This one's for the girls.

[yusukethehedgehog]

Also not a girl but I would like to reply to two topics brought up in this thread:

1.) The term "Girl Gamer" and people against it
Why be against the term? It just distinguishes the fact that said gamer is female. Just as I am a guy gamer, the OP is a girl gamer. The problem, however, comes in it's usage. A girl gamer shouldn't refer to herself as such, but simply as a gamer (just as I would). The terms only practical use (in my opinion of course)is when referring to the specific subset of gamers. I would put it in the same category as "black gamers," Asian gamers," etc.

2.) Regarding "girl gamers"
Girl gamers shouldn't be ashamed of being gamers. It's a part of who they are. Just like I shouldn't be ashamed of being a black gamer, anime fan, metal music fan, etc. As for why some girls avoid girl gamers, these are probably the same girls who ridicule guy gamers, but if not then they're stuck seeing stereotypes. The stereotypical gamer (according to society (mostly outdated, but still as perceived by some)) is an obese nerdy white male with glasses living with his mother eating Cheetos all day and drinking Mountain Dew or a guy with the mental capacity of a rock. We have to get non-gamer girls (or, more appropriately, non-gamers in general) to see past those stereotypes.

 

[RedMagic]

The assumption that games are meant for guys only is just one of many stereotypes floating around in society. A real friend shouldn't look at you with shame just because you're a gamer. It's a hobby (like reading books and watching movies) that a lot of people are into.

You shouldn't be ashamed of being a female gamer. In fact, if enough people go against the grain and challenge the stereotypes of men and women, then we can change (even if it may be slow) people's perception of what it means to be a gamer.

 

[headphonegirl]

Its the roles that society pushes onto people, guys are meant to be the gamers the football players and the DJ's, and girls are meant to like pink, make up and talking about boys ( ues i'm going a little over the top, but you get my point). Gamers can be anyone, be they male , female or whatever else. Enjoy what you do, screw people who think its wrong.



BTW i'm a girl.

 

[Artina89]

I don't know why you felt ashamed, gaming has become an almost universal thing, if those Nintendo commercials are to be believed, but I have been gaming since I was 3, when my dad brought home a SNES. My parents never enforced the whole "boys do this and girls do that", they wanted me to do stuff that made me happy. So if anybody looks down on me when I play on the PSP or my Nintendo DS then I ignore them. People like that are not really worth bothering with in my book.

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

They assosciate gaming w/ a lot of negative stereotypes. "Loner, weird, awkward, boyish, lesbian(which makes no sense), creep, etc." I happen to fit a lot of these so even if I didn't game I'd still be a bit isolated. Gaming both created and cushioned the blow of the disparities between me and other girls. I started playing games because I had these neighbors who were brothers and they had a ps2. I quickly got tired of just watching and started playing everytime I went over there (mostly Soul Calibur II). My mom got me a Gameboy Color when I was about 5, so I guess it was meant to be and no ones gonna change it!

 

[Merkavar]

im a guy. i would jsut ignore the person who says girls dont play games. you shouldnt be ashamed of stuff like that. should a girl be ashamed to like football? or like car racing?

last i hear the average gamer is a 30-40 year old women. with all the farmville and solitaire that they play.

 

[ph0b0s123]

Speaking as an older gamer, what you described actually seems very reminicent of what any gamer went through when gaming was in it's infancy and sociaty looked down on them. That was because gaming was rare.

Now gaming is not rare for males but is for females. I am afraid that female pioneers into gaming may have to go through same crap males did in the past. But bear with it, it will not last once it becomes more comman place.

