The Wild Wasteland | The Gates of Megaton
The Cheddar Riots
Thomas "Shifty" McGee
This had been a rather familiar experience for Thomas "Shifty" McGee recently. Between Sylphee and Jonathan, Thomas' face was starting to feel like the sadistic running gag. This wasn't what was important however. The sounds of weapons being fired, men screaming for their lives and the clash of blades was familiar to the Former Undertaker Union Assassin. Were he able to see through his watering tear filled eyes and smell through his bloody nose, he more than likely would have found the stimuli quite familiar as well. The D-Cupped Dairy Queen had literally lost her marbles, what few she had left given the company she kept, and gone all Butcher Pete on the Proprietor of Moriarty's Saloon. Kristin Blamco's giant
buster sword Bumper Sword came down like a guillotine and almost cleaved Moriarty's arm clean off and setting off the resulting brawl.
"(
Dammit!)" Thomas cursed internally as he blinked the tears out of his eyes. A sound to his left caught his attention as he saw one of Moriarty's goons bringing down the butt of his rifle down on Sylph's head, sending the Crimson Calamity to her knees. An expression of pain was tattooed on Sylph's face as she drew her Katana from its scabbard, thrusting it backwards into the gut of her attacker. The man instinctively dropped the rifle as he tried to keep himself from spilling his guts all over the place. Another flash of polished steel separated the man's head from the rest of his body.
Drawn by the sounds of a brawl, more men on Moriarty's payroll appeared. The longer the fight went, the greater the chances that the group would be overrun. They needed to get the hell out of Megaton and the best way to do it would have been to stop Kristin and get her retreat with them through the gates.
"Sylph!" The Master of the Red Menace called out, pointing towards the Busty Blamco Berserker, "Get her t-"
A pair of arms reached out and wrapped themselves around the darkly clad Undertaker, cutting off his order to get Kristin to stop fighting. Holding him in place, one of Moriarty's goons started pummeling Thomas with his fists, a couple of the blows catching him in the face, once again.
"Omph!" Thomas omph'd as he caught a fist with his nose, the cracking down bringing more tears to his eyes. Lashing out with a long leg that had been strengthened by bicycling the length of the continental Former United States, Thomas struck the goon in front of him in the groin, causing the man to bend over as the sound of Thomas' cracked nose was echoed by the man's shattered testicles. Pointing Millie downwards and behind him, Thomas pulled the trigger, shooting blindly. The man behind him screamed as a bullet passed through his foot, sending him careening to the ground as the Undertaker whipped the 10mm pistol towards the goon in front of him, sending a bullet through the man's kneecap.
The last headbutt and punch that he'd been on the receiving end of felt like it might have cracked something. Touching his nose, the Pained Former Undertaker of the East felt a slight bend in his once proud beak.
"Uh... ow." Thomas said as he brought both hands up to his face, attempting to reset the shattered bit of cartilage into something resembling a nose. One stream of tears, a grunt of pain and a string of curses later, Thomas had a nose once again. Though all that pain would more than likely be for naught if they didn't get out of the situation soon.
Turning towards the gates, Thomas noted that more than a few of Team Irish Bastard had taken upon themselves to block Thomas and Friends' sole route of escape. To his left Lucy stood in the sea on minions, burning holes in the chests and faces of her targets. To his right, Arizona had taken the opportunity to introduce the Megatonian populace to Lester, the sound of Light Machine Gun fire bouncing off the walls.
Marching towards the gates, Thomas held both Millie and a combat knife in his hands. Of the four goons, the largest... I mean he must have been mothered by a Behemoth and raised on Behemoth breast milk or something because boy was this guy big... was the first one to go down. As he approached the first opponent, the Fully Cocked Undertaker unloaded 2 or 3 rounds into the man's kneecaps causing an explosion of bone, blood and tissue. The tip of the blade sliced through the man's throat ensuring that he would not be getting up any time soon and if he did, he'd not be recovering anytime soon. The others were taken care of soon just as easily.
Having cleared out the men from the gates, Thomas turned to Arizona and Lucy. Motioning for them to get the hell through the gates before more of Moriarty's henchmen decided to make their brawling debut. He would have motioned for Sylph as well but it appeared that she was quite busy... assaulting Kristin Blamco.
