The slut issue

Kakashi on crack

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So I have a question...

We call someone a liar if they lie, especially if they lie a lot.

We call someone a cheater if they cheat, especially if they cheat a lot (Whether we speak from a videogame sense or a marriage-breaking stance)

We call someone a gamer if they play a lot of games... I could go on, you get the point.

So then why is it "wrong" to call someone a player/slut if they sleep around a lot? It seems to me like you're just stating the obvious with this, you know?
 

Evil Smurf

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Nov 11, 2011
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because calling someone a slut unfairly is mean and it does happen. Besides some people have a different definition to you: "a woman who dresses provocatively", you know boobs everywhere.

Although I don't see a problem with women who dress all sexual like.
 

DoPo

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Jan 30, 2012
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Because the intent behind it is not to state the obvious but to be insulting. I don't believe I have to spell it out: intent matters. You can intellectualise all the insults hurled around, and come to the conclusion that they aren't insulting. At the same time, that's missing a lot of the context.
 

Queen Michael

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Jun 9, 2009
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The problem it's that it doesn't just categorize, it judges. "Liar" just mean "person who tells lies," but "slut" means "person who has a lot of sex and is a bad person because of that."
 

JimB

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Kakashi on crack said:
So then why is it "wrong" to call someone a player/slut if they sleep around a lot? It seems to me like you're just stating the obvious with this, you know?
Because the word "slut" carries with it a tone of judgment, and a person's sex life is not subject to moral judgment so long as everyone involved in it is a consenting adult.

As for "player," I've never heard anyone argue it's wrong.
 

generals3

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DoPo said:
Because the intent behind it is not to state the obvious but to be insulting. I don't believe I have to spell it out: intent matters. You can intellectualise all the insults hurled around, and come to the conclusion that they aren't insulting. At the same time, that's missing a lot of the context.
It can both. Like calling someone a liar or cheater. Those are obviously negative characteristics like "slut". I won't let society subjugate me into not stating the obvious. If it hurts their feelings maybe they need to look into a mirror. Because if a word describing your behavior hurts your feelings you have only yourself to blame.

This is not to say calling someone a slut is always justified as some people have rather "conservative" standards on that subject. But it's the same with everything. People get called liars or cheaters unfairly quite often as well.
 

manic_depressive13

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Yeah, but lying and cheating are bad while having lots of sex is just a choice someone makes. It doesn't hurt anyone. Firstly, to demonise someone for choosing to have lots of sex with different people is extremely puritanical. Secondly, it wasn't so long ago that if a woman had sex (or was suspected to have had sex) outside of marriage she pretty much lost her worth as a human being. In some places this still happens. Calling women derogatory names for having sex, as if it somehow devalues them, makes me feel fucking sick. "Player" isn't nearly as bad as slut. If it is used disapprovingly this is because it implies deceiving or manipulating women to get them into bed. It is bad because the man is implied to be dishonest, not because he has lots of sex.

generals3 said:
Because if a word describing your behavior hurts your feelings you have only yourself to blame.
Slut is a slur. That's like calling your flamboyant friend a ****** and saying "Well it describes your behaviour!" It isn't a descriptor. It's a loaded term with extremely negative connotations.
 

NinjaDeathSlap

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Feb 20, 2011
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Because it's indicative of the last remnants off the most backward parts of our history, where sex is still considered something sordid and shameful, particularly for women.

If someone lies or cheats, even if they're lying to protect someone, or cheating on an already dead marriage, there is still an argument to be made that they have done something wrong.

Calling someone who plays games a 'gamer' is nothing more than a descriptive term, and I've never seen that particular term used as an insult like, for example 'nerd' has been.

If someone who is single chooses to have a lot of sex, so long as they are aware of and take measures against the risks involved, 'slut' does not count as a descriptive term because it implies other things, such as having no moral code, no standards, and no sense of responsibility.

Calling any woman who has a lot of sex, regardless of whether they are responsible or not, a 'slut' is not being descriptive, it's being a controlling, repressed bigot.
 

Dags90

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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I'll leave you with this piece of wisdom OP: you can say anything you like, anything. It just depends on how you say it.

OP, you sort of hint at in your OP. Men are players when they sleep around, women are sluts. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things is different a-sexist-double-standard-propagated-by-a-patriarchal-society. (I think that has a better ring to it)
 

Basement Cat

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Jul 26, 2012
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There's a recognized gender bias involved. One that is largely based on a double standard.

