Mine would be, "quit being vague in your posts." I have a lot of facebook friends who reference things that I have no idea of.
Things you WANTED to tell people on Facebook, but didn't
- Thread starter Lilani
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Theres this girl on my facebook who keeps posting pictures about relationships, one today read "I want to be the girl you brag about to your friends, the girl you love unconditionally"
my responce to this image should have been,
"so you want to get a job as A pornstar hey, that'l make your boyfriend brag."
my responce to this image should have been,
"so you want to get a job as A pornstar hey, that'l make your boyfriend brag."
The latest fued between two friends of mine ended with the female improperly reading part of the male's most recent comment and calling him a racist for the other part. She deleted him from her facebook, so he couldn't respond.
After reading through it at the prompting of another friend, she misread a sentence, believing he said the opposite of what he actually said and calling him out on his "hypocrisy"; and after pointing out the "racist" comment to the friend who linked me the conversation, he says it wasn't. While the word was used in a somewhat disparaging way, she claimed the word itself was racist, while a quick wiki search reveals the word is an honorific used for pilgrims of a certain religion.
Me, being the gutless coward I am, didn't say anything for fear of backlash, because said female's father is my soccer coach and I usually see her on a weekly basis.
And yes, I was trying to be a vague of possible. I'd rather not stir anything up.
After reading through it at the prompting of another friend, she misread a sentence, believing he said the opposite of what he actually said and calling him out on his "hypocrisy"; and after pointing out the "racist" comment to the friend who linked me the conversation, he says it wasn't. While the word was used in a somewhat disparaging way, she claimed the word itself was racist, while a quick wiki search reveals the word is an honorific used for pilgrims of a certain religion.
Me, being the gutless coward I am, didn't say anything for fear of backlash, because said female's father is my soccer coach and I usually see her on a weekly basis.
And yes, I was trying to be a vague of possible. I'd rather not stir anything up.
"Shut the fuck up about your goddamned horse I don't give a flying shit that it's a nicer brown than yesterday it is a fucking brown horse."
Seriously, half my newsfeed is horses.
Do you know something interesting about horses? Nothing. There is NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT HORSES! The can run, jump and shit and that's fucking it.
Seriously, half my newsfeed is horses.
Do you know something interesting about horses? Nothing. There is NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT HORSES! The can run, jump and shit and that's fucking it.
I almost always call people on their bullshit. I'm 17 so my news feed is invariably filled with angst every damn day and it's pretty fun to stir the pot.
This one guy in particular though can't go a day without posting some angsty crap about how the girl he's "in love with" doesn't love him back. It was the standard friendzone crap and I see enough of it on the internet so I was willing to let it go. But one day he posts some stuff about how everyone in the world is too shallow, and that if they'd look at him a little deeper they'd like what they see. He was obviously referring to this girl not liking him.
10 minutes later he posts "like for a rate and date." So yeah, I gave him a tongue lashing for that one.
Another highlight was when this girl asked "I will never understand why bad things happen to good people" and I posted a link to a Wikipedia page on probability.
I generally avoid taking the piss out of pop culture stuff seeing as I almost exclusively use FB for circlejerking over a new movie/show that interests me, but if someone does post something just to try to be deep I will respond with something to the extent of "my soul hurts."
You know what the weird thing is though? I'm just a big a dick in real life and these people still like me and invite me out places.
This one guy in particular though can't go a day without posting some angsty crap about how the girl he's "in love with" doesn't love him back. It was the standard friendzone crap and I see enough of it on the internet so I was willing to let it go. But one day he posts some stuff about how everyone in the world is too shallow, and that if they'd look at him a little deeper they'd like what they see. He was obviously referring to this girl not liking him.
10 minutes later he posts "like for a rate and date." So yeah, I gave him a tongue lashing for that one.
Another highlight was when this girl asked "I will never understand why bad things happen to good people" and I posted a link to a Wikipedia page on probability.
I generally avoid taking the piss out of pop culture stuff seeing as I almost exclusively use FB for circlejerking over a new movie/show that interests me, but if someone does post something just to try to be deep I will respond with something to the extent of "my soul hurts."
You know what the weird thing is though? I'm just a big a dick in real life and these people still like me and invite me out places.
My cousin Terisa...or...shit, I don't remember her name...her dad's side of the family is kind of separating themselves from me for whatever reason. Anyway, I would love to tell her "You're 12 years old sweetheart. I know you've been taken to church/Sunday school for as long as you can remember but please keep it to yourself sweetheart, ok? It's why I un-friended you."
Also my Uncle Kevin...Kevin...you're a puss. Please stop posting such creepily militant anti-government sentiments when you'd wet yourself Dale Gribble style if there was even a hint that they were tired of you talking out of your ass.
I'm also morbidly curious to talk to an ex-GF...I haven't talked to her in a few years and yet she's a facebook friend. I am curious to see how she's doing is all.
Also my Uncle Kevin...Kevin...you're a puss. Please stop posting such creepily militant anti-government sentiments when you'd wet yourself Dale Gribble style if there was even a hint that they were tired of you talking out of your ass.
