the most useless thing ever created

[BOONRULZ]

ummmm idk really i would go for the inflatable dartboard on the back of the door selfdefeating and dangerous

 

[Venatio]

Those pens with heads.

http://www.4promoproducts.com/pen_images/jfpen.jpg
And the worse....
http://topeco.co.uk/images/uploads/horse%20pens%20small.jpg

They are the very definition of useless, I mean sure you can still use them as pens but its not even good at that. The heads off balance your hand and make writing difficult and the worse part of it is that they are very distracting to you and everyone around you.

WHY DO THEY EVEN EXIST?!?

 

[axia777]

Babies.
Seriously, just think about it for a second: When was the last time a baby did anything for you?

Uh, they grow up, become part of society(if the parents do it right that is), and then procreate to continue the human race. We are all just DNA containers when it comes down to it really.

 

[A random person]

The DVD rewinder.

My god, the legends are true, someone that absurd and pointless truly does exist!

Since I can't think of anything else right now, solar powered flashlights.

 

[Snowalker]

The DVD rewinder.

I thought this as soon as I read the title, thank you so much for posting it.

 

[Takoto]

The Banana Guard

What the heck.
That's oddly hilarious.

 

[axia777]

The Banana Guard

What the heck.
That's oddly hilarious.

That to me looks like just a hollow dildo. Not really useless. It is not being used for the right reasons.

 

[Spaghetti]

I'm surpirsed no ones gone for these:

Sausage Rapped in a Pancake on a Stick + Baconaise
If you combine the two, Satan has an orgasm.

Seriously, Humanity must be at the end of its tether to come up with those

 

[DazBurger]

BEfore people start commenting I'd like to call attention to the fact this is just a thread designed to grab comments and flee, and I don't believe threads like this really belong on the Escapist.

Like this comment, hm?


... Damn! I fell for it! Darn troll.

 

[Sneaky Paladin]

Obviously the simple fruit flies. There's no point they just piss you off when you throw away yogurt

 

[xXZer0]

alcohol free beer

 

[AWC Viper]

The most useless thing ever created?

Spoiler: WARNING: Only for people with a sense of humor.

OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ROFLMFAO that is so true

 

[The Lost Big Boss]

alcohol free beer

Is that some sorta word trick?

OT: This... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y

 

[USSR]

The DVD rewinder.

...are you shitting me?

 

[axia777]

Uh, they grow up, become part of society(if the parents do it right that is), and then procreate to continue the human race. We are all just DNA containers when it comes down to it really.

Okay, but that doesn't answer the question: How does any of that benefit you?
Answer: It doesn't.

Well, my hope is that I take good care of my daughter and give her a lot of love. She grows up to be a successful human being which brings me a lot of personal pleasure and pride. Then when I am old and gray(if I get old and gray that is) she will take care of my old doddering ass.

On my other points you are correct. The procreation of the human race does not benefit past generations at all really.

alcohol free beer

I second this. WTF? Either drink beer or don't. Near beer is not beer.

 

[clicketycrack]

The slap chop. FUCK YOU VINCE.

 

[xXZer0]

On Wikipedia it shows that there's non Alcoholic beer and besides a couple shows have talked about it like the simpsons. To me though alcohol is the point of people drinking beer cuz most kinds (Atleast in the US) taste like Piss

 

[axia777]

snip

Exactly.
As a matter of fact, I would say that unless a baby is directly related to you, it is completely useless (to you.)

I mean, the most a baby has ever done for me is given me a horrific headache.
THANKS FOR CRYING, KIDS.
GLAD THIS SIX-HOUR FLIGHT WASN'T LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS BLRHBLRH.

...I...
I may have issues.

I actually hated children till I had one of my own. Now I feel differently about all kids. The change is most likely genetic in nature.

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

Ejector seats for da choppa.

hahaha, that's genius. A tad bit counter productive, but genius.

 

[Curiosity's Cat]

On Wikipedia it shows that there's non Alcoholic beer and besides a couple shows have talked about it like the simpsons. To me though alcohol is the point of people drinking beer cuz most kinds (Atleast in the US) taste like Piss

My dad drinks it when he wants to fit in with his mates without pissing off mum, hides it in a stubbie holder so his friends can't see the label. So maybe it's cornering a niche market in whipped husbands.

OT

Breast enlarging pudding, also comes in biscuits. These were at basically every chemist's I went to in Japan, along with breast enlarging suction cups.

ffs learn you some science ladies, there's no possible way these can work! Makes my ovaries cringe.

Edit: on second thoughts, if you eat enough of anything your boobs will probably get bigger... so I suppose F-Cup pudding could work in a way. Not the way it's advertised though.