The R Word

[Helmholtz Watson]

What's that got to do with anything? I'm not saying that you shouldn't be allowed to say it, i'm just saying you SHOULDNT SAY IT.

It has to do with you advocating that we shouldn't say something that might hurt somebodies feelings. As was pointed out, if we used this kind of thinking with other words there would be few things that people could say given how being offended is subjective.

 

[Awexsome]

What's that got to do with anything? I'm not saying that you shouldn't be allowed to say it, i'm just saying you SHOULDNT SAY IT.

It has to do with you advocating that we shouldn't say something that might hurt somebodies feelings. As was pointed out, if we used this kind of thinking with other words there would be few things that people could say given how being offended is subjective.

This isn't about other words, this is about rape. And how that in particular has such massive trauma and physiological effects on those who've experienced it.

Using the word casually even when not intending anything offensive or bad spirited at all still has heavy repercussions on those carrying that trauma. Not might, DOES.

That's why it makes someone an insensitive excuse for a human being if they ignore how it can effect others.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

My point was that people don't go on XBox live and tell their opponents that they are "going to murder them" or that they have "murdered them".

Have you ever played COD or Halo on Xbox live?

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

This isn't about other words, this is about rape. And how that in particular has such massive trauma and physiological effects on those who've experienced it.

Using the word casually even when not intending anything offensive or bad spirited at all still has heavy repercussions on those carrying that trauma. Not might, DOES.

That's why it makes someone an insensitive excuse for a human being if they ignore how it can effect others.

This is exactly about words. Saying something isn't the same thing as doing it.
If a person is easily offended by a subject, like rape, then they should avoid environments where the subject might come up. Everybody else shouldn't have to watch every word that they say on xbox live so that they don't offend the feelings of others. If the word rape is treated this way, what about other words or phrases that might offend people? There would be little to say if every possible phrase that might offend people was not spoken.

 

[Awexsome]

This isn't about other words, this is about rape. And how that in particular has such massive trauma and physiological effects on those who've experienced it.

Using the word casually even when not intending anything offensive or bad spirited at all still has heavy repercussions on those carrying that trauma. Not might, DOES.

That's why it makes someone an insensitive excuse for a human being if they ignore how it can effect others.

This is exactly about words. Saying something isn't the same thing as doing it.
If a person is easily offended by a subject, like rape, then they should avoid environments where the subject might come up. Everybody else shouldn't have to watch every word that they say on xbox live so that they don't offend the feelings of others. If the word rape is treattle to say if every possible phrase that might offend people was not spoken.

Those victims shouldn't have to live with that to satisfy others' preference to use whatever words casually they want.

In my opinion one person's freedom to speak what they want regardless of effects of others is not as important as another's freedom to go about their life without that trauma resurfacing and causing major damage.

I think very poorly of those who think that freedom of speech is more important than others well-being.

 

[renegade7]

Wow...I don't actually know what to say. I salute you.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Those victims shouldn't have to live with that to satisfy others' preference to use whatever words casually they want.

In my opinion one person's freedom to speak what they want regardless of effects of others is not as important as another's freedom to go about their life without that trauma resurfacing and causing major damage.

I think very poorly of those who think that freedom of speech is more important than others well-being.

Those victims have the right to go where ever they like, however people who use Xbox live also have the right to speak while using a hyperbole.

And in my opinion, being offended doesn't justify silencing others who say things that a minority group of people don' like to hear.

Well you are entitled to think poorly of people on Xbox live just as they are entitled to use a hyperbole.

 

[Awexsome]

Those victims shouldn't have to live with that to satisfy others' preference to use whatever words casually they want.

In my opinion one person's freedom to speak what they want regardless of effects of others is not as important as another's freedom to go about their life without that trauma resurfacing and causing major damage.

I think very poorly of those who think that freedom of speech is more important than others well-being.

Those victims have the right to go where ever they like, however people who use Xbox live also have the right to speak while using a hyperbole.

And in my opinion, being offended doesn't justify silencing others who say things that a minority group of people don' like to hear.

Well you are entitled to think poorly of people on Xbox live just as they are entitled to use a hyperbole.

