I work part time at McDonald's, a customer once asked me if we still do Happy Meals, I stared at him for a bit then said yes.
The Customer Is Always Wrong
- Thread starter Xhumed
- Start date
Note : There's a reason we still don't have 2008 diaries. It's FUCKING OCTOBER, so don't get so upset you scum.
Sorry, just needed to say that after today.
Sorry, just needed to say that after today.
OK, so these range from wtf to not really...Digitalpotato post=18.70218.791584 said:
- Salad Dressing? It most certainly exists.
- You better expect mayo, because you're not getting it!
- Do you understand the concept of Stir Fry? Granted, you couldn't do that either...but an oven?
Late summer 200...7 i believe. I went into Hollywood Video, and picked out a movie. When I went to the counter, and gave him my card, he told me there was a $100 something late fee on The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion for Xbox 360, from January of that year. I said I couldn't pay that right now, and checked out the movie. Halfway to my car, I realized that I had sold my Xbox 360 late fall of the year before, after getting it fixed from the RROD. I would not have rented a video game for a system I didn't own anymore. Also, I didn't sell my Xbox 360 games until the February-March after the supposed video game check-in. I had owned Oblivion. I would not have rented a video game that I had OWNED at the time. Back to the "present", I returned the movie that I had rented a few days later, and asked the person at the register about the late fee for the video game, and he said he'd remove it for me. Very cool of him, considering I didn't even explain the above points to him yet. Does leave an interesting question in my mind, that I haven't solved to this day: How did this happen?I Am Pigeon post=18.70218.786895 said:
A stupid costumer story of my own is coming up, but first an explanation of what I do:
I volunteer for a group that goes around to various places (schools, events, etc.) and show reptiles and amphibians, teaching the public about them, and letting them pet them. I am one of the snake people. We sit, holding snakes, and answer questions, and allow people to pet the snakes. My job wouldn't exist if the general population had the accumulated IQ of anything smarter than a grapefruit. My primary snake that I work with, and bring to places, is my personal pet Ball Python. She is about 2 feet long, and very laid back.
Here is an answer sheet, covering the most common questions and comments that I have to deal with:
-Yes it's real. I don't spend over 200 hours a year, VOLUNTEER, going around to places, and dealing with THESE sorts of people, with a fake snake. My life may be pathetic, but even I have better ways to kill time before my end.
-No, it's not poisonous. I would not be owning it, holding it, bringing it to highly populated places with no barriers between it and the population, or letting people pet it, if it was.
-No, this, a Ball PYTHON, is not poisonous. Which rock do you live under, again? I hope it's warm there.
-Yes, it does bite. CONSTANTLY. Can't you tell, by how it's just sitting there, sleeping (viciously)?
-Yes, it CAN bite. It has a mouth. I'm more likely to bite you than she is though (especially considering how my respect for the patron is spiraling down towards the ground at terminal velocity, by now, and my practically infallible temper is beginning to flare.).
-No, I'm not concerned about her eating me. (Keep in mind we're talking about a 2 foot 4 and 1/4 inch long snake, that is just over an inch thick.)
-No, the 2 foot long snake cannot kill you from 30 feet away. There's no reason to stand that far away, especially since you just plowed through 5 people running away after you spotted me. The table between where I'm sitting, and where you are is longer than the snake itself. You could stand as close as you possibly could, and you'd still be safe.
-No, it's not slimy. If it was, I would be soaking wet.
-(At the Renaissance Festival) (Usually exclaimed from women, but i've heard variations from both genders) KEEP THAT FILTHY THING AWAY FROM ME! (S/he obviously doesn't see the humor in his/her statement, let alone the fact that I washed my hands more times in the past few hours than you have in the past 2 days, simply because it's the RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL.)
Keep in mind that as I'm writing this, the vicious Ball Python mentioned is curled around my neck, dozing (viciously).
So there you go. My job 1.)Relies on people being stupid, 2.)Requires me to spend hours and hours talking to said stupids, and 3.)Is something that I don't even get paid for. I do it because I want to educate people, reducing the number of stupids in the world.
There are parts that I really enjoy though. Convincing somebody who is deathly afraid of snakes to come up and pet one, then talk with them for about 10 minutes, and watch as they walk away with a smile on their face, is something that makes this job worth it. There's always the intelligent people (Usually 1 or 2 a day), that are actually fun to talk to. Talking with them is an absolute joy. There are also the people, while not particularly intelligent, are not stupid either. The thing that makes them not stupid is the fact that they ask real questions, some of which actually challenge me. It's a nice brain exercise, and the only thing stopping my mind from atrophying (sp?) away from lack of use (thanks to automated responses, and general autopilot, brought on from lack of sleep).
