The R Word

Darkmantle

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Mr. Omega said:
When I read this article, I was moved. I went to go see who wrote it, and noticed it was billed as "Anonymous". I took just two seconds to think of the various things the gaming community has done recently on anything involving women in general, let alone rape, and I thought "Yeah, that's probably for the best..."

The fact that the gaming community has become so hostile towards women, especially in matters of sexuality, that even a well-written, well-thought out piece about a very serious topic is still likely to be labeled as the "work of the enemy" and trolled to hell and back, and is sure to bring out the "Misandry is just as bad as misogyny!" crowd makes me sick to my stomach.

Thank you for sharing such a difficult experience with us, and thank you for giving us a much-needed perspective on this matter. Maybe, just maybe, gamers can actually act like adults on this matter. But I really doubt it.
You are aware that the author is male right?

EDIT: On Topic

I know you must be going through a lot of pain during the writing of this article, but it made me think of something. Since you are a male victim, shouldn't you be even more upset that many feminists (at least of the ones I've talked to) try to turn it into a "woman's only" issue.

That's the part that always causes me to argue with them and get called an apologist, which of course, I am not. I merely think that the law has to be fair to both genders, I feel like there is less support for male victims and they are taken less seriously under the law, and that doesn't sit right with me.
 

Helmholtz Watson

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Phasmal said:
Wow, I really have no words.

I really hope (though the cynic in me obviously doubts) that some people might actually think that the people they are playing with are real people and that words mean things.

I don't participate in smack-talking, (I've called one or two people noobs, but I've never been involved in the angry stuff- because too often I'm on the end of it. Not for playing badly, just for being female), I disagree with people who insist that this is part of gaming that cant/shouldn't change, and I think those people need to wonder why they want to keep doing it so badly.
I think people need to get over it. Rape is a word just like killed, murdered, starving, beaten, and genocide are words. There is no reason why the word rape should be treated like something special while the words I mentioned get an ok.

OP:Sorry to hear about your experience but why is this an article on a video game site?
EDIT:If the author is trying to discourage people from using the term rape, I hope that they also feel the same way about words like murder, killed, genocide, starving and beating.
 

Naeras

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Wow.
Amazing article.
Although I've already stopped using the term because I find it somewhat offensive myself, I'll definitely never use it again now.

Also lols @ people yelling "feminist propaganda" at everything.
 

itsthesheppy

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Mar 28, 2012
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Helmholtz Watson said:
Phasmal said:
Wow, I really have no words.

I really hope (though the cynic in me obviously doubts) that some people might actually think that the people they are playing with are real people and that words mean things.

I don't participate in smack-talking, (I've called one or two people noobs, but I've never been involved in the angry stuff- because too often I'm on the end of it. Not for playing badly, just for being female), I disagree with people who insist that this is part of gaming that cant/shouldn't change, and I think those people need to wonder why they want to keep doing it so badly.
I think people need to get over it. Rape is a word just like killed, murdered, starving, beaten, and genocide are words. There is no reason why the word rape should be treated like something special while the words I mentioned get an ok.

OP:Sorry to hear about your experience but why is this an article on a video game site?
you should have read the entire article. you'd know why, if you had. If you did, you should maybe read it again, because you missed it.
 

Mr. Omega

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Darkmantle said:
Mr. Omega said:
When I read this article, I was moved. I went to go see who wrote it, and noticed it was billed as "Anonymous". I took just two seconds to think of the various things the gaming community has done recently on anything involving women in general, let alone rape, and I thought "Yeah, that's probably for the best..."

The fact that the gaming community has become so hostile towards women, especially in matters of sexuality, that even a well-written, well-thought out piece about a very serious topic is still likely to be labeled as the "work of the enemy" and trolled to hell and back, and is sure to bring out the "Misandry is just as bad as misogyny!" crowd makes me sick to my stomach.

