This one's for the girls.

[RicoADF]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

Girls have as much right to play video games as anyone else, no different to movies etc. If someone has an issue then their the one's with the issue. Personally I'd tell them where to go if that was me (tho I don't recommend it ).

 

[loremazd]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

Too be honest, I would say it's most likely the fact that women are somewhat conditioned to compete with each other, and tend to do so by stripping away the confidence of their peers. Generally most girls do grow out of this, much like males grow out of bullying.

If you're somewhat older, you're going to catch flak for gaming in public no matter who you are. It's seen as not a very adult thing to do outside parties and home use.

 

[michael87cn]

I think, it goes back to the fact that it wasn't known for a girl to enjoy these sort of things. In the past a women wasn't meant to do some things but stick to the cleaning?

I don't know if that makes any sense but to a male they don't understand why we would enjoy it, but there only meant to enjoy it, but us females.

At the end of the day its always going to seem weird to other people when they see a female gamer, am not sure why but yeh, and as you can hardly see. i really don't know how to explain it...lol..But yeh i wish they would see us girl gamers just the same as the male gamers, some times we're better

To the OP, I sympathize, you shouldn't have to feel ashamed for liking games in public.

And in response to the quoted, I think it's because, from OUR point of view (that is to say, as a man) when we play online games, sometimes 4-8 hours a day, we rarely, rarely rarely come across real women playing. In fact there are periods of my life, where I played say, an MMO or a shooter on xbox live, and I went an entire year without hearing a single female voice. The reason why its so shocking is because it IS rare, but NOT wrong. It's just rare.

I guess let me put it like this; I used to feel really embarassed when I was a kid and my mother would take me with her to the mall. She ALWAYS liked to try on outfits by the underwear section (in the changing stalls of course) so as I sat there, the only male in the entire store, I felt out of place. Because I sort of was.. it wasn't wrong for me to be there, just rare.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

I can't really talk about games with my friends in public because as soon as I mention something, I get called a nerd or geek(which stopped bothering me years ago). My friends then will give me dirty looks and avoid me for days.

No, they won't.

Those people with whom you've been wasting a lot of your precious time may, but your friends won't.

 

[funguy2121]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

I know you directed your question to girl gamers, but I'll chime in anywho and you can do what you want with my input.

There is a worse stigma for gaming than for sports, since it's still not quite mainstream and since, though so many guys do it, it's not considered "manly" by comparison. Therefore, there's going to be more of a stigma toward gaming from the immature stereotype-pedaling girls out there. You know, the ones who wear way too much makeup and fake-tan all year round and see every aspect of their lives in terms of status - "My God, I am SO ugly today!" Why yes, yes you are.

There will always be an army of sad little men who are unhappy/unsatisfied with the life they've chosen and eager to find any excuse to pick on a woman. But there are far more women for whom this is true. I wonder if the co-worker who said that considers Cosmo reading material.

Anyway, I probably don't have to tell you that we guys either don't care or think it's cool as Hell.

 

[Ver1ty]

I doubt there is anything wrong with playing video games as a girl. I play video games and most of my gal pals don't. Therefore, I don't talk about games with them, but they respect my interests in gaming.

I happen to be in the exact same position. Although, my friends occasionally show a tad of interest in which kind of games do I play, but that's all.

It happened to me quite a few times while playing CoD2 and CoD4, you find yourself first on the charts with a feminine name, and then you get accusations like "haha u r not a girl" or even ignorant comments like "girls dont play gamez". I usually ignore comments like these, but sometimes it gets irritating.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

Good reason? No.

Reasons. Yes.

You look like a child. You look like that loser boyfriend they dated. "Games are for kids." You're not a boy. Grow up. It's not something a respectable girl does. Don't you have something better to do with your life? Secretly I'm jealous because all the guys come talk to YOU instead of me, so I have to bash on your hobby (That last reason is my favourite).

I talk about video games and girls often roll their eyes at me. I've learned to shrug it off, realize that type of girl isn't my type of girl, and keep talking about what I love. Don't let your coworker bother you. Despite the protests, a true girl gamer--not a girl who plays games--is rare. Keep playing.

