The Streets of Colorado - Near the Capitol Building
[color=5B9C64]Eddie the Dead[/color] | Wrath Smash! | Sloppy Sleeper | The Demi-God's Guide to Pastry Shops | I am the tryhard steel | Strong Independent Waifu
This was one happy reunion.
For about any other being, having the embodiment of Wrath rush at you with a grin as wide as the Panama strait meant you had approximantely ten seconds to say your prayers, make your peace, and accept your imminent demise.
But Eddie was different, special, even! As one of the few beings that Wrath could get along with, and as one of the even fewer beings she
liked spending time with, her rushing him didn't mean she was about to break his bone, merely that she would break some bones.
With a bearhug that would leave any lesser being bent, broken, and very much painfully dead, Wrath lifted Eddie off the ground, which for any bystander it would look quite the achievement given that Eddie was both taller and more muscular than her.
The hug grew tighter, and he felt his back crack and his ribs fracture. The power put behind her hug could probably bend titanium, and from the violent nature of it Eddie's hat fell, and the dice hidden inside of it fell with it, scattered and rolling down the streets.
"It's damn good to see you! You know, I heard your scream earlier in my room at the Vice's realm. Shit, I think they heard you several RP's over!"
He could but stare as she lay him down, [color=5B9C64]"Huh"[/color] he exclaimed, [color=5B9C64]"So that's why Rasp looked at me funny that one time? Guess you
do learn something new every day!"[/color]
But neither Wrath nor Sloth were paying attention anymore, staring instead at the armed troops coming their way. Eddie meanwhile, utterly uncaring that random mooks had appeared, picked up his hat, realised the dice had fallen off, and looked around to find the dice. The first two he saw had already stopped rolling, their results lit up:
6! 8!
Six and eight. Not too bad a start. He found another three rolling between the legs of the Nihilism Child as she KFC'ed some mobs with her flamey stuff, unwittingly kicking the dice away as she did. Following them lead to finding two more dice, stopped by the side of the car that Nina was heroically hiding behind, results lit up:
7! 5!
That made his grin falter slightly. The chance was infinitesmall, but this sequence of results could lead to a certain nasty bugger of an effect, so unfathomably horrible that this entire universe would turn into a barren husk. Curiousity reaching its peak, he looked again for the three Nadalia kicked away. And to his horror, found them.
3! 1! 4!
He gulped at that. The infinitesmall had turned very likely indeed, as this was one number away from the ultimate disaster. But where was that damned last die? He looked around everywhere, yet the little bugger-
"I have the missiles slowed!"
Oh.
Oooooooooh.
Eddie's fastly vanishing smile twitched. The missiles weren't the only things slowed. Not too far from the ground the last die rolled in a torturingly slow speed, as it fell even more painfully slow to the ground. Worst still, the aggravatingly slow die landed agonizingly slowly on the pavement on its tip, rolling excruciatingly slowly around. Any number could be a result now, a one in eight, but the odds hardly mattered when the game was rigged, and all that mattered was whether his patron was feeling bored enough to instigate such a phenomenal catastrophe just for momentary amusement.
"Someone destroy them!"
Then, the die came to a gut-wrenchingly slow halt, as though teasing the result. It fell to a side, in the now established traumatisingly slow fashion, and landed on the ground, the resulting number lighting up.
"Wrath-"
Eddie grinned, an almost maniacal laugh slowly building up into a truimphant bellow. He extended his hand and opened his palm. and as he did, the dice appeared upon, results brighter than ever.
"That tank is mine!"
[HEADING=3]
Aaaaaaaand CUT![/HEADING]
He looked around, watched the chaos of battled frozen in time: Wrath rushing the tank, a mighty dust cloud rising up behind her. He could see the specks risen in the air, count them even if he wished to. Sloth, with an irritated expression, stared at Wrath, clearly unhappy with her blatant disregard to whatever he had said. Across the corner of his eye, Waifu #2 was finishing ripping off a guy apart, all the lovingly gruesome details of his viscera clearly seeable in this frozen space-time state.
