The strangest thing a teacher ever told you about themselves

snappydog

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Sep 18, 2010
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Hazzard said:
And my maths teacher told my class that nothing he has ever taught in GCSE maths has ever been of any use in life, he then proceeded to tell us that he only went into teaching because he made a bet with someone he would find a job where he would use what he learnt in GCSE maths.
That is beautiful. My maths teacher told us the same thing when asked in GCSE year what possible use any of it could actually have in life.

sky14kemea said:
Why do all the weird teachers do Sex Ed ;_;
My headmaster took my class for sex ed. He was.. must have been about sixty, but looks older; almost entirely grey hair and beard, except a hint of the very bright ginger it used to be; thick glasses that made his eyes look much bigger than they are; a penchant for rather too much physical contact with the female students and the occasional accidental innuendo. This is a man who attempted to teach us about sex, and who pronounced 'come' (which he pronounced normally usually, but changed it in sex ed presumably to distinguish it from the usual sense of the word) 'comm'. Very awkward.
 

Erja_Perttu

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CommanderL said:
One of the relief teacher would always tell epic yarns about why he has a beard and other cool stuff
I had a teacher like that, except he was full time. All you had to do to get out of learning anything that lesson was to get him started on when he was a milkman, anything in the second world war and the criminal damage he did to a post office once. Good times.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

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Jul 15, 2008
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I had a maths teacher once who brought a bow and arrow into class once and wasted half the lesson talking about Battle of Agincourt. Still the best history class I had at that school.
 

Owyn_Merrilin

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One of my math teachers once told us that not only did she believe in aliens (like, grey aliens, the conspiracy theory kind) but that she honestly believed the 2012 thing was going to be them revealing themselves to us and sharing their knowledge. We'll see if she's right in about a month.
 

Tuesday Night Fever

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I had a high school teacher who married a man because he had the same last name as the main character from her favorite book.

Yes. That's the only reason she married him.
 

MakerofMysteries

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Feb 21, 2012
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sky14kemea said:
I remember having the weirdest teacher for Sex Ed... When we were doing the condom class, she warned us not to take any... I think her exact words were "Don't take the flavoured ones, they're my favourite!"

...

*sobs*
I may have got you beat there.

Our Sex Ed teacher literally said to the girls in my class; "Your homework, specifically, ladies, will be to masturbate. I will be severely disappointed with anyone who fails at this task." (Before you ask; our teacher was female.)

As a bloke, I could barely contain my laughter. Hilarious albeit disturbing.
 

Trippy Turtle

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May 10, 2010
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I have a phobia of dentists and my literature teacher told us a story about this dentist. It was not a very pretty story and I ended up fainting.
Every single time I see her now she turns to whoever she was talking to and says 'He fainted in my class when we read this story'. Other than that though she was a pretty cool teacher.
Oh and apparently whenever she reads the story in class she mentions that someone fainted. I found out about that when my friend who was in her class mentioned her explaining the whole dramatic event to the class.
 

Dfskelleton

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While I never had any classes with him, our school had a Chemistry teacher who often revealed... very odd things. He just left this year.

For example, he was talking to his students about his former job. Apparently, he had some line of work (that he didn't care to expand upon) that involved nuclear weapons, and he was fired after causing an "accident", the details of which he didn't bother to expand upon either. Whenever people ask him what happened, he simply changed the subject.

Also, at the beginning of class one day, to no one in particular, he said "There is a huge mess inside my pants." He then began teaching class, and after handing out an assignment and everyone was busy and quiet, he continued with "Seriously, it woud take Hercules to clean these puppies out."

May I mention that the teacher in question had the most hilarious Chemistry teacher voice, consistently fell asleep in class (even while talking), and was almost cartoonish in appearance (his body resembled a filled in "D" shape)

Sadly, he doesn't teach at my school anymore. I had heard that he's working for the government now, but I can't clarify this.
 

The White Hunter

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Oct 19, 2011
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My A-level physics teacher was abandoned as a child and raised by gypsies.

The dude also loved guns, chain smoked like crazy, handled his drink the best of any man I have ever met, made sick jokes, taught us conservation of momentum with RIFLES, taught me how to roll fags, etc.

That man was a legend. Used to make tires for F1 teams too.
 

freakydan

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Jan 28, 2010
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I have two, though I never had either teacher.

In high school, there was a french teacher at my school who was always a bit off. At the end of one particularly hectic day, the teacher told her last class, which I had a few friends in, "If you don't see me tomorrow, you'll know I've fallen off the face of the earth." The students thought nothing of it, until she didn't show up the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. The class had substitute teachers for the rest of the semester, the one remaining french teacher had a larger than usual class the second semester, and they hired a new teacher the next year. Last I heard, no student had any earthly idea what happened to her.

In college, there was a chemistry professor who...well...looked like your stereotypical chemistry nerd. According to a female friend of mine who used to get some extra study help from him, he once told her that he and his wife would roleplay in the bedroom as Darth Vader and Princess Leia. Complete with costumes. She started to tell me something about lightsabers, but I cut her off at that point.
 

mattttherman3

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I had a teacher in grade 8 that litterally sent one of my friends to the office everyday. At first it was deserved, but then not so much. He dropped a pencil and was sent to the office.