 

[Vault101]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

Im not ahamed of the fact that I play games...of coarse in highschool I never mentioned it because any talk of videogames just gets blank stare from most girls

but now Ill ramble on about how awsome games are to anyone who will (or wont) listen

anyway its all to do with sterotypes and what society expects from genders

society tells girls that they should love clothes, shopping, make-up , pink and all that other girly sutff, thats socally acceptable, and theres ntohign really wrong with that, just because somone likes that feminine stuff dosnt automatically make them a shallow idiot

(but seriously what the FUCK is it with pink? I FUCKING hate pink I dont understand why anyone would like pink, pink is ALWAYS FUCKING ugly it NEVER looks good, the only way any sane person could like pink is if they were brainwashed by the media to think pink=girly=acceptable) sorry little rant there

anyway reality is 9/10 girls dont play "non causal games" and by that I mean games where you have to be a little bit of a geek to be intereated (also stuff thats on an xbox/ps3/PC) in the first place, so we are under represented (not indlucing those who do it for attention)

but things change, you can tell because I had to include a definition of "causual vs hardcore"

 

[Sir_Auron_the_Badass]

My folks (and I thank them for this) were never in to gender stereotypes and while I was little they would try various toys, they learned what interested me the most and let me play how I wanted. I was allowed to play with toys that might have been considered boys toys and it was never required of me that I be "girlie". I swear that when I see parents buying little girls toy hoovers and toy ironing boards I want to cry for those kids.

I always cringe whenever I see those parents that just forcefully enforce those gender stereotypes on kids that young. In fact, just a couple weeks ago while shopping a Walmart I actually saw a girl no older than 6 or 7 intently playing a Marvel vs. Capcom demo while her mother was buying a game for her brother. As soon as it was purchased, the mother noticed her daughter, quickly took her away from the controller without waiting for the fight to end, and immediately marched into the pink, doll filled isle. Side note, both the mother and daughter were dressed as if they were trying too hard to be fashion models, only, the girl seemed so uncomfortable in such clothes as if she just wanted to tear them off. Needless to say, I facepalmed and started praying for that girl.

I'm glad my parents didn't play into gender roles that much either, so I was entitled to be and enjoy whatever I wanted. From this, I was actually a lot less physical and more compassionate and understanding than most all the other boys I knew, while still being far from effeminate. More recently though, my parent were kind of slipping on this with my little sister (more out of being too busy than real neglect), so I stepped in. Think of those "girlie toy" isles I mentioned above, and that's the kind of stuff her life used to solely revolve around. With my guidance over the past couple years, she has developed a healthy taste for rock n' roll, sports, anime, and various genres of video games among other things while still retaining a fair bit of what makes her feminine. Because of this, I've heard that she's quite popular with both the boys and girls of her elementary school without having to pretend to be someone she's not.

 

[bluepilot]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

I do not think there is any reason to be ashamed of playing games.

However, some girls (only some) can be really competitive and spend a lot of their time grooming, plucking, waxing, applying, dressing, detoxificting (not even sure that is a word) e.t.c and feel that this kind of artificial beauty=self value.

Therefore, they look down on girls who a) do not follow this kind of lifestyle and b) do things which detract from this kind of supposed feminine beauty such as sports, certain careers e.t.c.

At the same time, they are a little jealous though, because some of these types of girl can attract a man, but have a hard time relating to them. Therefore they feel resentful of girls who make less effort with their appearance but get on better with males because they can share the same medium

Of course, these kinds of girls are free to have this kind of lifestyle, but I think that there is so much more to life that looking pretty and seeking relationships with men. Therefore in my free time I enjoy the things I love. Which are playing sports, Star Trek, Zelda games, hiking and reading.

I do not think you should be embarrassed about who you are and what you like.

I never think of myself as a "girl gamer" but rather "a girl that happens to play games". When I encounter any negative attitudes from other girls (and sometimes guys) about my gaming habits I just ignore them because I am happy with the girl I choose to be.

 

[Saelune]

Short of biological limitations, there is nothing a man can do a woman cannot, and vice versa.

 

[ryuutchi]

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

Because being smart means that ~boy won't like us~. And as we all know, women aren't allowed to have any interests that don't revolve around how much the menfolk want to tap that.

