The Friend Zone

Recommended Videos

Bourne Endeavor

New member
May 14, 2008
1,082
0
0
The qualm with the "nice guy" characteristic is a large amount of men misunderstand the definition. When a girl states she would fancy a nice guy, she is not indicating she desires a submissive, clingy, shoulder to cry on, pat on the back, doormat. She is simply requesting someone who is general nice in the typical sense, someone who does the occasional generous thing for another person while it is not necessarily their defining trait. I characterize myself something of a jerk, and an exceptional tease. That being said, you ask any of the girls I converse with frequently and I am relatively certain I would receive compliments.

Example, I had a friend who was dealing with some family issues and spent some two hours talking to her, when she requested my opinion on things I provided a honest answer, even ones she may not have preferred. Furthermore, I opted to alter the conversation, focus her thoughts on other more positive things.

Suffice it to say, there is a significant difference between a "Nice guy" and a "Doormat."

As for the Friend Zone. I am of agreement it is exaggerated for those incapable of accepting that their crush may not reciprocate the feelings they possess. It is easier to blame another or a misguided theory than to blame oneself or simply accept her interest in you is platonic and nothing beyond.
 

Gudrests

New member
Mar 29, 2010
1,204
0
0
bak00777 said:
Hello fellow escapists, lately i have seen several threads relating to Dating and even one about whether or not girls like the ones in certain romantic comedies are actually out there. Well i want to ask my fellow escapists about their experiences with the dreaded Friend Zone.

Im not sure if this is true for everyone, but in my experience the friend zone is very dangerous. If you ask out a girl and you aren't rly in the friend zone then it is awkward because she doesnt rly know you, but if you are too far in, then she cant see the two of you as anything more than friends. Does anyone out there agree?
you have no idea how much i agree...and its ok...just be THAT GUY...who has her back but always tells the truth...and it might work lol
 

the rye

New member
Jun 26, 2010
419
0
0
Being in the friend zone can suck but you can also have a great friendship with them.
After a while i myself prefer being in the just friends because i no longer see her in a romantic way. i kind of got unlucky, the friend who is also the first girl i ever got a crush on turned out to be a lesbian so i had no chance.
 

ottenni

New member
Aug 13, 2009
2,996
0
0
I dont have any trouble with the 'friend zone'. And why would i, friends are awesome and the more the better.
 

Rednog

New member
Nov 3, 2008
3,566
0
0
I haven't been a boyfriend to any girls I consider friends. It is an insanely hard place to get out of that I really don't bother to try. One day I just realized that imo, if you're not hitting it off in a way that would lead to you two going out and you're not interested in friend ship just drop it. On the flip side if you're already friends and you see it's going to take ages to turn it in the other direction don't bother.
I tried for half a year to get a girl who was my friend to go out with me, and eventually I just got tired of playing the game and said forget it and just dropped the friendship all together, because you really can't go back to the way it was and if after all that effort you put in and someone doesn't recognize you, then the relationship probably wouldn't have worked out or lasted that long.
 

RhombusHatesYou

Surreal Estate Agent
Mar 21, 2010
7,594
1,916
118
Between There and There.
Country
The Wide, Brown One.
BonsaiK said:
I've never been in the Friend Zone because it doesn't exist.

Yes it's possible to be friends with someone but the idea of a "Friend Zone" that you're allocated to after a certain time period of knowing somebody is total fantasy, thought up by bored, lonely, misogynist keyboard jockeys who can't deal with the simple fact that men and women aren't really all that different when it comes to this particular point. They're looking for something to shift the blame for their failures on (because it couldn't possibly be that girls just don't like them much, oh gosh no) so they create this bullshit theory instead of acknowledging the harsh truth: that they never had a chance because she just didn't like them in the first place. Anything but take personal responsibility for their life and actions, hey.
Don't forget all their frustration at having their machiavellian plans at getting a woman to totally fall in love with them by pretending to be their bestest friend, confidante, and part time servile domestic schmuck... and all without ever letting the woman know they're interested in her.
 

spartan231490

New member
Jan 14, 2010
5,184
0
0
friend zone? I've been there. I, in fact, own several condos there. In the last month, three women that I had asked out over the summer came to me seeking advice on thier current relationships. Clearly, not the person to be asking :D

As for how dangerous it is, I've never gotten out of it, but there is always hope.

I can't see how anyone can honestly believe the friend zone doesnt exist. Honestly, you don't have a single friend of the opposite gender whom you wouldn't date, cuz if you do, you've put them in the friend zone.
 

icame

New member
Aug 4, 2010
2,648
0
0
Well if she's a friend it could also be awkward because she's become so used to thinking of you as one she might not think of you that way anymore, of course assuming she liked you in the first place.