In grade 10, a bunch of guys were talking about orally pleasuring a woman, the teacher happened to come up to see what they were talking about at the moment one guy was miming it. He says:"I have no idea how to respond to that" and walks off. Classic

One teacher would always mix his lessons with some story about his life, his best one was that his 4 year old daughter would still ask his wife for milky time, and the mother would allow it if her brothers weren't home lol. He also gave me a dollar for a pop once. Nice guy. He died of colon cancer in grade 11, I went to his funeral.

My favorite teacher though was the woodshop/autoshop teacher. We were making tables as our final project, evidently mine was screwed beyond repair, and I wouldn't listen when he said to restart. So he naturally grabbed it and broke it in half. Now, I was actually bigger than him. I got up and I was so mad, beat red mad. I said:"are you going to make me a new one?" and he did. He was a cool dude with me after that, I would never have actually touched him. Another time, he accidently gave us the wrong final, so he had to give us the answers, everyone got an A. Best class eva.

In college, one teacher had the philosophy of teaching us what he knew, but giving us the easiest tests ever, 30 question True False. One time he even left the room to go to the bathroom and annonced it as such during a mid term. Bonus question on one of his tests: What is Clark Kent's alter ego?
 

Hazzard

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Jan 25, 2012
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When I was in Year 4 at school my teacher told me about how she and her family went to France. She went into a bakery and said
"Je veux une miche de pain."
This means
"I want a loaf of bread" in French. And then everyone in the shop laughed. She then realizes she has not said "I want a loaf of bread" She actually said "I am a loaf of bread" and not whenever she says "I can speak French" her whole family points this experience out to her.
 

R4ptur3

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Feb 21, 2010
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Two things I can remember, both from my awesome geography teacher in sixth form. There not really strange, but stll...

1. He started telling us about how he had such a big shit it went under the bottom of the toilet and so he couldn't see the whole thing. He was so proud of it and it was hilarious. It then began a lengthy conversation about poo.

2. He was once in a bar, and while walking to the front of the bar to get a drink accidentally bumped into a woman with a drink, which spilled. She was drunk and started having a go at him. He was also a bit drunk. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a bucket of ice, picked it up and shouted "***** COOL OFF" and threw the entire bucket of ice onto her head. He then proceeded to get thrown out of the bar cartoon style (two bouncers picked him up and literally threw him out the door onto the pavement)

Dat legend.
 

ZehMadScientist

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Oct 29, 2010
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I had a math teacher who told us about his favorite masturbation technique: "The Stranger".

It was awkward to say the least. He was a brilliant teacher, but that was just very, very awkward.
 

Nekron_X

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Jan 30, 2011
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The one i remember the clearest is my math teacher from 9th grade. it was less strange than it was simply uncomfortable but still...a couple f the kids were talking in the middle of a lesson and she got made and told them to be quiet, which is completely understandable but then all of a sudden went; " my mother would throw me through the wall if i didn't clean the dishes right!" and just walked out of the door and left us sitting there looking at each other awkwardly. i'd say it came form a stressful day but it was the first class of the day and we really have no idea where it came from. she' bring various times she was abused after that in the middle of teaching and in a much more casual manner than that first time.awkward...

The funny one was with my astronomy teacher, who wanted to show us a video from youtube,completely unrelated to class of course(can't remember exactly what it was unfortunately), and allowed us to use proxy servers to get around and didn't report it so those could be blocked.he was an awesome teacher and liked to talk about what games he played that came out recently and the occasional sci-fi conventions he and his wife would go to.
 

Sigmund Av Volsung

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Dec 11, 2009
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Hazzard said:
When I was in Year 4 at school my teacher told me about how she and her family went to France. She went into a bakery and said
"Je veux une miche de pain."
This means
"I want a loaf of bread" in French. And then everyone in the shop laughed. She then realizes she has not said "I want a loaf of bread" She actually said "I am a loaf of bread" and not whenever she says "I can speak French" her whole family points this experience out to her.
It does; I do GCSE level French;
"Je suis"-I am(edit)

Still quite funny nonetheless.

I AM STEVE, KING OF BREAD, LORD OF WHOLEMEAL!
BOW BEFORE MY CARBOHYDRATES!
TASTE THE TOAST OF MY WRATH!
 

Divine Miss Bee

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Feb 16, 2010
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my freshman year of high school, i walked into my first period bio class and met my homeroom teacher. this is the man who was tasked with setting the tone for my entire high school experience.

so he talked about how he was kidnapped by aliens and how they busted him out of the mental institution down the road from the school, and after years of trying to tell others about what happened to him, he just accepted a teaching post at the school so he could tell all the students. he even had printed sources from the local news. basically, our alien overlords want to fix our energy crisis and stop global warming. they're the good guys.

this was the same teacher who sang little songs in every lesson outlining the concepts we were going over in class that day. so needless to say i kept awake in first hour class every day.