Lots of women sadly buy into that stupid patriarchal construction because it means that socially they're rewarded by not having THEIR interests ostracized. (minor benefits for the oppressed class that rely on them buying into letting themselves get oppressed. Hooray.)

 

[Ladette]

Because a lot of people are stuck in an archaic view of society where everyone plays their "traditional" roles. Guys play video games and drink beer, girls gossip and sip white wine while talking about Oprah's book of the month.
(no offense to woman who gossip or sip white wine, although Oprah book clubs are evil )

Personally I tell those people to get bent while continuing to play Fire Emblem on my GameBoy SP. Don't let other people push you into being something you're not, be the person you want to be.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease?

Sociology. Gender roles can be a *****. It's the same reason that men who behave in a manner or enjoy things that would be considered effeminate and thus ostracized for not fulfilling their expected gender role. (i.e. ballet, figure skating, musical theater).

Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

The decent reason hide it would be to feign conformity in an attempt to avoid ostracization if you find it necessary, but there's not legitimate reason to be ashamed.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

At the end of the day its always going to seem weird to other people when they see a female gamer

NO.

NO, NO, NO.

The only reason female gamers get even the slightest bit of slack, is because they rise themselves up on rediculously high pedastools and say LOOK AT ME I'M A FEMALE PLAYING GAMES, HOW ODD IS THAT??!

It is not weird. Everyone watches movies, everyone reads books - everyone plays games. There is little to no public wiplash from "a woman playing a game - oh the horror!" - it is all a self-induced fabrication, somehow trying to "stand out," or maybe just because it's genuinely believed that... what, people are judging them funny cos they're girl gamers? But no-one does that. No-one sane anyway. It's the same problems of homosexuals, saying WE HAVE TO BE EQUAL LOOK AT US WE'RE GAYS!! - yeah? I'm gay too. But I ain't demeaning the equality you strive for by waving the flag quite so proudly. There are no straight pride parades...

In conclusion. This is the 21st century. No-one cares a girl happens to be a gamer - and so, the girl gamers should care least of all.

 

[ryuutchi]

It's the same problems of homosexuals, saying WE HAVE TO BE EQUAL LOOK AT US WE'RE GAYS!! - yeah? I'm gay too. But I ain't demeaning the equality you strive for by waving the flag quite so proudly. There are no straight pride parades...

In conclusion. This is the 21st century. No-one cares a girl happens to be a gamer - and so, the girl gamers should care least of all.

Except that as evidenced by this thread and about five thousand others-- people clearly do still care, and women who play games are still treated differently than men who play games. And not just "when they put themselves out there".

Also, did you seriously just make a point about gay pride? You realize Gay Pride Parades come out of a history that involves people getting beaten up for being out, right? There can be Straight Pride Parades when heterosexuals get regularly beaten, killed, denied housing or work because they like to touch the bits of the opposite gender, dude.

Much like that, the "phenomenon" of women making it clear that they are women and they are playing games comes out of a history of being told that we don't exist, or if we do we should go back into the kitchen and make sandwiches. The best way to desensitize the mainstream to something is to discuss it. Put it out there. Prove that, yes, this does exist, no, it's not going away, and there is a community that refuses to be shamed for liking something they're being told not to enjoy because they have the wrong bits.

Because a lot of people are stuck in an archaic view of society where everyone plays their "traditional" roles. Guys play video games and drink beer, girls gossip and sip white wine while talking about Oprah's book of the month.
(no offense to woman who gossip or sip white wine, although Oprah book clubs are evil )

My dad loves Oprah and The View. He hasn't joined a book club yet, but he just retired and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time.

 

[ShogunGino]

Anything that I have to say is OT is basically going to re-iterate what many have already said, I do wish it was a mindset that I learned a while ago.(I'm a guy.)

