THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT TACONEWS!!!

[xaszatm]

I've been here since 2008. This is the best OP I've seen in Escapist history. Serious, give yourself a pat on the back. Of course, this couldn't have been possible without Taco doing his thing, who deserves praise for his great posts too. I just love how you went all meta on something that was being meta. Metaception.

Aw, thanks.

Spoiler: Also Obligatory

WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER

The only God who really exist and should be worshiped, is Caramel Frappe! All other "gods" are nothing but fakes and deceivers. We of the one true religion shall strike the infidels down. Unite my Coffee Drinking Brethren!!!!! Destroy our enemies!

But all gods are welcome here! Why do we fight?

 

[Qwurty2.0]

We all know that ONLY I, Qwurticus, Destroyer of Worlds, am the one true God!

This is obvious, as evidenced by the fact than only a god would declare himself as such in such a dramatic fashion to the masses.

Or a psychopath.

...wait a second...

 

[Skatologist]

Spoiler: Also Obligatory

WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER

Spoiler

Why am i always so tempted to make stupid sex jokes when I hear the words deeper and rear? I guess it's the last letter being r, definitely not that I'm immature about sex, definitely not that. >_>

The only God who really exist and should be worshiped, is Caramel Frappe! All other "gods" are nothing but fakes and deceivers. We of the one true religion shall strike the infidels down. Unite my Coffee Drinking Brethren!!!!! Destroy our enemies!

But all gods are welcome here! Why do we fight?

Because this is Smash Bros 4 and we are either fighting for fun or for glory. i'm thinking we are doing a little bit of both.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

TIL I am a god.

Gods need a theme tune, it's written in a book somewhere, I swear.

 

[xaszatm]

Spoiler: It's anime bunny girls!

THAT IS YOUR GOD AND YOU'VE CHOSEN WELL!

We know we chose well, all glory to the crunchiest of Tacos!

I for one welcome out truth bring Taco Lord, as he brings the truthiest of truths!

Hm...post count seems good...

[HEADING=1]ALL HAIL TIZZYTHETORMENTOR: GOD OF TIZZINESS![/HEADING]

 

[Skatologist]

More gods have appeared, we must shower them with gif(t)s!

 

[xaszatm]

PRAISE BE TO CARAMEL FRAPPE: COFFEE GOD

I'm not worthy to be a God. I admit, I have obtained more attention than I should of on this website but I am still grateful-
.... Okay it's to cheesy. I will just admit that it was REALLY cool seeing my name in huge caps with someone nominating me as a God lol. Still, other people like Marter, Tizzy, Sassafrass, ect. deserve such titles and it's not because of their post count.

OT: Have to wake up at 4 AM every day?
Seeking enlightenment to fill your blood with high doses of caffeine?
Wishing to stay alert so your wife doesn't sneak out and visit your neighbor again?

Fear not, for the COFFEE GOD is merciful to those who're civil beings in this cursed world.
And you get 1 FREE drink per time you visit your closest Starbucks! Or McDonalds ... but eh.

...fine, but only if they post in this thread.

*CTRL+F "Marter."
*No results found*

How dare you take other gods before Me?

I mean, Taco's Illuminati, sure, but, like, Daystar? A god? Ha!

[HEADING=1]PRIASE BE TO MARTER: GOD OF WRATH[/HEADING]

 

[xaszatm]

Snip

Also thanks to you.. I decided to change my custom title just for fun. Great thread you have going here- I can see you naming each person some sort of God based off their personality or interest!

.. Wouldn't you be the Ultimate Prophet though? Spreading the word about multiple Gods around the web world?

I am but a humble man. Godhood is of yet too far from my reach. But perhaps one day, I shall join your ranks. *tear slowly falls from my eye as majestic music plays*

(Also, I'm glad you're having fun)

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I don't report the news for two days and people start declaring you a god...

I'm not complaining mind you, I always wanted to be revered in the eyes of the proletarians!

So thank you xaszatm for making the truth be known to the people

First the Escapist, then the WORLD!

Nonono!!! The rules go if someone asks you if you're a god you say "yes!" but if they just proclaim you to be god, deny deny deny. It makes you more credible that way... denial of divinity is in and of itself a sign of divinity.

 

[Drummodino]

This thread is the best damn thing I've seen today xD

Kudos xaszatm, you made me laugh. Praise be to the gods of the Escapist!

 

[Elfgore]

The only God who really exist and should be worshiped, is Caramel Frappe! All other "gods" are nothing but fakes and deceivers. We of the one true religion shall strike the infidels down. Unite my Coffee Drinking Brethren!!!!! Destroy our enemies!

But all gods are welcome here! Why do we fight?

Because the infidels must be learned through way of the blade. Death to the non-believers!

snip

My lord hath rewarded me for my loyalty! What bounties shall thy receive for more! I must lead an inquisition against my brethren, we must weed out the unfaithful! For the Caramel!

 

[Colour Scientist]

Daystar and Fappy are Gods?

They don't even go here!

TIL I am a god.

Yeah, god of being a douche.

 

[Skatologist]

@Colour Scientist: Wait, 5 digits worth of posts? You madam are a Goddess here! Now, the question is what you are Goddess of...

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Daystar and Fappy are Gods?

They don't even go here!

TIL I am a god.

Yeah, god of being a douche.

You're just totes jelly of my divinity.

Mhmmm your tears, they taste like potatoes.

 

[Skatologist]

Daystar and Fappy are Gods?

They don't even go here!

TIL I am a god.

Yeah, god of being a douche.

You're just totes jelly of my divinity.

Mhmmm your tears, they taste like potatoes.

But...she is a god too. Perhaps not as big and strong and handsome and all powerful as you with your near 3 times as many posts, but she is a divine being nonetheless. Respect what is essentially your sister/coworker/we really need to know how you guys are tied together!

Spoiler

That be a fun idea, starting a mythos for this thread. What do you think?

 

[Aerosteam]

You are making false statements.

Because... I was actually the one who made his avatar.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Respect what is essentially your sister

I really hope that isn't true.

That would raise some serious moral questions.

 

[Jandau]

PsychicTaco banged Zoe Quinn. True story...

 

[JoJo]

PsychicTaco banged Zoe Quinn. True story...

I know right, why won't the media pick up on Taco's discretions, giving out free newscasts in exchange for sex! It's madness.

On topic, I approve of this new religion, any suggestions what I should patronise with my new found powers?

 

[StormShaun]

As resident self-claimed Archangel ...
The only true God here is the sun, and our sun on the Escapist is Jim Sterling!

Do not be fooled by these false deities, they created such tomfoolery as Aliens: Colonial Marines, on-disk DLC, and those threads about Zoe Quinn/Anita Sarkeesian.

Praise the sun chungus!
and praise be to those mods that guard his threads! [sub][sub][sub]... and pants.[/sub][/sub][/sub]