Thank you for sharing such a difficult experience with us, and thank you for giving us a much-needed perspective on this matter. Maybe, just maybe, gamers can actually act like adults on this matter. But I really doubt it.
You are aware that the author is male right?
Well shoot, now i look like an idiot. I do still think there will be an ugly response or two here, but yes, that was a mistake I made, and I apologize.
 

hilarius117

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Prayers go out to you.
Thank you for your story.
i knew someone who went through you did, and although I will never know first hand, I have seen it in others. It is a terrible wound that will never close.
 

Doom972

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First of all, this is one of the best and most important articles I read here.
Second, allow me to quote Mel Brooks: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
A thing could be considered funny or cruel depending on your point of view.
As a rape victim your friends at that Game of Thrones party seem cruel, but for a non-rape victim('s close friends and family) they seem funny.
The thing is, people can't always be sensitive to every possible baggage a person might have, even if it's as serious as rape. There can be no exceptions.
 

Cheeseman Muncher

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I take my hat off to you, sir. To be able to put this down in words must have difficult and I appreciate you doing so. There is far too flippant use of the term in the gaming community without any thought to those who may have unfortunately gone through this, and I think this article may make some people think twice.

Thank you.
 

subtlefuge

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Helmholtz Watson said:
Rape is a word just like killed, murdered, starving, beaten, and genocide are words. There is no reason why the word rape should be treated like something special while the words I mentioned get an ok.
The grand majority of the Western World has trivialized starving. Violent video games by their very nature have trivialized murder, kill, and beaten. Why does sexual violence need to be brought into the picture for completely unrelated reasons? It doesn't. You don't need to make the word 'rape' mean nothing, because it fucking means something to the people who have been raped, and have to live with that for the rest of their lives. If you make a joke out of it, who's going to come forward to be laughed at?
 

StrixMaxima

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Things like this are never easy to write, and they should not be easy to read.

I will need some time to digest everything you wrote. But all my respect goes to you.

I think little else needs to be said.
 

Fiz_The_Toaster

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I had a feeling that seeing the title of the article and seeing 'Anonymous', it was going to be a heavy one.

I thank you for writing that and I can't even imagine how much courage it took for you to write that, but massive kudos and respect from me goes towards you.

I don't really do smack talking, outside of telling someone to 'fuck off' (and only those words) and that's all, and I really don't understand why that word is even brought up in smack talk, it's so stupid to me. It makes me wonder if people actually realize the meaning behind the word and what they're actually implying.

I'm never one to put a stop to having people say certain things, but that word in our culture has got to go.
 

Brainst0rm

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"like a ropy, bulging muscle inside my throat"

Now that's in my head D: Never read more striking sense imagery. It's tremendous that you're able to share your story like this. Also you're a wonderful writer and I'm jelly.
 

Suicidejim

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This was certainly an interesting article to read. I would have been more interested to hear what the author had to say on the subject of exploring and using rape in videogame narrative, rather than about the casual use of the word itself, but it was still an interesting read.
 

IceStar100

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Hu I admit I understand the view of the feminist haters. Having to be around Amazons most of my teenage years.

That said I don't get grouping rape victims with them. You can chose to be a feminst or a chauvinist. Rape victims never had a choice in the matter. I also get the on line culture. One starts it then the herd instink kicks in. Want to see it head to a play. ground and watch one stronger kick pick on a weaker one then a groups picking on them. I hate to say it but people are monster.

Kudo tho on talking about it. I have to admit I'm glad I have no idea how hard that must have been.
 

itsthesheppy

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This article is simply... stunning, I should say. In that reading it, I had to sit back and just be in awe that someone could survive and cope with something so horrible. It's just a shame that I feel like a lot of people will read it, but feel like "well, when *I* use the word, I'm not being hurtful" and just not get what this brave guy is saying.

The word is never okay to use when you don't mean what it really means; sexual assault. Using it as a placeholder for "lose" or "defeat" not only trivializes the brutality of the crime the word represents, but ladies and gentlemen who have survived rape who overhear (and there are many of these individuals, and you never know who they are) are forced to then deal with those memories all over again.
 