 

[chinangel]

I guess I've never really met a girl who's as fanatical about games as I am. I doubt I ever will though most (or probably even all) girls I know who do play games are terrible a them. So the only girls I know are casual gamers. Pfft I'm not ashamed.

heh. I take that as a personal challenge sir

naw, I'm definately not a casual gamer. I'm currently building my skills in MvC3, and I'm not half bad at CoD4 and Black Ops. ^^

 

[Ace of Spades]

For the same reason that I, a boy who doesn't like to play sports was ridiculed and ostracized for a good portion of his life. You stray from the collective, you are an anomaly, and you must be purged. If you like something that sets you apart from the crowd, do what I did. Find a different crowd.

 

[mekose]

I think it's weird in the same way it would be weird to see a guy playing with a barbie doll. For some reason it just turned into a primarily male activity, and people treat it as such. Eventually this conception will go away as more girls are brought into the industry and people finally realize that it's a activity for both genders to enjoy.

 

[MercurySteam]

I guess I've never really met a girl who's as fanatical about games as I am. I doubt I ever will though most (or probably even all) girls I know who do play games are terrible a them. So the only girls I know are casual gamers. Pfft I'm not ashamed.

heh. I take that as a personal challenge sir

naw, I'm definately not a casual gamer. I'm currently building my skills in MvC3, and I'm not half bad at CoD4 and Black Ops. ^^

*Sigh* If only I was so lucky to meet such a person.

 

[Alon Shechter]

Oh not this again.
Here's what I think,
that you insist on calling yourself a "GIRL Gamer" instead of just "Gamer" is what sets you apart from regular Gamers, because according to you, you're not a regular Gamer.
Girl Gamers shouldn't exist.
Gamers exist, and "Gamer" applies to both genders.
Call yourself a Gamer. Do not act as if you're special, because being female among gamers does not make you special.

Also, never EVER state that you're a GIRL gamer.
Never EVER state your gender unless someone is curious to what your gender is.
That's my take on the matter. Feel free to disagree.

 

[Dragunai]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

Ok, FINE if you're going to be civilised about it I guess I CANT join this one making cynically cutting and hilariously sexist jokes for all to enjoy. GOD! Selfish much?

The intelligent reply?

Modern perception of the gamer is someone who stays inside their bedroom, curtains drawn with a bag of cheetos and 3 bottles of coke / red bull / red bull rip off, while neglecting the real world. The misconception is that all they talk about IS videogames and those people who consider themselves to be "Trendy outgoing socialites" consider you to be the modern day equivilent to a leper.

This is because they have convinced themselves they are super cool and videogames are NOT for cool people. If they say they have an xbox they will mention it only to fit in and then let it die as fast as they can.

Now, to the gender specifics.

Women tend to be more outgoing and socialy orientated than men, I mean look at my situation, both my sisters have a vast number of friends and go out as often as their purses will permit while I prefer to stay at home shooting people in the face on my shooter games, Yelling at assholes all the while, or hacking limbs off on my RPGs, Yelling "DECAPITATION" as and where valid and so on.

If we now merge the preteniousness of people who dont understand the videogame culture of the modern world with the reality of the social side of women being more prominent than that of men we come to the conclusion that girl gamers should shut the hell up and make the men a sandwich.

I hope that helps.

Haha, no seriously. I prefer Bacon.

Ok ok, Sterotyping aside.
Its mainly because of how games are manufactured. These days a "good" game is considered to have more guns, explosions, cusses and nudity than a weekend in Vegas and these things are sterotypically attached to male enjoyment factors whilst game companies think that women wanna play cooking mama on their pink DS.

God bless the Japanese,

See reference:
http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/30/girl-gamer-magazine-thinks-its-still-the-1950s/

Moving on,

Stay strong li'l chica!
If you wanna play your PSP then you do it! Stick it to those nintendo loving bastards!
No wait, wrong subject point.

Erm...
Scrooooolling up...

Ah, ok why women are seen as outsiders in the gaming culture.
Right well,

No, Dont be ashamed.
I have been mocked and laughed at by girls who know my friends because I like games and dont hide it. I reply to their laughter with, "Love how stupid bitches like you cling to outdated sterotypes.... K bye now."

Hard to reply to someone who isnt fazed by mocking laughter when its all they got.

And finally,
The mom's reply.

IF you wanna do something, do it. If people judge you poorly for it, Fuck 'im. They're arrogant jerk offs who think they're better than you without justifaction.

Rock on li'l chica and stick it to those nightclub loving, STD infected socialite bastards!

 

[Phantomess]

Never had the problem. Most people I talk to about my love of (and degree in) gaming think I am exceptional. This is how I believe all girls who play games should think of themselves. We are exceptional because we have "dared" to become interested in an industry that wasn't primary designed to be exclusive to girls. I would like to draw the comparison with girls in the army. I do believe that in some cases, women are not allowed to perform certain duties (the most notable that comes to my mind would be driving tanks).