Oh, and the other one, the one that was having a mental episode, she was shooting around with her impractical anime guns. He wondered why his patron had allowed such a being to live, given her part of the song was a rather contrasting melody opposing the whole, but he supposed that questioning the whims of an
actually omniscient and omnipotent diety was something only a dark-black winged fool would do.
And finally, Nina. He could see that she was still heroically holding the same ground he saw her a few moments ago, except something new had entered the equation. From within her bag a tentacle had sprouted, and from the looks of it, had just slapped her in the face before time froze. He hadn't taken his city guide for a tentacle fetishist, but he was hardly one to judge. After so many untold millennia, he'd seen
some shit.
The dice shone brighter, which meant time was running out. Having noticed a hotdog stand not too far away, he helped himself to a hotdog and a beer.
[color=5B9C64]
Now, where was I a few seconds ago?[/color]
He got to his at the time position, adjusting a bit to the left and then forward, took a bit out of the hotdog, and spread his arms as though ready to hug again.
[color=5B9C64]"Aaaaaand....
GO![/color]
The Streets of Colorado - Near the Capitol Building
[color=5B9C64]Eddie the Dead[/color] | Wrath Smash! | Sloppy Sleeper | The Demi-God's Guide to Pastry Shops | I am the tryhard steel | Strong Independent Waifu
This was one happy reunion.
For about any other being, having the embodiment of Wrath rush at you with a grin as wide as the Panama strait meant you had approximantely ten seconds to say your prayers, make your peace, and accept your imminent demise.
But Eddie was different, special, even! As one of the few beings that Wrath could get along with, and as one of the even fewer beings she
liked spending time with, her rushing him didn't mean she was about to break his bone, merely that she would break some bones.
With a bearhug that would leave any lesser being bent, broken, and very much painfully dead, Wrath lifted Eddie off the ground, which for any bystander it would look quite the achievement given that Eddie was both taller and more muscular than her.
The hug grew tighter, and he felt his back crack and the hotdog piece in his mouth threaten to fly off. The power put behind her hug could probably bend titanium, and from the violent nature of it Eddie's hat fell, the dice hidden inside luckily still in one place.
"It's damn good to see you! You know, I heard your scream earlier in my room at the Vice's realm. Shit, I think they heard you several RP's over!"
[color=5B9C64]"Yeah, I know,"[/color] he said, swallowing, [color=5B9C64]"You told me so the last time."[/color] Not that she would know.
But neither Wrath nor Sloth were paying attention anymore, staring instead at the armed troops coming their way. Eddie meanwhile, utterly uncaring that random mooks had appeared, picked up his hat, glad that the dice were still inside, dusted it off, put it back on and turned to grin at you, dear reader.
[color=5B9C64]"No more happy accidents this time."[/color]
With that out of the way, we return to our regular program, albeit a bit altered. Chaos theory dictates that small alterations can give rise to strikingly great consequences, and Eddie having a hotdog and beer in hand certainly was a small alteration. Sloth had slowed the missiles, but this time icycle queen was done with her prey faster, and had joined the bunch already.
".. I assume these carry a name."
"They're called 'missiles' and if you could destroy them for me, that'd be great."
No godmodding here, capt'n!
"That tank is mine!"
With flamethrower princess getting ready to deal with the little missiles and Wrath back on schedule, Eddie turned his attention to more important things. Namely, his trusty guide, ever heroically holding the fort behind the car, looked like she decided to branch out on the hero business by trying to beat a missile with a rock. It was such an inept attempt that even Eddie had to take pity on her, and thus blessed her with luck. The rock wasn't quite gonna take a rocket down on its own, but it would look the part, and since the guide clearly demonstrated that she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, she'd think she'd contributed. Win-win situation from where he were standing.
