The ten commandments of gaming

[Ghengis John]

Thou shalt not readeth of thine manual nor ever openeth thine manual. For it is abhorrent. Thine manual shalt be the ever-living spirit of trial and error. Thou shalt however feel trespassed against when there is no manual, and lament thine hardships at not having readeth the manual freely and with bitter breath for days without end. Thou shalt holdeth of those concepts which be not readily apparent against the developer if he does not include them in tutorials, for I have commanded thee to forsake thine manual before invoking thy game.

Dooooooo this in memoooooooory ooooooof meeeeeeeee.

 

[pandasaw]

Thou shall not have water levels

 

[k0n9]

Thou shalt not artificially pad the length of the game(damn the great sea.)

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Thou shall not fix camera angles to show off scenery rather than what the player is doing.
Thou shall honour thy health kits, and forsake all other forms of regaining health.

 

[AzureRaven]

Thou shalt remember your customers are friends, not enemies.
Thou shalt be allowed to advertise to a degree, but not over-hype.
(As an add-on to the prior one.) Thou shalt market responsibly.
Thou shalt not needlessly add co-op to a game that does not need it.
Thou shalt not clone another game for profit.

There's my contributions.

 

[rc0ll]

Thou shalt allow stealth in, y'know, stealth games
Thou shalt not make the player do things the game clearly wasn't designed around (ala squad based shooters making you play half the levels on your own)
Thou shalt not make unnecessary multiplayer
Thou shalt make multiplayer balanced and fair
Thou shalt not make enemies detect you hiding in a bush five miles away (Far Cry style)
Thou shalt refine the art of the moral choice system

 

[Saltyk]

Thou shall not tempt the player with equipment that they can never get or make gear nearly impossible to get.
(I'm looking at you FFXII and even FFIX)
Thou shall not allow easy stun locks either in PVP or from enemies.
Thou shall not release a buggy game.
Thou shall treat other players with respect.
Thou shall not create terribly unbalanced characters in fighters.

1. Thou shall release all Operation Rainfall games in America.
2. Thou shall not have generic regenerative health in ANY game.
3. Thou shall not make a game repetitive.
4. Thou whom announce a game WILL be dedicated to releasing it.
5. Thou shall not grief.
6. Thou shall not fuck over those who buy second-hand games
7. Thou shall release Mega Man Legends 3 on PS3 and 360.
8. Thou shall release Mega Man Legends 3 on PS3 and 360.
9. Thou shall release Mega Man Legends 3 on PS3 and 360.
10. Thou shall burn in all circles of hell if thou does not release Mega Man Legends 3.

Hmm, was I being a little to straightforward with those last ones?

....

nah.

Nah. You did fine. But I added a little something to those commandments for ya. It's in bold in case it's not perfectly obvious. I say that because I was heart broken for them to release it on the 3DS. I'd much rather see a proper sequel than a handheld. Not sure why Capcom ever thought that was a good idea. And would it kill them to make a new Breath of Fire game?

 

[C95J]

Thou shalt not be a little ***** about everything.

 

[TheTim]

Thou doth not need that many snipers in one area

I'm gonna have to say this is the best thing anyone has said today. Well done

 

[BristolBerserker]

Thou shalt recognise there are more countries in this world than america, china, russia and generic middle eastern country.
Thou shalt read and learn that WW2 started in 1939 not the day of pearl harbour
Thou shalt make it so planes and helicopters in battlefield can be flown without the need of a third arm.
Thou shalt stop with the realism thing

 

[Darklink82]

Thou Shalt respect thine customers
Thou Shalt market responsibly
Thou Shalt never copy gameplay mechanics unless thou art combining them in an interesting and fun way
Thou Shalt add substantial content to sequels
Thou Shalt never have pre-order bonuses
Thou Shalt make DLC worth thine customer's money( No $2.00 chicken suit or dye)
Thou Shalt make multiplayer free without subscription
Thou Shalt never lock away content because the game is used
Thou Shalt never make a movie tie in game
Thou Shalt have fun

 

[Ironsouled]

Thou shall let me destroy mine enemies totally, without them screaming hacks.
Thou shalt not let cake jokes make up half of thy game's easter eggs.

Those are my biggest two.

 

[BabySinclair]

Spoiler: From Penney Arcade

Pretty much sums up the majority of my opinions


Our Past-time, which art on screens, hallowed be thy frames.
Your release dates come, your fragging done
On console as is on PC
Give us this game, our daily fix;
And forgive us our failings,
as we have forgiven our noobs.
And lead us not, into Bitching;
And deliver us from Rage Quits.

Sacrilegious? Yes, still waiting on the lighting bolt.

 

[Muh_Balls]

Thou shall value aesthetics over graphics (example: Team Fortress 2)
Thou shall give the player useful advice durring loading screens (not like 'grenades blow up')
Thou shalt not make a generic, brown fps (give something to look at other than iron sights)

 

[Dr_Feelgood]

Thou doth not need that many snipers in one area

You have played to much TF2 2Fort...haven't you?

Here's mine: Thou shall not have level restrictions on guns. Looking at you Borderlands.

 

[PleasantAsAHeadcrab]

Thou shalt not make the camera an uncooperative son of a motherless goat this points that is always either having some sort of epileptic fit or pointing the wrong way I'M LOOKING AT YOU SILENT HILL 2.

 

[theevilgenius60]

Thou shalt make one Madden(or any sports title) per console generation and sell yearly dlc roster update/texture update if needed/new features
Thou shalt not make a shooter where the pc is made out to be a badass, yet has to spend the whole game in stealth mode or die(I'm looking at you Crysis 2)

 

[Sir Shockwave]

Thou shall complain on gaming boars over minor difficulties and annoyances as if they were major problems.

Generally this, but to rephrase it:

"Thou shalt not Whine."

EDIT - Also, "If Thou should Boycott, Thou shalt stick to it or be forever remembered as a Hypocritical Pansy."

 

[Warachia]

How about this one: Thou Shalt not make a NPC extremely powerful when fighting against you and incredibly weakened when fighting with you (the only difference being they switched sides and not for any other reason).

I'm looking at you Baten Kaitos.

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

Thou shall not give women face smacking jugs
Thou shall not have AI dummer than a wallnut
Thou shall not make angry bald space marines

But above all else

THOU SHALL REMAKE PERSONA 4 FOR PS3

NO I want persona 5 for the PS3 Damnit