I play my DS at work (currently consuming Pokemon Platinum before I start Pokemon Black/White) and most of my co-workers ask me about my progression in the game on a regular basis (some even bring theirs to work with them). My point is, it is only a problem if you believe it to be. I don't, therefore it isn't to me. Be proud that you have an entertaining hobby that gives you cross-gender conversation material.

 

[ilspooner]

First off, why are you ashamed? I'm female, and I play games. There is nothing special or shameful about it! Tons of girls play games. I love playing games, it's one of my favorite pastimes.

 

[Alexnader]

Oh not this again.
Also, never EVER state that you're a GIRL gamer.
Never EVER state your gender unless someone is curious to what your gender is.
That's my take on the matter. Feel free to disagree.

Bah, leftist hippy rhetoric the lot of it!
I'm going to weigh in on this as a guy because I'm nosy, feel free to disregard all I say as merely unintelligible grunting about Black Ops.

I don't believe the term Girl Gamer detracts very much from the notion that gamers are of both genders.

MAJOR EDIT - The vast majority of what I'd previously said was a vague ramble that didn't go anywhere so I'm self-editing before anyone except Alon Shechter can see my verbal vomiting.

Your own reaction is part of the problem. Why should you have felt ashamed? You were doing something you enjoyed, and let some random comment make you feel bad about it. If you don't think gaming is worthwhile enough to feel ok about doing it, why should anyone else think it's acceptable?

I'd say it's perfectly understandable to feel ashamed if someone else thinks less of you, especially if it's a co-worker or someone you know. Not everyone feels indifferent to the disapproval of their peers, even when that disapproval may be poorly founded. I don't think she's the problem here. It's those who (consciously or not) feel the urge to reinforce a stereotype that they conform to whenever they see someone who deviates. I mean I'm sure the OPs' co-worker meant nothing by her statement other than that girl gamers may be a minority amongst girls but not many people like to hear that they're in the minority on something.

 

[Jewrean]

Snip

I agree with what you said to an extent and I think it's hypocritical and bullshit that the forum moderators put you on probation. To add further insult:

" FrostyChick:
Then you can go fuck yourself."

Apparently this kind of communication however is totally spot on with how we should communicate whereas the way you intelligently debated is not called for! I call bullshit on that.

 

[Brandon237]

I direct this question at my fellow female gamers out there. While at work I was playing my PSP, now I struggle already with social situations but I like to think I try. Anyways, one of my co-workers commented that girls really don't play games much (she was also female if it matters) which made me really embarrassed and actually ashamed of my title as a girl gamer. I also spoke briefly with a few of the boys there about other games, mostly shooters.

Now...my question to you is, why is it okay for guys to be into games, but when we get into them, or publicly show our love/interest/what have you of video games, other girls avoid us like we are carrying some kind of contagious disease? Is there any good reason why we should be ashamed or hide the fact we play games?

I know that according to the title, I don't qualify to answer this, but I know as many girls as guys who game, and not just casual games, but proper and often hardcore games.
Another thing, don't worry about what people think of the hobby, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

 

[Chani07]

Don't feel ashamed that some jealous chick told you that girls don't play video games much. Screw her and her narrow thinking. I've been playing games ever since i was a kid, one way or another. Even though i didn't have too much time. I used to play tennis, but then again, this is also a game, just not a video game.
I liked (and still do) to do things like sports, video games and things that weren't considered "girly". I barely have any female friends because we don't have the same interests. And to me, it's not a problem. A lot of females i know have complained about me playing video games and spending too much time on them, but i never gave a rat's ass. I play things on my phone as i walk on the street and women would look in a strange way at me and i still don't care.

My point is, don't feel bad about what makes you happy. Ever.

Chicks tell stuff like that only because they know that girls that play video games are so much more interesting and guys like them more and they feel threatened and intimidated. So next time, when some girl tells you that video games are not for girls, just shrug it off or you can just tell her to go f*** herself.

 

[flim.geek.chic]

Why should it matter if you're a girl who plays games? You don't have to label yourself as a girl gamer. If you enjoy video games as much as us guys do, then you're a gamer. Simple. There's no need to create this label. Let's just get rid of it, so we can all just be gamers.

THANKYOU! I've been trying to tell "GRRRRRL" Gamers that for years! Lets Just Be Gamers.