I got my copy of Pokemon Blue right after my cousin gave his old original Game Boy. I played the crap out of it. I started watching the dub of the anime, collected every single card of the first series trading card game release, and I was really getting into the whole thing. Sadly, I never progressed past playing Gold and Silver because of all the torment I went through at school once many others found out that I liked it. I just gave up because I was a pretty sensitive kid and, other than my close friends, pretty much everyone else enjoyed being jackasses to us because of our enjoyment of it. Even in high school, the people I hung out with enjoyed playing Magic the Gathering(something I never got into) and still some people enjoyed coming up to us and taunting us saying we were playing Pokemon, calling it baby's toys.

Fast forward to my senior year when Diamond and Pearl came out near the end of the year. Since it was a more relaxed time, our English teacher(who was awesome) allowed us to play our DS's during down time, and here I see some guys start playing Diamond and Pearl with some of the "popular" girls having a good time watching over their shoulders. They guys in question were the exact opposite of who I would have expected to play pokemon, given their personalities were akin to those who were popular and would love to mock me and my friends. Ditto the girls who were generally of the type that used to reprimand if not taunt me. I fought the urge to give them the finger while I kept working.

I regret now that I let myself be swayed from something I quite enjoyed because others thought that I was being childish, and made efforts to make me feel bad over it. I know its different that being seen as unfeminine, but I think the parallels are obvious. So yeah, disregard what they say when treat you as deviant because of what you like to play. They're people who really need to learn to get over it.

 

[Ladette]

Because a lot of people are stuck in an archaic view of society where everyone plays their "traditional" roles. Guys play video games and drink beer, girls gossip and sip white wine while talking about Oprah's book of the month.
(no offense to woman who gossip or sip white wine, although Oprah book clubs are evil )

My dad loves Oprah and The View. He hasn't joined a book club yet, but he just retired and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time.

I only think they're evil because Oprah reminds me of the Anti Christ, and because she could use her legion of followers to stage an uprising and overthrow America.

Spoiler

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

It's the same problems of homosexuals, saying WE HAVE TO BE EQUAL LOOK AT US WE'RE GAYS!! - yeah? I'm gay too. But I ain't demeaning the equality you strive for by waving the flag quite so proudly. There are no straight pride parades...

In conclusion. This is the 21st century. No-one cares a girl happens to be a gamer - and so, the girl gamers should care least of all.

Except that as evidenced by this thread and about five thousand others-- people clearly do still care, and women who play games are still treated differently than men who play games. And not just "when they put themselves out there".

Also, did you seriously just make a point about gay pride? You realize Gay Pride Parades come out of a history that involves people getting beaten up for being out, right? There can be Straight Pride Parades when heterosexuals get regularly beaten, killed, denied housing or work because they like to touch the bits of the opposite gender, dude.

Much like that, the "phenomenon" of women making it clear that they are women and they are playing games comes out of a history of being told that we don't exist, or if we do we should go back into the kitchen and make sandwiches. The best way to desensitize the mainstream to something is to discuss it. Put it out there. Prove that, yes, this does exist, no, it's not going away, and there is a community that refuses to be shamed for liking something they're being told not to enjoy because they have the wrong bits.

My point is, "equality" is all but diminished once the ones who wish for equality start standing on their pedastools. I'm not saying let people continue being rude and unfair, of course not - but taking the moral high ground involves brushing it off every once in a while, instead of outright throwing it to the ground and stomping all over it.

And yes, I did make that point about gay pride parades. GAYS EXIST, that's great, but sometimes I think the people making the point need to get over it before anyone on the opposing end can.

I meant no hostility, I just think when propped up too high it damages causes, not the other way around. Inflated egos are bad things to be carrying around, s'all.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I don't think I've ever been avoided because of it, granted there're some girls where I know not to bring it up but that works the same for some boys.

Most girls I know wouldn't get weirded out by it, they probably wouldn't want to listen to me talk about it for hours but that can apply to any topic.