Just to clarify. It's not 'being offended'. It's being mentally scarred.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Those victims shouldn't have to live with that to satisfy others' preference to use whatever words casually they want.

In my opinion one person's freedom to speak what they want regardless of effects of others is not as important as another's freedom to go about their life without that trauma resurfacing and causing major damage.

I think very poorly of those who think that freedom of speech is more important than others well-being.

Those victims have the right to go where ever they like, however people who use Xbox live also have the right to speak while using a hyperbole.

And in my opinion, being offended doesn't justify silencing others who say things that a minority group of people don' like to hear.

Well you are entitled to think poorly of people on Xbox live just as they are entitled to use a hyperbole.

Just to clarify. It's not 'being offended'. It's being mentally scarred.

No, I mean the word "offended". The person who is the rapist is the one who mentally scars someone, not the person using the hyperbole.

 

[Awexsome]

Those victims shouldn't have to live with that to satisfy others' preference to use whatever words casually they want.

In my opinion one person's freedom to speak what they want regardless of effects of others is not as important as another's freedom to go about their life without that trauma resurfacing and causing major damage.

I think very poorly of those who think that freedom of speech is more important than others well-being.

Those victims have the right to go where ever they like, however people who use Xbox live also have the right to speak while using a hyperbole.

And in my opinion, being offended doesn't justify silencing others who say things that a minority group of people don' like to hear.

Well you are entitled to think poorly of people on Xbox live just as they are entitled to use a hyperbole.

Just to clarify. It's not 'being offended'. It's being mentally scarred.

No, I mean the word "offended". The person who is the rapist is the one who mentally scars someone, not the person using the hyperbole.

Did you even READ the article? About how instances of it being brought up with hyperbole can cause that mental trauma to resurface?

If you don't think that should be the person who uses the hyperbole's problem or concern then you're wrong.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Did you even READ the article? About how instances of it being brought up with hyperbole can cause that mental trauma to resurface?

I was making the point that using a hyperbole doesn't cause mental scarring because the way you worded your last post, you made it sound like a hyperbole could do such a thing.
As for bringing up mental scarring, I go back to my earlier point. If you knowingly enter an environment where people swear, use hyperboles, and shout at each other, then you should prepare yourself or avoid it. For example, if I don't like racist/sexist/pornographic posting on message boards, then I should avoid 4chan.

If you don't think that should be the person who uses the hyperbole's problem or concern then you're wrong.

It is my opinion on a subjective matter and thus I can't be wrong. Nor can you be wrong for that matter. All that can be determined is that you and I have a difference of opinion on a subjective topic.

 

[heliosmajestus]

I rarely read articles on The Escapist, i just ignore em' most of the time. Im truly glad I did not ignore it this time. Thank you truly

 

[CaptainKarma]

Did you even READ the article? About how instances of it being brought up with hyperbole can cause that mental trauma to resurface?

I was making the point that using a hyperbole doesn't cause mental scarring because the way you worded your last post, you made it sound like a hyperbole could do such a thing.
As for bringing up mental scarring, I go back to my earlier point. If you knowingly enter an environment where people swear, use hyperboles, and shout at each other, then you should prepare yourself or avoid it. For example, if I don't like racist/sexist/pornographic posting on message boards, then I should avoid 4chan.

If you don't think that should be the person who uses the hyperbole's problem or concern then you're wrong.

It is my opinion on a subjective matter and thus I can't be wrong. Nor can you be wrong for that matter. All that can be determined is that you and I have a difference of opinion on a subjective topic.

That doesn't mean we have to take your opinion as a given, nor does it mean your opinion is beyond criticism. And again, you fall back to that same baloney censorship idea. I'm curious, what are these offensive things that are so worth saying, the ones you scared we're going to lose if we stop creating a hostile environment on XBox Live?

 

[GryffinDarkBreed]

I'd like to say this:

The Feminist Agenda in the early 20th century was "Equal Rights"

Currently though it seems more like "We deserve more than men because uterus."

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

Thank you, for sharing this. It's made me realise I have some things I need to think about.

Also, if I ever used the word as slang before, written, verbally, and it caused someone pain, whomever you are, I'm sorry.