There had never been a better opportunity to be rid of Sylph than now. With her attention being drawn away by the High Princess of the Cheddar Priesthood, Thomas, Lucy and Arizona could have made their escape without Sylph being any the wiser. Taking a step towards the Gates (and loading screen), Thomas hesitated, turning to look at the Crimson Menace as she charged the Cheddar Champion.
"
WALT DAMMIT!" Shifty cursed as he made a run towards the Crimson Catastrophe only to be cut off by more of Moriarty's men. Their time, it seemed had come to it's final climax.
Surrounded on all sides, the group was hopelessly outnumbered... Thomas' movements ground to a halt. It was of no use for him to continue fighting. Without the Friendly Former Undertaker's continued assault, Moriarty's men closed in. Despite his death being at hand, The Darkly Dressed Assistant to the Departed scanned the field for Lucy. Stopping when he saw the One Eyed Former Gauss Girl pressed against a wall, her face marred my steaks of tears. He needed to reach her. As he took a step forward, a wave of goons moved to cut off his apparent retreat. He was not retreating though, he just needed to reach her.
Surrounded on all sides, the group was hopelessly outnumbered... the staccato of machine gun fire raked through the mass of promised pain and eventual death. Arizona was still alive. Thomas found himself rather pleased that Arizona was still alive. Despite the gruff exterior that matched her ghoulish facade, it seemed that there was something rather motherly about the Old One. He deeply regretted failing her.
Surrounded on all sides, the group was hopelessly outnumbered... a limb flew past Thomas's head before splatting against the wall, leaving a crimson splat where it had impacted. It seemed that Sylph and Kristin were still alive and still going at each other, though despite their inability to kill each other, Moriarty's massed men were still paying a price when they got too close. The Friendly Former Undertaker's thoughts briefly rested on Sylph. Young, naive, filled with pain... at least the pain would be gone after today.
Surrounded on all sides, the group was hopelessly outnumbered... at least they would have been were it not for the timely intervention of one Lieutenant Natsuki Manriki.
A flash of pink hair and horns was the only sign that something... not quite human... had become involved in the fight... that and the launching of goons into the air. As quickly as the fight had been started by a woman, it had been ended by a woman. Looking at the pink haired horny girl that had saved their collective asses, Thomas noted the Power Armor that the young woman wore. Black as if the armor had been crafted with a material so dense that light could not escape its clutches. The girl, whose name Thomas recognized from his time in suspended animation, spoke with Sheriff Simms, who'd been rather incompetent in stopping this brawl.
He took the opportunity to take a survey of the status of the others, goons included. As he looked at the piles of unconscious goons he saw a flash of blue hair and crimson clothing causing a wave of concern and dread to wash over him.
"SYLPH?!" The Friendly Former Undertaker exclaimed as he started walking towards the semi-dazed Sylph.
"Father?" Came a familiar voice from behind The Darkly Dressed Former Undertaker, causing him to turn. The sight of Sylph in standing there as opposed to what he had just seen caused Thomas to shake his head vigorously, as if he was attempting to shake the cobwebs from his brain. Turning back around he noted that there was no one there other than unconscious goons.
"Nothing." Thomas said as he turned his attention back to Natsuki.
"For all our sakes. Something hideous is growing there, and we're having trouble getting near it ourselves. If you'd like to see tomorrow, be a good guy today, and let it go. We've already let the Brotherhood of Steel get wind of what else is coming. They'll be preparing. You should too." Natsuki concluded her speech.
Approaching the Enclave Lieutenant, the Former Undertaker of the East cocked his head to the side, giving her a curious look.
"You look a lot different from how I imagined based on how Lilith spoke of you." The Undertaker said boldly as he tempted fate.
Natsuki blinked at this.
"'Spoke'? I don't mean to be rude, but...weren't you frozen before? When did you talk to Lilith?" Natsuki responded.
"S'ah funny thing. I was frozen and yet, still very much conscious. I wouldn't recommend it as far as a beauty regimen." The Undertaker quipped, "And it's still a funny thing that she was able to speak to me despite me being frozen and I do mean speak in a very loose sense of the word. The sort of loose in the way of being able to bypass my ears and beam words directly into my skull. It was... a very neat trick for a very... strange child. Don't see much of a family resemblance. Must be your lack of wings. That's quite the interesting family that FalloutJack has assembled..."
