The war on Heavy Metal

[Lunar Templar]

lol

i got like 2 sentences in and knew it was BS

"If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden

how nice of them to use bands whom who's popularity has LONG since peaked and faded away

 

[lacktheknack]

"If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people," announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

Seriously, there's no possible way this just happened.

 

[Naeras]

I'm calling Poe's law here. Thinking that heavy metal caused 9/11? Er..yeah, I'm sure Al Qaida are very big fans of Judas Priest.

No they weren't. As we all know, Al Qaida listened exclusively to Pantera. Which explains why they were so...


(wait for it)
(wait for iiiiiiit)

..fuckin' hostile.

 

[somonels]

How many non-retarded musical styles have died in the last five decades? I don't imagine it's many.

 

[Gmans uncle]

wow there are people on this thread who thought this was real... people really don't understand satire anymore...

 

[Nickolai77]

Being non-American, what is a "10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop"??

 

[DJDarque]

Good thing this is fake, or my head might have exploded from the stupid.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I'm calling Poe's law here. Thinking that heavy metal caused 9/11? Er..yeah, I'm sure Al Qaida are very big fans of Judas Priest.

No they weren't. As we all know, Al Qaida listened exclusively to Pantera. Which explains why they were so...


(wait for it)
(wait for iiiiiiit)

..fuckin' hostile.

YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Arbitrary filler text to pad my post here so the mods don't give me more warnings.

 

[Nathan Crumpler]

He wants us to listen to some wholesome Pat Boone? If he says so...

 

[Gasaraki]

many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden
n the past, Santorum has accused heavy metal of being the cause of some of the worst crimes in American history including the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan in 1981, 9/11 and the passage of Obama's Health Care Bill.
okay yeah, no. I refuse to believe that this is an actual thing.

 

[Suicidejim]

Yeah, this one's a fake, although I wouldn't be surprised if that's the sort of thing that Santorum actually thinks. God help America if that man gets elected.

 

[corysagataw]

Rick Santorum tried to kill The Metal...

HE FAILED, as his Popularity FELL, To The Ground.

Edit: Not voting Republican anytime soon.

 

[El Luck]

?If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,? announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

The amount of stupidity in this sentence is actually mentally painful to read, i don't know if i should invoke poe's law, call troll or vomit in the bathroom.

Its satire/a joke. And you didnt realize.

Sir i love you for that, solely so i don't really have to type more as i am shitfaced.

 

[jakko12345]

The amount of stupid in american politics is approaching a singularity, i fear. My mind can barely comprehend the statement "heavy metal caused 9/11".

That's enough internet for today.

 

[vrbtny]

Glad this is satire, because I didn't think even Rick Santorum could be quite that stupid.

Wait....are you being Ironic about irony, or satirizing satire, or being ironic about satire?..... Ouch, I made my mind hurt.

 

[Something Amyss]

The amount of stupidity in this sentence is actually mentally painful to read, i don't know if i should invoke poe's law, call troll or vomit in the bathroom.

Considering a Republican recently posted an Onion article via facebook, it Poe's law is pretty accurate. It's hard to tell someone legitimately out of it from someone taking the piss.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0212/72507.html

 

[Endocrom]

Mr. Frothy Mixture, you and I are mortal, but rock and roll will never die!
wait, what?

 

[FalloutJack]

This is fake right? No sane politician would ever support internment camps to reeducate anyone, let alone metalheads.

Hi there. I come from Pittsburgh and we know alot about Rick Santorum. He's retarded. No really! Half of him is being a shifty and untrustworthy prick and the other is that he's a complete and utter moron.

 

[Tsaba]

wow there are people on this thread who thought this was real... people really don't understand satire anymore...

It's the Escapist, a lot of people will just post to show their dislike for a certain political party that isn't theirs instead of actually looking at the source material.

The whole "87 percent of Republican voters think that the biggest problem in America today is "the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music."" made me laugh though.

 

[Macgyvercas]

?If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,? announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

The amount of stupidity in this sentence is actually mentally painful to read, i don't know if i should invoke poe's law, call troll or vomit in the bathroom.

I say we do all three at the same time. And then go buy some metal. I bought a Poison album today. Good stuff.