Things you WANTED to tell people on Facebook, but didn't

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Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
3,676
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It took me a very long time to realise you were the same girl I went to school with, because so much of you has changed. Mainly your boobs and your nose and your hair colour and I never remembered you being orange before.
And the first update of yours I got on my wall was about how you had shit yourself in a carpark `again`.
 

danodanz

New member
Dec 27, 2010
61
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Male desperation as a whole bugs me on Facebook.

I can come up with an in my opinion, brilliant post. Y'know, thought provoking, tongue in cheek, funny. (Shut up, I'm going somewhere with this). And I'll get one like.


A girl will just post something like "Teehee i luv fake tan"

And it'll get 50 gazillion likes and a bunch of losers commenting the most mundane things to try and relate. One person honest to god commented "Fake is like cake!"


What the hell does that even mean? Am I just getting old? -Shakes cane-
 

Creator002

New member
Aug 30, 2010
1,589
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I usually speak my mind on Facebook, especially if it's a racist or prejudiced post because that just makes me fucking enraged. However, I remember a friend of a friend was posting about how she was going out with guy after guy and how everyone wants her and so on. This girl was ten. TEN YEARS OLD! I didn't say anything, but that was the day I decided periodic friend list clean-ups are required.

Extra/Rant:
Going back to racism, apparently sticking up for Muslims in Australia is frowned upon heavily by every non-Muslim. A person I met last year was, this year, posting something about how Muslim women are submissive to their abusive husbands and worship a pedophile names Mohammad and so on. No idea what happened to spark such a ridiculous (and factually poor) rant, but when I tried telling her how judging everyone by one experience and giving her proper information on Islam, I was slammed by her and every non-Muslim friend she had.
That required another friend list clean-up.
 

Broady Brio

New member
Jun 28, 2009
2,783
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*Posts picture of either Government-related posters, "E-cards" or feminist statements.

My response should be:
"If you're really concerned about [said subject], don't just post shit. Fucking do something about it that will actually impact that cause."
 

Lunatic High

New member
Apr 14, 2012
228
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well there are alot of people who I feel need to use facebook ALOT less but its the invites to shitty games that get one my nerves especially when you get more than 10 I used to check my facebook and see like 23 notifacations all of which were for games designed to squeeze yet more personal information from users or whatever so I just started deleting people from my friends list when for 133 to 81 in like 3 weeks.

As for comments its the ones who belch their personal problems for sympathetic placations from anyone and everyone including strangers in some case. Someone would type out their issue or whatever and I type LOL just to piss them off.
 

ChildishLegacy

New member
Apr 16, 2010
974
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Sexy Devil said:
I'm 17 so my news feed is invariably filled with angst every damn day and it's pretty fun to stir the pot.
This is why I actually deleted my Facebook account, I'm 17 too, and all anybody could seem to post is relationship drama, ***** and moan, argue with people and talk about how friday/saturday's party was "FUCKING BEAST".

It just depressed me to no end knowing that's what a lot of my generation in my area felt like talking about, so I just gave up using that site.
 

EternalFacepalm

Senior Member
Feb 1, 2011
808
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21
CODE-D said:
"I can't believe I still find myself, trying to let go....

It's over I know, but the memories still remain."


"is it so bad, that I ask questions?, that I'm curious?, that I don't wanna be made a fool, or be hurt..

one day, you'll understand"

.....just....fuck you....
Oh, those people are hilarious. I had three of those until I deleted my Facebook account (best decision of my life so far).

I also have one guy on my Skype list that literally filled my Skype home page with his "deep poems" about relationship issues and depression, because he was so emo and emo is cool.
[sub]ಠ_ಠ[/sub]
 

Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
Legacy
Dec 1, 2011
16,509
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Eddie the head said:
"I don't know how I am posting, because I don't have a facebook." In the end I didn't say it because I don't have a facebook.
Same here. Although I'd probably say something like "I have a Facebook account. Are you happy now?" because I've sworn to never use Facebook or Twitter unless unless it becomes absolutely necessary.
 