Apologies for the poorly formatted post. I pretty much just wrote things down as they spewed forth from my demented, twisted mind.
Pardon my random aside to say that you have an awesome first post.HydraZulu post=18.70218.791960 said:
Thanks. I actually surf the Escapist forums often, but this was the thread that prompted me to make an account. I felt that, being my job relies on the public being thicker than concrete, I almost had an obligation to share my stories. I'm actually always very polite when I'm working, and answer every question seriously, and truthfully, no matter how ridiculous it may be. That is partly what helps keep me sane (...well...safe), and one of the few things that keeps me from getting fired, and banned from every place with a capacity of over 20 people. To illustrate my dedication to this work (I love doing it), I logged 151 hours at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival this year, out of a possible total of 160 hours. That means that in 16 days, with 10 hours each day, I took only 9 hours off. Bear in mind that you are only required to work 4 hours each day. THAT is why I am a zombie due to lack of sleep.NewClassic post=18.70218.791974 said:
I normally don't talk so badly about the people that I educate, but even I have to rant every once in a while.
Why didn't you keep them for you ? it's lost, and I doubt they were infected with teh ghey or some form of mental retardation...Xhumed post=18.70218.788674 said:
Reminds me that I saw some fucktards open those little individual bags of crisps or salty roasted peanuts, or even biscuits in a supermarket where I was shopping, turns out they were just before me in the line, and they had the nerve to ask the cashier that they only charge them for what was left in the packet when they checked out... I swear I had a whole frozen chicken and a pack of 6 2l bottles of coke in my cart... I SO wanted to bash them on the head, I still think I might have gotten a discount on my purchase that day...
Reminds me also that it makes me boil when I see people open the bags of crisps, bottles of fruit juices and bags of candies they are carrying, even if they pay the whole price in the end when they check out, because I know there is always a certain chance they'll try to hide an empty bag somewhere n the shop. Either that, or when I want to buy a pack of candy bars I have a positive chance of grabbing first the one those morons have opened to get one or two bars, one of them probably will never be paid by the way...
HyrdaZulu> Do they agree to sell you mice for your python in pet shops ? I recall an Alice Cooper roadie who had to argue for 20 minutes with a cashier until the manager came in and let him buy the mice for Alice's python... And I don't have a clue what's the official stance for pet shops regarding feeding snakes...
Digitalpotato> gherkins is the yiddish name (in fact it's gherkele) for the big "kosher pickles" you put in sandwiches and hamburgers, it comes from the German Gurke, which means cucumber, and the recipe is not originally kosher, it's more or less malossol, a russian recipe for conservation of pickles in a mixture of saltwater, vinegar, onions and herbs.
The MOAR You Know...
I buy my rodents frozen from a reptile shop. I simply thaw them out before I feed them to my snake, and she doesn't mind a bit. It's safer for the snake (live food fights back), and a more humane end for the mouse (co2 gas chamber versus snake).Cyclomega post=18.70218.792070 said:
I don't see a problem with buying mice from a pet shop, just don't tell them why you're buying them. Some places will sell them to you anyways, though. I personally think that even if you were to feed live, buy from a reptile shop. The mice in pet shops are meant to be pets.
I have no problem with people feeding live, but only if the snake will not take f/t (frozen/thawed), or fresh killed, and they have refused to eat for a long enough time where it would be unhealthy for the snake to continue to not eat. [blunt]If you feed live for any other reason, it is either ignorance, or that you enjoy watching a tiny little animal die.[/blunt]
I used to work for a franchise called "Chick-fil-A", and one night I was working register with a friend of mine.
So this guy walks in on his cell phone, and buys a chicken sandwich. First off, he complains that it costs $4, and how he paid $3.50 last time... he even spun the "monitor" around to make sure we weren't scamming him.
So then he goes and sits down, makes a few calls, and starts eating 5 mins later. He takes a bite and looks unhappy. He goes up to the counter and starts complaining about how he thought that food here was "warm".
I say: "No offense sir, but we saw you sitting their for quite awhile before you started eating. If you remember, you almost burned your finger when we gave you the order..."
"I'm going to need to talk to your manager!"
"He's not here right now, only the junior manager is here tonight."
"Well get him!"
"That would be me..." (Points to my name tag which says: "Junior Manager")
Then he yells:
"I THOUGHT THIS PLACE IS CHRISTIAN!"
and storms out.
Everyone in the restaurant had heard heard out argument. So these kids who had been throwing their trash out who were about to leave before we started fighting were just standing there.
