four large chocolate shakes."

Scam. A thirty dollar order. This asshat wanted to feed his whole family on the company's dime under the thin verneer of being a bilked customer. If the guy had said only one his burgers was messed up or only his shakes were melted then I would have had to play ball. I didn't have a problem correcting the odd mistake when we had legitimately screwed up. I usually toss a free shake their way along with replacing whatever we had messed up. Realistically speaking, if he had tried to scam a smaller order then I would have had to give it to him. However, I had zero tolerance for *this* kind of shit.

ME: "Okay, what would you like us to do about this?"
YOKEL: "Well, I want my order replaced. Tha whole thing was all messed up 'an we had tew throw it away."

Of course he does. But I have no intention of giving this jackhole a free ride on my watch. I would play the oldest card in my deck: the reciept.

ME: "Sir, I'm afraid that without a receipt I can't replace your order. I'd be happy to send a free shake your way for your trouble the next time you roll through. Can I get your name?"
YOKEL (now becoming indignant): "Well that's not 'far. I wanna speak to your boss right now."

At this point, if someone who outranked me was around, I handed the phone off to him. Our boss, Dave, had been a former high ranking executive of Frisch's (better known as Big Boy's) and was working the store manager beat to "prove his worth" to the top brass before he was given a middle management position. The guy had worked his way up from dishwasher to VP of Sales. He had a way of handling these kinds of fucktards that was beyond me. But if Dave wasn't there...

ME: "I'm sorry but he's not here right now but I'll do my best to service you."
YOKEL: "This is rediculous. I want my meal replaced right now! I paid my hard earned money for your overpriced burgers and you can't even get them right. [etc etc etc]"
ME: "As I said before, sir, I'm very sorry that this happened to you but I cannot replace your meal without a reciept to back me up. I'd get into trouble."

This is a lie but he doesn't know that. I had the power to comp (verb: complementary meal) any check I wanted to. However, it would show up as a comped check on the End of Day report the following day and I would have to answer for it. I wouldn't get into anything too serious unless there were consistent problems on my watch.

YOKEL: "[usual angry white trash routine]"
ME: "I'd be happy to help you out if you could find the reciept, sir. Otherwise there's nothing I can really do for you."
YOKEL: "[raises his voice and spits out the same bullshit about me, my mother, my restaurant, my crew, asks for my name, my boss' name, the number for the District Manager. The works.]"
ME: "[gives him the information]"
YOKEL: "Thanks fer nothing, asshole. You'll be lucky if you have your job next week." Click.

Sometimes they call and complain and sometimes they don't. Most of the time, they don't. If they do, then the company will usually smell through their bullshit and just send them some small token gift certificates to shut them up.

However, the situation changed a bit around a year later: We upgraded our computer Point of Sale system. Now, we had the capability to search ALL orders up to a month back. So, we back up to the reciept point...

ME: "That's fine. Can you tell me what day you came in and around what time?"
YOKEL: "[long pause]"

At this point, he already knows he's fucked.

YOKEL: "Uhhhh, I came in on [XDay] between [XTime] and [YTime]."
ME: "Alright, can you please hold on a moment while I review our records?"
YOKEL: "Sure."

With a spring in my step, I go back to our office and search up all the drive through orders around the time he specifies. As expected, there are no orders anywhere close to matching his fictional order.

ME: "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't find any record of your order. Are you sure of the day and time you came in?"
YOKEL: [now fumbling in the dark] "Uhh, it might have been [YDay]."
ME: "Okay, please hold while I check again."

There's still a slim chance that this could be legit, so I have to cover my bases. He also knows there's a slim chance that somebody put in an order similar to his fictional one if I check on a different day. Rarely, there is and I have to comp the order. But that's the minority of the time.

ME: "I'm sorry, sir, but I still can't find your check in our system."
YOKEL [becoming indignant again]: "Well, yer systim is wrong. I know I came through there. [etc etc]"
ME: "With all due respect, sir, our system does not 'lose' checks. All transactions are logged to our database."
YOKEL: "[reverts to same routine as above]"
ME: "Sir, I don't believe you came in here at all and are trying to scam a meal. I am reporting this as an annoyance call and I have your name and number on our CallerID. If you try to pull this again, I will call the police and have you arrested for petty fraud. Don't call here again."
YOKEL [as I hang up]: "[goes nuclear]" Click.

