The Escapist Advice Thread

[Dr.Susse]

Well Vincent Van Gough cut off his ear and posted it to a girl. Try that.

Dear Escapist may radio isn't working is there a problem with my Internet?

 

[thesilentman]

Radio and Internet do not have anything to do with other.

I need a faster computer without paying money. What to do?

 

[Dr.Susse]

Look into buying a raido.

Should I go and see a band that I've never heard of?

 

[thesilentman]

If you like the genre, go ahead.

Dog? Cat? Fish? Which pet would give me the least amount of hassle?

 

[MrCollins]

Those pets are for pussies, get a LIGER, those are badass.

Dear Escapist, what percentage of my income should I spend on games?

 

[thesilentman]

2%. Saving money is king.

Which progressive rock artist has the best concept albums?

 

[username sucks]

The madman living inside your ear.

How do I SCIENCE?

 

[Dr.Susse]

Just start throwing different elements together and wait for a BOOM, Splat or Nobel prize.

Dear Escapist I can't quit alcohol what should I do?

 

[MrCollins]

Take up heroine instead, you'll see, you won't even be able to think of alcohol.

Dear Escapist, how do I learn to count?
there is a certain count is wish to replace

 

[thesilentman]

Cards? Go learn how to cheat in poker.

Dear Escapist, how do I internet smack someone?

 

[PsychicTaco115]

You put your hand really close to the screen and yell "SMACKA DAT FOOL!"

Dear Escapist, how can I be a good vigilante in society?

 

[username sucks]

Nuke the city. It is now crime-free!

Dear Escapist, how do I make a pizza?

 

[scorptatious]

Go find the Heavy, he did teach you how to make "sandvich".

Dear Escapist, my toast is burnt. What do I do?

 

[thesilentman]

Use it to kill flies and make another toast. First world problems my ass...

Dear Escapist, I have a seminar tomorrow. How do I get prepared?

 

[MrCollins]

Screw your seminar, don't prepare. When your professor asks you why you haven't done it, just blame Kross. That always works.

Dear Escapist, how can I increase my typing speed?

 

[Kae]

Trim your fingers, the decrease in length will increase your speed >_>

Dear Escapist how can I look classy like Mr Collins?

 

[scorptatious]

Steal Mr. Collin's clothes. I'm sure he won't mind.

Dear Escapist, I'm about to take a test and am feeling stressed out. Any advice on how to calm down?

 

[thesilentman]

Do what you like. Play some games, or anything else really.

I'm preparing for a chess competition, how do I calm my nerves?

 

[MrCollins]

Simple, give yourself a hand, if you catch my drift... it releases endorphin that calms you down.

Dear Escapist, How can I best get revenge on Kaleion for taking my clothes, and can someone lend me a pair of trousers.

 

[thesilentman]

I have no clothes, but I guess spamming Kaleion should do the trick. :-D

Dear Escapist, where is the undo button?