The Ladder Theory (another relationship thread)

[Kurokami]

Hey guys, I see all these relationship threads around with people asking for advise and people discussing the natures of men and women and thought it appropriate to present and discuss this. http://www.laddertheory.com/ (the website features several pages, don't forget to read them all! (/most of them(/get the big picture from what people are posting)))

A friend showed me this and I must say having been in these situations I find it to be more or less on the money. I don't agree with calling women bitches and so on but terminology aside I have definitely been a cuddle *****. So argue away, whats wrong here, what's right here, what do YOU think?

By the way, by no means is this meant to insult either sex, so when you comment, do so rationally to argue your point, thank you! =]

(hope this kicks off, first thread =[)

 

[Motti]

Wow, this is incredibly cynical.

 

[manicfoot]

Well, that's incredibly sexist. I'm friends with many girls and I don't want to hump any of them. Stopped reading after page 3. One thing I have observed is that some girls want a compliment monkey. Someone to tell them how pretty they are. Just my experience though.

 

[Warwolt]

And I think its kind of true, actually. But a thing to keep in mind while reading this, I think a lot of people get the feeling that this article is saying "EVERYBODY IS A DOUCHE BAG!", while it really is just an atempt to explain why people behave the way they do.

There's also alot more layers and complexity above these basic mechanics, and while I strongly believe one can easily learn to push some buttons, each individual's gonna mess the statistics with exceptions and the like.

 

[Lord Krunk]

The pie charts are pretty much the only things I agree with there; otherwise the author comes off to me as one sad, depraved individual.

The Ladder Theory does nothing for me, which is annoying considering the hype it gets.

 

[Sebass]

I don't understand why it's impossible to have a friendship with somebody you want to have sex with ..

Edit: just read the 'critisims' page .. That guy lost all credibility.

 

[Smudge91]

That theory is way to simplified for me, humans are slightly more complex than that, it also doesn't count cultural difference also. But i couldn't be arsed to read anymore after the 4th page. Also the translations on what women really mean on page 3 are well a bit asque (sp?), when a woman says "i want a man who knows how to treat a woman" she doesn't mean rich she means exactly what she says, she wants a guy that isn't a prat. Also there are probably holes in how the data was collected, probably through surveys which are about as generalisable as calling all cats dogs.

 

[Warwolt]

Well, that's incredibly sexist. I'm friends with many girls and I don't want to hump any of them. Stopped reading after page 3. One thing I have observed is that some girls want a compliment monkey. Someone to tell them how pretty they are. Just my experience though.

You do. Even if isn't an active thought its part of either concious or unconcious that you want to sleep with them. Otherwise you wouldn't be friend with them. Like said, this is pretty complex and isn't as simple as JUST "She's hot I want to fuck her". There's more to it, some dudes are more pretintious than others.

 

[Graustein]

Well...

It's wrong. There's not much more I can say. They say that guys can't be friends with girls without sex being an issue? Nonsense, I have more girl friends than guy friends. They say that if a guy does want sex with a girl and is denied, the relationship will crumble? Poppycock, I've been shot down and am still very good friends with the girl in question. In fact, it was extremely good for the relationship because I was able to move on and focus more on being her friend then on being her friend-with-a-crush.

The thing about people like this is, they very well may fit in with their own theory. After all, such theories often come about as a result of introspection. That's fine. It may certainly be a factor in the majority of people. However, to then generalise these introspective findings to the rest of the human race is a complete fallacy, which they will then generally cover up by accusing the denier of... well, being in denial.

 

[the1ultimate]

Objectivity = Nil

Therefore no matter how much "field research" has been done, it's all really opinion.

The author also comes across as very one-sided.

Some of the points may not be wrong, but I don't think this website is a credible source.

 

[manicfoot]

Well, that's incredibly sexist. I'm friends with many girls and I don't want to hump any of them. Stopped reading after page 3. One thing I have observed is that some girls want a compliment monkey. Someone to tell them how pretty they are. Just my experience though.

