The Customer Is Always Wrong

[pieeater911]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

If a man wants a burger he should go to a place that actually makes burgers. We had a copy of our menu stuck to the front door and burgers where nowhere to be seen. And we had no ground beef at all because the food me made did not require it, so I couldn't make a burger even if I wanted to.

Again I say, if you want a burger, go to Burger King or another place that sells burgers, not a Japanese Hibachi restaurant.

 

[Yoshi-Pop]

I work in a gaming arcade, so yes, I encountered stupid customers and complaints every moment, of every day. I suppose I could cover some highlights, so I think I shall.

I work as an attendant. That's not manager, nor regional manager, just attendant. It's a simple, bottom-level job. So, as I make my attendance rounds, I'm approached by a woman, furious that a machine took her tokens, yet did not give her any games. This is a frequent problem, so I ask her which machine. She walks me to a machine that has an out of order sign hanging on the screen, the same machine, which is very clearly turned off. I tell her, as non-sarcastically as I can, "Ma'am, the machine took your money because the machine is turned off."
"Well," was her instant reply, "turn it on."
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"And whyyy not?" Oh cute, she was looking down on me at this point.
"Because it's broken, ma'am."
"Why ain't you fixed it?" Oh, beautiful vocabulary, ma'am.
"I'm afraid to say the part we need hasn't come in yet, I'll be glad to refund your tokens, though. How much did you put in the machine?"
I figured 2, since it was two per play. Pretty obvious assumption, as I slid my hand into my comp-token pocket. "Ten."
"Ten?" I ask, making sure I heard that right.
"Mmmm-hm!" She replied, gesturing about the machine, "Ya'll gonna fix it soon?"
"Yes ma'am," I said, comping her the maximum allowed 8 tokens, "as soon as the part comes in. Let me know if you have any more questions."
"'Kay." She said, leaning over to put two more tokens into the clearly broken arcade. Safe to say, I had to put tape over the coin slots before she'd stopped. Dear God, was common sense all but lost?

Another incident, another one that is very dear to my heart. We've had one machine that was nothing but a headache. Broke constantly, never did as it was supposed to, but most definitely the most popular machine. I sure as hell couldn't figure it out, but I'm just a grunt, so I couldn't very well remove it. Well, I get a knock on the office door (required to be closed when counting and changing money, especially where the safe is concerned), and I open it to find a very irate looking woman, and her small child crying into her leg. "One 'a ya'll's machines is broken."
"Okay, which one?" Please don't be the one I'm thinking...
She walked me to the monolithic yellow doom-arcade. "This one."
"Okay, what did it do?"
"Well, I pressed the prize button, and it ain't drop the prize." Figures...
"Okay, lemme try something." I tested the coin drop, and the prize sleeve, they both worked, but the prize was stuck, and wouldn't drop.
"Ma'am, it doesn't seem to be working right, please try another prize from the same bracket."
"Can ya'll make this one work?"
I didn't have the keys to open that part of the cabinet, much less the tools or the technical knowledge to fix that kinda faulty design. "No ma'am, but there is a similar (only different color) prize on this arm over here."
"She," motioning to her daughter, "ain't want that one."
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for that, ma'am."
"Ya'll can't? What's yer name, kid?"
Oh ho, I can see where this is headed. Screw the fact that my name was pretty clearly written on my employee lanyard. "Taylor, ma'am."
"Well, Taylor, lemme talk to ya'll's manager."
Fun... "The manager isn't in, ma'am."
"Can ya'll call him?"
At home? Not just no, but hell "No ma'am. Although he will be in tomorrow morning, until then, I can refund some of the tokens you put in this machine. How many did you use?"
"Eight dollas." Dear God, the prize was a miniature slinky... And very clearly over my maximum allotted.
"I'm afraid I can't refund that much ma'am." She's already asked for your manager, think fast, skippy. "How about I refund as much as I'm allowed to, which is 8 tokens, and give you a 50 ticket or less prize from the counter (Which had larger slinkies, oddly enough)?"
"Okay." She said, got her daughter a big, colorful slinky, and left the store, all smiles.
A complaint was ready for me when I got to work the next afternoon. The hell is wrong with people?