Satisfied with the comic display, Eddie took another bite on his hotdog. The pigmy wannabe continued throwing fireballs around, Wrath was bullrushing the tank, Sloth was slothing around and Miss Mental was going full tryhard with transformations and shit. All while a mist that was undoubtedly supposed to weaken them was conveniently ignored. He could think of at least one person disappointed that the mist did nothing and the hyped up military forces were nowhere near being a threat, but in Eddie's opinion he had it coming.
Business as usual, then, and Eddie was growing bored. Where's the fun in a one-sided fight? So rather than join in, he flash-stepped next to his tentacle-loving partner.
[color=5B9C64]"Well, look at you!"[/color] Eddie bellowed as he appeared, devouring what was left of the hotdog as he did. The octo-enthusiast, though, rather than be excited to see her valiant partner in crime return, threw a rock at him. She still missed, even if it was an almost point-blank shot. The sentiment is what counts.
Eddie stared at her in silence for a few seconds. She looked rather apologetic about it, like a child that breaks a vase for the hell of it and then cries crocodile tears when they're caught. And if there was one thing that Eddie hated, was children.
[color=5B9C64]"One moment you're bitching at me for your apartment and now you're turning into a full-fledged hero!"[/color] He leaned on her threateningly, his voice turning into a guttural growl [color=5B9C64]"Even had the balls to try and throw a rock on my face."[/color], he paused again, letting his rather unhinging grin form, before backing off, changing gears. [color=5B9C64]"They grow up so fast."[/color] he mock-wiped a tear off his eye.
[color=5B9C64]"But the million dollar question, my dear shokushu enthusiast, is this:"[/color] and he pointed at the Cyborg that had just landed a small distance away on the other side of the car, [color=5B9C64]"How're ya gonna deal with that guy?"[/color] he grinned and prepared to take a sip of his beer, [color=5B9C64]"Now that's what I'd really like to- the fuck?!"[/color] he stared at the bottle, [color=5B9C64]"This beer's warm! What kind of South African degenerate sells warm beer?"[/color] and flung the bottle away, [color=5B9C64]"This is bullshit!"[/color]
Now, this bottle was about to go on an adventure. Flying off Eddie's hand, it flew juuuuuuust barely off the Cyborg's head, making its way through a ruined shop window, smashing right onto a bowling ball, which was unstable enough that it only needed juuuust the amount of force the bottle gave it move.
It moved down the shelf, fell down to the next one, rolled its way to the shelf's end, only to have its course rather anticlimatically interrupted by a a pile of books.
But wait, there's more! The sudden crash and added weight that the bowling ball gave the shelf weakened its foundations, and it slowly but surely looked like it was about to give way. Just as that happened, a military guy with a rocket launcher entered the building, aiming at poor little Nina (or maybe Eddie) across the street. Just as he was about to fire, though, the foundation gave way, and the bowling ball fell right onto his head, crushing it rather thoroughly.
That that
still wasn't the end of that! The now brain-damaged soldier's finger squeezed the trigger right on impact, sending the shot just baaaaaarely off-course. The missile flew between Nina and Eddie, hitting a propane store on the far side of the street instead. An explosion that Michael Bay would masturbate to followed, as propane tanks exploded in the grandest of fashions.
But if you think a grand explosion was the grand finale, think again. Through the fires and flames of the propane store flew a lone propane cylinder, fire violently exhuming from where its valve used to be, propagating the cylinder onwards like a rocket. It flew between Eddie and Nina, crashed juuuuuuust right on the Cyborg's head, and from the impact exploded, hitting the Cyborg right on an unfortunately overlooked design flaw, haywiring its systems and gibbing its head, sending its lifeless corpse flying backwards a few inches.
[color=5B9C64]"Well!"[/color] heartily laughed Eddie at the sight, [color=5B9C64]"What are the chances of
that?![/color] and turned to Nina, [color=5B9C64]"So, Miss Hero, you gonna show me to that pastry shop or not?"[/color]