The Escapist Basement.

[Thaius]

I think it's just an attempt to scare us away. We think it's some horrible hellhole from which no one ever returns, but in reality it's probably a super-cool staff room where all the Escapist mods, writers, and everyone else can hang out and play the games that aren't even out yet. Heck, I heard Yahtzee's already beaten Mass Effect 3 a few times.

 

[Baby Eater]

Sunshine and unicorn farts. As a guardian of the basement I can't say anymore...

 

[Arenari]

It is said a great many of thing lye within the basement. Thousands of games not yet released lye within the basement. Treasures of gold and silver,and the finest art you could ever lay your eyes on lye within the basement. Computers centuries ahead of our own and consoles with real-life graphics also lye within the basement. But there are some things that do not lye in the basement but instead stir about the darkness of which the brightest light cannot penetrate.
Although they warn to stay away from the basement there are some that simply cannot fight the temptation. Walking by the basement door you can often hear voices, tempting you with all the treasures that are beyond that sinister door. Some give in and open the door taking step at a time into the darkness. Step...by step...by step... but once they put one foot out of the light and into the shadows they are grabbed by something and pulled out of sight. And if you go to the basement door, and you listen. Ignoring the soothing voice and listen past that... you can hear the cries of the foolish that chose to ignore the warning and tread were one should not tread, you can hear them screaming,crying out and begging to die... for once you step out of the light and into the shadows... you may never leave.

That sounds an awful lot like Chaos.

 

[Ham_authority95]

It could be where all the poop-threads and banned people go.

They're without users, so they have nothing to keep them in check but their trollish souls, and they keep piling up.

Soon my friends, the pile will be enough to ruin this once great place of ours, maybe ruin it enough to challenge /b/ itself

 

[brunothepig]

Lots and lots of furry porn and metal cd's.

Is this true? Because I may have to brave the furry porn...
You know, once I gathered up my courage to go down into the basement. I heard strange moans, and there was this weird smell... I'm not ashamed to admit, I ran.

 

[Angus565]

That sounds an awful lot like Chaos.

Sorry, but what is Chaos?

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

I dared venture down there, once. I only made it halfway down the stairs. There is something down there. Something horrid and evil, sitting in the darkness at the bottom, staring intently at you as you unknowningly stare at it. It wonders which new and interesting ways it can find make you scream in fear and agony. Its mind is a swirling torrent of insanity. And it is patient. Patient enough to wait for your curiosity to overcome your better judgement, and make you go down there. And it knows, in it black heart, that you will.

Sweet dreams, everyone!

 

[ottenni]

Furbies. lots and lots of furbies.

BE AFRAID

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

An archive records of the darkest secretes of all games ever made...

 

[LeonLethality]

In the basement? I think it is just fat man spoon and neonbob playing chess. Horrifying I know.

 

[Dusquad]

What is down there is the entity we all know as 4chan. It's fetid stench seeps to the stairs, in a dark room with only a single light. GAZE UPON IT, FOR IT IS THE PHYSICAL FORM OF FEAR, HATE, AND MADNESS. IT IS THE ESSENCE OF PURE EVIL!!!

...

I am terribly sorry, now what were we talking about.

 

[cocoadog]

Jay... I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER!

 

[zehydra]

The Escapist Community, lol, and we like being there.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

Kennedy, Elvis, the new Area 51, and the space ship from Roswell.

 

[Comrade Mateo]

Thats where they threw Urealms. And old cassettes.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

Some say it's a troll. Some says it's the bodies of an ancient group of barbarians only known as "The Banned". Some say it contains Pandora's Box. All of them are wrong. I have seen the basement, I've been to the other side. And I'll tell you what's down there, it's

 

[SomeGuyNamedKy]

Furbies. lots and lots of furbies.

BE AFRAID

HOLY SHIT! NOT THE FURBIE!

My sister had one, we took the batteries out, and it still talked. I'm not lying, we had to put it under the bathroom sink in the night so we could sleep.

 

[HT_Black]

You sad, naive, hopeful morons. None of you have the memories or the hearts to truly realize what's in there. Each and every one of you are living a lie; a wonderful lie, a joyous lie, and an inspiring lie, but a lie all the same. Were it that any of you were able to comprehend the unremediated hideousness of the monster in the basement, your eyes would melt, your soul would split, your brain would ooze blood, and your sense of humor would wither away and die...

It's Video Game Theater, of course.

 

[Pegghead]

I'm guessing it would be a bit like hell and maxthereaper is satan. The wallpaper is made up entirely of the sort of thing that was posted back in the uh...Zynga fiasco and every thread is someone asking for advice on dating.

 

[zen5887]

Purple Rain runs his D&D games!