I could go on and on, with nothing but similar instances of human stupidity. But, that's for later, when I'm feeling less tired.

Tell you what, trade jobs with me. I really need one and arcade attendant doesn't sound so bad, LOL.

 

[OtherAlex]

Ive worked in a string of cafes in england and wales, and you get the same complaints and the same fucking stupid, people everywhere.

Usual complaints.

"This coffee is too hot" well what the fuck did you expect? The water is boiling and the milk is steamed and frothed with the same boiling water?

"This coffee is stone cold" You asked for the milk to be poured straight in from the fridge, this was your doing.

"Can you mix so and so for me" no I am afraid I can't "Why not?" Because they will not physically mix.

"Do you have any jobs?" No I'm afraid we don't, we usually advertise in the window. It is at this point, that they try and become your best friend so that you will put a good word in for them.

And, I swear to you I am not joking. "I'll have a pint of stella please" Mate, this is a fucking Cafe Nero.

Customers, are not always right. They are all like little children, moaning at you, tugging at your trouser legs and making a mess. Just jam them full of sugar and send them to annoy the next undeserving clerk.

 

[bmf185]

More good stories everyone. I am doing everything I can to avoid going back to my bookstore job that was full of unbelievable morons (who were all college students or professors).

However, I tutor college students, and I am forever sick of them not doing a damn thing and expecting me to teach them six chapters in an hour. READ THE BOOK. THE ANSWERS TO THE EXAM ARE IN THE BOOK.

 

[Ryuzix]

*I guess pharmacies are the new hot spots for vacationing Koreans.

Ofcourse pharmacies are hotspots for koreans! How else do we get our caffeine pills!
Im not old enough to get a job and mock the stupid poeple yet D:. Oh well, school is just as good

 

[milkkart]

i worked at a paintball site and we got a lot of stag parties. one group turned up wtih a guy who was bright red in the face and acting really sketchy so assuming he's still pissed from the night before we say sorry you cant play if you're drunk. his mate replies nah nah its fine, he's just snorted a bit much coke!

 

[02cfranklin]

Yeah but that's just freaking awesome.
Whut.. whuts with all the flying colours maaaaan?

 

[MaxFan]

So I'm helping out at another one of our store locations because the manager there got fired. At this location, they carry furniture, which is not true at the one I normally work at. A man and woman come in demanding a certain item --special thanks to the manager there for not scheduling me one of their own people who knew furniture, too-- and I try to figure it out but these people have a disaster area instead of a warehouse. So, after looking for a bit, I go back and let them know that I'm unable to find it and really just on loan anyway so it might be better to come back the next day (most people are pretty understanding about this), and they get all angry that they've been told multiple times to come back. I call the regular furniture manager from this store, he says it's really sold out, I call another furniture location for them, but they also say they're out of stock for this item. They say any other location I suggest (which is every single one within 30 miles) is too far away. So the people leave. Now, the next day, they call our district manager, he calls the store back, and tells them to give these people whatever they want to purchase at 20% off.

WHAT? These people are gaming the system, they never asked to get that phone number, so they've done this before. Just find out what a store doesn't have and then complain so that you can get a discount. And the best part? The district manager will never bother to even find out what happened, he'll just take their word that things went wrong.

Oh, also, they said to me, "You're mean. This is the worst customer service ever." -note I had done nothing but attempt to locate this item in rather painstaking detail- "I bet that's why [manager who got fired] left."
I so wanted to say, "One of us still works here and the other doesn't, you figure it out."

 

[Mantonio]

I love this thread, I really do. Sadly I don't have any real stories to share myself.