But hell, what do i know. I'm too shy to ask out a girl.
 

Booze Zombie

New member
Dec 8, 2007
7,416
0
0
The friend zone... how are you supposed to get to know someone if you're not their friend?
It almost seems like an invention by impatient male whores who don't want to put up with those pesky "relationships", if I'm honest.
 

Egitor

New member
Jan 28, 2010
128
0
0
Even though I am on friendly terms with girls I've dated, I don't believe in a friend zone. Here's how I formed that opinion and what happened to me painfully recently.


We were incredibly close, the type of friendship in which you can share anything knowing they'll understand. I had heard talk about this type of friendship but never experienced it, not with my best (male) friends, my sisters or the girl I'd dated for 2 years.

Then I fell in love. I told her. It wasn't mutual. Sucks, I tried to suck it up and simply be her friend - since we had an amazing friendship.

Two years and a lot of pain and suffering later, we're not talking any more (until I get "over her") because being friends was too hard and awkward for her and too painful for me. I obviously couldn't get past my feelings for her and she couldn't ignore my sometimes borderline romantic behaviour.
 

Cpu46

Gloria ex machina
Sep 21, 2009
1,604
0
41
Me and a girl are mutually in the friend zone. Her ex boyfriend is one of the best friends I have. They were a year apart as far as grades go and they broke up only because he was going to college and a long distance relationship probably wouldn't have worked out. A year passes and she ends up at the same university as myself. So we are good friends, but not dating.
 

Ham_authority95

New member
Dec 8, 2009
3,495
0
0
BonsaiK said:
bak00777 said:
Hello fellow escapists, lately i have seen several threads relating to Dating and even one about whether or not girls like the ones in certain romantic comedies are actually out there. Well i want to ask my fellow escapists about their experiences with the dreaded Friend Zone.

Im not sure if this is true for everyone, but in my experience the friend zone is very dangerous. If you ask out a girl and you aren't rly in the friend zone then it is awkward because she doesnt rly know you, but if you are too far in, then she cant see the two of you as anything more than friends. Does anyone out there agree?
I've never been in the Friend Zone because it doesn't exist.

Yes it's possible to be friends with someone but the idea of a "Friend Zone" that you're allocated to after a certain time period of knowing somebody is total fantasy, thought up by bored, lonely, misogynist keyboard jockeys who can't deal with the simple fact that men and women aren't really all that different when it comes to this particular point. They're looking for something to shift the blame for their failures on (because it couldn't possibly be that girls just don't like them much, oh gosh no) so they create this bullshit theory instead of acknowledging the harsh truth: that they never had a chance because she just didn't like them in the first place. Anything but take personal responsibility for their life and actions, hey.
Agreeing with Bon on this one.

She either likes you or she doesn't. Simple as. If you make it any more complicated than that, than it's time that you've gotten a bit more experience in the real world of relationships..
 

Spinozaad

New member
Jun 16, 2008
1,106
0
0
The Friend Zone is a construction that's only there, because you believe it to be there.

If you have been 'Friend Zoned', you've probably been too much of a pussy when courting her. Friendship is either on a mutual basis, or just a delusion created by a hurt ego.

The trick to preventing being 'Friend Zoned' is by being assertive and confidence. Doesn't guarantee you against 'messing it up' or 'being rejected', but it doesn't hurt your ego.

Seriously, even the best "players", even the most beautiful/awesome/intelligent/"perfect" people have been rejected in their time. It happens to fucking everybody.
 

ultrachicken

New member
Dec 22, 2009
4,301
0
0
It feels like there's a friend zone topic every week...

I'll repeat myself: I've never been stuck in the friend zone, but I've never had a girlfriend either.
 

minarri

New member
Dec 31, 2008
693
0
0
Honestly I don't think you should bother thinking about the so-called "Friend Zone" too much, regardless of how funny it is in TV shows and with comedians. There's no surefire way to know where you are in a man or woman's affections so if you wanna go for it, go for it.
 

zombiesinc

One day, we'll wake the zombies
Mar 29, 2010
2,508
0
0
I really don't believe in this whole friend zone thing... but I s'pose that could be from a complete lack of experience.

It just seems like something that's been invented as some sort of justification or excuse. A way to make the situation suck just a little less than it actually does. All too often I hear people (more often guys) complain about being stuck in the friend zone, but even more often it's only because they've refused to express their damn feelings.