I'm also morbidly curious to talk to an ex-GF...I haven't talked to her in a few years and yet she's a facebook friend. I am curious to see how she's doing is all.
This. Also to tell all my friends who post "meaningful quotes to live by" to shut the fuck up. They try to be "deep" or whatever, but they come of as pretentious twats who have no idea what they're on about. Though I keep good relations instead of saying all that.Psykoma said:
God, plenty. There's one of my friends who keeps complaining that people don't like him, and keeps doing statuses where people have to "comment if u like me" or worse, ones where he asks people who are attracted to him to inbox him a heart. It just strikes me as woefully pathetic, but I still feel sorry for him enough to not delete him.
Then there's annoying facebook couples. "Hey, we're a couple, we're gonna fill your news feed with our cheesy, schmaltzy, sh**". Never mind that one of them has an ex who posts all those annoying hipster photos, and is completely, and utterly not over it. Most of them are in my uni group, so deleting them would be shooting myself in the foot professionally.
What would I say to them? Probably just a simple "I don't care."
Oh, and my one and only ex who sends me friend requests on facebook? Let's just forget the fact that I unfriended her, and that should send a clear enough message, and look at what she did. She broke up with me, and only two weeks later invited me out only to be a third wheel to her new boyfriend. If she doesn't know that she's been a *****, then she's too stupid for me to tolerate anyway.
Then there's annoying facebook couples. "Hey, we're a couple, we're gonna fill your news feed with our cheesy, schmaltzy, sh**". Never mind that one of them has an ex who posts all those annoying hipster photos, and is completely, and utterly not over it. Most of them are in my uni group, so deleting them would be shooting myself in the foot professionally.
What would I say to them? Probably just a simple "I don't care."
Oh, and my one and only ex who sends me friend requests on facebook? Let's just forget the fact that I unfriended her, and that should send a clear enough message, and look at what she did. She broke up with me, and only two weeks later invited me out only to be a third wheel to her new boyfriend. If she doesn't know that she's been a *****, then she's too stupid for me to tolerate anyway.
I saw some friend and his other friends (who I didn't know)actually being excited, get ready, excited ... that Big Brother was coming back on television.
I SHIT YOU NOT. BIG BROTHER. AND THEY WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
I wanted to say 'I would rather sit down and watch my own mother lactate for half an hour than that blood-speckled pile of complete SHIT' but I didn't.
In retrospect, if I was going to say something, it should've been something more thoughtful and personal. Like, 'Go throw yourselves into a ravine'.
I SHIT YOU NOT. BIG BROTHER. AND THEY WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
I wanted to say 'I would rather sit down and watch my own mother lactate for half an hour than that blood-speckled pile of complete SHIT' but I didn't.
In retrospect, if I was going to say something, it should've been something more thoughtful and personal. Like, 'Go throw yourselves into a ravine'.
One thing that gets on my tits are - such and suchy person died of x, I'm always thinking of them. Please copy and paste this to [pretend] you care about x charity.
Well, for the love of God, if you REALLY cared for a charity, or for some belief, you'd give money to them or do something about the issue, rather than write stupid facebook comments about it
Well, for the love of God, if you REALLY cared for a charity, or for some belief, you'd give money to them or do something about the issue, rather than write stupid facebook comments about it
I don't have Facebook. Never have and never will. My brother has it, though, and some of my friends are his friends on FB. However, there comes that moment where someone posts something idiotic, whiny or just plain retarded and it brings out that evil side of me. And it always wants to go on his account and type to the offendee:
"Go fuck yourself, and if the universe is kind may that be the ONLY thing that fucks you."
So far...I haven't gathered up the nerve to do that. Mainly because the universe hasn't been kind.
"Go fuck yourself, and if the universe is kind may that be the ONLY thing that fucks you."
So far...I haven't gathered up the nerve to do that. Mainly because the universe hasn't been kind.
Well, I have this one friend. He's 13 and goes through girlfriends like they're disposable napkins (okay, I'm not very good at metaphors). Anyway, he always posts stuff like, "I'm so in love with her" and then dumps them and then has a little cry about it, then a day latter he has a new girlfriend and the cycle continues. I feel like posting something like, "dude, you're 13, get over it".
Also, there is this one girl who is always putting up her "insightful" statuses like she's quoting fucking Ghandi, not that she'd know who that is anyway. Anyway, I feel like saying "The bullshit is strong with this one".
And finally, the sexist ones like "all guys are assholes" or "all girls are stuck up bitches" that are said all throughout my newsfeed. I always feel like posting "So, you must be pretty well travelled to have met the 3.5 billion members of the opposite gender".
Also, there is this one girl who is always putting up her "insightful" statuses like she's quoting fucking Ghandi, not that she'd know who that is anyway. Anyway, I feel like saying "The bullshit is strong with this one".
And finally, the sexist ones like "all guys are assholes" or "all girls are stuck up bitches" that are said all throughout my newsfeed. I always feel like posting "So, you must be pretty well travelled to have met the 3.5 billion members of the opposite gender".
The worst ones are people who constantly share atheism superiority pics, or people who update so regularly that it becomes twitter. Or people who share a link that was seen about three days earlier somewhere else - I know the last one is entirely unreasonable but it gets on my nerves and happens at least once every week.