 

[Daye.04]

To be fair, if Starbucks was italian, necro would be completely unjustified. As it is, they shouldn't pretend to be. They're the epitome of capitalism and consumerism, American values. They try to use italian names for things which defy logic i.e the venti, and if you want to use an american term in america in an american coffee shop then the counter woman should oblige instead of trying to tell you that you're wrong.

Sure. But it's still the whole point of this thread. To rage against the customers. I'm fairly sure there's a thread about ridiculous cashiers and such. If not, there'll be one any minute now. So what Necro is doing is still what this thread is "against". So it should be the girl who's telling her story.

 

[FISHFINGERS]

Please stop reading this now, seriously this is disgusting. Are they gone........ good.

Anyway during my time at the local Sea Life Park I'm clearing tables in the main restaurant area and I see a mother and child who were sitting right next a sign for the toilets walk off, nothing unusual there then. Anyway I pick up enough trays and take them outside round to the staff only area to drop them off in a hatch so I can go put them in the dishwasher later. I find this mother getting her kid to piss on the floor right in front of this hatch.

Anyway the conversation went something like this
Me- WTF are you doing.
Mum- I couldn't find the toilets.
Me- Did you not see the signs?
Mum- No
Me- Then why the hell didn't you ask a member of staff where the toilets are?
Mum- Look did you want her to piss on the floor in the middle of the restaurant?
Me- No, I'd rather she use the toilet like everybody else.
Mum- I want to see the manager.
Me- Fine by me.

And then they were quickly thrown out of the park by my manager as she was in the kitchen at the time and heard all of this. Suffice it to say that I will hopefully work with or anywhere near the public ever again.

 

[LeonLethality]

Working at subway, I often get big orders theres this regular customer that has everything but carrots on his subs ALL THE TIME, so I always say "you can just ask for everything except carrots next time" and he agrees and the next day he comes in taking up time by his slow choices and gets angry when i tell him hes holding up the line, its just HORRIBLE and someone also came in wanting a refund for a sub that had "mold" on it or something, I asked for proof, the man ate his sub... and I got a complaint for not refunding him, I also got a complaint that a foot long sub wasnt a foot long, constantly trying to say i have no controll over bread size, and its aprox. one foot, he constantly kept saying he wanted his moneys worth, inside i was laughing my ass off


Also, I have a co-worker named Danny we are like best friedns here, we often makejokesa nd shit with customers, like one time we were pretending to be as steriotypicaly gay as possible (Danny the genious he is was wearing a pink ball cap with the word princess in sparkly letters on it) so it was just fucking awesome that day with the stares we got from customers

ANYWAY on a customer annoyance note, Danny (the stores assistant manager, I was below him this place has maybe 5 employees >.>) and I were playing Magic the gathering in the back (as we used to when it was slow though we can clearly see the counter) when a customer walks in sees nobody is there and trys to steal from the register, obviously i was ready to call the cops but danny had a giggling smile on his face, the guy was maybe 15 or 16 and was clearly having trouble with the register, danny walks up behind him (theres a door out of the backroom to the main area) and asks "are you having any troubles sir?" and the guy turns arounf and stares at danny pale faced full of fear and bareley says "n..no" and I was on the other side I had finished preparing a sub (I pay for them and make them for my own lunch ) and said "heres your sub sir" the kid turns around pale faced still but now horribly confused and is silent after about 15 seconds I ask "Something wrong sir?" and he just ran out of there thats when me danny and a customer (that was sitting there the whole time and the kid didnt notice him) burt out into laughter funny thing was the kid tried to do it again, that time we called the cops on him, jokings over after the first time >.> he was a sad excuse for a thief

 

[Sneaky Paladin]

These are so funny don't let it die

 

[Ghadente]

she's in her 60's and probably starting to slip in her mind some... get over it and move on, can't believe you were so affected by it that you needed to ***** on a post about it...