"Player" refers to promiscuous males, and given that in most societies coupling with many women is an admired 'masculine' characteristic it isn't pejorative.

"Slut" is one of several terms that refer to prostitution. Given that most prostitutes from the beginning of time are female the term is pejorative.

The double standard is that promiscuous men are not only accepted but admired by male society at large, while promiscuous women are looked down upon for being very sexually active.

In European society during the Middle Ages women were viewed as having a greater sexual drive (source:The Knight in History by Frances Gies) than men and apparently there was less social condemnation of them for it. During the Victorian era cultural mores resulted in a staggering level of sexual repression for men and especially women.
Given that the British Empire was spread all over the planet during the 19th century ("The sun never sets on the British Empire" was the saying) the Victorian era's social proprieties were imprinted deeply in societies all over the world.

Trivia: It was Madonna's promiscuity (Her 'flavor of the month') and the 1980's MTV generation that led to America's younger generation divesting itself of much of the mind-set mentioned in the movie "The Breakfast Club': If you have sex then you're a slut. But if you don't have sex then you're a prude. There was no grey area. Both terms were used as insults for girls.

Times have changed. My oh my, how times have changed.

But slut is still a pejorative term.
 

Fappy

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Because... "slut" is an insult. Some people don't consider sleeping around a bad thing.
 

InsanityRequiem

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*Unbiased/objective shield on. With added flame-proofing.*

Well, liar and cheater are insults too. And with a degrading tone they can be an attempt to shame the person to stop lying/cheating. But the main problem is that many people have different definitions for what a slut is. And stating from what I've seen and heard, men and the slut issue is completely separate from women and the slut issue. Ask the typical man(not married/in a relationship) and more often than not, they'd like to get with the slut. Ask the typical woman(not married/in a relationship) and more often than not, they will attempt to degrade and shame the slut.

Now if you get the relationship status and religious statuses into the equation, it becomes a quagmire of horribleness for many people.

Now from my perspective, a slut is a person that has a large amount of sex more than once a week with more than one person (Think of one person screwing two/three different people a week). If he/she was more reserved to say? maybe sex once a week, no I wouldn't view that as slutty behavior. And hey, I literally do have a guy friend that our group calls a slut. Why? Because he has a girlfriend and in his words, he has mistresses. And when we told him that he's a slut for it, he laughed it off and said he was proud. Even if his girlfriend finds out and lops off his genitals, he doesn't care.

It's a multifaceted issue that no one can currently address without emotions flaring, which is ultimately making every side that does try to talk about it seem rather pitiful.

Edit: Spelling and fixed word replacement.
 

Stasisesque

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LordOfInsanity said:
It's a multifaced issue that no one can currently address without emotions flaring, which is ultimately making every side that does try to talk about it seem rather pitiful.
Sorry, it's 'multifaceted'. Multifaced is not a word.

Also, what is an 'unhealthy amount of sex'? As long as those engaged in sexual acts are clean and taking all necessary precautions, what makes it 'unhealthy'?
 

Shadowstar38

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Things are what they are. A person that has tons of sex with random people is a slut. Point blank. If you're just calling someone a slut to be an ass, well that person has a right to be offended.

But if the term is accurate to the person in question, and they get offended, they are having a hard time taking the truth.
 

InsanityRequiem

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Stasisesque said:
LordOfInsanity said:
It's a multifaced issue that no one can currently address without emotions flaring, which is ultimately making every side that does try to talk about it seem rather pitiful.
Sorry, it's 'multifaceted'. Multifaced is not a word.

Also, what is an 'unhealthy amount of sex'? As long as those engaged in sexual acts are clean and taking all necessary precautions, what makes it 'unhealthy'?
Yeah, thanks for correcting me on the word's proper spelling.

When it starts to interfere with your normal life. Nymphomania is the word. Uncontrollable/excessive sexual behavior. Basically when sex is everything you want to do, forget work and family. But while rereading what I wrote, I'd say I used unhealthy wrong when I described what I'd see a slut as. While nymphomania is a mental condition that requires psychological help, using being a slut is a person's choice to enjoy in the sexual desires more often than not. Will need to edit my original post about that.