A friend of mine owns a tobacco shop. Virtually nothing in the shop can be sold to anyone under 18, as 90% of it either contains tobacco or is intended for tobacco use. Also, he sells adult oriented materials, aka movies, toys, etc. that are all prominantly displayed. Due to this he has a strict carding policy to even be in the store. There are numerous signs displayed on the door and around the cashier area to this effect. (My favorite shows the standard "We ID" info, with a little blurb he added underneath that says "No ID? Then I'm going to have to ask you to Fuck Off.") If anyone walks in the door and looks younger than 30, they are automatically carded. Every time, even if they've been in everyday for a month and are on a first name basis with the owner. Additionally, he has some other carding guidelines (If you are wearing a high school t-shirt/sweatshirt you get carded. If you have writing on your hands, you get carded. If you ask where the cheep pipes are, you get carded.) Despite this fact, most people seem to believe they don't need an ID. Most transactions go down something like this:
Group of 5 or 6 people walk in.
Owner: Do you guys have your IDs on you?
4 or 5 people show ID's
Last person(s) tries to blend in with the rest of his/her friends.
Owner: Can I see your ID?
LP: Oh, I don't have it with me.
Owner: I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside.
Friends: It's ok (s)he's over 18.
Owner: I'm sorry, but without ID I can't sell him/her anything. And as long as she is with your group I can't sell you anything because you might be buying it for them.
Group talks among itself for a few seconds, then the person without ID leaves, ususally with a small part of the group to keep them company.
Another scenario I've seen him get a number of times goes like this:
Young black man enters store
YBM: Give me 5 phillies. (Phillie blunts are a cheap cigar, that, among other features, is fairly easy to unroll, allowing you to replace it's contents with the "tobacco" of your choice.)
Owner: Ok, I'll need to see some ID before I can make the sale.
YBM: No, it's okay dude. I'm XX (insert appropriate age for tobacco purchase here).
Owner: I still need to see ID. State Law.
YBM: What? You don't think I look XX? Do I look like a little kid to you?
Owner: I'm sorry, state law. I can't sell you any tobacco products without ID.
YBM: It's cause I'm Black, isn't it? #@$* I'm never coming back to this store again, you racist Mother Fucker!
It really does go down just like that. As if there is some corelation between a patrons skin color and a state law requiring the store to ID them!
Another irritant is the general level stupidity of some people who pay with credit/debit cards. It's usually a guy who'll try to use a card with a name like Jodi or Sarah on it. Now maybe, just maybe, that is there name, but usually not. So, once again it's time to see the ID:
Owner: Can I see your ID again for a minute?
Customer: Oh, it's okay. It's my Mom/Sister/Girlfriend/Wife's card.
Owner: I'm sorry, we don't take third party cards.
Customer: No, it's okay. My name is on the account too.
Owner: Well, your name isn't on the card. I can't accept it.
Customer: Here let me call them up...
Owner: I'm sorry, I can't take it over the phone. They'd have to be here for me to take it.
Customer: Oh, never mind then.
It's right up there with people who don't sign their cards, then when you go to ID them want to signt the card right there in front of you and then expect you to take it. Umm, NO.
Another type of idiot that likes to come in is the stupid stoner. As the store carries a lot of tobacco paraphanalia (i.e. pipes, hooka's, bubblers), a lot of people use them for other uses as well. That's all well and good. We don't care what you do with it once you get it home. Just don't be stupid in the store. Inevitably, someone will say something they shouldn't though.
Customer: *mentions illegal substance*
Owner: I'm sorry, What???
Customer: *repeats themselves*
Owner: I don't know what you mean. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Customer: *tries to explain themselves, but just digs a bigger hole*
Owner: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Customer: Huh, what?
Owner: Sorry, you're going to have to leave.
Customer: *heads to the door, completely confused*
These are just the daily idiots. I know there are better stories, but I can't think of them at the moment. I will post again later if I remember them.
). That's generally okay. Unless those times they stick around. 