 

[ViolentlyHappy91]

I've noticed that the customer is usually wrong unless they know what the fuck they're talking about. I've made a guy at a computer store feel like a complete moron when he told me my computer was running slow due to lack of gigabytes. I took it in due to a motherboard fault and he told me it was probably a lack of gigabytes....I didn't know what to say.

I work at an internet cafe and people are convinced that they know best with the computers here and when they say that something isn't working when it should (usually their fault) I say "Oh, that's because we're using a different type of computer so you have to do this." It usually gets me out of trouble and makes them happy.

 

[Alleged_Alec]

I work as a cashier at a local supermarket, and once I was done helping a customer and accidentally forgot to give them their receipt. I have a simple rule: I will most of the time ask you if you want one, and if I don't, you can always ask for it yourself. Anyway, I continued helping the customers in line when the lady who I forgot to give her receipt, comes back. She states that I didn't gave her a receipt and demanded that I gave it to her.
I told her that I was unable of doing so because I can only print the receipt from the latest customer. She rages against me for this and I wait until she's finished. I called my boss and continued to help other customers, since there's not much use in letting those wait.
She starts yelling again for not helping her first and I tell her that I can't help her and she needs to talk to my boss. She asks me why I haven't done that yet. I tell her I have done so.
When my boss still hadn't arrived after a minute or two, she starts to get very annoying once more and demands that I call my boss again. I got fed up with her behaviour and tell her I won't, because he knows she's waiting and he's obviously busy with something else; he'd come soon enough.
She waits a few more seconds before spouting some more bullshit about not ever going to shop there again and leaves the shop, just as my boss arrives.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I work at my grandma's store on holidays. Her store kinda supplies other stores as well so we have to sell in bulk to regular folks to shut those stores up about how it is "unfair".

Well this one time my parents took my grandma and aunt out for lunch, leaving me, my sister and my cousin in charge. This guy walks in and tries to buy ONE packet of Fisherman's Friend (A breath mint to those who don't know) when the price tag clearly states we only sell 5 packs at a time.

Man: How much is this?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't sell this to you. We only sell 5 packets at a time.
Man: But I just want one packet!
Me: I'm sorry, I can't sell just one. You have to buy five.
Man: *Tries to act tough* Listen! I JUST... WANT... ONE!
Me: I agree that you need breath mints, but I can't sell you one packet.

The guy starts cussing, my cousin comes over to sort things out and the guy walks off to see what else we're selling.

That isn't the end of the story. A minute later he tries to run off with an entire box (About 50 packets) of Fisherman's Friend without paying. I tackle him as he runs out the door and my cousin and I pin him down while my sister called the cops. I would have teabagged him, but i think it would be overdoing it. XD

But seriously, why are some people such moronic douches?

 

[LeonLethality]

I went to an EB games with my friend (we buy consoles from there its got some okay trade in deals for those) and he was trying to get a ps3 now while one employee was talking with him and explaining everything I was talking with the other employee about various jrpgs when the store phone rings, he answers it and he looks like hes about to burst with anger and laughter, the customer asked if there were any saxaphones for rock band (it was a prank caller that had been calling quite a bit) so anyway the employee started saying "Oh yeah good timing they just came in." I'm standing there holding in laughter while he's smiling turning a stupid question against the guy, anyway they guy started talking some shit after the employee said "look enough with the fucking prank calls I have a job and I'm trying to work" then the guy was mouthing him off (I swear I could hear all the profanity over the phone) the employee said "Look prank calls are not only immature but illigal, please find something better to do with your life" and he hung up, So I'm here talking with him again for a while (my friends a little slow on decision making he was trying to find some games for the ps3 but hes indecisive >.>) and the guy called back again (store has caller ID and the prank caller didnt block his number) so I asked if I could answer the phone so he didnt have to put up with him he said "sure go ahead I would rather be fired than to put up with assholes like him" so I answered the phone saying "Jelly jigglers male strippers, you name it we jiggle it" the employee and the guy next to him both burst out in laughter (the guy next to him was the ass. manager who was helping my friend apperantly even he hated this prank caller) and so the caller hung up after being beaten at his own game (he had friends over since i could hear his friends calling him gay in the backround) and apperantly I solved there problem, though I dont often buy from EB games I do come by to talk with these guys they are a good bunch and im insurance if he ever calls again sometimes you gotta weird people out to shut em up

