The war on Heavy Metal

[Bucht]

I don't know if this true or not bit I found the following article on http://www.dailypaul.com/ and thought it was intersting:

Rick Santorum has been on the offensive lately, but his target has not been Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney or even President Barack Obama. For the past week, Santorum has been using his campaign to take aim at an issue he feels to be the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal. ?If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,? announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

Santorum?s popularity in the polls has grown substantially since he began speaking out against metal and its assault on traditional values. He has spent much of the past week in the Midwest encouraging young people to stay away from metal artists and listen to performers like Michael W. Smith and Pat Boone. In a recent Gallup Poll, 87 percent of Republican voters think that the biggest problem in America today is ?the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music.?

In the past, Santorum has accused heavy metal of being the cause of some of the worst crimes in American history including the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan in 1981, 9/11 and the passage of Obama?s Health Care Bill. He stepped up his rhetoric in a speech on Wednesday when he implied that heavy metal is the cause of many forms of mental illness as well as lactose intolerance.

It?s probably not a coincidence that since he began his crusade against metal that his poll numbers have been surging upwards. Picking out a small and unique group, singling them out as ?other? and using them to frighten the masses is a proud tradition in American politics. However, many commentators believe that his call for metal internment camps goes too far. Santorum has openly advocated the forced re-education of metalheads. They would be forced to endure 30 days of non-stop ?values based? music that promotes the American way of life as well as the free market. In order to leave, they will have to sing the chorus to at least one Celine Dion song.

In response to Santorum?s metal onslaught, Mitt Romney officially denounced his earlier position of ?tolerance towards all fans of extreme music?. This, in spite of the fact that GWAR played his inauguration as governor of Massachusetts back in 2003. But things have changed since 2003 and embracing heavy metal music is about as popular selling baby organs on Ebay or clubbing seals. Romney will need to begin pretending to be something else if he plans on facing Obama in the general election in November.

 

[Nickolai77]

?If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,? announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

The amount of stupidity in this sentence is actually mentally painful to read, i don't know if i should invoke poe's law, call troll or vomit in the bathroom.

 

[Esotera]

This is fake right? No sane politician would ever support internment camps to reeducate anyone, let alone metalheads.

 

[Fat Hippo]

War on Heavy Metal, huh. He's a bit behind the curve, isn't he? Oh well, at least you can always trust the far right to be dumb as a bag of rocks. Unfortunately, they also vote.

 

[smithy_2045]

As dumb as US politicians are, this has to be a parody of some other issue.

 

[Kvaedi]

I thought this whole thing ended in the 80's. And I'm laughing right now at the Iron Maiden being labeled satanist. Aye, the band that sings the line '...We must love all things that god made' Worst church burners ever, that bunch, I hear they eat babies too. And Black Sabbath! What horrible heathens they are! You know, singing those ancient devilries like "God Rest Ye Weary Gentlemen." Just despicable!

At least he get one right, Venom, but their lyrics are just for shits 'n giggles anyway. Why don't they ever go for Deicide or some black metal band for a change?

 

[DarkishFriend]

?If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,? announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

The amount of stupidity in this sentence is actually mentally painful to read, i don't know if i should invoke poe's law, call troll or vomit in the bathroom.

I noticed this too, the second I read this article when I saw it posted on Facebook. My first conclusion was....trollin.


Seriously, new...Black Sabbath. There first album was 1970!

 

[repeating integers]

Glad this is satire, because I didn't think even Rick Santorum could be quite that stupid.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I half wish this was real. as they say, for teh lulz. Because sane people don't need any more reasons to think Rick Santorum is an arse.

 

[Shock and Awe]

Took me a bit to figure out this wasn't true, decent satire though. Its really something he would say.

 

[JesterRaiin]

sane politician

I'm sorry, what ??? Isn't that a perfect example of oxymoron ?

 

[Kvaedi]

Took me a bit to figure out this wasn't true, decent satire though. Its really something he would say.

Eh, having gone to a Baptist church for half my life I bought it. I've heard these exact words bubbling out of their frothing mouths on more than one occasion.

 

[beefprophet]

Yeah, for a second there I thought Santorum really said that. He's said worse things before...

Anyways, the far right should focus on a music genre far more devious (and terrible) - ska music.

 

[xXAsherahXx]

"If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden"

I hope I interpreted this wrong, but he didn't just call all these bands NEW did he? Also, "The" Wasp? Really? How about W.A.S.P you White Ass Shit-faced Politician!?!

Are we really going back to the 80's when Tipper Gore embarrassed herself with her astounding ignorance. Do we really need to call up Frank Zappa from his grave and have him and Dee Snider testify again? I mean what the fuck man? Haven't metal artists and fans alike disproven that these artists actually believe in this imagery?

I seriously hate this election so much because whoever gets nominated to run against Obama, we all lose. Whether it's Romney changing positions, Santorum being a giant bigot, or Gingrich tripping out on acid with his moon-base, we are doomed if Obama doesn't win. I'm not a hard-line Democrat, but I know how to pick a lesser evil.

Sorry for the hate mongering but I can't even blow it off like the rest of you have as a stupid comment because people are listening to these bastards.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Someone please tell me this guy just made this up. Are people really this dumb?

 

[Realitycrash]

Uh, isn't he about 20 years too late? I thought all these moral guardians quit the game after Gansta' Rap came along.

Edit: And oh, obviously fake, now that I read it. No political, no matter how crazy, would try to up his popularity by calling for any people, of any sort, to be put in camps.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I'm calling Poe's law here. Thinking that heavy metal caused 9/11? Er..yeah, I'm sure Al Qaida are very big fans of Judas Priest.