Later on, the scammers would get smarter and actually come through and pay for their order. Then they would call back with the same story a few days later and get the same thing again for free.

I hate the restaurant business and I especially hate Hamilton, Ohio. The moral of the story here, kids, is always be nice to your food service folks. Yes, there are those that are lazy sacks of shit and could care less about their jobs, however the vast majority of folks care about their work and take pride in it. They have to put up with more bullshit for less money than is reasonable or safe. Being considerate of them costs nothing compared to the immeasurable contribution you can give to their day by making them feel like real human beings instead of the doormats everyone else probably treats them like.

The end.
 
Feb 13, 2008
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I find it worrying how many managers working their way up are called Dave.

Next time someone does try it Doomgaze, make sure there's a 'special sauce' on the burgers.

Even better, really screw up their order badly and say the computer can't find it.

Or start talking in a mock Indian accent and get them to repeat everything 5 times.

Or let them know their call is charged at a dollar-fifty per minute.

Or ask them if the burgers tasted "almondy" in any way...and then sound alarmed and talk secretly to someone...

Oh I'd have a field day there. For one day.
 

ShadeFox

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Aug 30, 2008
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I love how people will just say the manager on duty at my store was a woman, at my current store its true that 2/3s of the managers are women and Hispanic so most scammers can get away with a small thing or two. But I love the ones you catch :D

I just had one today who claimed that she didnt receive 3 of her fries and that all she remember that the night before there was a woman manager, the funny thing is.... a MAN was working that shift, Uhoh!

another thing I enjoy on the overnight shift is when you work it two nights in a row, because people somehow deduce that because I work the graveyard shift I'm their "buddy" and will hook them up with free fries, burgers etc.
But the main thing is that I get to catch all the people that say,
"Well the manager that was here last night let me do it."
"Well who was it, I will have to have a talk with them."
"Oh it was some short Hispanic lady, I she didn't have a name tag."
"Ma'am, I worked last night and I didn't allow anyone to get that <insert discount/old promotion/expired coupon here>, nor will I accept it now."

The fun thing about my store is that its on a major road like 10 mins from another store on that same major road, the only difference between the stores has to be the number on the address thingy or something, so we get pissed off customers talking about they came through the Drive thru 5mins ago and etc etc etc was wrong, so I pull up our history thing and I cant find anything NEAR it and tell them this, which only serves to piss them off more because the KNOW they went to this store and they want a replacement. 90% of the time they will say that the was in the window when they came through, which we will have and working, then and ONLY then will they ask if we are the other store, in which I will say no and they apologize, surprisingly, and ask for the number/say goodbye.

And I may be growing more and more cynical by each passing month, but I still try to treat each situation as if they are innocent until a red flag smacks me in the face.
 

doomgaze3

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The_root_of_all_evil post=18.70218.704411 said:
I find it worrying how many managers working their way up are called Dave.

Next time someone does try it Doomgaze, make sure there's a 'special sauce' on the burgers.

Even better, really screw up their order badly and say the computer can't find it.

Or start talking in a mock Indian accent and get them to repeat everything 5 times.

Or let them know their call is charged at a dollar-fifty per minute.

Or ask them if the burgers tasted "almondy" in any way...and then sound alarmed and talk secretly to someone...

Oh I'd have a field day there. For one day.
I haven't worked there since I was 19. I'm 27 now and those days are far behind me. And I never could bring myself to do anything to somebody's food. That would just bring me down to their level. In addition, the grill and dressing line were in plain view from the entire front of the store. It would have been difficult (if not impossible) to get away with polluting someone's meal even if I wanted to.
 

doomgaze3

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Nov 29, 2007
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Found a photo of the place... This is the actual one I worked at all those years ago.
http://flickr.com/photos/billyv/303953510/in/photostream/

... Brings back memories.
 