 

[Bellvedere]

I once had a customer ask for a return on an item the we didn't usually return. I explained this to him, which he proceeded to argue about before demanding to see the manager (who was not there are the time - just me and another casual). I told him I'd have to ring the manager which I did, but I couldn't get ahold of him.

In the end I decided that I'd just do the return considering I couldn't be bothered arguing, our policy was kind of lame, and I had just been up for 2 nights straight doing corse work.

I told him I'd do the return to which he replys very condesendingly "It's okay to be wrong you know dear".

 

[simmeh]

I worked a summer as a rent-a-cop. Yeah. Fun times to be had. Surprisingly, I didn't have to deal with too many mouth-breathers, but my first day of work was rather interesting.

My company was hired to supply parking attendants and gatekeepers for special event parking. There was some sort of conference for some very large religious organization (I think they were Mormons). In order to accommodate for this, the way the parking garages worked was changed - you either bought a ticket for $8 and be allowed to come and go as you please all day, or you got in for free on the stipulation that you got out within an hour. Nothing else worked. Parking passes, threats, promises of sexual favours, nothing. People still didn't seem to get this, despite there being signs all over the entrance proclaiming "Event Parking: $8" and my whole spiel about the rules before I opened the gate.

Most of the cars that came in were patrons of the conference. They all seemed to understand perfectly. Not one of them complained as they handed over the money. But everyone else, down to the person, moaned and whined about being gouged and how it wasn't fair, as if I could do anything. I didn't even work for the city OR the organization running the conference - I was just a warm body from a rent-a-cop company.

In hindsight, I probably didn't have it as rough as the people at the exit. If the person promised to be gone within an hour, I would just stamp their ticket and open the gate, telling them that if they stayed more than an hour, that the guy at the exit would be relieving them of $8. I can only imagine the number of irate people who came to the exit only to discover that they had taken too much time in their shopping.

The biggest incident came later in the day, after all the conference patrons were in and things had slowed down. Suddenly, a minivan roars up to the gate, and a very red-face man vigorously rolls down his window. Spitting while he talked, he cursed me out. Exchange is as follows:

Me: Good afternoon sir. It's $8 to park here, unless you plan on --
Him: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID PRICK! DOES THE CITY ONLY HIRE IDIOTS THESE DAYS? I ASKED YOUR **** COWORKER WHAT WAS GOING ON AND SHE SAID THAT EVERYONE PARKED HERE IS A MORMON. SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET VERY ANGRY WHEN YOU START CALLING EVERYONE IN THERE A DAMNED MORMON! I'M SURE THAT THERE ARE PLENTY OF NORMAL, SMART PEOPLE PARKED HERE. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO FIND YOURSELVES IN SOME SERIOUS SHIT IF YOU KEEP ON CALLING NORMAL PEOPLE MORMONS!
Me: ... So, how long are you going to be staying?
Him: SHUT UP, ASSHOLE. I PROBABLY JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE. BESIDES, I DON'T WANT TO PARK IN A LOT STAFFED BY DIPSHIT MORMON-LOVERS.
His 14 year old daughter: Dad, could we please just leave?
Him: SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO TEACH THIS DELINQUENT A LESSON

He proceeded to call me and my coworker a few other nasty things before asking to be let through. I can reiterated my question about how long he was staying, to which he responded that he wasn't. So I handed him a ticket and opened the gate. True to his word, he drove straight through the lot to the exit. He never had any intention of parking, he had just casually asked the back gate what was going on, and then decided to go and lay into me.

I later related the experience to the coworker in question, and she just laughed. Some people get riled up about the strangest things.