You do. Even if isn't an active thought its part of either concious or unconcious that you want to sleep with them. Otherwise you wouldn't be friend with them. Like said, this is pretty complex and isn't as simple as JUST "She's hot I want to fuck her". There's more to it, some dudes are more pretintious than others.

I'm sorry but I completely disagree. For one, I don't enjoy sex at all and wouldn't care if I didn't have it again for the rest of my life. Out of curiosity - if you were really good friends with your mother, does that mean you secretly want to have sex with her too? I want to see how far this logic goes.

 

[rossatdi]

A friend showed me this and I must say having been in these situations I find it to be more or less on the money. I don't agree with calling women bitches and so on but terminology aside I have definitely been a cuddle *****. So argue away, whats wrong here, what's right here, what do YOU think?

Reads like it was written by a 16 year old. Seriously, if you ignore the majority of this site your relationship life will be greatly improved. That's based my own 'field research'.

 

[cobra_ky]

i want to see what actual women think about the ladder theory. anything else is just piss in the wind.

 

[Flushfacker]

Another thing to watch out for is the code words women use. Here is a translation guide for dealing with women.

Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He's from a really good family.
Means: He's from a really rich family.

I'm sure you get the point. Let's move on

This made my day, so funny. This ladder theory is nothing new but thanks for the link OP it is amusing at least. A PUA named Mystery has been talking about the same basic stuff for years.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

Some of that I agree with.
However, most I do not...

I did read all of it, though, and I did get the feeling he simply got hurt a couple times, and wrote this to be all angsty about it.
But I dunno... :S

 

[Ben7]

Some of this stuff is hilarious, I really dont think its intended to be taken seriously.

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tell Tom she doesn't think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next few weeks contact between the two falls off. Jane starts fucking an outlaw biker.

 

[NimbleJack3]

Makes no sense. What if I take drugs to suppress my sex drive? Can I still make friends? Am I still a person?

 

[Blow_Pop]

personally i don't agree with that site. a friend sent it to me a few years ago and i find it incredibly sexist and unnecessary and wrong.

also i don't think that it was meant to be taken seriously but my opinion still stands. Sexist, unnecessary, and wrong.

I've been contemplating on and off to do the women's point of view on the ladder theory. I start to work on it and then I get bored and stop. Obviously its a very sexist male who has gone after the wrong women and been hurt so he takes it out on the entire female species. Men are no worse than women. And for the record women do NOT always mean I want a rich guy when saying some of that stuff. Most of the time we mean exactly what we say.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Seen it before. Most of it's bullshit which have had a touch of make-up consisting of truth in order to be able to pass of the whole package as true, which it clearly isn't.

It's like with the addage: even a sugar coated pile of shit is still just a pile of shit.

The same thing goes for pretty much any "theory" who the utterly ridiculous people calling themselves "Pick-Up Artists" have written.

Don't buy into their bullshit people. It's degrading to all mankind...

 

[Cilliandrew]

Well, that's incredibly sexist. I'm friends with many girls and I don't want to hump any of them. Stopped reading after page 3. One thing I have observed is that some girls want a compliment monkey. Someone to tell them how pretty they are. Just my experience though.

See, the part i don't agree with is that we want to nail the women we are completely unattracted to..

Now i will admit that when meeting a woman, there is definitely a split-second assessment that probably relates to "do i want to sleep with her? Would i bone her?"

And the ones that get a pass on this front.. Well, i think we're all lying if we aren't at least open on a subconscious level to her potentially sending some signs that she's attracted to us as males.

However there are some chicks that i just am not attracted to, and no matter how many signs they put out trying to show they are interested, i won't even entertain the idea.

They have been "graded" on the ladder, though.


I am curious what the age level of the folks who say "I have girl friends and i have no interest in having sex with them" is? Could possibly be that your still in the maturing process, sexually?