"Ah, well... She's kind of...adopted. Lilith's a Deathclaw." Came the response from the Lieutenant.
"Right... that explains... everything." Thomas said in a sort of verbal throwing up of the hands. It didn't actually explain anything at all considering: WHEN DID THE DEATHCLAWS BECOME ADOPTABLE?!
"Uh... huh." Thomas uh huh'd as if he'd stepped out of a loony bin right into an even larger loony bin that contained the loony bin that he'd just stepped out of, "You're not reading my thoughts right now, are you? Considering that display from earlier," gesturing towards the unconscious minions.
Of course, one didn't really need to be able to read minds considering the way that Shifty's face shifted when his eyes fell upon Lucy Black.
She smiled at this.
"Please, I'm not psychic. I'm just
very good." She added.
"I'll take your word for it," He said mentally making an addendum to his response, "
(psycho)."
"Now why would the Enclave be interested in sending us to Dunwich. If I remember correctly the goals of the Enclave and the goals of the Brotherhood are... diametrically opposed. If things are as bad as you say, wouldn't it be simpler for the Enclave to let whatever's going on in Dunwich wipe out the Wastes before swooping in and taking everything?" Now Thomas, let's not give the evil pink haired horny girl ideas.
Now, she gave Shifty a deadpan look.
"Oh,
sure. We want 'Ghouls Gone Wild' all over the place. That's
much better than dealing with
people. Something fucking
evil is going on over there, something with alot of ghouls. We know about as much as Morgan Bloom does. The sooner we all get more information, the sooner it gets wiped out. Ya dig?"
Thomas dug, alright, Thomas dug.
"Fine. Just keep your psycho friend away from us." The Formerly Friendly Former Undertaker stated referring to everyone's favorite Enclave Intelligence Agent and Interrogator, "You guys have some shitty hiring practices..."
"#411 was rescued from raiders and volunteered. She's very good with Intelligence, but she's bad at people skills. However, she has a nice kid."
The Undertaker opened his mouth, about to make a commentary on the Enclave's breeding allowances and the fact that #411's child was probably another Deathclaw, but stopped himself. Nothing would come out of goading Jack's dearest little psychic daughter into ripping them apart limb from limb.
"Right. People skills." Thomas grunted before remaining silent. The conversation was over, stick a fork in it, it was done. He walked over to the gates and waited for the others. There were still a few other things that needed discussion and settling. The whole brawl between Kristin and Sylph for one and the likelihood of Kristin and Jonathan traveling with the quartet for two and three, there was the matter to be discussed with Lucy.
The Lucy Lover saw the Double Laser Duelist and approached her. He wondered as he closed in on her what had occurred earlier during the fight that had caused her to react in such a manner. He worried that there was something hopelessly broken within the embodiment of his rekindled hope. Without a work, he wrapped his arms around Lucy Black.
[hr]
The Wild Wasteland | The Gates of Megaton
Sylphee ga Kill!
Sylph
WHAM!
The world went all topsy turvy for a moment as someone managed to sneak up on the Red Menace and slam the butt of their rifle against the back of Sylph's head. An uncharacteristic grunt of pain escaping her lips as she was forced to her knees. Pulling her Gifted Katana from its sheath, the Crimson Calamity thrust the sword backwards, impaling her assaulter on the curved blade before it was wrest from his gut and severed head from torso. The body pitched forward, its still grasping at a loop of exposed intestines before a twin jet arterial blood sprayed the front of Sylph's dress. There was a slight smile on Sylph's face as a sense of ... something strange... set in.
Was it contentment? Was it joy? Just a few of the concepts foreign to Sylph's brain until recently thanks to their introduction by Arizona. The smile broadened even more just seeing the number of potential corpses were on the field.
"Sylph! Get her t-" Father started to say before he was mugged by a couple of Moriarty's goons. While the command had not been completed verbally, the intent behind the command was obvious. She was to stop Kristin by any means necessary... including killing her.