Trace2010

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Aug 10, 2008
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Good to see you again Xhumed:

My favorite part of my job comes into play when I have other parents/teachers/administrators trying to tell me what I can or can not do in my band room. My favorite arguments:

1) Students should not be penalized for missing concerts- unfortunately that is what the TEKS subject matter in the state of Texas tells us to do
2) All students should be allowed to play percussion if they want to (NO, if all the students could do exactly what they wanted, then I would only have a band of percussionists, trumpets and saxophones-NOT GOOD)
 

Xhumed

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Jun 15, 2008
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Trace2010 post=18.70218.704506 said:
Good to see you again Xhumed:

My favorite part of my job comes into play when I have other parents/teachers/administrators trying to tell me what I can or can not do in my band room. My favorite arguments:

1) Students should not be penalized for missing concerts- unfortunately that is what the TEKS subject matter in the state of Texas tells us to do
2) All students should be allowed to play percussion if they want to (NO, if all the students could do exactly what they wanted, then I would only have a band of percussionists, trumpets and saxophones-NOT GOOD)
Thank you, nice to see you again too, Trace2010
 

doomgaze3

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Nov 29, 2007
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Darth Mobius post=18.70218.704509 said:
doomgaze3 post=18.70218.704502 said:
Found a photo of the place... This is the actual one I worked at all those years ago.
http://flickr.com/photos/billyv/303953510/in/photostream/

... Brings back memories.
That looks a lot like the one next to my house in Bloomington, Indiana...
I know that one's mine for sure because 1) The guy who took it lives in Hamilton and 2) You can see the Hollywood Video rental store next to it (to the left side of the photo). See similar store design here: http://www.bwmtexas.com/photos/hollywood.jpg
 

Jindrak

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Jan 11, 2008
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I'll have to go with this little exchange:
(A: Myself, B: Customers)
A: So what can I get you guys to drink?
B: Miller Lite.
A: Uh...huh, can I see your ID?
B: ...I left it at home.
A: So I figured, well you can't have alcohol without it.
B: Come on, I've got a beard!
A: So does my grandmother, what does that mean?
B: Come on, I'm 24!
A: You're wearing a HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL JACKET. Leave. Moron.

I rarely insult customers, this was a special day. :)
 

Reaperman Wompa

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Aug 6, 2008
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TheNecroswanson post=18.70218.704645 said:
Reaperman Wompa post=18.70218.704636 said:
The Necroswanson: I am your new fan club. That is all.
YAY! Being the first you have been promoted to, "Minion Overwatch" status.
Do i get a whip? My last job i only got a small hammer and some encouraging stickers.
 

Reaperman Wompa

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Aug 6, 2008
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TheNecroswanson post=18.70218.704667 said:
Reaperman Wompa post=18.70218.704659 said:
TheNecroswanson post=18.70218.704645 said:
Reaperman Wompa post=18.70218.704636 said:
The Necroswanson: I am your new fan club. That is all.
YAY! Being the first you have been promoted to, "Minion Overwatch" status.
Do i get a whip? My last job i only got a small hammer and some encouraging stickers.
Actually you get two. Productivity comes with a whip for each hand.
BEST JOB EVER!!!
 

ShadeFox

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Aug 30, 2008
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That sounds just how bad mine was until a year or so ago.

I went in there late on July 4th and ordered some food for me and my dad, so I pay, wait a eternity or two and get a bag handed to me that is the order of the guy AFTER me, so I give him his food and get the attention of an employee and it goes as follows,
"Excuse me could I get my order please, its been a long time and the guy behind me already got his food."
"That was your order sir."
"No it wasn't it was his, I would like mine."
"Sir I can't give you your order, you gave it away to the other gentleman."
"..."
At this point my dad walks in, 6 foot something retired coast guard so he is kind of intimidating,
D:"Whats the problem?"
M:"They are saying I gave our order away when it was the guy behind me's order and are refusing to make it."
D:"Do you think my son is so ignorant that he would give away our food then lie to you about not getting it?"
Now the cashier just takes my receipt and gets the order rather quickly, which I never return for over a year or so and to my delight they fix up the place. :D