Longstreet

New member
Jun 16, 2012
705
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The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is a status that sais "share this to help him over come cancer" or anything in that direction.

YES liking a post on FACEBOOK cures cancer people.

EDIT: something that just came to mind. Some woman posted some stupid picture which basically said you shouldn't single out handicapped people and they just want to be accepted and treated like anyone else.

Had to restrain myself from saying you DO know that by posting a picture like this you ARE singling them out and treating them special right?
 

Darren716

New member
Jul 7, 2011
784
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I stopped checking my facebook regularly about two years ago because about 75% of all posts were about god damn Farmville. I don't care if your virtual crops need watering or if you need 50 bags of virtual cow shit. Also everytime I see people posting random song lyrics to try in convey how much their life sucks I want to say "Wow your life must be pretty horrible if you can't even think of somthing original to describe it."
 

anthony87

New member
Aug 13, 2009
3,727
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Colour-Scientist said:
I just generally block people who post to much from my wall, the ones who feel the need to update their status every time they take a shit.
Yeah...I've got a few friends like that aside from the aforementioned "inspirational" image friend.. Oddly enough the worst offenders all live together. There's the one who checks into every single god damn place she goes and put all of her twitter onto her facebook. She got blocked.

Then there's the guy who does vlogs. Oddly he's only started doing them the past year or so as though he'd just discovered them and he posts in about 6 seperate pages whenever he's uploaded a new video that nobody would care about if he didn't tell them. For some reason all 6 of these updates appear on my wall. He got blocked.

And then there's the one to takes photos of......everything, which then goes to facebook through instagram. I mean everything. Breakfast? Gotta take a photo of it and put it on facebook! Lunch? Gotta take a photo of it and put it on facebook! Dinner? Gotta take a photo of it and put it on facebook! Having a beer? You'd better photograph that beer boy!!!

What's most annoying is that I genuinely like these people but I have to fight the urge to just scream "NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!!!! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! but then somehow I'd look like the asshole. Crazy eh?
 

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
6,145
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Lilani said:
First my uncle, who as soon as he got a Facebook account became more political and more religious than I ever saw him behave in real-life. He shares all sorts of snarky pictures from political groups, and on Sundays he posts all sorts of YouTube videos of old gospel and religious bands (as opposed to actually getting up and going to church, which he stopped attending years ago). But a couple of weeks ago he shared a picture which really burned me up. It was a bumper sticker which read "The government is not your baby's daddy." To top it off, the group he shared it from was called "Silence is consent." Who the fuck even joins a group like that? I wanted so bad to reply with, "No it's not, but it sure is interested in what we do with our reproductive systems." But, I figured waging war on my dad's brother would not in any way end well, so I refrained.
Yeah... crazy FB uncles are the worst. I come from a family of hunters, and my uncle keeps posting pictures of his kills.

I wish I were joking.

Other than that, someone posted a status that basically said "to all those saying soldiers should get footballer's wages, you shouldn't want to make war so financially viable."

Beside all the people pointing out that since the dawn of time, war has always been a big money free for all, I pointed out that when people say that, it's meant in the way that they deserve that money for putting their lives on the line for us, as opposed to a bunch of man children playing a game for a living.

I got this reply from some girl, basically saying "defending, or killing innocent people?"

This did, in fact trigger an argument, and it basically boiled down to her saying anyone who ever killed was just stupid. Personally, I'm training to join the Royal Marines, and I just wanted to say "you know what? Get the fuck off your pedestal, you high and mighty self righteous little c**t. You've never been in any situation where you might need to make the decision whether to kill someone. You're just passing out pseudo-philosophical pretentious generalization as fucking gospel. How dare you pass off the act of killing in any circumstance in black and white, just to put yourself above any soldier or war hero who ever had to kill?"

But I didn't, because you know how the pseudo-philosophical kiddies rally to each other's ill thought out points on Facebook, and I'd never hear the bloody end of it.
 