Ahem. Gentlemen.
The people from my school (Mainly the 13 year olds) are some of the most facepalm'ish people ever.
Example "OMG I GOT A CCOLD ON ESXAM DAY?! WAT CUOLD BE WORS?!"
My comment (Which i deleted afterwards) "Spelling "exam" wrong?"
Also, over opinionated 13 year old, posts EVERY OTHER HOUR and is convinced that all the beautiful girls in all years are here friends once said "uuurgh, i'm waiting for just one guy to prove he's different...Everyone wants me for my body!"
May i remind you that she's 13, and really quite unattractive.
ooh, that was good to get off my chest.
OH YEAH. This is the same girl who told me to "Fuck off back to germany" when i commented on my (Best friends) status. The reason she said that? Because in her mind, their is no way a geeky unattractive bloke like me could be friends with a stunning popular girl.
Now that was good say.
The people from my school (Mainly the 13 year olds) are some of the most facepalm'ish people ever.
Example "OMG I GOT A CCOLD ON ESXAM DAY?! WAT CUOLD BE WORS?!"
My comment (Which i deleted afterwards) "Spelling "exam" wrong?"
Also, over opinionated 13 year old, posts EVERY OTHER HOUR and is convinced that all the beautiful girls in all years are here friends once said "uuurgh, i'm waiting for just one guy to prove he's different...Everyone wants me for my body!"
May i remind you that she's 13, and really quite unattractive.
ooh, that was good to get off my chest.
OH YEAH. This is the same girl who told me to "Fuck off back to germany" when i commented on my (Best friends) status. The reason she said that? Because in her mind, their is no way a geeky unattractive bloke like me could be friends with a stunning popular girl.
Now that was good say.
Dumb *****: "like if U wish U cud go w/ peter pan and never grow up"
Me, in an alternate universe where i hit "enter": "Congratulations, you've won the "dumbest status i've seen all goddamn week" award"
Friend to his girlfriend: "I love you sooo much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <3"
Me: "We know." (i actually did post this once, it was fun)
Another friend's girlfriend posts an image saying "the only way you should hurt a girl is from hugging her too hard"
Me: "Who makes this fucking shit?"
Me, in an alternate universe where i hit "enter": "Congratulations, you've won the "dumbest status i've seen all goddamn week" award"
Friend to his girlfriend: "I love you sooo much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <3"
Me: "We know." (i actually did post this once, it was fun)
Another friend's girlfriend posts an image saying "the only way you should hurt a girl is from hugging her too hard"
Me: "Who makes this fucking shit?"
Oh god. This. Just. This.TrilbyWill said:
I know a girl, quite a nice one, who has around 340 pictures of horses, and 12 of her.
They make me want to hurt myself with a rake.
Haha. That's how I rationalise it. They're so pathetic they provide me with hours of entertainment, it's like a cyber version of The Jeremy Kyle show.Lilani said:
OT: There's one young girl, she's the daughter of one of my mums close friends. She's about 15/16 and has a baby.
EVERY status is a passive aggressive attack on someone different who 'started on her' or insulted her or tried arguing with her. Then she goes on to say how she's not gonna waste any time on them!
I remember before she gave birth someone asked how old she was, because she thought she was her daughters age. Wasn't attacking her or anything, just enquiring. She replied "Yeah, I'm proud to be a young mum thanks!!" There was no reason to be that defensive.
I just wanna tell her to shut the fuck up, grow up and focus on her daughter (who by looks of it, she just uses as a fashion accessory) instead of pathetically posting crap on Facebook.
I just don't want all her illiterate 16 year old hardcore buddies sending me abuse for daring to put her in her place.
Also she'll probably cry to her mum who will tell my mum who will have a go at me. XD
I think I've deleted her now... it stops being funny after a while.
I always thought that show had the potential to be good if they find the right personality. Just find someone who acts like Abed from Community, actively trying to entangle the group in classic sitcom scenarios, and it could be amazing. For an example, here's an idea off the top of my head:Lonely Packager said:
If I remember correctly that show has one housemate do the shopping for a week right? Well the sitcom-obsessed character could blow half the budget on Aloe Vera oil and spend an episode making sexual noises in the bathroom. Then during the inevitable two dickheads flirting when the lights are out he could make masturbation noises.
I COULD TRIPLE THAT SHOW'S RATINGS IF I WENT ON THERE, DAMMIT!
I have a "friend" on Facebook (She's at my school, she just randomly added me) that post "Like this if you _____" pretty much all the time. I don't really care about that, but one day, she posted this. "Like this and i rate how beautiful you are at a scale from 1 to 10". Everybody who liked it got rated from how well she knew 'em, gave high scores to the ones she liked and just gave terrible scores to the ones she didn't like, I found that out later on.
That made me so outrageously mad, i was close to just write how terrible and wrong that was, but since i didn't really knew her that much, would that just be really strange to say it to her.
That made me so outrageously mad, i was close to just write how terrible and wrong that was, but since i didn't really knew her that much, would that just be really strange to say it to her.