One of them turns around and says "What the FUCK?"
And the guy working register with me just said "Yeah"
College......
So this guy walks in on his cell phone, and buys a chicken sandwich. First off, he complains that it costs $4, and how he paid $3.50 last time... he even spun the "monitor" around to make sure we weren't scamming him.
So then he goes and sits down, makes a few calls, and starts eating 5 mins later. He takes a bite and looks unhappy. He goes up to the counter and starts complaining about how he thought that food here was "warm".
I say: "No offense sir, but we saw you sitting their for quite awhile before you started eating. If you remember, you almost burned your finger when we gave you the order..."
"I'm going to need to talk to your manager!"
"He's not here right now, only the junior manager is here tonight."
"Well get him!"
"That would be me..." (Points to my name tag which says: "Junior Manager")
Then he yells:
"I THOUGHT THIS PLACE IS CHRISTIAN!"
and storms out.
Everyone in the restaurant had heard heard out argument. So these kids who had been throwing their trash out who were about to leave before we started fighting were just standing there.
One of them turns around and says "What the FUCK?"
And the guy working register with me just said "Yeah"
College......
I used to work at a Pizza Hut. I was a cook, so I didn't get to see much customer interaction. I was tasked to assemble the pizzas, run them through the oven, slice them, and box them up.
My store was in a certain part of town that had... ahem, people of the "Ghetto" persuasion often coming to the store. Well, one day I was busy at my station boxing up a gigantic order of spicy chicken wings. I believe the count was two boxes, 40 wings in all. A huge order. Well this customer gets my attention from behind the counter asking for her hot wings. Nobody else was at the counter and I had assumed that she had already paid for her order, as it had just came out of the oven. I was very busy, distracted, new employee, and also very tired. So, I gave it to her. She then takes her boxes and very slowly and leisurely walks out the door. I shrug and continue with my busy work. About three minutes later, the cashier and the shift manager approach me asking where the customer and/or the hot wings order had gone. I told them what had happened and they both RAN out the door hoping to chase her down or something. Thankfully I wasn't blamed for what had happened, or atleast all I remember. "OH NOES GET DA HOT WINGS!!"
About a year later I was working at a Subway. Oh man, what a job. I had mountains of customer stories, but the best one I can think of is pretty short and sweet. I was waiting on a girl that looked like she was about 15 or so, no noticable handicaps or mental condition. Just a normal girl.
"Ma'am, what size would you like your sandwhich?"
"What size are there?"
"Six inches, and a foot long."
"..."
"Which one is shorter?"
"..."
"That would be the six inch."
"Oh, ok. I'll take that one"
My store was in a certain part of town that had... ahem, people of the "Ghetto" persuasion often coming to the store. Well, one day I was busy at my station boxing up a gigantic order of spicy chicken wings. I believe the count was two boxes, 40 wings in all. A huge order. Well this customer gets my attention from behind the counter asking for her hot wings. Nobody else was at the counter and I had assumed that she had already paid for her order, as it had just came out of the oven. I was very busy, distracted, new employee, and also very tired. So, I gave it to her. She then takes her boxes and very slowly and leisurely walks out the door. I shrug and continue with my busy work. About three minutes later, the cashier and the shift manager approach me asking where the customer and/or the hot wings order had gone. I told them what had happened and they both RAN out the door hoping to chase her down or something. Thankfully I wasn't blamed for what had happened, or atleast all I remember. "OH NOES GET DA HOT WINGS!!"
About a year later I was working at a Subway. Oh man, what a job. I had mountains of customer stories, but the best one I can think of is pretty short and sweet. I was waiting on a girl that looked like she was about 15 or so, no noticable handicaps or mental condition. Just a normal girl.
"Ma'am, what size would you like your sandwhich?"
"What size are there?"
"Six inches, and a foot long."
"..."
"Which one is shorter?"
"..."
"That would be the six inch."
"Oh, ok. I'll take that one"
We couldn't- after I alerted my team leader, he recorded the loss and binned them- health and safety (apparently someone could have put ANYTHING in there, or could have necrotizing fasciitis or some such. I know it's unlikely, but them's the breaks.)Cyclomega post=18.70218.792070 said:
Working at Gamestop has brought me into contact with lots of stupid people, but I usually go about answering their stupid questions with kindness. After all, it is a gamestore...
But sometimes, it just irritates me when a customer is clearly wrong, but they don't have the mental capacity to understand it; I quote: "No, I wanted Super Mario Galaxy on the Xbox 360! Don't you people even listen to me? I want to have a talk with your manager!"