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
6,145
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Malty Milk Whistle said:
TrilbyWill said:
"Shut the fuck up about your goddamned horse I don't give a flying shit that it's a nicer brown than yesterday it is a fucking brown horse."
Seriously, half my newsfeed is horses.
Do you know something interesting about horses? Nothing. There is NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT HORSES! The can run, jump and shit and that's fucking it.
Oh god. This. Just. This.

I know a girl, quite a nice one, who has around 340 pictures of horses, and 12 of her.

They make me want to hurt myself with a rake.
I feel inclined to ask...

Did you make a joke about being unable to tell the difference? Please, I really hope you did...
 

MammothBlade

It's not that I LIKE you b-baka!
Oct 12, 2011
5,242
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How I hated every single one of them and their inane bullshit before I quit Facebook.
 

Frankster

Space Ace
Mar 13, 2009
2,507
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I know I should be thinking of some good ones but right now all I can think off is countless posts and pics on being "friendzoned" or stuff about how nice guys finish last.

By people whom I'd hardly qualify as "nice", rather too passive to say anything bad to someone's face (so only speaks behind the back) and who can't befriend a woman without a long term plan in their head and then are the first to complain about how much of a dick the new boyfriend is simply because they got beaten to the punch.

Oh wait I got a good one!!!!

It was this girl i knew a while back, never really became good friends (my friend had the hots for her so i was the wingman for him with this girl) but added each other on facebook, and it turns out this girl is rather wealthy and from a posh family.
The Queen's silver jubilee rolls by (this is in uk btw) and she goes on facebook all excited about how she was going to meet the queen and be one of those who will be standing at her procession and be on tv, etc

Then she posts on facebook the next day that her train was cancelled because some "selfish prick" jumped in front of the train and committed suicide.
What followed was a procession of fortunate and well off peeps, a courtesy facebook search showing impressive displays of wealth was common with these lot, as was education in top universities, all chiming in and ranting about the selfishness of people suiciding and how they are all weak individuals, and the always classic "lol nice of them to save the genepool from their idiocy" and other proclamations of modern darwinism (never mind that people often misrepresent his views big time, he said the one who survives is the one who adapts best to its environment, not "the strongest one").

As someone who works in a mental health clinic it irked me big time to see those people blessed with good fortune and health and from impressive backgrounds, showing such little compassion for those not as fortunate as them.
 

Robert Ewing

New member
Mar 2, 2011
1,976
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To girls who constantly friendzone boys, and ignore all the best boys, cheats on her boyfriends, and treats them like shit, and then tells the world that she hates being single and doesn't want to die alone.

I want to tell them to hang themselves.
 

gusenborge

New member
Nov 6, 2011
44
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Girl who is a shade of brown who is in a racist party against immigrants and support them wholly.

Though i did got stuck in a argument with her which i proceded to have a edge in until +8 other random party members joined the fray and claimed because of my age (18 at the time) didnt know anything, even though i had articles to support my claims.

I got mad as hell.
 

Patrick Buck

New member
Nov 14, 2011
747
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One of my friends posted, "You shouldn't hit a woman, after all, you came out of one."
And LOADS of people like it. He means well, but you shouldn't hit ANYONE, Male or Female, except in self defense.
 

shadyh8er

New member
Apr 28, 2010
1,778
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CrazyCapnMorgan said:
"Go fuck yourself, and if the universe is kind may that be the ONLY thing that fucks you."
I'm stealing this!

OT: One of my brother's friends is a Class A weeaboo. He has flat out stated that Japan is better than America in literally everything. Like how people look, the food, government, etc.

As for something I wanted to say but didn't, that same guy wished that the entire human race should be wiped out (dear god, I wish I was making this up). My response that never came to be would have been "Good idea! You should go first!"
 

StoopidMonkey79

New member
Dec 3, 2011
11
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There was this girl and she would post pictures and statuses every single day of her and her boyfriend. It took every ounce of my willpower not to write something like "Seriously, you two are so annoying you post statuses and pictures everyday. It's not cute and everyone wants you two to break up" but in not so kind words. Thank god i didn't because they broke up the day after