Elamdri

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Therumancer said:
The thing with rape discussions is that it usually comes down to demands for dual standards that favor women. We see this in the court system where it's basically argued that in a case where rape is the accusation that the defendant (the accused) should have to prove a negative (nearly impossible) and their own innocence, as opposed to the burden of proof being placed on the accuser and prosecution.
Rape can be a very difficult crime to prosecute because victims rarely come forward immediately and often have accidentally destroyed very crucial evidence. I have a feeling that shows like CSI have done great harm to the justice system because of the expectations that they create in jurors for every case to be proven by overwhelming forensic evidence. That is not reality.

In many rape cases, it is a question of a woman saying a man raped her vs. a man who says either that they did not have sex or if they did, that said sex was consensual. In those instances, it's often up to the jury to decide what they believe. In that regard, cultural perspectives can play a big role.

Therumancer said:
Politics in these cases have created some massive travesties of justice, as rape is one of the few crimes where people have been convicted (sometimes regularly) on what amounts to purely circumstantial evidence
I would like to point out something: circumstantial evidence is not bad evidence and in fact, is often all the evidence that exists in criminal cases. The big difference between direct evidence and circumstantial evidence is that circumstantial evidence requires an inference between itself and the fact it attempts to prove. For example, If you look outside the window and see that it is raining outside, you have direct evidence that it is raining. If instead however, you are inside and you hear the door open and shut, and your mother comes walking into the house, wearing a raincoat, boots and with a wet umbrella, that is circumstantial evidence that it is raining outside.

Usually, with circumstantial evidence, the goal is to introduce multiple pieces of evidence, that taken together marginalize all inferences except the one that the prosecutor is trying to prove. For example, if Bob has gunpowder residue on his hands the night of the murder, that does not by itself prove that he killed anyone. He could have been at the gun range. But if Bob was scene in the vicinity of the murder shortly after it happened. And he was running. And the caliber of the gun used to kill the victim matches the gun Bob owns. And Bob knew the victim. And Bob had recently been fired from his job by the victim. Now take all this evidence (All of which is circumstantial) and look at it together, and suddenly we have a pretty strong case that Bob murdered the victim.

Therumancer said:
Feminism sucks because it by and large represents a dual standard, and the arguement that girls should be able to do things that get guys branded freaks or wierdos.
I would like to point out that "Feminism" does not represent a dual standard. Or I should say that if someone is advocating a dual standard, it is not "Feminism." Feminism, by definition is about equal rights for men and women. If you are advocating for disparity of rights between men and women, regardless of which side that disparity favors, you are by definition NOT a Feminist, regardless of what you chose to call yourself.
 

Darkmantle

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Mr. Omega said:
Darkmantle said:
Mr. Omega said:
When I read this article, I was moved. I went to go see who wrote it, and noticed it was billed as "Anonymous". I took just two seconds to think of the various things the gaming community has done recently on anything involving women in general, let alone rape, and I thought "Yeah, that's probably for the best..."

The fact that the gaming community has become so hostile towards women, especially in matters of sexuality, that even a well-written, well-thought out piece about a very serious topic is still likely to be labeled as the "work of the enemy" and trolled to hell and back, and is sure to bring out the "Misandry is just as bad as misogyny!" crowd makes me sick to my stomach.

Thank you for sharing such a difficult experience with us, and thank you for giving us a much-needed perspective on this matter. Maybe, just maybe, gamers can actually act like adults on this matter. But I really doubt it.
You are aware that the author is male right?
Well shoot, now i look like an idiot. I do still think there will be an ugly response or two here, but yes, that was a mistake I made, and I apologize.
I think that's part of the tragedy of this whole scenario honestly. It's not just a "woman's issue" and should not be treated as such. It's a people issue. I see a lot of people suggesting laws that are woman specific, and I disagree with them because of people such as the author here. It should apply to both male and female victims. I see a lot of the same tragedy in cases of Domestic Violence.

I know that's only tangentially related to your mistake, but it reminded me of my point. Many people seem to forget that it happens to both genders, and it's equally as vile no matter who it happens to.