The hilarious part was, the head manager for all of California was visiting that day and helping out. He was the one helping her. Somehow, he was able to keep a straight face until she left the store. I, however, wasn't.
But sometimes, it just irritates me when a customer is clearly wrong, but they don't have the mental capacity to understand it; I quote: "No, I wanted Super Mario Galaxy on the Xbox 360! Don't you people even listen to me? I want to have a talk with your manager!"
The hilarious part was, the head manager for all of California was visiting that day and helping out. He was the one helping her. Somehow, he was able to keep a straight face until she left the store. I, however, wasn't.
Oh yep I know what Stir-Fry is. We just can't do it since we lack the proper equipment. (I actually know how to make that.)clarinetJWD post=18.70218.791765 said:
Used to work in the grocery section of a Wal-Mart.
Was stocking some kinda cereal one day, after a long 8 hours already, and I was tired. Some old lady comes up to me and asks me where to find cereal. I look at her very hard for a second, then explain to her she is right beside it. She then asks for my help to bend down and grab a box off a lower shelf. I do so, and then hand her the box. She takes it, and immediately sprays me with anti-rape pepper spray.
I'm howling in agony, and this lady starts screaming. Customers come running from everywhere, and my manager comes around the corner at the same time. My manager has no idea what to do. I shove my way through the crowd, grab a 1L water bottle and empty it all into my eyes. Didn't help one bit. I start yelling at my manager to call the cops.
Cops show up shortly, I'm still in crazy pain. They call an ambulance, but don't arrest the old psycho because she didn't know what she was doing.
2 days later, the same old lady comes into the store again. I see her, and lose it. I walk up to her, start screaming at her about what a ***** she is. She goes white, hits the ground. I call an ambulance and start CPR. Ambulance gets here and takes her away.
Later that night, she died from heart failure. I was fired, but have never been happier in my LIFE.
Was stocking some kinda cereal one day, after a long 8 hours already, and I was tired. Some old lady comes up to me and asks me where to find cereal. I look at her very hard for a second, then explain to her she is right beside it. She then asks for my help to bend down and grab a box off a lower shelf. I do so, and then hand her the box. She takes it, and immediately sprays me with anti-rape pepper spray.
I'm howling in agony, and this lady starts screaming. Customers come running from everywhere, and my manager comes around the corner at the same time. My manager has no idea what to do. I shove my way through the crowd, grab a 1L water bottle and empty it all into my eyes. Didn't help one bit. I start yelling at my manager to call the cops.
Cops show up shortly, I'm still in crazy pain. They call an ambulance, but don't arrest the old psycho because she didn't know what she was doing.
2 days later, the same old lady comes into the store again. I see her, and lose it. I walk up to her, start screaming at her about what a ***** she is. She goes white, hits the ground. I call an ambulance and start CPR. Ambulance gets here and takes her away.
Later that night, she died from heart failure. I was fired, but have never been happier in my LIFE.
Anyone who works in a restaurant knows that the customers believe your all one person, I work as a busser in NYC and il hear things like "hey, another glass of wine?" so I say "Sure!" and never see that person for the rest of the night.
My friend who worked in a grocery store long ago used to just tell every person with a question "Three isles down and make a right", he said eventually he'd get as many people in the same isle as possible, to the point where it was a crowd of confused looking people.
My friend who worked in a grocery store long ago used to just tell every person with a question "Three isles down and make a right", he said eventually he'd get as many people in the same isle as possible, to the point where it was a crowd of confused looking people.
I work at Best Buy (oh the glamour) and we beat the general public over the head with the fact that we do not work on commission, unlike Futureshop. There are commercials, buttons, it's in the flyer, we tell them when we do sales, just everything.
One day, a coworker and I were helping a guy with a PS3, and he paused, looked at us, and went "Aren't you two going to fight over who gets the sale and the commission?"
Me: No. 1)We don't work on commission.
Coworker: 2) we're so laid back it could be considered lazy.
Customer: ...... Oh.
Then there are the countless "Oh, so you and futureshop are the same, right? Hrr hrrr.."
http://www.notalwaysright.com has some hilarious quotes from the service industry. XD
One day, a coworker and I were helping a guy with a PS3, and he paused, looked at us, and went "Aren't you two going to fight over who gets the sale and the commission?"
Me: No. 1)We don't work on commission.
Coworker: 2) we're so laid back it could be considered lazy.
Customer: ...... Oh.
Then there are the countless "Oh, so you and futureshop are the same, right? Hrr hrrr.."
http://www.notalwaysright.com has some hilarious quotes from the service industry. XD