 

[ms_sunlight]

It is my opinion on a subjective matter and thus I can't be wrong. Nor can you be wrong for that matter. All that can be determined is that you and I have a difference of opinion on a subjective topic.

It's an ethical and a social question, not a purely subjective one. Without getting into the wrongs and rights of it, the way we speak to and around others does affect them - it's why even judicial systems with strong protection for freedom of speech tend to have exceptions for harassment, hate speech, "fighting talk" and "shouting fire in a crowded theatre".

Personally, I do avoid 4chan and Xbox Live and the like. I can't be doing with all the racism, sexism, homophobia and other assorted bigotry. People have a right to say certain things; I have a right to think they're dickheads.

 

[ocarrollcian]

That was not easy reading and I cannot imagine how hard it was to write. I believe every other account I have read may have been indirect, however detailed...and they were enough to scar my sense of what people can be, and wake up to the reality of it. I am so sorry for the pain you have experienced and continue to. I honestly hope that your article, and what you have given to everyone else, goes some way towards developing thoughtfulness across the gaming community. What you have written was perfectly human and argumentatively perfect. How we *make* games and how we talk to people *in* games intimately involves how we think of or treat other people.

I'll be holding on to this article and will pass it on any time it is pertinent.

[Trigger warning for just about everything: Words denoting horrendous things are mentioned, but the things themselves, except death, are not discussed.]
I have once made the mistake of speaking, without trigger warning, about a fictional rape narrative (although in serious and critical terms) to a dear friend who turned and said "Can you please...not talk about this any more." with her eyes tearing up. You never know who has been through what and you never expect it. I hope your article wakes people up, into thinking before they speak, so that they never have to experience that guilt of naively and unintentionally opening the deepest wounds of a loved one, or indeed anyone. When we hear the words "step-dad", notice a home has only one parent, see scars, or family photos with more members than the family, we know that there's a story there, that we ought tread softly. Psychological trauma doesn't leave visible scars, though it may associate with them: suicide, abortion, rape or abuse - we have no idea who has been marked by them.

 

[TheOrb]

Although I will probably never experience the emotional turmoil you're going through, I only have a notion that what was done to you was "Bad" but nothing else. That may make me sound callous but as I understand it: you can only understand the person if you went through what they went through. Not that I'm asking to be raped, but it's just that I will never know (exactly or vaguely)how you feel unless I am subjected to it.
--
That being said:
1. Very strong penultimate paragraph.
2. Well done.
3. Thank you.

 

[Bluradic]

First off, props to Anonymous. This article took courage and was about something that needed to be said. You are awesome.

Second, I've been reading through a couple pages of the comments. Both sides make good and not so good points. I find it curious that there seems to be a lack of completely disgusting and ignorant comments. So far almost all of the people who've commented, from what I've seen, have tried to have serious conversations without derailing into just tossing insults at one another. I think that the type of people who tend to make those misogynist or homophobic comments don't want to speak up since they know they would be torn to pieces here. I think that is a small win for the gaming community. If we encourage this type environment, a place where peer pressure creates social consequences, we would see a huge improvement in our community.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

It's an ethical and a social question, not a purely subjective one.

I hope I don't have to point out to you that ethics and social values are also subjective. Just look at how people were punished 200 years ago and how people are punished now. What people and society considers ethical changes over time.

Personally, I do avoid 4chan and Xbox Live and the like. I can't be doing with all the racism, sexism, homophobia and other assorted bigotry. People have a right to say certain things; I have a right to think they're dickheads.

And you have every right to think that.

That doesn't mean we have to take your opinion as a given, nor does it mean your opinion is beyond criticism.

Never said you had to nor did I say that my opinon was free from criticism. I only stated that my opinion on a subjective matter is neither wrong nor right. It is just an opinion.

And again, you fall back to that same baloney censorship idea. I'm curious, what are these offensive things that are so worth saying, the ones you scared we're going to lose if we stop creating a hostile environment on XBox Live?

Any phrase that a person finds offensive, and seeing as how being offended is a subjective thing, I couldn't possibly list all the things that a person finds offensive.