Turning her attention towards the Busty BlamCo Baroness, the Red Menace witnessed the cleaving of a goon by the Dairy Diva's Bumper Sword, the man's arms flailing as his upper body arced in the air. Using the opportunity presented by the Dairy Delight's follow through, the Red Menace planted her feet for moment before breaking out into a sprint.
CLUNK!
Sylph's boots came in contact with the surface of the Blade as she used Kristin's Holy Bumper Sword as a ramp and springboard to jump over Kristin's head before delivering a jaw popping kick to the side of Moriarty's head. Landing on her feet Sylph spun around and thrust the butt of her sword against the Chesty Cheddar Cheese Queen's solar plexus. The duel was on.
The Red Menace was surprised to see an expression on anticipation on the Berserker's face. The two duelists circled each other, looking for an opportunity to strike, looking for an opening that would allow them to claim total victory through a single strike. Neither of them would find that magical moment... but it didn't hurt to try.
The Bumper Sword cut through the air, a horizontal slash whose impact promised a quick death via decapitation or broken neck. Despite the apparent weight of the weapon, the Dairy Duelist appeared to have no issue wielding the over weight weapon. Sylph's Gifted Katana intercepted the strike, turning the strike upwards and over her Blue Haired Head. Kristin's bumper sword was still able to taste blood as it bit into the arm of a goon that had stray too close to the duel for his own good. The limb flew across the field before coming to rest against the wall.
So powerful was the Valkyrie's strike that is caused Sylph's feet to skid backwards despite having braced for impact. Blocking the Dairy Queen's strikes appeared to be a rather poor choice of actions as Sylph felt her shoulders desire to pop out of their socket.
The redirected assault continued on its course of destruction, the side strike's momentum being redirected into a low strike launcher. A scream of pain echoed over the skies of Megaton as Sylph switched places with a goon who found out what he was comprised of.
Using the opening presented by the wildly gory strike, the Crimson Catastrophe countered, lashing out with her foot.
*THUD*
It seemed that Kristin was not without her own surprises. In a feat of strength that would have rivaled Hercules, the Fromage Eating Fury reversed the grip on her Sword and brought it down into the ground, using the tip as a pivot point to deflect the kick with the flat of her blade.
*CLANG*
Steel met steel. The reverberation of the two swords clashing. Sylphs's sword strike being deflected by a simple tilt of the Bumper Sword by the Cheddar Queen. Frustrated by the strong defense being presented, Sylph thrust with her Gifted Katana, watching as the blade was once again turned by a simple tilt of the planted Bumper Sword before it was driven into the chest of Minion of Moriarty's that had attempted to use the diverted attention to sneak up on Kristin Blamco.
*CRACK*
Taking advantage of Sylph's over extension, Kristin's knee shot up and nailed the Blue Haired Butched in the gut before bringing twin fists down on her back sending the girl crashing to the ground. Sylph saw stars again as she came to a skidding halt. Picking herself up, Sylph charged once again and once again was flustered by Kristin's seemingly impenetrable defense.
Bringing the Katana down on high, Sylph attempted to sever one of the Blamco Baroness' hands forcing Kristin to release her grip on the blade's hilt. An opening? Sylph kicked the blade, driving the hilt into Kristin's abdomen, forcing her Platinum haired Priestess double over slightly. An welcome reaction as the Bloody Berserker had kicked off of the Bumper Sword and performed a back flip, her trailing foot catching Kristin just under the chin. As Sylph reached the apex of her flip, she pointed her right arm at the Berserker Princess, twisting her wrist. This time the blade extended, slicing into the Dairy Queen's shoulder.
A lucky strike? Perhaps. Even if this was the only time that Sylph would draw blood, the Lady of Lactose would have a souvenir to remember the Red Menace by. But the fight was still a stalemate with the only losers being the men who'd strayed too close to the Maelstrom of Mayhem... the Typhoon of Terror... the Dance of Death.
Lifting the sword, Kristin positioned it before her, the tip of the blade pointed directly as Sylph who was mirroring the pose. Time seemed to slow for the two as Sylph charged at Kristin. She never reach her destination however... Natsuki had taken a position on the field of battle... causing all hostilities to cease.
